The reasoning behind catfishing

TGIF Treadmill Treats

The reasoning behind catfishing…

Yesterday me and my bestie were talking about dating, okay we were trading war stories and laughing our ass’s off.

This is our morning ritual to start the day off in laughter and a lot of the time its about our latest dating fiasco.

Yes, we had them all Mr. Beat me with a spoon (delete!) Mr.Whips and chains (delete!) Mr.Send you a picture of my ass (?? Wtf ? delete, delete!!) Mr.Racist (delete!) And our all time dirt bag Mr.Con Artist (kicked to the curb literally and permanent deleted !!)

Oh yes we have dated some winners without the chicken dinners!

Well, in between I have been catfished and for those of you that don’t know what that means ask your teenagers!
There is a show on Mtv called Catfished, about people that go online and they steal someone else photos, they make a bio or steal that too and then they contact you pretending to be that person.

Our question yesterday was why? Do you not have a life? Okay dumb question, obviously not!They are stealing someone else’s!

But really why? Why would you lead another person on like that? For what benefit? Eventuality they are going to want to meet you and then what?
My first time I didn’t know, me and this guy texted and emailed back and forth, he told me all about his so called life and I told him mine.

This went on a few weeks, then I wanted to meet and we had plans to meet and he suddenly deletes his profile and his number is gone??

Next catfish, I was more wise and when I asked what church he went to there was a pause for a few minutes then he proceeds to give me the full address. I don’t know about you but I’ve been going to my church for 3 years I couldn’t tell the the full address if my life depended on it! Then he says he went to collage in Miami I ask which one there are a lot , he says Miami ?? Remember when I taught you about red flags? Run Forrest Run these are them!

Now I can spot them mile away, delete!
but our question still is why? Why play with someone else emotions? Do they get a thrill? Is it for fun?
(For the con artist its a way of life , we get that) but for the others my question is why?

Look I always look at the bright side , okay I was taken in not once but twice.
(I am a little slow, hello! Read my blogs and you would know this!)

For me this is material for my blog and more fuel to add to our morning laughter sessions! We will go on a little wiser and a little more cautious but still with a open heart because that is who we are and besides we know we are some incredible, smart, funny, beautiful women, their loss! NEXT!!

So today my friends, see the red flags, know your self worth then run like hell laughing all the way!!

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Its amazing how time changes everything

Thursday Treadmill Treats

It’s amazing how time changes things. ..

Yesterday I didn’t go to the gym, yes I am human and I was feeling that tired and my bed felt that good that I rolled over and skipped out.

By the time I woke up it was late and I had to go to work, so no time to write my blog, now I write this 5 days a week and I know I am blessed enough to have people follow me, so I feel guilty if I don’t do it.
(one day soon I will get paid just to do this and won’t have to punch a clock and can sleep in past that ungodly hour of 5 am!)

Yesterday I cheated, I ran an best of blog, okay shoot me! Did you miss the part of me only being human?

Anyway when I reread it, I’ve realized how much I’ve grown as a writer. I was impressed with myself , not that it was horrible, but I have gotten deeper, I now know my purpose and I think that helps, it flows now as I know this is what I was born to do.

Even my thinking has changed, when someone asks me what I do, I no longer say first that I am a professional organizer, I say I am a writer, I write a blog and I have my first book coming out soon. That is who I am now , I know that with every once of who I am.

I am even much better with my grammar, you will be happy to hear that my dear friend Grammar Natzi, yes I have grown in every way.

But what really amazed me the most was even back then, while I was in the mist of my storm, still married, lost and broken, I talked about hope and faith, I mentioned my Ny Times bestseller, even then I was grateful and gave thanks. I spoke it into the atmosphere and believe it even then.

That shocked me, how much faith I had in my darkest hour, that I still beleived that things would turn around. Wow that is huge, how many of you give up hope its bad and say it always will be this way or you say everything in my life sucks, you don’t give thanks for the blessings you do have?

But here I was dying inside yet I had hope and faith and I was praising God for what I did have, yes I have faith now , I am happy and at peace but to realize that I always had this strong faith makes my faith that much stronger!

So today my friends even when you are in your darkest hours,pray, praise, hope believe… because I am living proof that things will get better, that prayers do come true…

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I refuse to settle

Special Sunday Treadmill Treats:
I refuse to settle

After a weekend of hanging out with a wonderful bunch of women that I am blessed to have in my life, I have come to the conclusion that I will no longer settle.

I have come way to far in my life to settle for a man that’s not perfect for me,wait before you go off on me, I did not say perfect, I said perfect for me, big difference.

