Can you handle the truth?

Thursday Treadmill Treats

Can you handle the truth?

 

There are some people that can’t handle the truth, they might ask you for your opinion yet they think that theirs is better, so why ask?

 

I was like that, my best friend is gay and when we would go shopping I would ask his opinion, when he would say he didn’t like something I would ask “Why?  What’s wrong with it? How come?”  He would get mad and say “Bitch, do you want my opinion or what?  I don’t like it”

 

Well did I? Yes, but on my terms, because I liked, it so why didn’t he?

Through out our friendship I can always count on him to be brutally honest with me even when I didn’t want to hear it and even when it hurts, I know he is honest.

 

But there are so many people like me, who want advice yet can’t handle the truth. We sometimes can even see the truth in ourselves

I couldn’t admit I had a drinking or drug problem for years, even when I was waking up on the floor with vomit all around me, hungover yet again, no problem, I still went to work, I was good.

 

I couldn’t admit my ex was verbally abusive even to myself, that would mean I failed, that I picked the wrong one and I couldn’t face the truth for years.

 

When everyone said Mr con artist was just that ….no, I said your just haters that I am so happy,  no even though the signs were there and my intuition was screaming I couldn’t admit the mistake I had made.

 

We can’t handle the truth because of our ego, that would mean we didn’t pick right or do the right thing, God for bid we make a mistake and the world sees it! How could we ever redeem ourselves in people’s eyes?

 

I write this blog and I am brutally honest now, I fall,

I do stupid things, I make mistakes…. huge mistakes, yet I am always trying to learn the lessons from them.

 

I can handle the truth because I know there is a lesson in it and so I put it all out there so that others might see themselves and know it’s alright to fail and to not be afraid of the truth.

 

So today my friends, think about if you can really handle the truth?

 

Can you take off the rose colored glasses you see yourself through and stop worrying about what others will think or say? Look the truth in the face, stand up straight, admit your failure, own it, find the lesson, forgive yourself and let it go and move on….because yes, sometimes the truth hurts  but sometimes the truth will set you free!

 

“Be the change you want to see”

 

” And just when the caterpillar thought his life was over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

 

***Now available***

My new book The blessing in Disguise

Selling on tmy website:

 

Www.treadmilltreats.com

 

And on Amazon.com

 

http://www.am6azon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_12?qid=1434452632&sr=8-12&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&keywords=the+Blessing+in+Disguise

 

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Being open to new experiences

Hump day Treadmill Treats

 

Being open to new experiences

 

I remember when I use to live my life in fear. I was afraid of change, so much so, I stayed in a horrendous situation for years because I was too afraid of the unknown.

 

What I’ve come to learn is that change is good, it takes you out of your comfort zone and shakes you up. It keeps you on your toes and makes you feel alive.

 

There are so many things I’ve done in the last 4 years that I would have told you, you were crazy if you thought I would do them years before.

 

Starting by leaving my marriage, to doing a marathon and then a triathlon, especially because of the fact I hated running and I suck at swimming.

I never thought I would get a tattoo for that matter or be so active in a church, ha, that is a funny one even to me!

 

I was afraid to speak in front of people, deathly afraid but I’ve learned to overcome it so that I might give my message to others.

 

I use to be shy, okay you can stop laughing now…Yes, me with the big mouth.

Really I was, especially in large groups and yet I’ve overcome that fear as well.

 

Last night I was picked to do a focus group on the Democratic debates. There was 28 of us and many, many behind the scenes people who were there to  film it live for Fox news.

 

Now if you would have told me years ago I’d be doing this I would have run crying but here I was stepping out of my box yet again, doing something I was terrified of.

 

And guess what? I did it I talked to a room full of strangers, on live TV and I didn’t die…I actually said my opinion and sounded intelligible, imagine that?

 

I actually had a good time…who would have thought? Definitely not me three years ago.

 

I am always telling you that you can do it, how do I know this? Because if I can, you can. I am you and you are me. We are human and we’re scared sometimes, we don’t think we can do it, we don’t like change, we are afraid of the unknown.

But I’m here to tell you it’s not so bad… you just have to be open to new experiences.

 

So today my friends, throw your fear away, step out in the unknown, try new experiences and new things. Stretch yourself beyond your limits, beyond what you thought was possible. It is only then that you will see your true strength, what you are truly made of and what you’ve been missing all along.

