Stinking thinking

Thursday Treadmill Treats
Stinking thinking

I am convinced that most people’s situation in life is based in their stinking thinking.
Yes, things will happen in your  life that will suck, plain and simple but it is how you look at them, how you deal and what you say that will change your outcome.

If you walk around and say oh poor me,what else can go wrong, nothing good ever happens to me, see this always happens, yes we all know people like this, hell this could be describing you right now,be honest.

You know what? Your right nothing good will come to you, yes, other crappy things will happen because what you put out there will come back to you!
Hello! The law of attraction, The Secret, yes even in the bible it say this.

I just finished my book (look for it soon on the New York times bestseller list, see how this works?) While I was editing it I was crying, I had some horrible,  dark, knock you to your knees times in my life, yet I’ve always  had a positive attitude.

I always considered myself a survivor not a victim, I always picked myself up, dusted myself off and went on, not carrying hatred or anger, trying to learn a lesson from those dark times and to try to share with others mine and my Aunt Nancy’s favorite quote. “This too shall pass”

So here are 3 critical areas that you must invest in to change your life:

1-Your mind-

You need to get rid of those  why me, poor me, this always  happens to me. Kick that thinking to the curb

2-Your attitude –

Some of you have such bad attitudes,people don’t even want to be around you,your mean, your negative, you think your the only one things happen to.

3 – Your responses-

Yes, how do you respond when  things happen? Are you quick to yell and scream? Quick to judge or blame? Change it, speak what you want to happen, find a lesson, look for the positive.

So today my friends remember you have the power, what you think, what you put out there, what you speak.. its all in your power.

“When trouble comes your way consider it an opportunity for great joy”

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Let’s talk about the crazy

Tuesday Treadmill Treats
Let’s talk about the crazy

Yes,unfortunately there will be some people in your life that are crazy. My bestie says the crazy doesn’t come out until you date someone for at least 6 months, I believe that, your on your best behavior but that 6 month mark it’s getting harder and harder to keep the act up and BAM here comes the crazy!

But in today’s world crazy can be really scary, I knew two friends that were killed because of crazy ex’s, I myself was stalked for months, I didn’t  know who it was but he certainly knew everything  about me, where I lived, who I walked to school with, my routine, he told me he was going to slit my throat and other unmentionable things,for months I looked over my shoulder, I never went anywhere alone, I was petrified, it turned out to be a guy I just dated for a few weeks,who knew? crazy and scary.

Now my daughter ex has turned, he’s calling all her friends, he blocked his number and calls all night long into the wee hours of the morning, he follows her, he shows up where she is at and the most recent thing he did was hack into her school account and mess up her grades by taking tests and assignments wrong.

I don’t get it someone breaks up with you, it’s over, my motto  their loss not yours.They lost a good thing and the next person  will be getting you, a gem.
Move on, get over it, hell even when I was lied to, conned and cheated on by Mr Con Artist, after I busted him in the head with his phone and broke it, threw his crap into the street and left him to walk back to the airport with 2 days remaining on his trip here, it was over, don’t  call me again, no second chances, its over, finished, caput, done,adios sucker,your outta here!

Yet some people can’t let go,they don’t get the concept of its over, and that’s when the crazy comes in full force.
So let me give you some warning signs and trust me they are always signs..

1. Trust your judgment, if your senses are screaming or even whispering listen!!

2. Are they quick to jump off  the handle and then quick to apologize?

3.Are they controlling, wanting to know who your with, your every move?

4. Do they separate you from friends  and family?

5. Does 2 +2 don’t add up yet your still making excuses for all the things they are telling you, you always justify it?

6. There is something not right but you can’t put your finger on it?
7. Are they insanely jealous even for no reason?

If you answered any of these questions yes, Run Forest run, pack your stuff and get out of town,God gave you that gift of sense for a reason, use it!

So today my friends  listen to your inner voice, know when  something is off, get out quick,the crazy is coming and you don’t want to stick around  for the full show.

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Don’t stop believing

Treadmill Treats Monday message

Don’t stop believing

I tell you all the time, this faith walk is not easy and I am so far from perfect it’s not funny.But I keep trying, sometimes every day is a struggle, some days it’s a piece of cake but I am human and I slip and fall.

