Wednesday Treadmill Treats
My most incredible blessing turns 18.
My message to you..
I have always felt blessed even going through my horrible childhood but even then I felt God’s hand in my life.
When I was 21 the doctors found out that I had endometriosis and they told me they wanted to do a hysterectomy on me,they said it didn’t matter because I wouldn’t be able to have children anyway but I had this crazy faith even back then.
I knew I was going to have children, there was nothing more important in my life then to have a child and I knew that God was going to make this possible. Fast forward years later, I got married and we tried to have a baby for 5 years we tried, I went to specialist after specialist and they all said the same thing that I had too much scare tissue and it would be a miracle if I did.
I finally got pregnant and had a miscarriage, we were crushed but I kept praying and than that miracle happened I got pregnant again, you wanted to come out right from the beginning, you was crowing at 7 months, I was put on bedrest, no moving except to go to the bathroom, this almost killed me, I am always on the go!
But I wanted this baby,you, so I did what I was told including waking up every 2 hours to take my medicine, 15 trips to the hospital and too many sleepless nights of worry. But 2 weeks early my incredible blessing was born on this day December 17 , eighteen years ago at 10:48 am weighing 5 lbs 5 oz.
I can’t tell you how happy I was to hold this miracle in my arms God had blessed me with a healthy baby girl which we named you Victoria Lauren after your dad’s grandma Virginia and my dad Louis, you were perfect and still are in my eyes.
I look back and can’t believe it’s been 18 years already, I can remember as if it was yesterday the first day of kindergarten as I cried as I walked you to your class. I remember being your room mom, taking you to dance classes, cheering you on, I remember baking cookies with you while we did homework.
So many memories of the park,the parties, the beach, of teaching you how to ride a motorcycle, play poker and all the laughs making lasagna with all of your friends in the house,singing off key in the car.
I remember as you got older how you became the voice I didn’t have against your dad, how you would stand up and tell him that he was treating me so bad,how many beatings you got for saying the truth, how you would eat dinner in seconds because you knew he would start with me and when you would stand up to him how you would get punishment and sent to your room without eating, so you learned to eat fast..
These times I would fight with him not to punish you or beat you and then I would get a verbal lashing, these are not happy times for us and I am sorry I was not stronger for you but it made our bond even tighter. I prayed through your teenage years as you were wild and hanging with a crowd I didn’t like, you were tough on the outside yet have this huge heart of gold.
You pushed me away yet I held on tight, I told you all the good you had inside of yourself , all the things you could and would be, all the things you didn’t hear from your dad. I knew you were a chosen child God had placed here for a reason and I was always going to be in your corner.
You were the one who told me to leave and be happy, it was because of your words that I had the courage to leave, together with her sister we made a new life and yes God answered my prayers, you straighten out and now you are an incredible young woman with a smart, streetwise head on her shoulders.
You are not only beautiful on the outside but just as beautiful in the inside and I am so proud of you and this life you will be embarking on.
I cry as I write this because I know you will do big things with your life as your a survivor and you now know your worth and will never settle for less,you have seen your fair share of pain in your life and had lost way too many people in such a short time and that has made you realize that life is too short and you need to make the most of every moment. .. but all of this that you’ve gone through has made you this wonderful women you are today..
I love you so much there is not enough words to express my love for you…
So I will tell you to soar… fly on the wings of the angels that keep you safe and that first put you in my arms. .. you are meant to soar my child…
I will always be here cheering you on, always ready to hold your hand or for a shoulder to cry if you need it….
This is the beginning of your incredible life….live it large!
With all my love,
Now, always and forever