What is patience?

Treadmill Treats Monday message

What is patience?

It is the ability to tolerate  delay, troubles and suffering without getting angry about it.

Most of us really need help in this area me included, this was one of the toughest lessons I had to learn. I want it and I want it now! Like most of us.
God has a time, his time he is working together for our good, we must just believe and be patient.

Just like anything else it take practice, I needed a job, I prayed for a job, I looked for a job, I begged for a job yet I couldn’t find one eight long months yet I kept believing that he would provide and he did better than that, he gave me my own business.

For years I wanted out of my marriage, I put it out there, I prayed and 3 long years, it came to pass .It was in his time, not mine, I was not ready, he was putting things in motion, when I left I knew I could do this on my own.

I wanted to finish my book, but I couldn’t because I wasn’t done with all the chapters, how could I tell women to leave , to walk away and it will be great when I didn’t know myself.
When I was done with my test, my book flowed out of me, I had to write day and night, every free second.

I kept looking for a home, I wanted out but I couldn’t find one I could afford or liked yet I kept believing and yes he gave me one close to my kids school, in a great neighborhood, one I could afford and one that had such a peaceful feeling to it, just what I needed.
Going through what I am now, I know he will provide what I need, if it is not his will to stay in this home, I will pack and go to an even better one!

God will put you in a storm to see if you can hold on to your peace,
If we look forward and we don’t see it, yet wait patiently for it with confidence.

All through these times I knew God was going to do what he said he would I never lost faith.
You have to believe, to know without a doubt that it will happen.

You need endurance to win, endure the pain, endure knowing if you endure you will eventually win.

Without endurance you will never win the race.
How do you endure? To have patience. ..

I delight in weakness, in insults,in persecution in difficulties, for when I am weak, it is then I am strong.

Even when  your down, even when others are criticizing you, even when it is dark and you cannot see the sun, you have to have faith, you have to have patience to ensure.

I am still learning patience, its a daily thing for me but now I know patience pays off. I remember my mom saying “all good things come to those who wait” and it’s true.

So today my friends, practice patience, endure during difficult times, pray and believe, the best is yet to come, I am living proof of that.

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How the movie The color purple effected my life

Hump day Treadmill Treats

On the plane ride home from Greece I watched one of my favorite movies, The Color Purple. I haven’t watched that movie since my divorce and I can’t tell you how I cried as I watched it, because that movie mimics my life and how now it means so much more to me now that I am free.

That movie was a role model for my life, that no matter how bad your life is, that if you don’t stop believing anything is possible.

All through the movie , Celie has it rough, first a terrible childhood, then her horrible father marries her off, her husband treats her like she is less than human, he curses at her, he puts her down, he tells her she was nothing, ugly and stupid.

He separates her from her only sister for years, his family treats her bad, she gives up hope until Sug comes along and they become friends, she tells her she is beautiful and smart and is worthy. See you only need one person to believe in you, to be there for you, to let you know all you have forgotten about yourself.
One person that can change it all in your life.

I had that life, I had that horrible childhood, I had that insanely jealous, controlling, verbally abusive husband that pulled me away from friends and family.
I too lost all hope and didn’t like myself, I could so relate to Celie.

She finds out that he has been keeping all of her sister letters from her, as she reads them, she gets stronger and she has had enough, , she tells him during a holiday dinner, what she wanted to for so many years and had never had the courage to, he tells her she will never have anything without him, she would be nothing, is nothing.

As she is getting into the car she turns and sticks her fingers in his face and says (my favorite line in the whole movie)

“What you’ve have unto me has already been done onto you!”
“Ha I maybe be black, I maybe be dumb, I might even be ugly but I am still here!”

She leaves to make a new life for herself, she comes home when her dad dies to find out he really wasn’t her dad , that the house, the property and the store was her real dad’s and now it’s hers. It is her season now, she is happy, she is free.

See she went through all of that, but this was her season, she waited and God gave to her all she lost and more than she could ever dream of.

He ex husband as true to her curse on him, is now a drunk, house falling apart, chickens running amok ,his life is a mess.
See God will let you have a front seat to karma, you need not do anything.

I did that, I left, with nothing and on the day I was moving out and he was still spitting hatred at me, I said those words to him, I was free, his words will never effect me again.

I also had my own Sug,  that told me how worthy I was, that I could do this and I believed, I prayed and yes, God listened, this is my season, I am stronger, I am filled with joy and peace, this season will give me back all that was lost.

I am Celie and she is me…you are Celie and you are me, we are all the same, you can get through all your going through.

So today my friends, know that your season is coming, God knows your pain and if you keep believing, your season is just around the corner.

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The lessons I’ve learned in Greece

Treadmill Treats Tuesday edition

As I get older, I hope I am getting wiser as well. I look at life differently, I try to find the lessons of every experience I have. I have learned so many lessons in the last few years, more than I have in my lifetime.

