The signs all around us

Last night I had a strange dream about getting stuck in a elevator and my kids were out there scared and a nice man took care of them until I got out safe.

Turns out he was Steven King and they told him I was a writer and he helped me get my book out to be a Ny Times bestselling author. I woke up thinking what was that about?

I then get to the gym and I always listen to Steve Harvey and this mornings message he started off saying ” if you want to be a best selling author” ( ok people I cannot make this shit up if I tried!) “You need to envision it , but when you get there and you think how could this happen, remember it had nothing to do with you, it is Gods grace on your life to open the doors to get you there.”

You never know what doors he is going to open on your behalf, when you see someone and they tell you their story and you think how did that happen? It is unrealistic, there is no explanation to why this happened except God has his hand in it.

I have huge faith, extraordinary faith (Hello I do go to The Faith Center, ordinary people, extraordinary faith is our saying!) that this is my destiny just as I had the faith that I was going to be living this incredible life after all the years of misery I suffered. 

These are signs that God is giving to me to let me know that it is coming,  do I have faith and the patience to wait? Oh you know it, if I have to be like Sarah in the bible and wait 99 years, I will not lose faith I will believe he will do this.

There are signs all around us , there are whispering in our head, you will be thinking something and someone will say it, be at the library and a book jumps out at you, some song will come on the radio saying just what you needed to hear, it is not coincidence, its God.

So what signs are you getting? What is God whispering in your ear? But the bigger question is do you believe? And do you have faith?

Let karma do its thing…

Its amazing how when you are hurt, you want others to hurt. After 24 years of my verbally abusive marriage and when I didn’t get what I thought was due to me, like alimony and more child support, I was mad!

How could this be possible, how come I ensured 24 years of misery and get nothing? how does he win yet again? where is the fairness to it all? where is karma and how come it wasn’t doing its job?

So I decided to take it into my own hands, as we walked out of the court house I stuck my hand in his face and said

“what you have done on to me, has already been done onto you!”

It was the celie curse from the movie the Color purple, where he beats her and treats her like dirt even keeping her away from her sister but she gets the nerve to leave and curses him.

At the end of the movie he is a drunk, the house is falling apart with chickens and goats running through it and he hears the door and yells out “celie is that you?I’m sorry”  too late you got yours, karma at its best.

I wanted that, I wanted him to suffer like me, sorry I am not perfect,  yes I go  church,  I try to be a good person but I am human and I wanted him to hurt like he hurt me.

Last week he did something stupid with my girls and their friends and when they came over they proceed to tell me that he had no food in his house, they ate McDonalds all the time, there was only beer in the refrigerator,  the house was a mess , it was falling apart and he was miserable.

You would think I’d be happy, “yes celie curse worked oh yeah good for you, you got what was coming to you!”

But instead I felt shame, shame that I wished bad on a person, let alone a man at one time I loved, that was the father to my children, what kind of person was I ?

I was a person who is learning Gods lessons, it is not for me to judge nor is it for me to think I should be jury. God will do that.

I got to start over, I am happy,  so happy I could never imagine, I have peace in my heart,  I love my life, I have an incredible home, incredible friends and family,  I am so very blessed , I got what I wanted.

How could I wish bad on someone when I am so blessed? How can you have hatred in your heart and love at the same time? You cant, you must let one go, I chose to let go of anger and revenge and spitefulness.

You get what you out out there, I want to out out kindness and love, that is what I want to get and keep getting.

So I prayed for forgiveness,  that I was so hurt at that time , I was lashing out in anger, anger I no longer have… so I am sorry,  I no longer wish bad on you , I wish you happiness, I am trying to be a better person and every little step gets me closer to that goal.

So release your hurt, your anger, let karma do its job on its own, it doesn’t need help from you.

All you need is faith…

I have realized that all I need in my life is my faith in God, as long as I have that everything else will fall in place. 

Alot of religious people scare off people who are trying to find their faith. They make it seem like you need to be perfect in order to find faith. So people think “well I’m not perfect so this won’t work for me” and walk away.

Steve Harvey always says “you will never be perfect so quit trying!” And he’s right, its not about being perfect, its about trying to be the best you, you can be, that’s all.

Its about getting to the place where you can find peace and joy because you have faith and you know no matter what storm you might go through, you will hold on to that faith and know it will be alright. 

You will look at your bad times and think “what is the lesson I am suppose to be getting from this or this test will be for my testimony” and you will not lose hope.

When your business is not going as you would like it, when your salary gets cut , when you lose your job, you will stay calm in the storm because you know you have deep faith and you know God will provide for you.

Maybe your stressing over your kids, your love life or your family. You don’t know what to do and its tearing you up inside.

To some of you , you might be saying “well shes in a dream world, what I am not going to worry, yea right who’s going to pay my bills , she has lost her mind”

When its just the opposite,  I have my mind, it is clear,I chose not to worry about things I cannot change, It is better to make myself sick , worry, have stress? Are those things going to make it better?pay my bills?get me more money? No it won’t,  but if I keep my faith, pray and know it will be okay,  I might be in the same situation but I feel peace , I am calm, I can hear what is to come next and I am more open to things I have never thought about before.