There is no perfect person and I am as far from perfect as they come, so just so you know that I am not living in la la land. I am not asking for anything unreasonable, like he has to be 6′ blond, 200 lbs, with muscles,blue eyes, make at least 600,000 a year, drive a 750 BMW and be a Virgo.

Don’t laugh I know some women with this list and they will not bulge (well, good luck to them) No, that is unrealistic, but… there are a few things on my list that are non negotiable.

I will not settle for a man who does not have God first and formost in his life,my religion has saved my life,literally and my faith and my church are the biggest part of my life. I will not sell my soul for a man with money and lose myself, I’ve been there done that for 24 years, never again.

I will no longer settle for broken, unreliable men, no I am not here to fix you, you need to work out your issues before you start a relationship.
I took 2 years to work on mine, I had to own my part in my failed marriage, figure out what I needed to fix, you must have taken this journey by yourself, don’t bring them into the next relationship, same problems, same end result.

I will not be your mother, I’ve raised two kids not looking to do that again, be a grown up.

I will not settle for a lying, cheating or deceitful man. No I deserve to have a man love me enough and love me completely just as I will do for him.

I will not settle for a man who will disrespect me, no I now know my self worth, I am worthy of being treated like the queen I am, just as I would never disrespect you, you will do the same.

I want someone with a kind heart, that is compassionate, that is close to his family and is there for his friends. Someone who knows his finances and at 50 is not living paycheck to paycheck , sorry I did that at 20, we are not 20 anymore.

Someone who is funny, (funny is the new sexy) who can laugh at themselves and the world, who has your back and will “let you crash their party” like that Luke Byron song he, would drop everything to be with me, that I come second after God to him.

Someone who cares enough about himself to be in shape and exercises, enjoys the outdoors, someone who is a blessing to others.

Is this such a unrealistic list I ask you?
Isn’t this what human beings should be?
Not looking to get over or hurt someone else? Am I asking for too much?

Doesn’t matter, this is my list, make your own… I refuse to settle I know what kind of women I am, I will love you until the end of time, I will be your biggest cheerleader, I will have your back , I would fight the world for your honor. I will be there to help you, I would even carry you if you fall. I will be your partner 100% , give my all, care about your feelings, will always be honest and faithful.

All I ask is the same in return that’s all and if I can not find someone who is willing to give as much as I am well than I am just fine being by myself because I refuse to settle.

So I am putting it out there, these are the the conditions and the deal breakers, so be it!

So today my friends think long and hard,are you settling because your lonely, because you can’t live without someone in your life? So you are settling for half a man or women. Don’t settle know your worth and take nothing less!

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A blast from your past…

When you haven’t spoken to someone in years and then they show back up in your like, its like a blast from your past.
It seems amazing when they comes back into your life, all of a sudden all these memories come flooding back.

Some bad, some good, some watered down and some forgotten. You forgot the reason why you are no longer together, you search your memory and you laugh because even after all this time past, they can still make you laugh.

One sentence can transport right back to a time when you were young and you were happy.It brings a smile to your face remembering that sweet moment.

Yes, last night I was transported back to my 21st birthday, how happy I was, how cocky I was thinking that I had the world by the balls and I was invincible.
Ahhh… yes these were the days… young and in love, the world at your feet.
The spontaneous things you did the Christmas’s you spent together, the romance, the laughs, the plans you made…

Then life throws you a curve ball and yet again the rug is pulled out from under you and you are not sure which way is up, you are scared and you run because that is what you know how to do, you don’t have the skills to stand and fight.

Remember my favorite saying “when you know better, you do better” You didn’t know better, you were hurt and you retreated, right or wrong, it is what you did. At the time it was the right thing to do but looking bad with old eyes… maybe not so much.

You realize when your grown, that it takes work, that you don’t run when things aren’t your way or when things get tough, you dig in and you fight but when your young, well, you know none of this.

These things shape your life, these memories make you who you are and who you become.These are lessons you learn hopefully and you learn from them in the next relationship.

Your fault, my fault who knows… all that matters was that this person touched your heart, was a huge part of your life and where you are today and you are truly grateful for it all.

So today, I am here to say I am sorry for all I did, I am sorry for any pain I may have caused you and I want to thank you for being there in my time of need, for teaching me love and romance, how to laugh at myself, to be there for family and friends and just for being you.

I again am grateful for the lessons I have learned, I wish you peace and joy in your life and thanks for the memories.