This weekend we had a home coming service for a childhood friend and then that night I get a message from my landlord, we had agreed to a price on the property I am living  in, (full price that she wanted,30 day closing, 10 days for inspection straight forward )I had the contract drawn up, I signed and gave it to her,thinking done deal she texts me doesn’t even have the balls to call to tell me there is someone else interested in the property and that I know I am getting a deal and they are not signing and they want me to show the house to the other buyer??

Here comes the I am human  part, I am pissed and I tell them, if you wanted more money, you should have asked for more,why make me go through the expense of all of this and then try to get more money out of me? I can’t  stand liars, we had a deal,you told me a price, I gave a full price offer,deal done at least in my mind,but no I have to remember there are lying, cheating people in this world,my problem is I always try to see the best in people and not all people have anywhere close to the best in them.

After I gave them a piece of my mind (human remember? ) I started  to cry, where was I going  to go? Now I would  have to pack and move, this sucks! I lost faith and I broke my own rule about not worrying. I didn’t  sleep all night,I was sick to my stomach thinking about what if’s  (see what worry will do to you)

The following morning,I went for a bike ride, I cried some more and I proceed to have a pity party for myself, including  ratty sweats,comfort foods, and wine, plenty of wine,I sat on my couch and wallow in self pity.

Then I streamed my Bishop’s service  online and the message? Yup it was for me, it was about Peter ,how he is on the boat and Jesus tells him to walk out in the storm, he does but looks away from Jesus  and just for a second  stops believing and starts to drown,Jesus saves him and asks him,why did you not have faith? Do you not know I will always be here? That I am not a man to lie?

That sermon was the very first sermon I heard when I came to my church,to walk out in faith, blind faith, never to worry through the storm, keep your eyes on the Lord and don’t stop believing. That day just like yesterday I gave it over to God,I felt the holy spirit and I knew I would be okay,God will provide for my every need, my job was just to keep focused.

Through out the day there were other signs to confirm the message and by late afternoon  I was over my pity party, yes I fell, yes, I doubted God’s power, yes I am human but just because you fall doesn’t mean the fight is over, no it means it gives you a few seconds to get it back together, to stand back up and come out fighting  stronger !

So today my friends, it’s okay  to fall down, it’s okay  to have a pity party with whine and cheese, get a box of tissues, cry your eyes out then get back up  know who’s child you are, a child of the most high God and don’t stop believing …

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I’d rather eat crumbs with bums then steak with snakes

Tgif  Treadmill Treats

I’d rather eat crumbs with bums then steak with snakes.

When I read that yesterday on Facebook and I thought that is so true. When I was leaving my ex husband that is what I kept thinking and this quote was even more meaningful to me because if you didn’t know my ex bred snakes, yup I can’t make this up people.

Yes, for years we bred snakes, monkeys, sugar gliders, parrots, lizards, ferrets, you name it we bred it and sold them. For years I had no voice (I had gave my power way years before to him) so my “job” was to clean all the cages and feed all these animals, at one point we had over 300 animals. It was a dirty, nasty job and not one I ever inspired to, nope I’m more of a cat (a, not plural) person, a dog person, not 2,4 ,6,8 ONE dog, yet here I was free labor for this literally crappy job.

We made big money from this, nice house fancy car (he drove, not me) lots of 5 star vacations, toys, lots of toys, four wheelers, boats, jet ski, motorcycles, oh yeah we had it all and yes I liked that lifestyle until it was eating my soul alive.

I was selling my soul, I was dying inside, I was degraded, put down, belittled, called every name you could imagine, yes, there was a huge price tag for my luxury life.

Then one day, I had enough, all the money in the world wasn’t enough to keep me there, my girls were older and had a say in where they wanted to go, I was no longer petrified of his threats of taking my girls and me never seeing them again.

No, God gave me strength to know that even if I had to “eat crumbs with bums” I would be happy, I would be free and so I walked away and yes its hard, no I didn’t get alimony, I got hardly anything but I got something no money can buy peace and joy in my life and every day I give thanks for my wonderful life I now have.

So let me tell you how much better peanut butter tastes than lobster…. Priceless!!

