I want to thank you for hurting me…

I was watching Oprah the other day and her guest was Shirley McClain, Oprah asked her who helped her and inspired her most on her spiritual journey.


Her answer surprised me, she said the people that had hurt her the most, they were the ones who helped her the most.


Wow, that was an “Oprah light bulb moment for me, yes I knew exactly what she was talking about!


It is when you are at your lowest, in the most darkest of places that you learn the most. You learn to rely on yourself and your faith.


While I was in the mist of pain, I couldn’t see the lesson, I, like all of you couldn’t see past the next day, the next minute, it hurt so bad that you can’t see past the next second, it seems like the pain will never end.


For me as soon as I was hurt I did the one thing I have done that had kept me going through all my bad times, I prayed,yes I prayed for the strength to get through this, to help me see why this had happened, to help me through the pain.


As the days go by and your pain turns into anger, you start questioning your self, the person you trusted and maybe some people even question their faith. Why did this happen to me? How could I be so stupid? if there was a God how could he allow this to happen?


Eventually you let go of the anger and this is where most people will do one of two things, either they will carry the hurt and pain and they will become untrusting and bitter or they will look for the lesson in the situation. 


I always chose to look for the lesson that God wants me to learn, what can I take away from this hurt and pain, that will teach me something for the next time.


When I got divorced and I should have gotten alimony but didn’t and I was hurt. Why was it that after all these years that he got away with treating me so bad and here he was winning again? How could this be happening, I prayed, I go to church, I try to always do the right thing, it was so not fair!


When I got over myself and tried to look for a reason and a lesson,  I realized that God wanted me to truly be independent,  to believe I could do this, to be able to cut all ties with him, so that he would never again have anything to hold anything over my head and yet again he was right , I am so glad I can do this all on my own.


So what lessons did this teach me? at first I couldn’t see any, was I was too trusting? I believed the best of people, okay I am too native. 


No, I realized that the lessons were what I taught my daughters,that no matter what, you don’t need a lying, cheating man, there are no second chances, you don’t need a man who is not going to treat you like the queen you are.


I realized that I no longer needed a man to take care of me, to make me whole or complete me, I got this and I like myself too much to let anyone ever again treat me less than.


I realized my true purpose, to write and inspire others, to be a voice, to call out injustice and fight for others that don’t have the strength. My writing has never been better.


And finally to stop and listen to my inner voice, to feel one with my God and the universe and to know when something doesn’t feel right, its not, listen and then take action.Pray and then be quiet so that you might feel his presence. 


To know my faith can and will get me through anything life is going to throw at me, I needn’t worry because even in the darkest hours I knew I had my faith and I believed it would all be okay.


Yes, these are incredible lessons I needed to learn and I am truly grateful, so yes I want to thank you for lying, for cheating and for putting me through this pain, for without all of this I would have never learned these lessons.


Today look inside yourself,look at the people who have hurt you the most and then look for the lessons and thank them for helping you through your spiritual journey.