 

“Be the change you want to see”

 

” And just when the caterpillar thought his life was over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

 

***Now available***

My new book The blessing in Disguise

Selling on tmy website:

 

Www.treadmilltreats.com

 

And on Amazon.com

 

http://www.am6azon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_12?qid=1434452632&sr=8-12&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&keywords=the+Blessing+in+Disguise

 

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I choose…

Tuesday Treadmill Treats

 

I choose…

 

I am human, I fall apart, I cry, I get depressed, I feel hopeless, I ask why?

 

But I don’t chose to stay in that state. Yes, there are times when it gets hard, when you think the world is coming against you, that you have no friends, that no one could possibly know what you are going through….

But each and every day I wake up and I get to choose.

 

I choose to give thanks to God for waking me up, I choose to be grateful for what I have and not focus on what I don’t, I chose not to dwell on all that is falling apart in my life but see what is good instead…see it is a daily choice.

 

I choose every day not to fall into the hole of drugs and alcohol again. I choose not to intentionally hurt anyone, I choose to try to be a better person, to be a blessing to others.

 

I choose to be transparent, I choose to live my life without lies, without skeletons in my closet.

I chose to put my whole life out there to show others that it’s okay to fail, to fall on your face, to keep going in spite of the pain.

 

I chose not to be petty, even when others are being petty to you. I chose to show love even when non is shown to me.

I chose to forgive even though my heart may be breaking, even when they shown no remorse because I need to keep growing and I know I cannot grow with hatred in my heart.

 

There are some hard choices in life, there are some you rather not make, but you must, because this is your life, you get to chose how to live it.

 

You can either live it big or go home… you can either hate or love…you can either forgive or be bitter…you can either sit around and cry poor me or you can say I am a surviver, the choice is yours.

 

So today my friends, I am here telling you in spite of all the pain, of all the lies and deceit, in spite of losing friends and hard times, in spite of life knocking me down yet again, I am choosing to get back up, to say.. is that all you got? Bring it on!

To continue to do my best and keep going, to pray and praise through the storm because I get to chose…and so do you…choose wisely…remember we olny have one life to live…

 

“Be the change you want to see”

 

” And just when the caterpillar thought his life was over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

 

***Now available***

My new book The blessing in Disguise

Selling on tmy website:

 

Www.treadmilltreats.com

 

And on Amazon.com

 

http://www.am6azon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_12?qid=1434452632&sr=8-12&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&keywords=the+Blessing+in+Disguise

 

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The power of prayer

Treadmill Treats Monday Message

 

I have been writing all month about October, which is Domestic violence month.

 

Today I wanted to write about prayer and the power of prayer. There may be alot of you out there in the same situation as I was in, your broken down, you haven’t worked, he pays all the bills, he takes care of everything because he has to control it all.

 

He’s told you over and over you can never make it without him and over time you believe it…

Your lost and broken, you feel helpless, you think your stuck…but I am here to tell you…what an amazing life you can have if you believe…if you pray…if for you believe.

 

I can olny tell you what worked for me, I can only tell you my story but my story is your story…I just chose to believe all things can change if I gave it all over to him. I chose to walk out on faith, to have no job, just starting a new business, to do so many things I didn’t think I could.

 

I didn’t let doubt or nah sayers deter me, I didn’t listen to that little voice in my head tell me I am crazy? How am I supposed to take care of me and my 2 girls?

That this will never work.

 

No, I pushed all of them and even my voices away and I believed and guess what?

It’s been 2 years and I am doing it, is it always easy? Oh hell no! But I don’t worry, I don’t lose sleep, I no longer lose hair or weight over stressing because I trust him and I have peace, it will alright, he’s got this, he’s got me and he’s has shown me time after time, he’s got this…

 

Just this week my ex is taking me back to court and my attorney needed 250.00, on top of the money I owe my best friend for the “free” trips I use to get flying in his airline, since they retroactive it back 30 days and now I have to pay that money, my roof is leaking again, my best friend “borrowed” my new air conditioning money and I have no air and no best friend anymore….I could go on and on…like all of us when all things seem to be coming at us at once.

 

We can’t breathe, we think why is this happening to us? Aren’t we trying to do the right thing?

But I chose to bow my head, I chose to praise him for my blessings that he has given me, I chose to pray my way through the storm and believe it will be aright and I am at peace even with all of this coming at me.

 

Yesterday when I went to the mail box there was some check for I have no idea what, class action suit for 250.00 just the amount I needed to give my attorney!

