Life is too short you need to forgive. .

Life is way to short, you must forgive the people in your life, you never know what tomorrow will bring.

We have all done and said things to our loved ones that we regretted, that if we could have, we would have gone back in time to take back.

 

I posted something yesterday that said your words cut more than a knife. I know this for a fact, I know how it feels to be on the receiving end of that knife, so that has made me very careful of my words to everyone in my life, I chose my words carefully so that I never hurt others as I was hurt.

 

Look we all make mistakes, we all screw up, we all say or do things in anger and then what happens is, we are ashamed, we are too proud to say we are sorry, we know we are right, we will not give in and so weeks , months and years go by with both people not waiting to give in.

 

My mother was my best friend and a wonderful mother yet she did some things that hurt me to the core, she told me to suck it up, she said I could never make it on my own when I came to her to pour my heart out that I was dying in my marriage. 

 

How does your own mother say that she didn’t think you could make it?

The hurt was beyond words and yes I was pissed, we didn’t speak for a while, when I realized she is my mother and no she is not perfect, she only knew what she was taught, she also didn’t have a handbook to raise a child, they don’t come with one, we are all winging it!

 

We do some incredible things and we screw up big time. Look at where this coming from, how was that person raised?  My grandmother was a bitter, mean women, my mother couldn’t talk to her about anything, in her generation, you sucked it up, you didn’t talk about things, there was none of this touchy feely thing!

 

They survived wars, depressions, no food, lack of everything, they were tough. 

 

Maybe your parents were Bi polar,  maybe they drank, maybe they were raised with no affection,  these are a few of the reasons that they might have done or said certain things.

 

My mom could talk about anything that wasn’t personal, I never came to her with boy problems, deep issues, hell after I was raped and she took me to get the abortion when we were going home she said “okay this is done, we shall never talk of this again” like dusting it under the rug was going to make it go away or make it all better.

 

 That is how she coped with things. Yes I was upset and  hurt, I needed to talk, I was young  and scared but she could not, I cannot hate her or be angry for skills she didn’t process.  

 

So I forgave her, she was my mother, she did the best she knew how to, that is all she could.

 

Maya Angelo who just pasted away was one of my favorite authors she use to say “when you know better, you do better” 

 

 

That is perfect,because maybe your mom was a baby when she had you, she didn’t know how to raise herself yet alone a baby, maybe now knowing the things she does, she would have done  it differently. 

 

You need to forgive, you need to let it go, you never know when life is going to end, look my mom was healthy and one day she was here and the next she was gone, now if I was still angry with her , I would have missed all the times up until she died. 

 

I would have had regrets for the rest of my life, I would have wished things could have been different. 

 

Don’t let fights, words or anger get to you and keep you away from the ones you love.

Say your sorry, forgive, except an apology, you will never know if this might be the last day you see them.

 

Live life with no regrets!

 

Www.beachbodycoach.com/treadmilltreats

 

www.treadmilltreats.wordpress.com 

When you refuse to look at your life, you might as well be blind..

When you refuse to see what’s in front of you, you might as well be blind.

 

There are so many people out there today they refuse to see what’s going on in their life. They choose to close their eyes and pretend it’s not happening.

 

Pull the covers over your head and maybe it will go away,its called being a grown up for a reason, you have to grow up, you cant pretend it doesn’t exist.

 

We know that only works when you’re 5 years old,you have to grow up and face reality whatever it is, its your reality to face.

 

I can’t hide from my reality because I put it out there each and everyday for everyone else in the world to see.

 

 There is no hiding from the truth in my life, I choose you write about, you can’t be afraid if its out there, there are no secrets if you tell them first, but yet so many people chose to still be blind.

 

There’s the friend who kids are out of control but they are still saying”not my kid, they would never do that”

 I am first to say probably was my kid, sounds like something I would do when I was that age!

 

The women you know who’s addictive to pills, who’s life is out of control, who doesn’t remember what happened yesterday or the week before because she is too stoned to be part of reality, yet when friends try to help, she refuses to see she has a problem.

