All that your blessed with. .

I don’t think about what I don’t have in my life,I think of all I am blessed with in my life. Yes there are times that life is tough and you wonder why isn’t God listening, to help you but its not on your time, its Gods time and the times that your going through are going to be  testimonies later on. When you look back and think “wow that was tough and I didn’t think I could get through that” 

in those dark times were you saying poor me or were you saying “yes this is a dark time but I am grateful for just waking up or because I have a home, or I am healthy,  or my girls are healthy” there are plenty of blessings you can be grateful for! 

So at this time of my life it is just crazy, trying to pack and move , starting a new business, training for a triathlon,  trying to finish my book there are some days I think what was I crazy! I am so exhausted but I wake up and give thanks for all my blessings and am grateful for all he has done in my life, this is nothing compared to the darkness and dispare I felt day after day for so many years and even then I still felt blessed and still gave thanks.

So today stop and think about what your blessed with and be grateful because it could have been another way.

The countdown begins. ..

 

The countdown begins …. yes there are a lot of things going on in my life now and I’m here to tell you change is good! In five days I am moving into a place I picked, that I will have all the say in all the decisions.  After twenty-four years of someone telling you what to do this will be like a person getting out of jail! So it wont matter if I am like a bachelor with only a 52 inch tv and a mattress on the floor! It will be mine! And in 11 days I will be doing my triathlon which was on my bucket list for a while, it was another thing that I never thought I could do! See what we can do when we put our minds to it?  Anything is possible! A new business who would have thought at this age I would be starting a new career? Sure as hell not me! 

So I am here to tell you all who are afraid to leave your situation,  afraid you can’t do it , cant make it, that yes you can just believe anything is possible and it is! I never imagined all of this (ok I did imagine my own place every day !) But the rest no way… it is greater than I ever dreamed and I am happier than I’ve ever been!! Life is great even if it’s really crazy right now its mine and I am grateful. So take the chance , make the change it’s all good!

 

How did you get to be a professional Organizer?

Someone asked me how I got started in this professional organizing business I was legal assistant for many years, my boss went to jail for embezzlement and the real estate market went belly up. I was out of work for eight months when my Bishop said do what your passionate about I said to my friends “do people really pay for this?” But I had nothing to lose so I did and I tried and tried to get an ad with Groupon. and Living Social but no luck, when I prayed “God if this is what I am supposed to do send a sign and since I am dumb let’s make it clear have either one of those companies call” and the next day the phone rang and it was Groupon! I Can’t make this up! But I am human and needed yet another sign so three days later at church,  there was a  women who was sitting next to me,  crying I put my arm around her and after service she turned and says she is a pastor from the Bahamas and god told her to come here tonight, he wants me to know that I shouldn’t worry that my new businesses is going to be a success just trust and believe! I went into the ugly cry,  I had never saw this women before or since! Again I am human and dumb and a week later I get a job offer that I went on three interviews for , I so wanted this job it had a great salary,  benefits the whole package and even though it didn’t feel right, even though I prayed and got my signs I still went against Gods will and took it.

After a big whole day there they called and said they were too busy to train, it wasnt going to work out, I was devastated and cried all night, when I was done with my pity party,  the next day the phone rang and hasn’t stopped since.  Stay turned to part 2

Love people for who they are….

One of the great lessons I learned from going home this summer was that you need to accept people for who they are. Yes we all have faults, we are not perfect maybe your husband or wife have many wonderful qualities but they are a slob, or absent minded you still realize the great qualities out way the bad.My dad would drive me nuts , saying things over and over, he didn’t know where the refrigerator was even though it was in the same place for thirty years! But on cold winter nights when my mom went to work he would go and shovel the snow and warm her car, he would polish her shoes and have them ready, he made coffee for her every morning so yes he was a pain in the butt but he had a good heart. 

I am blessed to have many, many friends and they all have different personalities, good qualities and bad but I look at each friend and see the wonderful things.

I have one friend who can tell the biggest stories you don’t know whats true and whats not but he has the biggest heart and would  give you the shirt off his back,my other friend will promise he will call but disappear for a week or more calling as if nothing had happened but he is a softie, has a huge (no not ego, okay maybe but that’s not what I was going to say!) Personality ! He lites up the room and you cant help but like him even if sometimes he makes you want to scream!