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Pray changes things…

I am a huge believer in Prayer changes things… When you believe in something bigger than you, in something you cannot see but still have a deep faith.

Prayer has been part of life, to me its like breathing, its just what I do but as my faith walk has evolved so has my prayers I use I am a huge believer in Prayer changes things… When you believe in something bigger than you, in something you cannot see but still have a deep faith.

Prayer has been part of life, to me its like breathing, its just what I do but as my faith walk has evolved so has my prayers I use to just pray about me and the things I wanted or needed, I was always grateful but never prayed for others.

When I got divorced there was a service and Bishop said you needed to pray for others, even your enemies, he said (yes, I cant make this up) you should pray for your ex’s… I am thinking is he nuts? This man who made my life miserable and robbed me in the divorce? Him? I should pray for him? Oh hell no,he should pray I don’t wring his neck!

He said we needed to pray for them, so that we may get our blessings, well I am a good student of my Bishop and so I prayed for him, I prayed he would change his ways, I prayed he forgave me and himself of what happened in our marriage as I had done, then I started praying for others as well, I prayed for my family, my friends, my co workers who have closed minds and everyone who did me wrong, yes even Mr.Con Artist, yup everyone!

Every night I prayed for so many people until it became natural, it wasn’t just about me, it was becoming a blessing to others, so yesterday when my bestie texted and said she wasn’t coming to the gym because she was going to a praying circle, I said okay then a second later I texted back and said please pray for me and two other friends I knew needed it.

Yes, I am so in tune with prayers that I have others pray for people I know.
Well, yesterday I was so peaceful at work, my other friend said she also had a peace over her and she didn’t know why and my third friend, took a huge step to changing their life and sounded so very happy last night.

Really prayer doesn’t work? I prayed that god would take my drugs and alcohol problems, my cigarette problem I prayed he would give me courage and strength to change my life, I prayed about my business when I had no job, I prayed about my home, my children when they got into trouble and I am standing here as living proof that Yes!Prayer changes everything!

Ever notice how lately as you scroll down Facebook or other blogs that more and more people are posting about prayer and God? Now your will notice, yes more and more people believe this, look at the basis of the secret, you put out there what you want and it comes, like attract like…

So I am here to give my gratitude that my prayers helped others and that my bestie prayed for us all and that God answered all of our prayers.

So today, forgive those who have hurt you then pray for the haters, pray for you enemies, pray, pray, pray ….because prayer changes things. just pray about me and the things I wanted or needed, I was always grateful but never prayed for others.

When I got divorced there was a service and Bishop said you needed to pray for others, even your enemies, he said (yes, I cant make this up) you should pray for your ex’s… I am thinking is he nuts? This man who made my life miserable and robbed me in the divorce? Him? I should pray for him? Oh hell no,he should pray I don’t wring his neck!

He said we needed to pray for them, so that we may get our blessings, well I am a good student of my Bishop and so I prayed for him, I prayed he would change his ways, I prayed he forgave me and himself of what happened in our marriage as I had done, then I started praying for others as well, I prayed for my family, my friends, my co workers who have closed minds and everyone who did me wrong, yes even Mr.Con Artist, yup everyone!

Every night I prayed for so many people until it became natural, it wasn’t just about me, it was becoming a blessing to others, so yesterday when my bestie texted and said she wasn’t coming to the gym because she was going to a praying circle, I said okay then a second later I texted back and said please pray for me and two other friends I knew needed it.

Yes, I am so in tune with prayers that I have others pray for people I know.
Well, yesterday I was so peaceful at work, my other friend said she also had a peace over her and she didn’t know why and my third friend, took a huge step to changing their life and sounded so very happy last night.

Really prayer doesn’t work? I prayed that god would take my drugs and alcohol problems, my cigarette problem I prayed he would give me courage and strength to change my life, I prayed about my business when I had no job, I prayed about my home, my children when they got into trouble and I am standing here as living proof that Yes!Prayer changes everything!

Ever notice how lately as you scroll down Facebook or other blogs that more and more people are posting about prayer and God? Now your will notice, yes more and more people believe this, look at the basis of the secret, you put out there what you want and it comes, like attract like…

So I am here to give my gratitude that my prayers helped others and that my bestie prayed for us all and that God answered all of our prayers.

So today, forgive those who have hurt you then pray for the haters, pray for you enemies,pray, pray, pray

Prayer changes everything!

….because prayer changes things.

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Would have, could have, should have..

How many times in your life have you said would have, could have, should have? Probably more times then you care to remember, like the rest of us but these lessons we hopefully carry with us, so that we make better choices the next time.