You learn lessons when you are ready to open your heart, be quiet within yourself and realize that you have to let go of your ego. A great friend once said “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear”

This trip to Greece was no different, here I learned many lessons, first and foremost I learned more now than ever before, to have gratitude. I am not only grateful every day but I am even more grateful that God had showed his grace on me to let me be able to do this with my best friend.

I saw people living in poverty and yet they were happy, I saw people sitting and really enjoying talking to others, not rushing about. I was grateful to be able to do that with my best friend.

I learned to go with the flow, so the apartment we rented wasn’t in the greatest neighborhood, we meet neighbors, we found great little neighborhood restaurants with wonderful food and great company. We made the best out of what we were given, with no complaints or whining, we were both just grateful to be there together.

We had no schedule, we wung it and we had fun, we laughed, we said each and every day how blessed we were to be there.
We couldn’t get flights out, we had to change plans, fly out from Greece to London, we rolled with it, I learned to bend and go with the flow. I looked at all of it as an adventure, whatever God wants to happen, it will and if it’s not what I want to happen, I need to let go and stop stressing about it.

I learned to stop and enjoy, really enjoy the moment, because in a second it could all change.So we had to go to London, okay, I got a stamp on my passport, I got to taste the food, I got to see their incredible airport, make it good, find the positive and go with it.

So today my friends, stop rushing around, stop worrying about the past, stop worrying about what may or may not be coming, be content in this moment, take it in, sit back look around, enjoy your company and be grateful that you can do it.

Missing my dad

Treadmill Treats Monday message

Missing my dad

Today is 34 years my dad has been gone and there’s not a day I don’t miss him.
He was taken from us way to soon, he was young, 45 and vibrant, he was cool, he drove fast cars, he wore silk shirts, he was funny, his heart was huge, he was the best dad a girl could have.

A year ago on this date I got my divorce and I got my new home, it was no longer a sad day, it was a day for rejoicing, a day my father looked down from heaven and gave me a helping hand to start my new life.

There have been so many times in my life where he has missed out, walking me down the isle of my wedding, the birth of my girls, when I was stuck in that horrible marriage, I wished I had him to talk to , to turn to.

When I finally got my voice and my courage to leave and all I have become since that.
This trip to Greece, I wish I could talk to him and show him how happy I am now.

Being in Greece with my childhood best friend, something I have dreamed about for years was surreal but the whole time among the beauty and the ruins, I felt like my parents were looking down on me, smiling, knowing how truly happy I am in my life and how grateful I am for all of it.

I take none of this for granted, as I better than anyone know how short life is, I have lost more people than one person should have to endure. One day your here and the next your gone, just like that.

I make it my mission each day to tell the people I have in my life how much they mean to me that I love them and appreciate them.  I don’t ever want to have regret that I should have…could have…

No, I bought flowers to my mom one a week while she was alive, I tell my girls how much I love them, how beautiful they are , that they are capable of doing anything. I tell my family and friends I love them every time I speak to them, I let them know now while they can hear me, not afterwards while they are gone and your filled with regrets.

So today my friends tell someone how much you love them, how much they mean to you because you never know when they will be gone.

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The do’s and don’ts of on line dating

Tgif Treadmill Treats

 

The do’s and don’ts of on line dating

 

Okay,since I’ve been dating, there are so many things I have seen out there that are such turn off’s, these are the things that me and my bestie laugh about every morning.

 

This is just from a women’s perspective, you men can chime in with what we do to turn you off, as I can only speak from what I see.

 

1.I don’t need to see what you looked like 30 years ago, most likely you looked better than and it’s just a tease.

 

2. I don’t want to see your dog, cat or other animals, I am not dating them and they are most likely another tease because they are also better looking than you.

 

3. I don’t need to see pictures of your boat, car, house or motorcycle,  I am not impressed.(please see #1 &2)

 

4. If you don’t say anything about yourself, I keep going, I want to be drawn in, if your funny let it show, if your romantic put it down, tell me about yourself, otherwise I think your boring and I go, next! 

 

5. Please take close up and full body shots, look we all have our types, I like athletic guys, that’s me and for God’s sake put up more than one picture,I went on a date and walked around for 15 minutes looking for him, because he looked nothing like his one picture.

 

6. If you do get in touch, please don’t call me baby, honey, sweetie or sexy, you don’t even know me, it’s offensive and right there it gets you to the door, next!

 

7 . Don’t say things through texts or emails that you would never have the balls to say in person! Really! Nough said

 

8. Do you read? If you did you you would have read that I am not looking to hook up, so don’t ask, don’t send me a picture of your ass or any other body part! Yuck! What part of not looking to hook up don’t you get? 