So today, be real, are you selling your soul for that Gucci purse? Are you eating steaks with snakes? How much is your soul worth?
Your answer should be “Sorry not for sale, excuse me I have resovations with my friends on the corner of I am free and I am at peace

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The loss of a childhood friend

Tuesday Treadmill Treats
The loss of a childhood friend

Today I write this blog with a heavy heart as we just found out that we have lost a childhood friend, Joey Rault.
He was young, just 50, full of life, had a great heart and a quiet spirit, he was far too young to be gone and yet he is.

We all grew up in a small town in upstate New York, most of us started pre school together and went straight through college together. We knew the same people, knew each others parents, we knew about hot bagels at 3 am, we knew which dinner had the best burgers and fries with gravy (Gagers) we knew the well, the hill (Dillon) the launch (Mongup) We knew the cops, the bars, the back woods and let’s not forget WBT versus MBT.

We skated with him at Dehoyes, swim in the lakes together, we hung out at the Down Under watching his brother spin the records all night.

These and so many memories that bonded us for life and even though we may have lost touch over the years there was still that bond, we were all blessed enough to reconnect these last few years, we had all moved down to Florida about 30 of us and we get together once a month to catch up and enjoy each others company.

Unless you grew up in this small vacation town, you can’t imagine all the wonderful memories and fun we had, it was a magical childhood and I was so grateful to be able to grow up with these incredible people.

I write all the time about living your life to the fullest as you never know what will happen and this is yet another confirmation if you didn’t get the message before.
Each and every day is a gift from God, use it wisely as it can be gone in an instant.

Be happy, be grateful, smile at people, find the joy in everything, never complain, never! You are here, you have another day to tell someone you love them, to right a wrong, to make a mends, today you have that chance, this minute, you have that chance, you might not get a second time to do so.

Make a bucket list, do the things you’ve been putting off, do it today! Spend more time with your kids, they want you not another fancy toy.
Work less, play more!
Don’t waste time worrying about things you can’t change, be present in each and every moment.

Don’t have regrets, no one ever said on their last breath I wished I worked more, no they say I wished I spent more time with the people I love, doing the things I wanted to do.
Being rich has nothing to do with money, my friend Joey was rich, he had a family that loved him, he had great friends, he had a smile that lit up the room…. and he was taken way too soon.

So today my friends, stop, breathe, look around, give thanks that God gave you another day here and make the most of it, you never know if it will be your last…

We will miss you Joey Rault….

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My hero, my girls. .

Thursday Treadmill Treats
My hero, my girls…

To me every day God chooses to wake me up, is a another day that I can learn something and hopefully grow and help others. To me my gift is to try to inspire others, to show then that you can change, that your never to old to try something or do what you set your mind to.

I teach my girls the same lessons and I pray each and every day that I am doing a good job with them. Yesterday I cried because I realized that what your children see you do,then they do the same things even when they saw the horrible outcome.

My daughter dated a man just like her dad, a man who wanted her to change to please him, a man who was crazy jealous, who she stayed with to try to please him even sacrificing her own happiness to achieve it. Yes, at 17 she was walking in my footsteps, heading for misery but she decided that she wanted more,she realized that he was just like her father, she wants peace in her life, that she sees me have and so she walked away.

He has called, texted, tweeted and came by, he’s cried, pleaded and got angry because he no longer has control over her anymore. She told me she needs to be happy, I told her its not your job to try to make others happy, just yourself, you need to love yourself, you just do “you”

I worry that maybe my girls saw too much, that maybe I scared them for life watching their father treat their mother with such disregard and disrespect.  I worry that they might pick the same kind of man like their father.
But yesterday I also realize  and told her,that maybe, just maybe she learned a lesson at 17 that took me 24 years to learn. You can’t make anyone happy, some people no matter what you do will never be happy, it will never be enough, you just keep trying to kill yourself trying to fill their hole and it will never end.

This is their problem not yours! And I try to tell my girls this, as they feel the way their father treats them is a reflection of something they did or did not do, it is never a reflection of that, it is and always will be his problem.

So today my friends, I am proud to say that yes what your children see and hear you say does resonate in them and if your lucky, they won’t make the same mistakes you made, it is then you will know you’re done the right thing.