Yes, if your like me you have made plenty of mistakes and if you haven’t I almost feel sorry for you, because mistakes are learning lessons that we all need in life.

I have made plenty, starting with not going to an away college, I didn’t want to leave my mom or friends so I missed out on the whole dorm, sisterhood sorority thing, being on your own, the freshman 20,(okay I don’t miss that) all of the college experience, it has been a big regret in my life.

I should have listened to my warning signs, the red flags that were slapping me in the face when I met my ex husband (ok, ok and a few other men, I admit) in my life, but mo, I poo poo them away, I made excuses, I justified them over and over.

I should have never let my power go, I should have stood up and set ground rules, I should have known my own self worth and not let anyone tell me any different.

I should have realized my purpose earlier, and wrote this book years ago and while I was at it,socked more money away than I did while waiting for my divorce.

Would have…could have… should have. . Its done, its over you did what you knew how to do in the beginning, my favorite quotes is “When you know better,you do better”

I needed to stay home, I needed to learn the lessons of my marriage so that I could write this book, my purpose? Is to be able to give women encouragement and faith that they can do it as well.

My red flags well I am a little slow, no excuses there, sometimes I don’t get it on the first try… I am working on that one.

These are all lessons in life, yes would have it been nicer not to have to go through all of what we did? Yes! But get real that’s not life ,so you can either sit around for years beating yourself up or you can learn your lesson and move on!

Remember you cant drive your car looking in the rear view mirror!

Put that top down, turn up that music and check out all the wonderful and incredible views out in front of you! Weeeeeeee….

sick faith

Treadmill Treats Monday morning message
Sick Faith

That’s what I call my faith “Sick faith” I called it that because my faith is so strong, nothing can shake it!

I had a lot of time this weekend while I was editing my “New York Times bestseller” to reflect over my life and my faith. I thought about it as I wrote about the time I was raped,when my dad died, when my mom had cancer, when I had to have an abortion, all within 6 months, all while I was 15,when I was at one of the lowest points in my life, when he pulled me from deaths hands as I tried to take my life.

I thought about when I was so into drugs and booze that I would wake up in my own vomit on the floor and I turned it over to him and he took it from me.

When I was dying in my marriage, when I never thought I could make it on my own, when I lost my job and he gave me my business. How my faith got me through my my dad and my best friend died in the same week and soon after my mom, my best friend, through my divorce, my getting nothing, my sick faith got me through it all!

I gave it to God and I let go , there was nothing I could do, my problems were way to big for me to handle, so I turned it over him.

He took care of it all, he gave me peace and joy, he put a calmness in my life I’ve never known.

So some of you skeptics might say “well why did he put you in those spots in the first place,it was his fault”
Look just because I am a Christian doesn’t mean you magically have no problems, no it usually means you have more, because there is always something or someone trying to test your faith.

Look I am so not perfect and I will never be but I am human, there are days when I want it faster, when I wonder didn’t I go through enough already? But then I know I have faith, I know it is coming became he said it is, I know that the things that happen are either there to test my sick faith or to teach me a lesson, that I must go through them, that my season, my best season is coming!

You might be wondering why I always refer to my book as a New York Times Bestseller because that is what is going to happen, I have no doubt, see sick faith? I know I will be writing full time because I know this is my purpose God has given me.

I have no doubts,no stress and no fear about my future I know what is coming and if its Gods will that life may throw a few more curve balls so be it, my sick faith will help me get back up, it will help dust me off and get right back to living and believing!

So today try to inspire to be a believer of sick faith, I had a great teacher, my Bishop Henry Fernandez, he has more faith than anyone I have ever met, I inspire to have his faith, until then I will work on my sick faith every day.
You can have it too, all you have to do is believe. ….

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I’d rather eat crumbs with bums, than steak with snakes

That is such a huge question, are you really that insecure? but believe me there are plenty of people out there that are.

Yes, you know the type, hell you might even be dating or married to the type. The ones who are so insecure that you can’t have friends of the opposite sex, some are so insecure they wont even “let” you talk to the opposite sex.

Really? Cause you will jump over the counter and attack the bank teller with the bank teller with the cute smile or let the fed ex man in for a quickie or better yet the friend you have known since you were kids, that lives across the country and has always been there for you through thick and thin, yes, you might have cyber sex with even though you’ve slept in the same bed with not so much as a kiss in thirty years ?

This is all about their insecurities not yours, this is their problem, don’t make it yours.