 

The friend that cant get through the day without a drink, she hides it and sneaks it, hoping no one will know. I put it out there, I had a drinking and drug problem yes I did! I am not afraid someone will find out, its out!

 

The women who believed a lying, cheating man, who opened up and was taken advantage of but cant tell anyone because she feels stupid, what will everyone think? 

Guess what it happen to me and I chose to tell my story to help others, learn a lesson and move on. 

 

Or the mother who refuses to see the damage her child is causing in so many people’s lives, yet still justifies his behavior even though his behavior is the same now as a “grown” man as it was when he was 17. She chooses to be blind even when presented with the facts over and over.

 

It doesn’t matter what you are trying to hide, to put in the back of that closet, it will be coming to get you eventually, your secrets will be out and then what? Will the world stop? Is it the end of man kind? No, it will sting, just like pulling a band aid off, it will sting for a minute then its over.

 

Then you no longer will have to hid, you will no longer look over your shoulder, no longer worry, its out there its over.

 

Now, here’s the big thing, what lessons did you learn? Whenever something happens in my life that is the first question I ask, then how can I change and how can I help others?

 

Yes, we all have things we would rather not look at and yes its scary but hiding will never make it go away or make it better, open your eyes, own your truth, its amazing how beautiful the world looks when you do!

 

Www.beachbodycoach.com/treadmilltreats

 

www.treadmilltreats.wordpress.com

When you refuse to look at your life, you might as well be blind..

When you refuse to see what’s in front of you, you might as well be blind.

 

There are so many people out there today they refuse to see what’s going on in their life. They choose to close their eyes and pretend it’s not happening.

 

Pull the covers over your head and maybe it will go away,its called being a grown up for a reason, you have to grow up, you cant pretend it doesn’t exist.

 

We know that only works when you’re 5 years old,you have to grow up and face reality whatever it is, its your reality to face.

 

I can’t hide from my reality because I put it out there each and everyday for everyone else in the world to see.

 

 There is no hiding from the truth in my life, I choose you write about, you can’t be afraid if its out there, there are no secrets if you tell them first, but yet so many people chose to still be blind.

 

There’s the friend who kids are out of control but they are still saying”not my kid, they would never do that”

 I am first to say probably was my kid, sounds like something I would do when I was that age!

 

The women you know who’s addictive to pills, who’s life is out of control, who doesn’t remember what happened yesterday or the week before because she is too stoned to be part of reality, yet when friends try to help, she refuses to see she has a problem.

 

The friend that cant get through the day without a drink, she hides it and sneaks it, hoping no one will know. I put it out there, I had a drinking and drug problem yes I did! I am not afraid someone will find out, its out!

 

The women who believed a lying, cheating man, who opened up and was taken advantage of but cant tell anyone because she feels stupid, what will everyone think? 

Guess what it happen to me and I chose to tell my story to help others, learn a lesson and move on. 

 

Or the mother who refuses to see the damage her child is causing in so many people’s lives, yet still justifies his behavior even though his behavior is the same now as a “grown” man as it was when he was 17. She chooses to be blind even when presented with the facts over and over.

 

It doesn’t matter what you are trying to hide, to put in the back of that closet, it will be coming to get you eventually, your secrets will be out and then what? Will the world stop? Is it the end of man kind? No, it will sting, just like pulling a band aid off, it will sting for a minute then its over.

 

Then you no longer will have to hid, you will no longer look over your shoulder, no longer worry, its out there its over.

 

Now, here’s the big thing, what lessons did you learn? Whenever something happens in my life that is the first question I ask, then how can I change and how can I help others?

 

Yes, we all have things we would rather not look at and yes its scary but hiding will never make it go away or make it better, open your eyes, own your truth, its amazing how beautiful the world looks when you do!

 

Www.beachbodycoach.com/treadmilltreats

 

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Sex and the city ….Today

I have to tell you dating today compared to twenty five years ago is so different, the last few years I have had so many changes it has made my head spin.