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Showing your faith

Treadmill Treats Monday message

What message are we sending to the world as Christians? Do we show people how much we appreciate what God has done with our lives?
Do we tell what God has given us? Are we grateful for all he had given us? Do we try to explain our faith?

Paul preached to everyone, he didn’t care what color they were, he didn’t care what faith you were, he had a message and he had to tell what God has done for him to everyone.

Today no one wants to talk about their faith, God forbid it might offend someone else who didn’t believe the same, so we tip toe around what we believe, we don’t speak it out loud.
I am one who doesn’t care who you believe in and I’ve said it a hundred times, you can be Jewish, Hindu, Buddha, whatever higher power that gets you through your day is your higher power, I don’t put down anything that does that, it works for you, then good for you!

But today there is still racism , people still have racism, they have classism,they even have faithism, okay I made that up but it’s out there even if it doesn’t have  a name.

Even in your church people think they are holier than you, they look down on others, your not dressed a certain way, not Christian enough, don’t have a title, not Christian enough,your not the right color, you don’t seat in the front row, not Christian enough… Sometimes they forgot they are representing the church and God and yet they are so closed minded they are actually turning people away from the church with their behavior.

There are people that are ashamed of the the church they are at, maybe its because they jump up and shout, talk in tongues and are not like other churches. Do you not tell about God’s great works because you are embarrassed? Maybe that’s not the church for you then, maybe the bible is not for you if you can’t be proud of what you believe in, stand up for what you believe in, be willing to die for what you believe in.

Yes, I go to a loud, yes I mean loud, hand clapping, praise God, talk in tongues, dance in the aisle church and yes I am definitely the minority, but before you judge, you need to let me tell you my testimony, you need to know how God spoke through my Bishop to me, how he healed me, how I was broken and now I am whole.

You need to know how this church opened its arms and took me in, that they became my family, they poured such love onto me and healed my broken heart. Yes, was there prejudice with some people there absolutely, again a lesson I learned from Bishop there are sick people in church, heck, I was sick that’s why I was there.

This place is where I feel at home, this place fills my heart with joy, this place and these people give me a peace I never knew, so yes, I will be telling everyone about my church, my Bishop, my family but most importantly about my God and what he has done in my life and continues to do each and every day.

So today my friends, find a place that fills your soul, take your faith to a new level, don’t be ashamed, share the gift God put in you, let others feel what you feel, be a Paul and tell everyone about what God has done in your life, speak it loud and proud.

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Is karma coming?

Hump day Treadmill Treats

Is there karma?

There are times I think karma doesn’t exist, like after a 24 year verbally abusive marriage when I got no alimony and hardly any child support, where was karma there?

Then supposly he had no money to give to me but recently he redid the whole house, bought new smart tv ‘ s for the whole house and now is talking about leasing a Massarti, really? ? Hello? Karma?? Where are you?

I was mad, yes I know I am suppose to be Christian, blah, blah, blah. I am human first. Sorry I tell it like it is, I was really pissed, where was karma? Why was he winning yet again?
Then I took a breath (sometimes that’s all you need to do step back, take a breath and let it go) and I realized I was sounding like my mother in law, how 40 years later she still is jealous and petty (oh that’s where my ex gets that from? writing teaches you so many things!) Back to the story… she still holds such hatred for my father in law, how he has this and that, a new wife (they have been married 35 years not really new) how they travel, ect. The hate and bitterness just pours out of her.

That scared me straight, no I don’t want to be that women, I needed to remember all of my blessings, I needed to know that yes there is karma and God will bring it on his time and I have to hope I will eventually have a front row seat to see it unfold. That’s all ….I am good, I am blessed, I have my God, my church, I have a good job, great girls and incredible friend’s and family. I am filled with love, peace and joy l am blessed and I should never complain or be jealous.

Well, recently I have been witnessing karma and it is definitely not the kind of karma I would have ever wanted to see to come to pass. He has been pushing his girls away with his controlling, verbally abusive, greater than thou attitude, you can’t do nothing right, I am perfect persona.