So do you cut someone out of your life because they have faults,  if those faults are causing you pain, yes! if there bad qualities out way their good , yes! If they are sucking all your positive energy,run like Hell! 

All of us have things we would like to change, I would love not to curse at stupid drivers, I try but…. I would love to have more patient,  I want it done now! (Kinda learned that one its Gods time not mine ) but its still hard. Just take the time to see all of the person all the good in their soul to see who they truly are.

Your never to old…

You are never to old… yes that is the truth you are never to old to change, to learn new things, to start over, to fall in love , to find God, to do whatever it may be.

lets start with change, for many years I was afraid of change, so I stood in the same miserable spot, because hey even if I was miserable at least I knew what was coming!

The old saying is you cant teach an old dog new tricks, but that’s not true, technology is changing I have eighty year olds hiring me to teach them the ipod and ipads, I want to keep learning new things until I’m dead!

Starting over well I am almost fifty  I just started a whole new career, business and life! Are you kidding all at once!  I was married twenty four years , hows being single after that many years! 

To fall in love well it hasn’t happened yet but I am not bitter, I do not think all men are like my ex, yes I still believe in happily ever after and fully except to have that one day!

to find God I came back to church and God three years ago, I was afraid I am so far from perfect but I needed to find peace and joy in my life and had no where eles to turn, and have never regretted my decision. 

To do anything,  look I am doing a triathlon in eighteen days did I ever think I could Hell no! I couldn’t even swim without looking like a drowning cat! I had perseverance and determination to do this and alot of faith that I wasnt going to drown!

Life is 90 percent of what happens to you, 10 percent what you do about!

take the chance, just don’t it, yes it will be scary as Hell I wont lie but it is so worth it trust me !

you are never to old to change anything!!

When things go wrong…they go wrong!

As I was writing this blog about how things went totally wrong on Friday the 13 and how I lost it , I was just about to post it when poof! it was gone, lost in cyberspace! Really?? Ok so I write this to inspire you but I am human and yes stuff gets to me I am far from perfect,  I am walking this walk along side of you all. I just write about it so that you really  that you are not alone, we all have the same problems, I write the good, the bad and the really ugly to know yes its all of that for all of us but it is how we deal with it that is different.

when I woke up on Friday 13, my phone app and contract app ran off in the middle of the night, I called tech support in India at 5 am to have him hang up on me three times because he spoke little english and thought suck was a bad word!

then after missing the gym and taking 2 hours to reprogram the phone, now late go to new house lockbox won’t work, called for insurance after the whole press 1 , press 2 ten minute routine and telling my story about needing to speak with someone now, he puts me through to a voice mail yugg! Start all over, now your all laughing because you can relate yes it kept getting worst but I went to my car took a few deep breaths ok maybe more than a few! Then I thought about all that was good in my life that there is something big coming, that I have to have faith and not let anyone or anything steal my joy!

So I tell you this so that if these days happen to you and trust me they will, you can stop yelling and cursing (oh, did I leave that part out? Yes there was that too!) Step back, take a deep breath and realize all that’s good and all that’s coming, it will be alright!

 

I am grateful to be an American…

There are so many things I am grateful for in my life but today makes me grateful to be an American! Yes September 11 was one of the worst days in history for our country but somehow throughout the tragedy we became one as a people. People helped their neighbors, our brave men and women saved many people and many died trying. My city of New York which had always been thought of as a cold uncaring city, showed the world what we were made of, that yes we are tough but we have hearts of gold, it also showed you will never keep us down! This day changed our perception of what is means to be an American, NO, you were not going to divide us, just the opposite we came together as nation, mad as hell and ready to fight for our freedom and our country!

So today I am so grateful to be an American, to know that I live in a country that is so passionate about our right for freedom, that people from around the world would risk their lives to get that gift, that young men and women are brave enough to fight for those freedom and that I am able to right this blog and say what I wish, through freedom of speech, it is amazing and I am grateful.

The steps to change..

Everyone has had things happen.to them in their lives it is how we deal with it that matters.

1- You have to have faith

Faith that anything is possible!

 

2- You have to have a goal or a dream

Without a dream you are dead! Dream big!