 

Illness, deaths, divorce, career changes, and yes dating,  all which have been hard and scary but it is always how you look at things, is it a burden or a blessing? its up to you to chose how you see it.

 

I always chose to see the good and with dating I chose to see the funny and then share with my friends.

 

All of my friends said try online dating, since we never had this years ago and I am not into the bar scene and have a full and busy life, I thought why not, another change in my life, lets give it a shot.  

 

Let’s start with Mr . Italian who asked me if I was Italian (what my name Francesca didn’t give that away?) Then he asked if I was ever beaten with a spoon? ( was he really Italian, cause if he was that was a requirement of a Italian mother) I said yes, then he asked if I ever hit my girls with a wooden spoon (did you not get the last part? I am now wondering if he was a little slow)

 

Here it comes but because I haven’t dated in 24 years I don’t see it coming. 

He then asks if I could beat him with the wooden spoon! What?? Did he just write that to me? 

DELETE!

 

Next thing I learned always read everything in a profile, take Mr.Sneak things in his likes on his profile had about 100 and I am not joking!

 

 I glanced through them and wrote him back, he asks did I read his profile, I say yes he says did you catch it? Catch what? I say. The whip and chains part…. really I can’t make this shit up!

 

No, I didn’t catch that part, after all didn’t you get the previous part about having a life and not having tine to read 100 things someone likes to do, obviously the whips and chains weren’t in bold letters!

 

He goes on to say, he is just looking to have fun,  I say then why is your profile saying you want a relationship?why dont you list that your a freak looking for a one night stand and not waste everyone’s time?

He goes on to tell me I am a prude and close minded! Ha!wait… listen to this… DELETE!!

 

My girlfriend started chatting with  this guy when out of the blue he texts her his ass! Yes a picture of his ass! She doesn’t skip a beat and texts by why are you sending me a picture of your ass? Does it look better than your face?he writes back lol, really? Yup you guessed it DELETE and go ahead guess his new name… Yup you guessed that too Mr.Assman!

 

We have names and stories for all the guys that we have encountered, which we decided that we are going to write a book about it! We would love to hear your stories as I know in this age of technology there has to be plenty!

 

Look dont be a man hater, dont think there is no good men out there, that they are all freaks, have fun with it, call your girlfriend have a really good laugh in the morning on your way to work like I do! Laughter is the best medicine, at least get something good out of it!

 

Don’t take life so seriously, enjoy , laugh and then write a blog about it! Gotta love where I get all my ideas from!

 

Gotta run, Mr.Dallas is texting me!

 

www.beachbodycoach.com/treadmilltreats

 

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What is your purpose?

From now on Monday mornings will be Monday message, these blogs will be something that I have learned from my Bishop Henry Fernandez sermons on Sundays.

Every week he gives us such a powerful word and I will try as I may to pass on his words of wisdom.

 

 

What is your purpose?

 

Finding your purpose will change the course of your life, it will ignite the fire in you to live out your God giving purpose.

 

When you are living out your purpose is fun when your doing that, it is then when you will realize this is your purpose. 

 

You passion drives your purpose!

 

The worst thing is to try to find your purpose in things,you think that if they have a certain career, or a certain title, then they will have it.

 

I have a friend of mine who went to law school, past the bar and became a lawyer to realize she hated it, she went back to school and became a teacher, that was her passion, her calling, she has never looked looked back. Yes she makes alot leas money, yes some say its a less prestigious job, but it is what she is called to do, it fills her soul.

 

Some of us think the title and money is what its all about but is it worth it, worth selling your soul to go to a place every day you call “Hell” A place you hate ? Is that Prada purse worth it?

 

Some people try to find in others, in relationships, you are hoping that another person will fulfill you or that that they will point you to your gift, that their opinions change your path, because they don’t think you can do it.

You are never going to find it there. 

 

My ex always told I couldn’t do anything, that “he was the bread winner” in the family, I was useless, I only wrote because I was dying inside and for years I couldn’t tell anyone about what I was going through, so I wrote, my gift saved my life for without it I surly would have lost my mind.

