Living life to the fullest

The other day someone posted on my pictures “wow, you sure do enjoy life” I stopped and thought about it and realized that yes, I truly do enjoy my life to the fullest. 


I guess it takes being miserable for so many years and then the sudden loss of my mother to put things into perspective, that life is too short and that you must live it!


I remember years ago one day while I was watching Oprah, here was this guest who had to keep her house perfect, all of the kids dolls had to face a certain way, toys had to be put back in order. 


She spent most of her day cleaning and making sure it was just so, when Oprah asked her so when you are gone do you think your kids are going to have wonderful memories of your clean house or how you spent time with them.


That was my “ah ha” moment, I was that women, I was more worried about how my house looked, what my husband thought than enjoying my girls, at that moment I decided to enjoy life, so when my girls said” mommy can we go to the park, or we feel like going to the beach, I left the house, because it will be there later, but this time with my girls is too short, they grow up too fast and I wanted to be present in the moment with them.


I chose not to work, to stay home with them not to keep my house clean but to be there with them, so that they would have wonderful memories of us doing things together not of how clean their house was.


I left my marriage after my mom passed away and I made a promise to myself that I would no longer wake up and cry because I was so sad, I would no longer live a lie, I would enjoy every second, I would be grateful for every day God has given me, I would tell my family and friends how much I love them.


If my family or my friends come to town, yes I drop everything to spend tine with them why? Is my laundry more important? What I can’t do errands next week? I want to see them, spend time with them its not all about work, cleaning or all the other stuff that goes along with that, its about memories, the love , the laughter, the good times you share with the people you love, that is what life is truly about.


I love my life and I want to enjoy every second of it, so yes I am going to continue to live life large,  I am going leave the dishes in the sink and laugh my way all the way to to the beach.



My miracle, fifteen years ago

Yes I believe in miracles and I can say that because 15 years ago God gave me one, my daughter Sarah.


I had suffered with endometriosis for years, the doctors didn’t think I could get pregnant the first time, let alone the second time and yet here I was thinking I had another cyst and finding out I was pregnant.


I was in the doctors office when he came in and say “I got some good new and some bad news, bad news is you have a huge cyst that needs to come out, then good news is that your pregnant”


I was floored, I couldn’t be pregnant I was still getting my period, this was crazy. The doctors needed to do surgery right away because the cyst was growing so fast and they didn’t know if it was cancer.


If it was cancer as fast as it was growing I wouldn’t survive the nine months, so we scheduled the surgery right away.


I was in surgery the following week, I was four months pregnant and scared as hell. 


The day of surgery they rolled me into the operating room and they tied my hands down to the table, then they proceed to rub my stomach with the red iodine solution, they pulled over the cart with all the the tools and my doctor walked in scrubbed up and ready to go, he says “scalpel” that’s when I yelled “Hello, doctor you can knock me out any time now!” What the Hell? was he going to do surgery while I was awake?


They had to wait until the very last moment to put me under because they didn’t want the baby to have so much analgesics.They finally put me under and then they cut me open , moved the baby over and cut out the cyst which was now as big as a grapefruit.


I woke up six hours later and ended up recovering for ten days in the hospital, I was on bed rest for the rest of the pregnancy, the doctors weren’t sure  if I would keep this pregnancy as there was so much stress on the baby, but they didn’t have much hope.


Now having a 2 year old and having to be on bed rest for 6 months was rough enough besides worrying that I might not carry this baby to term was a lot of stress on a person. 


But I wanted this child so much, I prayed every day that I could carry this child to term, I didn’t want my other daughter to be an only child.


God answered my prayers and gave me my miracle child nine months later, on May 5, cinco de mayo she made her grand entrance. 

I named her Sarah after my great grandma , she was 6 lbs 6 oz and had big blue eyes, from day one she smiled and was happy to be here.


She slept through the night and was an old soul right from the beginning and her sister and her bonded as though they were twins.


Time flies and the days of mommy , mommy watch me are long gone, instead here stands before me is a beautiful, kind, smart young women who I am so very proud of.


I look forward to many wonderful years watching her grow into an adult, until then I am and will be always be  externally grateful for my miracle child. 


I love you with all my heart and soul Sarah Jordan.