Yes, since I am not there anymore and my mini me moved in with me full time, months ago when she realized he was never going to change and took most of his brunt after we got divorced
(okay let’s be honest, also during the whole marriage as well because she was my defenfer, she was my voice for so many years when I didn’t have one and took so many punishments and beatings because of it)

Now my little one, his favorite is now getting all the abuse and now she too is seeing all we went through so she is also pulling away from him.

This is the worst kind of karma and even after all he has done to me I would never wish this on him, losing your children is the very worst karma.

I want my girls to have a relationship with their father, I had such a wonderful father and step father, I want that for them. Even with all that I still try to encourage a relationship between them because I can’t imagine what it would be like not to have a relationship with my girls.

I have never said a bad word about him since our divorce, okay I called him an as*****  once, hello reread the beginning I am human and I do slip and fall. I try my hardest never to talk about him or even ask about him, is it easy? Oh hell no! But I don’t want my girls growing up with two parents talking bad about each other. They are hurt enough I don’t need to add to their pain.

So today my friends, remember you don’t have to say anything, they will learn how people are on their own, you don’t have to wonder if there is karma because the worst of your acts the worst karma is….

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All we need is love

Treadmill Treats Monday message

Love is all you need

Love is one thing we owe to people.
Love is the greatest gift we have and the greatest gift we can share.

Some people are dressed up, with clothes they haven’t paid for, with hatred in their hearts, they are miserable, they have no love in their hearts.
Yet they go around and preach the bible and their faith, when the truth is God said love is the greatest thing, it is the one thing they do not have in their hearts.

Sometimes you are hurt, sometimes people will cut you to the bone and you are full of hatred. You can’t see the lessons life is trying to teach you because you are blinded by hate.

I could have hated the man who raped me, I could have hated my ex husband for the years of verbally abusing me but instead I forgave them, I pray for them, I love them because they are God’s children and I can not move on and get my blessings until I forgive and love them.

Was it easy at first? Oh, hell no why should I love them, what kind of love did they show me? Forgive them really? Why do they deserve it? Did they ever once try to say they were sorry for the pain they caused me? No, not once, so why should I?
Because it is for you not them,
it doesn’t matter if they are sorry, God says you must love even your enemies.

Love teaches you that you can let it go, so that when you see your ex with another, you know you are over it, you know who you are and who’s you are, you know what that other person has, you’ve been there and you no longer ever want to go back!
You need to pray for the new person in their lives as you know the pain that is coming their way, sooner or later.

I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received, be humble, be gentle and be patient. Do not hold onto anger and hatred, let it go, cleanse your heart, move on, forgive and put love in its place.

Love everyone but choose your friends wisely, that means you don’t have to have negative, hateful people in your life, you can still love them, from a far…

Remeber that forgiveness is the oxygen that keeps your relationships alive, it keeps you alive. My grandmother had such hatred and a unforgiving heart her whole life, It made her miserable, it literally sucked the life out of her and when she was around it sucked the life out of everyone around her as well.

So today my friends, remember love makes the world go around, love is a many splendid thing, love is the only thing worth living for, love will fix you, love will fix others, love is God’s greatest gift to us, cherish it, use it often and freely and never forget that God loved us so much he gave us his only begotten son. ..

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The road is always changing

Tuesday Treadmill Treats
The road is always changing

In this long journey I have taken I have realized that even when you think your supposed to go down one road , life switches it up and takes you down a completely different path.

Now you can fight it and will,because most of us don’t like change, we are comfortable with what we know, we like routine, its the why change what’s not broken mentality or you can learn to trust God and say “I have no idea where I am going but I put my life in your hands trusting you will take me where I need to go”

There as been more changes in my life in the last year it has made my head spin and for someone who feared change, at first it was really scary, but I have learned to have undying faith, to believe that I will be okay if I have that faith.

Now is it always easy? Please! No, its not! but change forces you to grow, to see what you are made of, it tests your faith and it will rock you to your core but when you come out on the other side, the view is so much better from where you were before! It will take your breath away!

So today my friends, jump in but make sure you put on your seat belt and your helmet
(you will need it for all the quick stops, narrow corners and new roads you will going on) start the car,  throw it in drive and step on that gas then hold on tight for the ride of your life! Wheeeeeeee!!!

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