I didn’t smell a rat…..
Sometimes this gift of writing is like a curse, there are times I don’t want to write about what has happened to me.
I am embarrassed that I allowed certain things to take place or held on for so long, or the things I have done in my past.
But I know God gave me this gift to help others and I must put my own ego aside and tell the …whole truth and nothing but the truth in order to help.
I have been through more than one person should have to endure in a life time but I guess it has all tested my faith to see if I could still go on and have a positive attitude.
When I was 15 my mom had cancer, my dad died, I was raped and as a virgin had to endure the heartache of having an abortion.
I lost my two best friends before I was 19 , I had a drug problem and a alcohol problem for years and a cheating ex fiancé.
I then met my ex husband who at first seemed to be Mr. wonderful but quickly turned into Mr. narrocist, Mr. controlling and the worlds biggest verbal abuser which I stood and took for twenty four years because I was afraid to lose my girls who I love more then life itself.
The last five years I was this horrible marriage I had an emotional affair with my high school sweetheart who when push came to shove couldn’t or wouldn’t step up.
I then fell for Mr. unattainable who pulled my chain, for almost two years before I realized he was just perfect on paper .
Then I think I met Mr. perfect, an old high school friend who I dated years ago and he says he’s always been in love with me , how all these years later he still wanted to be with me .
He wined and dined me. He bought me a fire pit because I said I missed my fireplace, he bought me a diamond butterfly because I have a tattoo for my mom with one on my foot.
He listened to all I said, he bought me flowers, he asked why I didn’t have a cross after recently being baptized, so he bought me one blessed by his priest.
He came to my church, he acted like he was interested in my religion.
He woo my kids, drove them places, made them breakfast, bought them gifts.
He told me how all the other men in my life never stepped up and here he was stepping up because he truly loved me.
He talked about a future , marriage, a house, merging of our two families. I was blown away I felt like a queen, I was head over heels for him, he was perfect and even though a lot of things didn’t seem to add up, I justified them.
I pushed them off, even when friends tried to tell me , I was happy, why weren’t they happy for me?
But then he kept pushing to get engaged, to get married and I kept praying about it but the more I prayed the more I felt my peace in my life disappear, I was unsettled but didn’t know why.
The Pandora’s box open with the appearance of his ex , he didn’t stand up for me , something was off, he said they hadn’t talked in 30 years yet he wouldn’t let me see the texts again a red flag.
Until last night when he was sleeping and his phone went off and I happened to see the text, I took his phone broke the code and started to read all the texts.
Well surprise to me, not only was he seeing his ex and telling her the same exact things he was saying to me but there were 3 other girls that he was seeing and telling the same things to !!
They talked about stuff being stolen, money being owed and surprise surprise my jewelry he bought me! I was shaking so much I could hardly hold the phone, I got my daughter in the car and took her to her dads then I came back woke him up by throwing his phone and banging him the head with it , I then threw his stuff in the street, all while saying more curse words then my ex husband said to me in 24 years!
Afterwards as I was taking off all the jewelry he had gave me, I realized that he stole the diamond cross he gave me! Ha a cross! I had to laugh because he will need that more than me!
I am telling you this story because there is someone out there right now reading this that your friends have warned you, there are red flags, something doesn’t feel right, 2 plus 2 doesn’t add up. .. you know your interwishion is screaming! Listen!! Run, cut your losses, get out now!
I will be okay I have my faith that will get me through, I have wonderful friends and family and I guess I needed another chapter in my book!
Remember you reap what you sow!