I had an ex husband who thought I was screwing everyone, I am not kidding and he would accuse me every day. If I was having that much fun I wouldn’t had enough time to clean his house, cook his meals, clean the yard and the pool and take care of his kids and 200 plus animals every day! give me a break!

I just lost a friendship over this and it has hurt me to the core, we have been friends since we were thirteen and last summer when I went home he was there for me to help me get over my divorce, he always makes me laugh and I truly enjoy his friendship and am grateful for it and what he has helped me gotten through.

He met a girl right after I left and I was so happy for him, he’s a great guy and she seems like a great girl that makes him happy. I was their biggest cheerleader but she obviously is insecure and doesn’t like the fact that we were hanging out “before” he met her, so needless to say we are no longer friends and I so miss his friendship.

It sucks! We didn’t have a love affair, we were friends and even if we did so frigging what? If you don’t trust your partner you have nothing! They can cheat at work, they can cheat any time or any place with anyone, point is, if they are going to cheat, then they will.

You being insecure about it is not going to change the situation one bit! No if anything it will put more of a strain on the relationship.

I have never been insecure, my theory is I will trust you until you give me reason not to.

And if you do cheat, well…read my blogs I will kick your ass to the curb, no second chances, your loss not mine. Next! But I refuse to sit around and worry about imaginary stuff!

Get real, believe that you are worthy, draw you line in the sand in the beginning “Btw I will not tolerate a lying, cheating man, if you do, its over no second chances” then get on with your relationship.

Stop worrying about it, don’t break up a long time friendship, because eventually they will get sick of your insecurities and will dump your butt and go running back to their friends just like I did, I realized my friends will always be there for me.

Just think of how many relationships you’ve been through with one friend? Yup see my point?

So if your dating someone now and they are insecure, Run! Run Forrest run!! That is a warning sign of other insecurities to come later, trust me!

Love and trust that is what a relationship is based on, if you don’t have that then just be single and enjoy life!

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Are you that insecure

That is such a huge question, are you really that insecure? but believe me there are plenty of people out there that are.

Yes, you know the type, hell you might even be dating or married to the type. The ones who are so insecure that you can’t have friends of the opposite sex, some are so insecure they wont even “let” you talk to the opposite sex.

Really? Cause you will jump over the counter and attack the bank teller with the bank teller with the cute smile or let the fed ex man in for a quickie or better yet the friend you have known since you were kids, that lives across the country and has always been there for you through thick and thin, yes, you might have cyber sex with even though you’ve slept in the same bed with not so much as a kiss in thirty years ?

This is all about their insecurities not yours, this is their problem, don’t make it yours.

I had an ex husband who thought I was screwing everyone, I am not kidding and he would accuse me every day. If I was having that much fun I wouldn’t had enough time to clean his house, cook his meals, clean the yard and the pool and take care of his kids and 200 plus animals every day! give me a break!

I just lost a friendship over this and it has hurt me to the core, we have been friends since we were thirteen and last summer when I went home he was there for me to help me get over my divorce, he always makes me laugh and I truly enjoy his friendship and am grateful for it and what he has helped me gotten through.

He met a girl right after I left and I was so happy for him, he’s a great guy and she seems like a great girl that makes him happy. I was their biggest cheerleader but she obviously is insecure and doesn’t like the fact that we were hanging out “before” he met her, so needless to say we are no longer friends and I so miss his friendship.

It sucks! We didn’t have a love affair, we were friends and even if we did so frigging what? If you don’t trust your partner you have nothing! They can cheat at work, they can cheat any time or any place with anyone, point is, if they are going to cheat, then they will.

You being insecure about it is not going to change the situation one bit! No if anything it will put more of a strain on the relationship.

I have never been insecure, my theory is I will trust you until you give me reason not to.

And if you do cheat, well…read my blogs I will kick your ass to the curb, no second chances, your loss not mine. Next! But I refuse to sit around and worry about imaginary stuff!

Get real, believe that you are worthy, draw you line in the sand in the beginning “Btw I will not tolerate a lying, cheating man, if you do, its over no second chances” then get on with your relationship.

Stop worrying about it, don’t break up a long time friendship, because eventually they will get sick of your insecurities and will dump your butt and go running back to their friends just like I did, I realized my friends will always be there for me.

Just think of how many relationships you’ve been through with one friend? Yup see my point?

So if your dating someone now and they are insecure, Run! Run Forrest run!! That is a warning sign of other insecurities to come later, trust me!

Love and trust that is what a relationship is based on, if you don’t have that then just be single and enjoy life!

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