Being single in today’s world is a trip! Years ago when we were kids the most important thing was “is he cute?” Then as we became teenagers it was “was he cute and could he afford to buy us a slice of pizza?” ( hey I’m from New York pizza was important!)

As you got a little older it was ” was he cute and does he have a car?”

As we got into college it became about “was he cute and which parties could he get you into” after college things started to change we started not to worry so much about cute but about would he be a good provider and would he be a good dad.

Sometimes some of us made the right decision, some times not so in this faze of our lives when so many of us may have chose wrong we are now questioning ourselves and the choices we made.We awoke one morning to say

“is this all there is? What is my purpose?” 

And we go on a spiritual journey to find ourselves,  some of us me included read, go to classes,  get into meditation,  yoga , the gym and really looking deep inside to find what we want , need and who we truly are.

The journey took me four years , two years before being separated and two years after to find me , to be healthy and to be healed from all the hurt I endured during my  twenty four years of abusive marriage.   

It was only after that when I knew I was ready to date I knew who I was , what I needed and what is a deal breaker.

I need healthy,  someone who went through his own journey, is whole and out together,  I am not looking for perfect as I am far from that myself,  but I want someone that doesn’t party,  that believes in God and goes to church, that thinks their body is their temple and works to keep it healthy, that has a kind heart and soul.

Its not about the looks (okay not on the top of the lost anymore) its not about the money (been that done that,wasn’t happy)

Its not about the places they can take you or things they can buy you, its about are they healthy mentally and physically,

did they do the work to get there and know the hard journey it was to get to this place of peace and joy.

I know where I am at and this time I will not settle.

 So ask yourself are you settling? Then ask why?