Cheaters beware, we are calling you out

Hump day Treadmill Treats
Cheaters beware, we are calling you out!

Yesterday I wrote about a friend who was cheated on, she contacted me because she  knew I was cheated on because of this blog I write. On here I talk about all of my life, the good, the bad and the really ugly, this was the really ugly part.

I was so happy to have seen she called out the cheater in her life publicly, oh yes there it was in black and white for the world to see! I was so happy for her to have that much courage.

I fought with myself if I should write about my cheating ex when it happened. Could I put all of my business out there? Expose my already broken heart to possibly get stomped on yet again? I decided I had to do it, there were women out there who read my stuff and maybe, just maybe this would help them, to know they were not alone, that they would get past this and so I decided to called him out.

It was one of my toughest blogs to write, I felt stupid, like a failure, how could I’ve not know he was cheating on me with not one but 3 women? How could I not know he was leading a double life with a wife and child? Yes, there were signs but I always try to see the best in people and made excuses why 1 + 1 didn’t equal 2.

I held my breath and I wrote it all, all the pain, all the humiliation and all the anger, I called him out on public media.
I got so many calls, texts, emails and Facebook hits, I was overwhelmed. Most were encouraging, but there was definitely some haters, women no less, who said I shouldn’t have put my stuff out there, they were pissed and told me off in no uncertain terms.

That hurt, I was the victim here! What is wrong with you? Why shouldn’t we call these dogs out? What gives them the right to do this again to another unsuspecting victim? No, we need to stand up and call them out.

If I was famous and my boyfriend cheated, you better believe Tmz, the New York Post, Facebook and all of the Internet would know in minutes!
But if your an average Joe you shouldn’t do it? No! We need to take a stand we need to call the cheaters out! Maybe if more of us did this, the cheaters would think twice about cheating and hurting innocent people.
Maybe if there was a consequence for their actions that they would walk away and not hurt a person that way.

I am very proud of my girlfriend for her strength to do this, she will be okay, and maybe just maybe my actions gave her strength to do what she did and I pray her actions give someone else the strength to call out that cheating dog in their life.

Don’t want to be called out? Then don’t do crappie things to others, be responsible for your own actions, simple as that!

So today my friends, do not be ashamed, you’ve done nothing wrong, stand up, stand strong and call out these people, so that others will know and not be taken in to be hurt like this.

Cheaters beware we are coming for you and calling you out!

It doesn’t matter why they cheat, it’s not about you

Tuesday Treadmill Treats
It doesn’t matter why they cheat, it’s not about you.

Since I started writing this blog I have gotten a huge response on my post’s, I am truly grateful that this gift God gave me have touched so many people.

Sometimes I get letters asking for advice, I am no Ann Landers, I fall on my face more than anyone I know, I make bad decisions and I definitely pick the wrong men so when they ask I am incredibly touched that they would want my opinion. The reason I write this is to inspire others to do what they didn’t think they could do and getting these letters touch my soul, I am truly touched so thank you..

This last week alone 3 women reached out to me about a cheating boyfriend, husband, lover, they all wanted to know what they did wrong, why didn’t they see the signs and what I did to get past my situation, that I so publicly went through.

Again I am so not a love expert but this is what I shared with them.

1- First of all, it’s not about you, you can be the best wife or girlfriend, you can keep yourself beautiful, have your home spotless, cook like a chef and supply his every need in the bedroom and yet he will still cheat.
This is a ego thing for him, it has nothing to do with you, he doesn’t feel like a real man inside and constantly needs to feel like the big man in campus over and over again.
No matter how much you feed his ego, he needs it feel it from others, maybe he’s a con man like my ex, this is his job, to con women for his own gain, maybe he likes the thrill of being close to the edge of getting caught, what ever the sick reason is none of them have to do with you!These are his issus not yours! Do not beat yourself up!

2- There are signs, yes they are yet you chose not to see them, you poo poo them away, you make excuses for them, yes 1+1 doesn’t add up to 2 yet…. well you know he has 2 jobs.. He is a good man… insert excuse. Maybe you were blindsided but if you look back with clear eyes there were things that didn’t sit right, that is your intuition, listen to it, it works trust me on this.

3- How did I get over it?… This is huge, huge it’s all about your self worth, what are you worth? Do you love yourself? How much? Is it okay to let someone do this to you? The answer is no! You need to love yourself enough to know that you are a smart, beautiful, kind and sweet women that any other man would be lucky to have you, to cherish the ground you walk on, this is not the right one.

You deserve to be treated like the Queen you are and NOTHING LESS!! Hear me, nothing less! ! There are plenty of fish in the sea why hold on to one that is a snake, beat up, obviously defected, no throw his ass back and keep fishing until you get that prize, award winning one. He’s out there., you know how I know that there are good men out there? Because we are good women and we are out there, so there has to be some good men out there.

It’s okay to be alone, God so many of us are afraid to be alone, treasure this time, learn who you are, what you want, what you like, expand your interests, learn something new, try new things, meet new people, know you are okay being by yourself and will not settle for a man that isn’t going to treat you right! !