 

So today my friends, I am here to tell you, I don’t need to worry and neither do you, he’s got this, if you step out in faith, you can change your whole life, you can do this, look I did it and I am no better than you, no smarter, no better off.

 

I just had a unstoppable faith and I wanted it so bad. Yes, I was afraid of change but not more than I was afraid of staying and dying a slow death there. You got this believe in prayers and the power of prayer, it can and will change your life.

 

“Be the change you want to see”

 

” And just when the caterpillar thought his life was over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

 

***Now available***

My new book The blessing in Disguise

Selling on tmy website:

 

Www.treadmilltreats.com

 

And on Amazon.com

 

http://www.am6azon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_12?qid=1434452632&sr=8-12&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&keywords=the+Blessing+in+Disguise

 

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The effects of verbal abuse

Thursday Treadmill Treats

The effects of domestic violence

October is National Domestic Violence month and I will be writing about this unspeakable injustice all month….please reach out to someone who you may know is suffering today…

There is an old saying “stickss and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me”

That song is not true and it was obviously made up by someone who was never verbally abused. Words can cut you to the bone just as surely as if you were cut with a knife. The scars from the abuse will last a lot longer than the scars from an actual beating, they scar your heart and haunt your mind for years.

Even when you think you have moved on, changed your life, something will bring you right back to that moment and you will remember their words as clear as if they said them to you yesterday. You will second guess yourself, you will start believing all they have said to you and about you.

Sometimes they will haunt you forever.

“You are stupid, you cant make it without me, you cant do anything right, why do you always twist my words around, its because of you I act this way, I was just kidding, cant you take a joke, your worthless”

These words and many others, change who you are, it doesn’t matter if your a college graduated, a high school drop out, a business person or blue collar worker, verbal abusers don’t see color, gender or education. They are bully’s and they want to have control over you and your life and will stop at nothing until they get it.

They break you down little by little until you wake up one morning not knowing who you are, not liking who you are and believing all that has been said about you is true.

According to Patricia Evans the leading expert in verbal abuse, the long term effects on verbal abuse is overwhelming on both men and women and the effects on children can last a lifetime. Victims of verbal abuse may:

*Have difficulty forming  conclusions and making. decisions

*Feel or accept that there is something wrong with them on a basic level (selfish, too sensitive, “crazy”, etc.)

*Analyze and relive abusive  experiences to see where  they made mistakes

*Doubt their ability to.  communicate

*Experience self-doubt, low self-confidence, and lose. spontaneity and/or  enthusiasm

*Believe and say things like  “Everything will be better  when the baby is born,” or  “Everything will improve  after he finds a job.”

The effects of verbal abuse on children ages 18 and  under include substance  abuse (more prevalent in  males) physical aggression, delinquency, and social  problems. The more verbally aggressive the parent, the more pronounced the  problem.

A study of physical health cconsequences of physical  and psychological abuse  concludes:

Verbal abuse is strongly cassociated with chronic  pain, migraine and frequent headaches, stammering,  ulcers, spastic colon, and frequent indigestion,  diarrhea, or constipation  along with many stress-related heart conditions.

The psychological effects of verbal abuse include:

fear and anxiety, depression, stress and PTSD, intrusive memories, memory gap  disorders, sleep or eating  problems, hyper-vigilance and exaggerated  startle responses, irritability anger issues, alcohol and  drug abuse, suicide, self-mutilation, and assaultive behaviors.

There are many other studies  out there that will give you  facts and numbers, but they  can never truly know the pain  you feel when you are a victim of verbal abuse. You feel you  will never do anything right,  that if “only” you could make them happy, you walk on  eggshells not knowing what  person they will be that day.

You wonder how they can say  they love you yet treat you this way?

If they are your parent,  you wonder why they don’t  love you, your constantly  running after their love and  acceptance, you will take it  into adulthood and lot of the  time continue the vicious cycle.

You feel unlovable, unworthy,  and you question everything  you do and say. Until the day you realize it is  about them and not about you, this is their issue, not yours. No matter how “ good” you are, how “right” you do things, it  will never be enough for them, they will find fault in the  perfect.

They need to put you down in order to make themselves feel better, they are lacking but  they put the spot light on you, so you don’t see their faults, it has nothing to do with you.

