People say to me all the time “oh your divorced? Oh I’m so sorry” about what? I’m sure the hell am not sorry! I am thrilled, ecstatic, incredibly happy! What’s to be sorry about?
I am free, I am truly me, I no longer have to be something else for someone else. I no longer have to worry about someone else’s expectations, I no longer have to walk on eggshells!
How do I know that I don’t regret my decision? The other day I had to call my ex about our daughter and just the thought my me sick to my stomach, I hadn’t spoke to him in months (thank god for text messaging!) I didn’t want to speak to him, I never speak his name, I never speak bad about him to my kids, I just kind of pretend he doesn’t exist. (Works for me)
But yes you have kids together, you have to talk from time to time and even though we didn’t fight and it was a quick conversation, it still had me in knots. Yes I have forgave him for all he has done, I owned my part in the marriage and forgave myself and I have moved on, just his voice brought back so many unpleasant memories, that I couldn’t hang up fast enough and when I did hang up I gave thanks that I was free, that I no longer lived in that situation any longer.
I have realized that even though I took two years by myself to work on me, I still have baggage and issues (imagine that?) I have issues with someone trying to tell me what to do, I have ground rules (hey Dr.Phil says you start a relationship in the beginning how you want to be treated)
I didn’t realize how many ground rules I really had.
1- no cheating , done , over bye bye
I trust you until you give me reason not to.
2-No lying , if you have one lie there’s probably going to be more.
3-Do not disrespect me, ever for no reason!(been there don’t need a repeat performance)
4-Dont try to change me, sorry this is it take it or leave it!
5- I will not be asking your permission for anything , I will discuss it but I will never be someone else child again , my father is dead, he was the only one I will ever have.
Maybe these are too many, maybe I am too hard in my stand, maybe I am still hurt inside and am trying to make sure that never happens again.
Every day I am trying to be a better person and every day I am learning and yes every day I put it out there so others know that they are not alone in their struggles.
This is all new for me and I am trying to believe all men wont treat you like this, that all men don’t need to be told the ground rules, that some men just truly want to see you happy.
So the question is am I happy absolutely! In with all the learning and trails , I now know who I am for for that I will always be happy!