Yes it will be hard…. you will cry,you will question everything. You will curse and get mad but then you must choose to go on, learn the lesson, forgive, yes, I said forgive not for him for you, let go of the hate and give it to your higher power whatever that may be and move on.
You have just learned the most valuable lesson of your life, you have learned what your self worth is, you learned that you will never again be treated that way, that you would rather be alone than to sell your soul for a fancy bag, flowers or a warm body in your bed.
You know who you are and that one day you will thank him for making you this strong woman you will become.

So today my friends, remember this has nothing to do with you, this is a lesson and either you can learn from it or you can repeat the same mistake…The choice is yours…The choice has always been yours.

Remember Who I am now..

Tgif Treadmill Treats

Remember who I am now

I have had a lot of changes in the last few years, I have learned and I have grown.
I am a different women that I was that short time ago and I write every day with the hope that what I’ve been through would inspire others in the same situation to make the change.

I am no longer that women with the need to please, I am no longer that meek, afraid girl that would apologize for things I didn’t do because I was afraid of the consequences.

I will no longer let your words effect my heart or my head. The sound of your voice no longer has me shaking with fear, I realized now that all your threats about taking away my girls were just that, empty threats.

I now know that it is your problem that no one can do anything right in your eyes, that you are definitely not in control of everything and when your not you lash out at everyone around you.

I see clearly that you are a control freak, a narrossist, a man with an inferiority complex, mixed in with a napoleon complex . I know now these are all your issues not mine because you have made me strong, you gave me this thick skin, you made me open my eyes to the truth.

You pushed me so much that I learned that when it became so bad I didn’t care about material things, I only cared about my soul and how bad I wanted freedom. I knew what it was like to die a slow death, to cry every day, to be belittle and cursed at, to be called stupid and every other name in the book and I knew I had to leave to save my very life.

Yes, this woman you see now is strong, she knows she can and will do it on her own, she has things now all your money will never buy you, happiness, joy, peace,the love of family and friends.
I know the true value of self and love, I know I am the child of the most high God and you can never win against me again!

I truly feel sorry for you, for your are a bitter, petty man who will never change. But I like unlike you, have forgiven you, I have learned my lessons and moved on to a life I couldn’t even imagine. See you reap what you sow. ….

So if you think you have a fighting chance against me now think again… think long and hard… I’ve had years to toughen up, to become stronger, to learn how to fight from an expert…. and I have my God on my side, I know no weapon formed against me shall prosper, so you bring it on…bring it on..bring it on….

So today my friends, I write this so you will know that you can do this too, you can make a change, you can leave that relationship that is killing you, you are stronger than you think and there is a life out there better than you could ever dream of…I am a living testimony of that.

Do you evangelize?

Treadmill Treats Monday message
Do you evangelize?

You have a lot of excuses out there, why you can’t talk about your faith, it is not politically correct, no one says God anymore, we don’t even say God forbid… ohh don’t mention his name. You have excuses why you can’t help out others, too busy, what have they (insert who’s ever name) done for me lately? What am I going to get out of it?  Excuses after excuses, so is God really a priority in your life?

If you love someone don’t you try to do things that please them? Don’t you tell all your friends?  Sing their praises? Of course you do, so why isn’t the same with your faith?

Do you ask God about your relationship? About your finances? Do you wait to listen for the answers? Or do you think your in control? When you put your plans in the hands of God, it is amazing what will happen, you must let go, have faith and let God.

Ego is such a huge part of human life, you don’t want to feel like the outsider, the freak or better yet a “bible thumper” love that one! So you keep quiet, you don’t tell others of all the wonderful things he has done for you.

Here are eight things you can do and will receive if you start evangelizing to others, okay hold up I know your thinking “what I am not going door to door like those other people are you kidding! ”

No, that is not what I mean, tell others what great things he’s done for you, use the gift he’s given you to help others, volunteer at your church, at a homeless shelter, invite others to your church, write about it sing about it, talk about his name, be proud that you are a child of the most high God.

Give to the kingdom, help out a neighbor, give back to your neighborhood, see all of these things are evangelism and you are doing your part to tell others that God is good…All the time.

8 things about evangelism

1- The harvest is great
There are so many blessings out there for you to receive. If you do it, you will be amazed at the harvest.

2- There are a few laborers
There are not enough people to tell the word to others. We need others to tell what great things,  miracles we have seen him do.

3 – We must pray for laborers
We must get others excited about working for the kingdom.

4-You’ve been sent out as lambs among wolves.
They are so many out there that will put you down, talk bad about you and your religion, yes they will cut you with their words and actions, just remember who’s you are.

5- Don’t be concerned about money and what others say?
They will forever talk, they will say if you a non believer you can have all this money doing this or that. But you know what is right and wrong, you know the word, stand fast on it.

6-  How to conduct yourself in others homes?
Enter and release peace,
Don’t worry about rejection, even if they are unkind, show them what kindness is, be an example.

7- God will provide for you
Do all of these things and God will provide for your every need, you will be blessed beyond your wildness dreams.

8- Healing people through the power of God’s word.
You can’t imagine how many people you are touching, healing through your words, your actions, your touching their souls, showing them how great your faith is, how he healed you, talk about his miracles.

So today my friends,  evangelize, tell others all the great things your God has done, talk about him, loud and proud, show others what it is like to be a believer because at the end the only words you want to hear is “Well done, my child, well done”