Get out, get help, do research, talk to others who have been  there, start to love yourself  again. You are worthy of being treated well, until you realize  this, they will continue to have power over you even 40 years  from now.

Keep saying “not my monkeys… Not my circus..”

“Be the change you want to see

” And just when the caterpillar thought his life was over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

***Now available***

My new book The blessing inDisguise

Selling on my website:

Www.treadmilltreats.com

And on Amazon.com

http://www.am6azon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_12?qid=1434452632&sr=8-12&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&keywords=the+Blessing+in+Disguise

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October is National Domestic Violence month

Tuesday Treadmill Treats

 

October is National Domestic Violence Month

 

We all know that October is Breast Cancer Awareness month but not many people know that it is also National Domestic Violence month as well.

 

Both subjects are near and dear to my heart as both my mom and my aunt had breast cancer and I am a surviver of Domestic violence. We need to shine the light into the darkness that is so many women’s lives, women that deal with domestic violence day after day.

 

This month I will try to inform you with facts, statics and stories that will shock you, make you cry and hopefully open your eyes and heart up to try to help others that are in this horrible situation.

 

Now you might be jaded, you might say why don’t these women just leave? Come on, grow some and leave the bastard! If it was only that easy…

 

Some of you think this olny happens to poor, uneducated women, again your wrong, it happens to all of us, no matter what your economic background or education.

 

We can be your neighbor, the one with the big house and the “perfect” family, we can be your doctor, your office worker, your friend, your sister…we are everywhere, we are just experts at hiding and fronting for you, so that you have no idea what’s going on behind that closed door.

 

Also most people don’t think verbal abusive is domestic violence but again you are wrong, it is definitely domestic violence just without the outward scars, the scars we have are on our hearts, in our minds, they effect our thoughts, our children, our pain just doesn’t come with a black and blue you can see.

 

If you call someone names, tell them they are stupid, put them down, ridicule or belittle someone that is abusive, just as if you struck someone, you are a abusiver plain and simple there is no sugar coating…

 

“Oh it’s just words, words can’t hurt, get over it”

It doesn’t work that way, we don’t just get over it, the words may stop but the scars are there permanently.

 

My girls have been changed, he changed who they are with his words, they will never be the same, they will carry this into their adult lives and maybe into their future  relationships.

 

Even after the scare heals, it is still there to see.

There is a memory of it permanently there for you to see, it may fade over time, it may not be so noticeably but it will never completely go away.

 

So today my friends,

I hope this month’s national domestic violence campaign will open your eyes to things you may have not notice before and reach out and help someone even if it’s a kind word, they may have not heard one in a long time.

 

Tell them your there for them, as they feel so isolated and alone, tell them how smart you think they are and that you believe in them. They don’t believe in themselves anymore and haven’t in a long time.

 

Build them up as every day they get torn down…

Volunteer at a women’s shelter, donate, some women have no access to funds, to the bank accounts, they have nothing and if they have the courage to leave it’s with nothing but her life…if she is lucky.

 

Be the change you want to see, change the world one kind act at a time…

 

 

” And just when the caterpillar thought his life was over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

 

***Now available***

My new book The blessing in Disguise

Selling on my website:

 

Www.treadmilltreats.com

 

And on Amazon.com

 

http://www.am6azon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_12?qid=1434452632&sr=8-12&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&keywords=the+Blessing+in+Disguise

 

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Another year has gone by. . .

Treadmill Treats Monday Message

 

Another year had gone by…

 

As I sit here thinking about another birthday that has came and went, I cant help but to reflect on the last year of my life…

That this stage of our lives every year is a gift and each year teaches us so many lessons and this year was no different.

 

There were so many changes…. again… some good…some definitely not so good.

 

I was a person who hated change, I was afraid of change but all that has went out the window as the last three years taught me, you don’t know anything except that change comes, ready or not.

 

This year I’ve come to realize that not everyone you thought would be there for you, will…

not even your “all of your best friends”

Not even with a phone call on your birthday!

 

I learned to except the things I cannot change, like the above…

 

I’ve learned that no matter how much you might want to hold on to relationships, it’s time to let go and move on, not everyone is there for the whole ride.

 

I’ve learned that if you have faith anything can happen.. like getting my new home and remodeling it within a month, finishing my book and learning I have to depend on myself and my God.

 

I’ve learned that my girls are my biggest supporters and that maybe I am doing something right because they are such beautiful souls.