 

Never leave it up to people to tell you who you are!

 

 You need to know your own worth, your own purpose!

We need to find out what our purpose is and to live out a life that should be filled with joy. 

 

So you ask what do people get from their hard work?

They get passion, they get to go to job that doesn’t feel like one, they get to do something that fills them with joy, that is what you get for finding your purpose and working hard at it.

 

Even though you cant see the scope of God’s work from beginning to end, it is there. 

 

There is nothing better than to be happy and enjoy ourselves as long as we can.

 

 

People should eat and drink and enjoy the fruits of their labor for these are the gifts from God.

 

If you are not sure of your purpose,  look at the things your running away from, that is usually the thing that is your purpose. 

 

 And sometimes the disasters in our life make us come back to our purpose, make us rethink the what are we here for question.

 

So think about what you love to do, that fills you with joy, that you would do if money wasn’t an issue, if time flies while your doing it, that my friend is your God given purpose. 

 

Take a leap of faith and go after it, you will never regret it.

 

www.beachbodycoach.com/treadmilltreats

 

www.treadmilltreats.wordpress.com

 

When I am in New York all bets are off

The one thing I am is honest and I will always tell you how it is, I will never sugar coat it, I am not Willy Wonker!

I am human, I want you to know how hard it is sometimes but how the effort is so worth it.

 

So when I became a beachbody coach and I started the 21 day fix I told you how when I first got the containers I thought I was going to stare to death. 

 

Surprisingly I didn’t feel hungry and the containers were that small when you put them on a plate. 

 

I told you about the 30 minute a day of exercise and how after the first week my whole body hurt.

 

But if you read my blog, you know I am only human and I fall, well my hometown is my down fall every time.

 

For the whole 17 days I was good, even when my friends came in from New York and they ate fried foods , I ordered fish and salad, okay I did have some beers (did you just miss the I’m not perfect part?)

 

For the most part I was on track, but last weekends trip to New York was the end of me, sorry all bets are off when I go home!

 

I am and will always be a New Yorker, I love the city, the fast pace, the oddball people but I especially love the food and I so miss it living here in Florida. 

 

So your asking if you love it so much why are you living in Florida then?

The cold and snow, New York gets global warming and I will be the first one packing my car to go back but until then I make due with my twice yearly visits. 

 

So since I only get there twice a year I try to eat all that I miss from home, yes I ate and not from those tiny containers, no I ate New York style big!

 

I ate dirty water dogs and knishes from a sidewalk vendor, I ate a pastrami sandwich on rye with matoz ball soup in Katzs deli, I ate Chinese  food in China town, I ate pizza at Rays, I ate an incredible Italian sub on homemade Italian bread and roasted red peppers at Alveros, I ate conlollis at Ferreras and for Mothers day I have White castle, yes I ate! 

 

On my defense I also walked about 600 blocks, no lie I have a daughter who loves to shop! Did I feel guilty or beat my self up, oh Hell no, you only live once, this might have been my last trip to New York, I could have got hit by a bus, you are not guaranteed another day, I live my life like its my last day, enjoying every minute of it#

 

No I enjoyed the food, my daughter and my family and then when I came back I jumped right back to eating right and right back on this treadmill!

 

We all screw up, we all fall down but its how you get up that counts, its how you don’t quit even when you get kicked to the curb, its not how you start but how you finish!

 

So stop beating yourself up , there’s always tomorrow to set things right, enjoy life, you only get one go around. 

 

Www.beachbodycoach.com/treadmilltreats

 

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How can you look yourself in mirror

It amazes me the way some people behave, how do you look at yourself in the mirror and think its okay?

Does it make you feel better, does it make you a bigger person by putting others down?

 

How can you threaten or hold things over others heads to make sure you always have control and the upper hand?

 

Why must you show the world a perfectly painted picture on the outside and yet you are a dictator on the inside?

 

What are you so afraid of that you can’t change even at the risk of losing your family, your children?