Sometimes life has a way of making you slow down and take a look around , to make you appreciate what you do have, it is all the way you look at things.

So my New year’s resolution is to “pray and let God worry” a wonderful quote from Martin Luther King.  And each and every day I do just that. 

Try it ,it is amazing how it can change your life!

Take a chance…

Sometimes you just have to be willing to take a chance. That applies to all areas of your life, if you aren’t willing to put yourself out there how will you know what waits for you around the next corner.

If you are in a job you hate and day after day you go, resenting the fact that you are there but you never look for a new job because you are afraid of change, then you will stuck there with more resentment.

If you have  been hurt in the past and you still carry around the scars of your ex, your not willing to open up your heart to anyone for fear getting hurt again, then how will you know when a great guy comes along that truly loves you? You might miss out on a once in a life time love affair because you cant or won’t take a chance.

Maybe your in a horrible relationship and yet you stay because you think, I cant make it on my own or that no one will want me, yet every day another little piece of you is dying, you are selling your soul for that big house or nice car.

You can see how things could change because of fear, you cant imagine what great things can come if you take leap of faith.

Yes I know its scary, believe me but even if you fail, even if it doesn’t work out , at least you tried and guess what? the next time won’t be as scary.

But maybe just maybe… you try and it completely changes your world , it knocks you off your feet, its the best thing you’ve ever done and you think dam I could have been this happy last year, five years ago, ten years ago yet I stayed because of fear?

Don’t live your life with regrets ,take the chance, it is so worth the risk!

its all the way you look at it..

Its all the way you look at things, I truly believe that. You can wake up and say “ugg another day this sucks!” Or you can wake up like I choose to and say “oh thank you for another day I am alive!” 

You can go to work and say “I hate my job, this one doesn’t do there job right, I am so such smarter than all of these people” Or you can say “I am grateful I have a job when so many others cant find one, and I know this is where I am suppose to be right now, until God opens another door and until then I will be a team player.

You can say “My life sucks, nothing every goes right, I will never find anyone, what else crappy can happen next?” Or you can say “I am so blessed and grateful for my life and all in good time things will come until then I will keep praising him for the peace and joy I have in my heart which is priceless. 

You can be miserable each and every day or you can wake up with a smile on your face, its a choice, you choose! This is your life participate in it!

I refuse to talk bad about people, at work I walk away or I stand there and point out that persons good qualities (that shuts people right up!)

I refuse to blame others for my mistakes,  I own what I do , I am not perfect nor will I ever be. I will take responsibility for all of my actions, good, bad or stupid!

I laugh at myself, all the time (didn’t you just read the stupid part?) Its all right to laugh at yourself,  again you are human and everyone has done something like you just did so why beat yourself up , laugh it off!

I choose to be kind to people even when they aren’t kind back, could they be having a bad day? Could they just be in such a dark place , they can’t see kindnesses? Can your kindness be the only kindness they felt in a while? You don’t know but how much did it cost you to be kind? Nothing and you will never know if you changed a persons day or for that matter, life.

So today my friends make an effort to choose wisely. I think each and every day, all I want is to one day get to heaven and for God to say to me “Well done!”

Makes your choices a lot easier!

The people who bless your life..

I have always been blessed even in my worst days, I still felt like I was blessed, but since I’ve gotten divorced I feel that I am  much more blessed.

I have always had so many wonderful friends in my life growing up, maybe because I was an only child and always wanted a big family, so they were the family I chose for myself.

When I first got together with my ex he made me choose between him and my two best friends, (yes the red flags were screaming!) But I thought I was in “love” and he wanted the best for me. He thought my one bestie was a slut and my other one was gay and I didn’t need to associate myself with “those” type of people.

So I cut all ties with them (yes it broke my heart, but I had just sold my business, rented my home and moved 1500 miles because I was in love, how could I go back with my tail between my legs? I couldn’t )

For many years I had no friends just him and I was so lonely and so very sad. He didn’t want me to contact my old friends as that meant that I must want to sleep with them. So I was sad and it wasn’t until my second daughter was born that I finally found a friend who also had two daughters, she was my life line, we became insepretable, I loved her like a sister.

As I started to find my voice again, I started to get more friends, my old self was emerging and I started to talk to old school friends again.

And yes my two old besties after a long apology letter and many prayers on my part,forgave me. I said I was blessed didn’t I?

Now two years after our separation and divorce I am once again blessed with more friends then once person should ever have! I am so very grateful for all of these wonderful people in my life.

Two of my dear friends Facebooked me yesterday just to say they miss me and was thinking of me!do you really have to ask how blessed I am?

There was a post yesterday that said you never forget your childhood friends and I wrote “how can I , I talk to them every day!”

Yes it is true and I hope that you don’t close yourself off to the most incredible heart warming thing in life, true friendship it will change your life, trust me on this!