 

I’ve learned that just when   you thought this was your season and your life was looking good, life will throw you some stuff that will knock you to your knees, that when you thought the pain and betrayal of lots of “friends” had you out for the count, that I could pray my way through the storm and find a peace like I have never known.

 

I learned to praise him for the blessings I do have, appreciate them and know that it could have been another way.

 

I’ve learned that these are all lessons that you need to learn,  I’ve learned to listen for the signs, follow my intuition and know that

“all things works for my good and have been called according to his purpose”

 

I learned to have a faith like I have never known, to stand in the middle of a turbulent storm as things are going crazy all around me and know that I am okay, he’s got me and that I will get through it and become stronger because of it.

 

This year has taught me to know my own strength and his…

 

So, today my friends,  I tell you that I will go into next year smarter, wiser, with more faith, more love and with an open heart.

 

No matter how many times I may have been hurt, how many times I have lied to, let down and no matter how many things life will throw at me, I will still believe anything is possible if you just believe….

 

” And just when the caterpillar thought his life was over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

 

***Now available***

My new book The blessing in Disguise

Selling on my website:

 

Www.treadmilltreats.com

 

And on Amazon.com

 

http://www.am6azon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_12?qid=1434452632&sr=8-12&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&keywords=the+Blessing+in+Disguise

 

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I didn’t know my own strength

Thursday Treadmill Treats

 

I didn’t know my own strength

 

I love Whitney Houston song “I didn’t know my own strength”

I can’t tell you how many times over and over that I listened to this song…it was my mantra for the longest time.

 

There were so many times that this song applied to my life…for those of you who don’t know this amazing song, it goes like this…

 

“Lost touch with my soul, I had no where to turn, I had no where to go, lost sight of my dream, thought it would be the end of me.

 

I thought I never make it  through, I had no hope to hold on to….

I thought I would break…I didn’t know my own strength…

And I crashed down and I tumbled but I did not crumble, I got through all the pain….I didn’t know my own strength…

Survived my darkest hour, my faith keep me alive, I picked myself back up, hold keep my head held high, I was not built to break… I didn’t know my own strength

 

Found hope in my heart,

I found the light to light my way out of the dark, found all that I need here inside of me

 

I thought I’d never find my way, I thought I never lift that weight, I thought I would break… I didn’t know my own strength”

 

There have been many times in your life like mine, that your hurt, that the people you thought you could trust, betrayed you, broke your heart. You hate your life, your circumstances, your battling a demon.

 

Your in a dark place, you don’t think you can go on one more day, you can’t see the sun from the dark place your living in now.

 

Your on the floor crying out to a God you might not even believe in because you don’t know what else to do…who eles to turn to…you feel so alone and lost.

 

I’ve been there…I know your pain because it was mine pain. You didn’t think you had the strength to go on…yet something inside of you pushes you to go on, that tiny little voice says don’t quit, some how you hold on even if it’s to a faith as small as a mustard seed, you hold on…

 

And amazingly you get through it, one day at a time, sometimes one minute at a time until one day the sun starts to come out, you smile again, your hurt doesn’t overwhelme your life, you can survive, you will survive….and you realize you didn’t know your own strength.

 

You realize you were stronger than you thought you were, that others thought you were. Yes, you stumbled but you didn’t crumble, you were down but not out…

 

You stand up victorious, your back alittle straighter, head held higher…you got this, you did it, you can get passed anything life has to throw at you…

 

I remember my mantra for years…I survived my mom’s cancer, my dad death, my rape, an abortion and a suicide attempt all before my 16 birthday.

 

If I could survive all of that, I could survive anything until life threw me some more… lots,lots more but guess what?

I survived that too!

 

Remember that old song “Hit me with your best shot”

Go on, do it, I will keep getting up and do it with a smile on my face and praise on my lips, I will be praying though the storm.

See that’s me and it can be you too if you choose to believe in yourself.

 

So today my friends, believe and know you have strength that you never thought you had in you, you got this…this doesn’t have you.

 

Be the change you want to see”

 

” And just when the moth thought his life was over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

 

***Now available***

My new book The blessing in Disguise

Selling on my website:

 

Www.treadmilltreats.com

 

And on Amazon.com

 

http://www.am6azon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_12?qid=1434452632&sr=8-12&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&keywords=the+Blessing+in+Disguise

 

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You have to do what you have to do to get by

Hump day Treadmill Treats

 

You have to do what you have to do to get by.

