What is true love?

Tuesday Treadmill Treats

What is true love?

We’ve all hear the old saying…
Love is patient, love is kind …
But do you really have a pure heart when your in love with someone? Will you sacrifice your own happiness for theirs? Do you truly want them happy?

I recently was speaking to my high school sweethearts sister and  I said I would want her brother’s happy even if that meant it was with someone else, even at the expense of my own happiness, I would want to see him happy because he is a good man and he deserves it.

She said to me..that is the essence of true love…that is the purest of love…the love you have for my brother is what true love should always be…unconditional, with an open heart, and always giving of yourself.

To a lot of people that is hard…have someone happy when your not? Sacrificing for another? We live in a “me” world, me first everyone else behind me…
Some people don’t even put their children first let alone their spouse or lovers. They can’t imagine putting someone’s needs above their own.

Love is giving it your all and not expecting anything in return, it’s loving someone so much, that you will literally do anything for them, their needs over yours, you think of their feelings first, you are even willing to bow out in pursuit of their happiness.

I never really thought of it that way before, I knew I will always love this man, that he would be in my life one way or another but did I have the capacity to love in the truest sense of the word…the love the word talks about and teaches you?

Yes, I do…I learned that no matter if we were together or not, I wanted him in my life, that I prayed for his happiness, that he would find love and peace in his life, with me or without me it didn’t matter, all that matter was his happiness.

I have learned to put my girls needs over mine since they were born, that is easy for a mother…but for another person without anything in return?
I have grown and learned so much these last 3 years and yes, I can love unconditionally, I learned to love people for who they are, in their souls, not looking at their faults as we all have them.

Yes and I have learned what true love actually means…to love someone else with a pure heart….

So today my friends, love with a pure heart, not for what someone can do for you, or what you can get out of it for yourself but just for the love itself, in its purest form..it is then you will know you have arrived in a place of joy.

“Be the change you want to see”

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To my mom….

Treadmill Treats Monday message

To my mom…

Yesterday was mother’s day and 4 years since I have lost my mom.
There is not a day that goes by that I don’t miss her but on mother’s day it hits you that much harder as everyone is celebrating their mother and yours is no longer here to call, to send flowers to, to take out to dinner and if you could have one more mother’s day with her you would give anything….

Being a mother doesn’t come with a manual, you do what you were taught, you wing it, and you pray you are doing the right thing. You have no idea if they are listening or if your doing it right, you are free styling, big time.

My mom came from a generation that didn’t “talk”about their feelings, a stop whining, pull up your boot straps generation. So we didn’t talk about deep things, we talked about surface things, the weather, the neighbors, life in general. I wanted my girls to talk to me, tell me about their troubles with girls, with boyfriends, with how they truly feel. I am open and honest with them and I know they are that way with me.

I loved my mom and learned so many things from her and her character, that I have passed on to my girls. 

To own what you do no matter what it is, to be compassionate to others less fortunate, to have a big heart, to be a hard worker, to feel blessed no matter how hard the situation is. The biggest thing I learned from her is that you can change and learn from your mom, the things she couldn’t or didn’t do in your life.

Her own mom was cold, mean, a man hater and was the most negative person I ever met. She spoke bad about my grandfather at every turn, she cursed all men, she hated the world for her circumstances and never stopped complaining about it.

My mom decided she wasn’t going to be like her, she and my dad had the best divorce, she never spoke a bad word about him, she was always positive and kind and never complained no matter how bad it got and it got bad, we were poor, really poor.

She decided that she wasn’t going to do that to me and she changed what she was taught.
I decided I was going to talk to my girls and I chose to change what I was taught.

Just because your a “mother ” doesn’t mean you do everything right, and it definitely doesn’t mean you have to keep the generational teachings going when they clearly don’t work,  you chose to try to do better, be better. ..and one day maybe my girls will look back at what I did and they will chose to do something better than I did with their own children.

So I would like to thank my mother for all the wonderful lessons she taught me but the biggest one was to chose your life and how you want to live it.
Make the best out of any situation, it’s up to you…and look at that, here I am passing forward her words to all of you…

So today my friends, honor your mother’s, tell them you love them, bring then flowers while they can still smell them, learn their lessons and know you can chose the ones that work for you and your family because we are all just winging it.

“Be the change you want to see”

Coming soon..look for my new book The blessing in disguise
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Life is too short not to have fun

Tgif Treadmill Treats

Life is too short not to have fun

The other day was my baby’s birthday and she turned 16. I realized how fast times flies by, in a blink of an eye, you turn around and 16 years go by…

I live life to the fullest now, I enjoy every moment, I can laugh at myself, look stupid in public and laugh, big and loud (something I couldn’t do for years! )

So when me and Sarah started singing in the car, like we always do and then decided to make this week’s Treadmill Treats YouTube video of it, I was game!
We have some of our best times in the car singing loud and off key to our favorite songs.
I can’t remember the last time I had so much fun, we were into it and it shows…

So what people are looking, so what we are not Whitney, so what we might look crazy to others, we are having a blast and that is how I live my life now. I am no longer worried about what people think, that was my ex’s biggest thing
“What will people think? ”
“Don’t laugh loud, don’t tell dirty jokes, don’t do this…don’t do that, what would people think? ”

Who cares!! Am I hurting anyone? Am I committing a crime? Is the world going to come to an end if I act a fool?
No! It’s not, so who cares…not me …not anymore, I am having too much fun!

