I can’t leave. … women use this all the time I can’t leave because….you fill in the blanks. Hell I was even a woman that use this line.
Mine was at first, well he loves me… he’s just doing this or saying this because he loves me. Then it was well… we have kids, I was raised in a divorce home, I don’t want them to be raised that way.
When he had cut my self esteem to nothing, it was well…he will take my kids away from me, he has the money and power and I will not have my girls.
As I started to get back a little self esteem, it was well… he has been saying for twenty four years , I am worthless, that I can’t make it without him, how am I going to do this, this fear kept me there.
Yes, there are many excuses that keep us in unhealthy relationships . They are toxic, they are no good any more, they are going no where fast yet we hold on and we make up excuses on why we cant leave.
I have a girlfriend who is smart, she went back to school at 40 to become a nurse, she is beautiful, kind and has a hot body, she left a abusive marriage of 35 years to hook up with guy who has been ten times worst then her ex husband.
He says things like “why cant you look like that? Your getting old looking, you should dress like that” he is younger than her and he knows what to say to hit her buttons.
She has become insure, jealous and she cries every day, it breaks my heart what he is doing to her and how she is allowing it to effect her.
Why doesn’t she leave… well her excuse is I love him… no one else is going to want me I am older now…. are you kidding me? She doesn’t see what I see, all of these wonderful qualities I see.
She is worth so much more than what she is getting, but as many times as I try to tell her, her worth she can’t see it and is still there.
Yes you can make a million excuses for staying, for taking him back over and over, for putting up with his lying and cheating, for his disrespect and disregard for your feelings, but until you wake up and realize you are worth more, until enough is finally enough you will continue in this viscous cycle.
You need to love yourself, you need to know your self worth, you need to know that maybe you wont be eating filet mignon but now will be eating peanut butter sandwiches . I have to tell you peanut butter tastes so good with freedom!
Yes there will be a lot of changes and yes it will be hard, the one thing I’ve never done while writing this blog is lie to you I will always tell it like it is.
It will be hard, there will be days that you don’t think you will make it, you will cry yourself to sleep on more than one occasion.
I am here to try to tell you all of it, the good, the bad and even the ugly cry. But if reading this is helping you,it is all worth it.
There is nothing like the feeling of knowing who you are and knowing your self worth, knowing you can do this on your own and knowing you are a truly are a strong woman
If you need to find some friends who will encourage you, maybe you need to find a support group, find a therapist,go talk to your pastor, anything that will help you through.
You are in control of your life and let me tell you life is way to short to keep staying in a horrible relationship, be happy, be free, be the best you, you can be!
Stop making excuses, face your fears, you can do this, you got this! This will be the best decision you will ever make, I promise you!