 

9. Don’t keep asking me to send you pictures how many do you need to see? Ask me out, see the real thing!

 

10.Be a gentleman, yes we still like that, open doors, pull out chairs, at least offer to buy us a cup of coffee don’t talk about what bitches your ex was, be yourself for God’s sake its a date, were not getting married, have fun.

 

Yes, it has been a trip but even though I haven’t found a love connection yet, I have meet some really great guys that are now my friends

 

 

The do’s and don’ts of on line dating

Tgif Treadmill Treats

 

The do’s and don’ts of on line dating

 

Okay,since I’ve been dating, there are so many things I have seen out there that are such turn off’s, these are the things that me and my bestie laugh about every morning.

 

This is just from a women’s perspective, you men can chime in with what we do to turn you off, as I can only speak from what I see.

 

1.I don’t need to see what you looked like 30 years ago, most likely you looked better than and it’s just a tease.

 

2. I don’t want to see your dog, cat or other animals, I am not dating them and they are most likely another tease because they are also better looking than you.

 

3. I don’t need to see pictures of your boat, car, house or motorcycle,  I am not impressed.(please see #1 &2)

 

4. If you don’t say anything about yourself, I keep going, I want to be drawn in, if your funny let it show, if your romantic put it down, tell me about yourself, otherwise I think your boring and I go, next! 

 

5. Please take close up and full body shots, look we all have our types, I like athletic guys, that’s me and for God’s sake put up more than one picture,I went on a date and walked around for 15 minutes looking for him, because he looked nothing like his one picture.

 

6. If you do get in touch, please don’t call me baby, honey, sweetie or sexy, you don’t even know me, it’s offensive and right there it gets you to the door, next!

 

7 . Don’t say things through texts or emails that you would never have the balls to say in person! Really! Nough said

 

8. Do you read? If you did you you would have read that I am not looking to hook up, so don’t ask, don’t send me a picture of your ass or any other body part! Yuck! What part of not looking to hook up don’t you get? 

 

9. Don’t keep asking me to send you pictures how many do you need to see? Ask me out, see the real thing!

 

10.Be a gentleman, yes we still like that, open doors, pull out chairs, at least offer to buy us a cup of coffee don’t talk about what bitches your ex was, be yourself for God’s sake its a date, were not getting married, have fun.

 

Yes, it has been a trip but even though I haven’t found a love connection yet, I have meet some really great guys that are now my friends

 

 

Joyful people practice gratefulness

Tuesday Treadmill Treats

 

Joyful people practice gratefulness

 

I don’t usually watch TV but I love Oprah Super Soul Sunday, she had on a guest

 Dr.Brene Brown and she had wrote a book on all of her research about gratefulness.It said that the most joyful people practice gratefulness, wow Oprah light bulb moment!

I know this to be true, I have found joy and peace in my life that I have never had before and the one thing about having it is that I am so very grateful, there is not a day that goes by that I don’t give thanks, that I don’t give the credit to my God, that at times I am so very grateful it will bring me to tears, it overcomes me, I can’t say it enough times. 

Yes, I was in a dark place for many years and even there I looked for something to be grateful for.

You need to go through the day looking for things to be grateful for.

Be grateful for the small moments, having dinner with your kids, a warm breeze, the sunrise, a kind word from someone, start small if you feel you can’t be grateful for everything. 

Gratitude is a practice thing,  be grateful for the ordinary moments. Be present in them, enjoy that very second, don’t ask when will the other shoe drop, just feel blessed at that moment. 

These are a few of Dr Brown’s quotes from her book about gratitude:

 

Being a whole hearted person cultivating authenticity: letting go of what people think.

I no longer care what people say, I wore a mask for too many years, I am happy with me, God is happy with me, thats all that matters.

Cultivating self compassion: letting go of perfectionism.

I tried for years to be perfect and it literally almost killed me, there is no such thing as perfectionism, your human, you have flaws, its okay. 

Cultivating a resilient spirit:letting go of powerlessness.

Yes, you will fall down, get back up, its okay I write about my failures each and every day, yet I still keep going with a positive attitude. 

Cultivating gratitude and joy: letting go of scarcity and fear 

This was a big one for me, fear ruled my life, I didn’t like change, I stayed 20 years in a horrible situation because of fear. When you give it over to God, to the universe to who ever you believe in and trust it is then you can find peace and joy in your life. 

You can’t find joy when your beating it to the finish lie by saying oh when is the next shoe going to drop? This is too good, something bad will happen. 

No live in this moment, let go of fear, have faith!

So today my friends, practice gratefulness, start when you wake up, thank you for waking me up, thank you I can walk to the bathroom, thank you I have a home and hot water, start small practice every day and before long you will be grateful for everything you have,every moment in your life. 

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