With this year coming to a close , it gives us time to look back and reflect over the year and the choices we have made or didn’t make.
A year has went by, 365 days of your life , did you use them well? Did you change things you swore you would change last year? Did you make promises only to break them soon after?
What have you learned? Last night,the night before the New Year, I learned a valuable lesson, I learned that I am bringing the sins of my past relationships into the future with me. I never thought I was as I have always been a avoicate of leaving your past in the past.
A lot of my friends hate all men because of things their ex’s have done to them, they don’t trust anyone because of the hurt and pain they once felt.
I have always said there are great men out there, that not all men are out to hurt you, that you have to have an open heart and trust again.
I never knew that I was carrying any sins from my past until he said to me “right off the bat you assumed the worst,and you put up a wall, not every man is going to treat you like your ex”
It kind of shook me to the core, I don’t want to be that person, I who preach about loving people for who they truly are , I couldn’t possibly be doing that could I?
But I guess subconscious I was, we all are afraid of opening our hearts up and getting hurt, we want the people we love to love us back and when they don’t , its hurts.
So after a few times of putting ourselves out there we close down, self preservation kicks in.
For me a life without love is not worth living, I love big , with all my heart and I’ve lived without love in my life for too long that for me is not a choice, its a must.
I have realized that I need to stop and take inventory of what I say and where it is coming from.
This been single is all new to me and if I want to be in a loving relationship one day I need to not carry over things from the past.
So this year really take a good look at what sins you have been carrying with you and let them go for the new years, start fresh, its amazing what that feels like.