All things happen for a reason

I am a true believer in everything happens for a reason and never more so than yesterday when I received a friend request from someone that I never knew but would change my outlook on people forever. 

 

This women, as I came to find out, was a strong,  beautiful,  intelligent woman who also got caught in a web of lies.

She was yet another victim of a man who has no scruples and obviously no heart. 

 

I have come to know her and his wife though this horrible mess and can tell you that the lies one man can tell can hurt so many people and have such a ripple effect on others.

 

How does “a man” do this and still be able to look himself in the mirror each and every day is beyond me.

 

 How do you give a “a gift”  a cross, something that has such symbolism to one person, tell them you had it blessed by your Priest, then rip it off her neck in a fit of rage and  wrap it up and present it to another with the same story?

 

Then as you get caught in your lies,on your way out the door, you steal back your “gift” and give it back to the first person yet again with an apology?

 

Yes, you did not read this wrong, people I can not make this up!

 

It is incomprehensibly, you are shaking your heads just as we were when we were speaking yesterday. Who does this kind of thing? 

 

Who breaks multiple women’s hearts and not think twice about the pain he causes,  you can’t imagine that because no sane person would ever do something like this. 

 

It blows my mind how intelligent, self supporting women can fall prey to a man like this…but it seems like there is a pattern, just coming out of a horrible relationship, low self esteem, wanting to be wooed, needing someone to say all the things you’ve longed to hear. 

 

Yes, these type of con men know your weak spots and play right into them . They make you think that they can’t live without you and that the world revolves around you until your head is spinning and BAM!! they got you.

 

It is only then that you start to see the red flags and choose to ignore them because at this point you are so in love, you no longer can see straight. 

 

But yes there are signs, there are nagging feelings you can get rid of, the are things that don’t add up but you again choose to make excuses for them and for him.

 

At this point one of two things happens, you either run through the red flags while they are slapping you in the face and pretend they are not there or you realize that all of these nagging signs are real and you dig deeper to find out the truth knowing that staying in this relationship it will only get worst.

 

I am not a better women because I ran away at the first sign of his sickness, No,I was just at a different place in my life, I knew what I had just came out of and I knew that I would never go back again.

 

I would never let a man treat me like less than again! I was determined to have learned my lesson the first time and not repeat the same mistakes twice.

 

 I also had my girls, that I love more than life, to think of, they saw 16 years of a man treating me like crap, what did I teach them? And now that I was out what did I want to teach them from this?

 

So no, I was not a better women, I was just in a better place to walk away.

You need to know your worth and you need to take a stand and not allow someone to treat you less than. 

Even if that means you will be alone, its okay.

 

I am so blessed that this has happened to me and have wrote about it before, I have met two wonderful women, I have become now more than ever a loud voice for injustice.  I will continue to speak out and help pull up women from their self depreciation, to constantly tell them they are worthy and that they can do anything they set their minds to.

 

I will not stop until we all hear, see and feel the warning signs and are able to run away on our own, until then I will be here to help you and even carry you if I have to, to be the best you can be.