Happy anniversary to me!

Today I woke up and realized that today was my old anniversary, it would have been nineteen years married to my ex. I woke up ecstatic knowing that I am no longer married, that I no longer have to pretend to be happy, to pretend that I am a perfect wife!

When you first say I do, you never imagine ¬†what will come later on, your in “love” till death do us part and all of that.You never think about the bad only “happily ever after”

Then you wake up one morning eighteen years later thinking, who am I? who is this man I married? what happened to the sweet man the first persuade me? how could he treat me this bad and still say he loves me?

You have lost yourself to become the perfect wife and perfect mother, you gave up your career and your life in order to make every one else happy. In doing so you have lost yourself and made yourself miserable.

Until one day you can no longer breathe, your dying a slow death and you need to get out before you die, at all costs, you need to go !

You don’t care about the big house, fancy cars, big vacations, all of the showy things that you thought were so important when you were young, mean nothing to you now.

You know eating peanut butter and jelly will taste a lot better when you are free then filet mingon behind bars.

And so so break out, you run for your life , you no longer care what he or others say about you, you are not looking back , you can see your new life and God it looks so good!

Yes it is hard and yes there are days that it is scary,knowing you have to do it all on own your own but the feeling of relief and peace you feel over runs all of the fear you have.

Would I ever in a million years thought that this year could be so wonderful, no it has been beyond my wildest dreams, do I have any regrets , yes just one … that I didn’t do it sooner!

So for my first anniversary of being my own person I would like yo share my joy with you all and give you some words of wisdom. .. if your in a horrible marriage and yet another anniversary is coming up and your dreading it, stop and think about how short life is, be present, be happy, have peace in your heart if that’s not happening change it, tomorrow might be too late!