 

Do you think they are going to stay after you no longer have anything to hold over them? Do you think they will stay when your constantly belittling them, telling them they are worth less and will never make it?

 

You obviously have no clue, see because while you were tearing them down , I was building them up, I was telling them they could do anything, that they are not “fuck ups” as you call them, that they might have Fucked up but that is by no means who they are or are going to be. 

 

They are teenagers, they will make mistakes, do things we don’t a prove of, that is not who they will be all of their lives. No I will continue to tell them that they are beautiful, smart, kind, self sufficient women at all times even when they have not made the right choices.

 

I will be here for them, I will never cut them out of my life because they don’t do what I want, I will not bring up their past sins and throw it in their faces every time we get into a fight.

 

 I will be here to let them know we all make mistakes, ask them what they learned and tell them to forgive themselves and others and move on.

 

I will continue to teach them to be kind to others, to lift people up, to help others , to be a blessing to everyone. 

 

I will show them to stand up for themselves, not to put up with a lying, cheating , disrespectful man, to know their self worth and the value of it.

 

Yes, I will be here building them up and God help you if you continue to do what you are doing because one day you will wake up a lonely, miserable man because no one could ever measure up to your standards but you. 

 

Until that day comes, my girls will know I am their biggest cheer leader, I will be their mom and I will love them and be here for them when they fall as well as when the succeed, I will love them unconditional always….

 

www.beachbodycoach.com/treadmill treats

 

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Your words no longer have any effect on me

For twenty four years I let your words effect my life, I let your words shape my life and my feelings. 

I let what you thought about me effect my every waking moment.

 

I so wanted to please you , I put my own feelings away to try to make you happy at the expense of my own happiness. 

 

I would have done anything for you and almost killed myself trying, for twenty four years I cried because I couldn’t figure out the magic potion to make you happy. 

 

How many times did I write in my journal,  dear god, what am I doing wrong? why can’t I make him happy ? 

 

Every thing I did was not right, I couldn’t cook right, clean right what was I stupid,  I heard a million times.

 

By the end I knew your rant per baton

 “how stupid are you? Do you know I am the bread winner in this house? You do nothing! Your useless!  You would be nothing without me! You can’t make it in your own, you’d be living in a box without me taking care of you”

 

Yes, hateful words that at one point brought me to my knees and cut me to my core. Words that I believed, that I thought were true and were me.

 

I had forgotten the strong, smart, independent women I once was. The women who could do anything and wasn’t afraid to try, when did I turn into this shell of a person? When did I turn over the power to someone else? 

 

When I let someones words effect me, that is when.

 

But now you fail to realize, I am no longer that scared, afraid, timid women anymore, No! I am strong, I know I can do anything, I know I no longer need anymore to take care of me, I am good, I know my worth, I don’t need validation from anyone because I love myself. 

 

Now your words no longer effect me, I realize that it is you that is small and petty, you need to built yourself up by putting others down to feel like a real man.

 

You need the world to see a fake life when the inside is falling apart, so that you can feel good.

You need to be in control of everything and everyone and if you can’t you mke people feel worthless, just to lift yourself up.

 

I realize this has always been your problem not mine, your issue that had nothing to do with me or how hard I tried or loved you, it would never be good enough for you. 

 

Your words no longer effect me, say what you want to now, I can hang up, I can walk away,  I know and I truly feel sorry for you as you will never be filled with the peace and joy I feel in my life because nothing is ever enough for you.

 

I know who I am… your words mean nothing to me.

 

www.beachbodycoach.com/treadmilltreats

 

 

Living life to the fullest

The other day someone posted on my pictures “wow, you sure do enjoy life” I stopped and thought about it and realized that yes, I truly do enjoy my life to the fullest. 

 

I guess it takes being miserable for so many years and then the sudden loss of my mother to put things into perspective, that life is too short and that you must live it!

 

I remember years ago one day while I was watching Oprah, here was this guest who had to keep her house perfect, all of the kids dolls had to face a certain way, toys had to be put back in order. 