 

3- You must be willing to work hard to achieve it

Faith without works are dead, anything worth getting takes work!

 

4-You need to get away from the nay sayers and the haters

They are worthless on your journey,thats why they are were they are,cut loose!

 

5- Dont be afraid of change!

Change can be wonderful,exciting and better than you ever dreamed!

 

6-Believe! Believe,Believe!

Even when it seems humanly impossible, believe that God can and does miracles !

 

It is funny while I was packing I found some old journals and I re-read them (more stories for my New York Times bestseller book) even through my darkest days, I never stopped praying, I never stopped dreaming of more, I never stopped believing that my times were going to change, that my dreams were going to come true! Even as I cried while writing it,as my heart was breaking and I couldn’t see the sun ,I still believed it would get better!

And now I am no longer afraid of change ,because it is greater than I could imagine.and I have found peace and happiness.

So my friends why don’t you try my simple steps and change your life,do it today!

And the Oscar goes to… me!

I have been living in the same neighborhood for the last twenty years, so you get to know everyone.

While I.was at the grocery store this weekend I ran into someone and they said they heard I was getting divorced she said “but you looked so happy,we thought you were the perfect couple”

Yes the Oscar goes to me! I was a great actress and deserve the Oscar, yes I had lots of years of acting happy because it was “very important”‘what the outside world thought about us!( I heard that comment for years)

“Dont curse, real ladies don’t curse”, “don’t bite your nails, people are looking, are you trailer trash?” “Why is the house a mess, or the kids hair not combed,is this how you want people to think of you as the pig you are” ( they were playing, why clean up behind them? Their hair was a mess because they are at the playground) didn’t matter the outside world had to see a perfect picture of a perfect family all the time.

I was so unhappy but couldn’t show my girls so I plastered on a fake smile and pretended all was great. Yes I was so good I even held hands in public and acted like he was the sweetest man on earth. I knew if I didn’t there would be hell to pay and for weeks with not speaking to me or worst yet he would say ” look how ungrateful you are, for all that I have done for you, look where I found you?” ( lets look at reality with a business, my own home and a brand new car and money, not quite under 95 in a box)

“I am the breadwinner,you don’t contribute anything here!” ( again only running his.businesses,taking care of all two.hundred of his animals and his house and children, I really didn’t work much!)

So I put on a smile even when I wanted to cry, even when I was dying inside,even when some mornings I wished for death to take me away from this pain, I pulled myself up and pasted on that smile and went into my Academy award winning performance of the happy wife.

I know it shocked alot of people but the point of this blog and my book is to let people know,you never know whats going on behind closed doors, behind that fake smile. Maybe someone out there is reading this and sees themselves and they have no hope ,but after reading this and knowing I can do it change everything, that they can find the courage to change, take the mask off show the world, not defeat, not shame but the strength to make a change, to tell your story with a testimony that you are a survivor!

So do you really want the Oscar?

Your never too old to change!

I am a big believer in you are never to old to do anything or change anything. Well… you say I cant because I’m too tall ,yes you are, I’m too short and guess what your not going to grow, I’m a certain skin color, not changing any time soon, I’m too poor, I’m not smart enough, my husband/wife/ mother/father/ teacher says I can never do it!

Yes you can sit here all day and fill in the blanks with why you cant do it, believe me I have done it why do you think I stayed in a verbally abusive marriage for so.long, because I filled in all the blanks! I know what it is to be afraid of change but if we don’t change we will die and we will die with regrets and I don’t want any regrets! I want to be that sixty-four year old women who tried and tried and tried to swim from cuba to key west no one thought she could do it, but she knew she could and kept trying at sixty four!!!

Someone asked me what do I want my time to be in the triathlon, I answered before dark I hope! It doesn’t matter to me I never in a million years thought I would be doing that so as long as I cross the finish line ,even if I have to crawl across  will be a good day!

I am going to be fourty nine I am doing a triathlon,I just got divorced,I started.a.new business, I am writing a.book and a blog, I am moving out of a home ive lived in for ten years there are so many things I never thought were possible, but I tried, I decided.age is.just a number and change isn’t as scary as I once thought!

So do you want to fill in your blanks with regrets or do you to fill them in with new exciting challenges? The pen is in your hand,choose wisely.