The people who bless your life..

I have always been blessed even in my worst days, I still felt like I was blessed, but since I’ve gotten divorced I feel that much more blessed. 

I have always had so many wonderful friends in my life growing up maybe because I was an only child and always wanted a big family, so they were the family I chose for myself.

When I first got together with my ex he made me choose between him and my two best friends, (yes the red flags were screaming!) But I thought I was in “love” and he wanted the best for me. He thought my one bestie was a slut and my other one was gay and I didn’t need to associate myself with “those” type of people. 

So I cut all ties with them (yes it broke my heart, but I had just sold my business, rented my home and moved 1500 miles because I was in love, how could I go back with my tail between my legs? I couldn’t )

For many years I had no friends just him and I was so lonely and so very sad. He didn’t want me to contact my old frinds as that meant that

A life changing night!

If you ready my blog you know that the last three years I have been attending a church called The Faith Center,the people there and my Bishop has literally saved my life and I am externally grateful.

So once a year, the first week of the year we pray and fast to thank God for all he has done and all he will do this new year.

This is our gift to him and on the 6th day we do a shut in with prayer and worship for hours, then we all get anointed by the Bishop so we will be ready and blessed for all that is coming in this year.

Well Friday night was a life changing night, I have never seen or felt anything like it before and to hive you background I was not a believer beore in church or the workings of it so this whole church thing is new to me!

But even a non believer could see what was going on there, the energy was electrical, you could touch it, it brought people to their knees, it made grown men cry, it was the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen.

Right before the Bishop was going to anoint us he stopped and said.

“God wanted me to tell someone here a message (now we have a congration of three thousand people, its a big church)

“Who here is writing a nook and is almost finished with it?”

I raised my hand and look around to all these members I was the only one with their hand raised.

“God said not to worry in the natural how this is going to get published,  how you can get this published, what the grammar and spelling is like , this is your purpose, this testomny is your gift to others, so that you may show them what true faith is and what can happen if you believe,  this is a year of supernatural abundance , this is your season, stop worrying!”

I of course went into the ugly cry because this is what I’ve been praying for , that I publish this book, that I help others that are goimg through what I went through.

To give hope that all things are possible if you believe,  I sat there along time crying knowing , really knowing God’s purpose for my life and knowing that the faith I had before is nothing like the faith I am going to have in the future.

This night was life changing,  I want everyone to be able to feel the peace , joy and love I have in my heart there is no price you can put on it. Its all because I believed, I let go of my fear and let God and my life has changed.

Sooo if everything else hasn’t worked in your life why not try?what do you have  to lose?

 

 

Wait! I thought it was suppose to be this way!

In this long journey I have taken I have realized that even when you think your supposed to go down one road , life switches it up and takes you down a completely different path.

Now you can fight it and will,because most of us don’t like change, we are comfortable with what we know, we like routine, its the why change what’s not broken mentality. 

Or you can learn to trust God and say

“I have no idea where I am going but I put my life in your hands trusting you will take me where I need to go”

There as been more changes in my life in the last year it has made my head spin and for someone who feared change, at first it was really scary, but I have learned to have undying faith, to believe that I will be okay if I have that faith.

Now is it always easy?,  Please! No, its not! but change forces you to grow, to see what you are made of, it tests your faith and it will rock you to your core but when you come out on the other side, the view is so much better from where you were before! It will take your breath away!

So jump in but make sure you put on your seat belt and your helmet(you will need it for all the quick stops, narrow corners and new roads you will going on) start the car,  throw it in drive and step on that gas then hold on tight for the ride of your life! Wheeeeeeee!!!

The soul of a person…

I have always been a big believer in the soul of a person, who you truly are in your heart and soul.Yes we are all human and sometimes we make mistakes, but our mistakes don’t define who we are, who we are in our souls.

Sometimes all a person needs is kindness from others, someone who will believe in them, who will see the kindness in their soul to turn their life around.

How do you not know that those kind words you spoke to someone today may have changed their lives? Maybe today was the day they decided to end it all, but your kindness changed the way they view the world and changed their mind.

Do you walk right by a homeless person and not answer them when they speak to you? Why are you better then  them ? No you just are in Gods grace in “this season” of your life, but remember” there before the grace of God go I”

Is that person less of a person than you? No, they might have made mistakes, they might have had some bad breaks, maybe they didn’t have the strength to believe,  to pull themselves up, they lost their faith and hope.

They still bleed the same red blood and at night they still cry the same tears as you.I will always look into a person soul and see who they are before I judge them on the outside.

Who are we to judge someone?are we perfect?can you honestly say you are a true “Christian?” No and it doesn’t matter how much you go to church or read your bible, it ain’t happening!

We can try to do our best but we will never be perfect, so then if your not perfect how can you judge others?

Have you never lied? Cheated? Did something you knew wasn’t right?, I can go on and on… You are not perfect so stop judging people on what you see, what you hear, what others tell you start judging them on their kindness of their soul, just imagine what a better place this world would be!