I refuse to miss a moment, by being too busy trying to be someone I am not, too busy working all the time to take time to play, to be with my girls any chance I get, to do whatever with them.

No, life is not about how much money you die with, how big your house was or the fancy car you drove, it’s not about what the Jones thought of you, it is about who you made laugh, how good of a friend you were, we’re you present in each and every incredible moment God gave us here, trying to be the best person you could be…

So today my friends, live large, laugh often, dance in your kitchen, sing in your car with your kids…take time out to enjoy the small things…be present in every moment because life is too short not to have fun.

“Be the change you want to see”

Coming soon..look for my new book The blessing in disguise
Selling on my website

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how quick negative thoughts will change your mind

Treadmill Treats Monday message

How quick negative thoughts will change your mind…

I am always writing about being positive, keeping the faith, keeping your eye on your goal.
I tell you nothing changes when nothing changes  (my bestie, jill’s favorite saying ) change a thought, focus on the positive but as I also tell you I am human and even though for the most part I do as I say ….there are some times I fallshort of my own advice.

So when I received my book in the mail the other day you would have thought I would have been through the roof…all my hard work, here it was finally, done, this is it…..yet I wasn’t. I had all these doubts, it’s too big, who’s going to read it? Am I joking that I will become a New York Times bestselling author?  I don’t speak or write proper English, I am no Toni Morrison. …please girl get a grip, it’s all a pipe dream….

Yes, I went from… I have sick faith to who are you kidding you can’t do this, in one point one seconds. So I asked yet again for a sign… yes I know last week I asked for a sign and Bishops sermon was “God said don’t ask for more signs” 
(I couldn’t make this up if I tried)

Still I needed a confirmation, I  did tell I was hard headed didnt  I?
I was running scared, this was too real for me….
And so I went to church last night and this was the message….. read above statement “I can’t make this up…”

In the bible the people of Egypt followed Moses , they believed in him they saw him part the red sea, they saw God fed the millions, he gave them water out of a rock, over and over God proved himself to them with miracles no less, but when two verses later they came with a bad report and all of a sudden they cried out to God not believing in him, yes, the change was that quick, one verse they believed and two verses later they changed their minds and we’re running scared not believing.
One word from someone and that fast they went from positive thoughts to negative thoughts.

Yes, that’s all it takes for the tiny seed of doubt to take root in your mind and all of a sudden your doubting everything you believed before. See what the Bible talks about that words have power …the power to change your life….

Even I who preaches positively every day can some times slip and fall and let in the seeds of doubt but I know that I will not let these seeds germinate I will pull them out and spray my garden with sunshine and positive energy and I know that if sometimes a weed does get through I will be that quick to pull it out as I know how fast one weed can take over your whole garden…

So today my friends, remember words have power…choose then carefully…. they can change your life for better or for worse…the choice is yours.

“Be the change you want to see”

Coming soon..look for my new book The blessing in disguise
Selling on my website

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I was wrong

Thursday Treadmill Treats
I was wrong….

I am big on telling everyone your never to old to learn something new and your never to big to admit your mistakes.

Today I will practice what I preach by raising my hand to say I was wrong and I am sorry. My cousin called me out yesterday, she said she knows me and knows my heart is pure but when she read my blog yesterday, if she didn’t know me she would have thought otherwise.

She went on to tell me that when a person is clinically depressed or has a mental disorder and you mix it with over use of prescription drugs and alcohol, sometimes the things that work for one person doesn’t work for another. She also said they get to a point where they feel they can no longer go on and as easy as it is for me to say change your thoughts, change your attitude, it cannot work for them as they need more than that.

They need intense and sometimes long amounts of therapy and the help of medication to get them to change. Her morib messages were a cry for help and her reaction to me was out of defense….hurt people, hurt people…but did that mean I should write her off?

Wow…I never looked at it that way…yes, I am strong, I believe that anyone can change anything in their life if they truly want to…but maybe if I stepped back without emotions I could have saw this was way beyond my “words of wisdom” and here I was judging her for not trying  a different path.
I still a firm believer of mind over matter but as my cousin pointed out when you have a mental condition your mind is no longer yours and so I apologize for my ignorance.

I am so grateful for my cousin and others who call me out but most of all I am grateful to know I can learn a lesson from it, that I am never to big in my own head to admit my mistakes and to say I am sorry.

So today my friends, I am sorry if I came off as a pompous ass yesterday, I am sorry if I couldn’t see it from someone else view and that I was so fast to write someone off just because I was sick of listening to them complain about an issue they obviously can’t change on their own.
I truly hope my friend gets the medical help she needs before it’s too late and that we all can learn something from this as well…never be to fast to judge, never be to closed minded to hear and learn a lesson and never be to big to apologize…

“Be the change you want to see”

Coming soon..look for my new book The blessing in disguise
Selling on my website

Www.treadmilltreats.com

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