 

She spent most of her day cleaning and making sure it was just so, when Oprah asked her so when you are gone do you think your kids are going to have wonderful memories of your clean house or how you spent time with them.

 

That was my “ah ha” moment, I was that women, I was more worried about how my house looked, what my husband thought than enjoying my girls, at that moment I decided to enjoy life, so when my girls said” mommy can we go to the park, or we feel like going to the beach, I left the house, because it will be there later, but this time with my girls is too short, they grow up too fast and I wanted to be present in the moment with them.

 

I chose not to work, to stay home with them not to keep my house clean but to be there with them, so that they would have wonderful memories of us doing things together not of how clean their house was.

 

I left my marriage after my mom passed away and I made a promise to myself that I would no longer wake up and cry because I was so sad, I would no longer live a lie, I would enjoy every second, I would be grateful for every day God has given me, I would tell my family and friends how much I love them.

 

If my family or my friends come to town, yes I drop everything to spend tine with them why? Is my laundry more important? What I can’t do errands next week? I want to see them, spend time with them its not all about work, cleaning or all the other stuff that goes along with that, its about memories, the love , the laughter, the good times you share with the people you love, that is what life is truly about.

 

I love my life and I want to enjoy every second of it, so yes I am going to continue to live life large,  I am going leave the dishes in the sink and laugh my way all the way to to the beach. 

 

Www.beachbodycoach.com/treadmilltreats

 

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My miracle, fifteen years ago

Yes I believe in miracles and I can say that because 15 years ago God gave me one, my daughter Sarah.

 

I had suffered with endometriosis for years, the doctors didn’t think I could get pregnant the first time, let alone the second time and yet here I was thinking I had another cyst and finding out I was pregnant.

 

I was in the doctors office when he came in and say “I got some good new and some bad news, bad news is you have a huge cyst that needs to come out, then good news is that your pregnant”

 

I was floored, I couldn’t be pregnant I was still getting my period, this was crazy. The doctors needed to do surgery right away because the cyst was growing so fast and they didn’t know if it was cancer.

 

If it was cancer as fast as it was growing I wouldn’t survive the nine months, so we scheduled the surgery right away.

 

I was in surgery the following week, I was four months pregnant and scared as hell. 

 

The day of surgery they rolled me into the operating room and they tied my hands down to the table, then they proceed to rub my stomach with the red iodine solution, they pulled over the cart with all the the tools and my doctor walked in scrubbed up and ready to go, he says “scalpel” that’s when I yelled “Hello, doctor you can knock me out any time now!” What the Hell? was he going to do surgery while I was awake?

 

They had to wait until the very last moment to put me under because they didn’t want the baby to have so much analgesics.They finally put me under and then they cut me open , moved the baby over and cut out the cyst which was now as big as a grapefruit.

 

I woke up six hours later and ended up recovering for ten days in the hospital, I was on bed rest for the rest of the pregnancy, the doctors weren’t sure  if I would keep this pregnancy as there was so much stress on the baby, but they didn’t have much hope.

 

Now having a 2 year old and having to be on bed rest for 6 months was rough enough besides worrying that I might not carry this baby to term was a lot of stress on a person. 

 

But I wanted this child so much, I prayed every day that I could carry this child to term, I didn’t want my other daughter to be an only child.

 

God answered my prayers and gave me my miracle child nine months later, on May 5, cinco de mayo she made her grand entrance. 

I named her Sarah after my great grandma , she was 6 lbs 6 oz and had big blue eyes, from day one she smiled and was happy to be here.

 

She slept through the night and was an old soul right from the beginning and her sister and her bonded as though they were twins.

 

Time flies and the days of mommy , mommy watch me are long gone, instead here stands before me is a beautiful, kind, smart young women who I am so very proud of.

 

I look forward to many wonderful years watching her grow into an adult, until then I am and will be always be  externally grateful for my miracle child. 

 

I love you with all my heart and soul Sarah Jordan.