 

There are some days I don’t even know how I have the energy to get through.

If you read my blog, you know I am a single mom of 2 girls, I get barely any child support and so I have to work, alot… to make ends meet.

 

But I am nor have I ever been afraid of work,

I learned my work ethic from my parents especially my mother who worked the night shift in a dinner for 18 years, serving mostly drunks night after night.

 

I learned you don’t sit back and expect to get things handed to you, you have to work and work hard for them.

I can remember any free time they had, they would work on our broken down farm house we had.

After working all night, she would come home change her clothes and help my dad work on the house.

 

I remember thinking how does she do it? I know now, it’s because you need to do what you need to do to get by, you don’t think about it, you just do it.

 

I keep reinventing myself to try to make money.

I wake up every morning at 5 am, I am at the gym by 5:30, I write my blog, edit it and post it on four sites all before 8 am.

I then do professional organizing, I recently  added personal assistant to the mix, then decided to help people with their electronics to try to make more money. I recently added website building and social media to the mix.

I am self taught at all of these things.

 

I do hair at night and I whenever I can, I do focus groups or secret shopping and before the night is over, I post my blog on the 5 other sites I blog on and then promote my book and business.

 

There is nothing I won’t do to put food on my table for my girls. I am not to “proud” to do a job to keep a roof over our heads, if that includes working 16 hour days so be it.

 

I worked like this while I was married for my ex for free, all while feeling like I was in prison, this is a piece of cake. I get to come home to a peaceful home, filled with love and laughter, are you kidding? This is easy! I am truly free now!

 

Don’t say you can’t do it, that you don’t have time, you can make time for all other kinds of things, stop watching TV like I did, that frees up 4 hours a night.

 

I am constantly thinking of what I can do next. One day (soon) I would like to be able to do one job, just write and speak and I will get there but until then I will do what I have to do.

 

So today my friends, remember there is nothing you can’t do if you put your mind to it…you can do it, yes, sometimes it might feel impossible but what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.

 

If I can do this, you definitely can do this, just never give up…just believe. If you have to do it one day at a time, just do it. Keep your eye on the prize no matter how far away it may seem, no matter how far fetched it may seem, you can get there…you will get there if you just believe….

 

Tuesday Treadmill Treats

 

You can’t fool me

 

You can’t fool me, see I have been there, I have done that and I have put it all out there for the world to see.

 

There are no secrets, no skeletons in my closet, I have nothing to be afraid of and so I can tell you, I know what you are trying to pull.

 

When my kids try to get over on me, are you kidding? I invented half of those lies, I snuck out, I partied all night, no you can’t fool me there is nothing they are getting over on me…

 

When friends lie to me, do you not think I know? I was an expert liar in my marriage, I had alot of practice, 24 years of practice, I know that lie because I spoke them.

 

Do you think when people tell me their clean that I don’t know the signs. Please, I was an addict, I know the sneakiness, the motions, the jitters, the jonesing, I was there I know you can’t fool me.

 

I know that your putting on a mask of perfection to show the world because your too afraid to be yourself.

 

I know this because I should have gotten an Academy award for my performance of being the perfect family in the mist of disfunction.

 

Do you not think I know how to hide secrets?

I know when your hiding one because I had so many I was hiding, sometimes I couldn’t remember which lie I was telling and to whom.

 

The only person you think your fooling is yourself,

if someone has been there they know what your hiding and isn’t it tiring to have to hide, to lie, to constantly live afraid of what if?

 

What if they find out I am a fraud? If they find out what I’ve done in my past?

What if my life is not the perfect life, my kids not the perfect kids…hurry someone is coming over shove all of the skeletons back in the closet and shut the door before we are found out.

 

No, that was too much work, too much stress, too much guilt and worry. I am free now I have nothing to worry about I put it all out there, it’s done, I spoke truth over all of it and now it’s done. But don’t think I can’t see what your hiding because I was you…

 

So today my friends, I am here to tell you that you don’t have to live that life of fear, of constantly worrying about getting caught, set yourself free.

 

Live your life, live in honesty, let go of the fear and step out on truth… because your not fooling anyone but yourself.

 

Be the change you want to see”

 

” And just when the moth thought his life was over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

 

***Now available***

My new book The blessing in Disguise

Selling on my website:

T

Www.treadmilltreats.com

 

And on Amazon.com

 

http://www.am6azon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_12?qid=1434452632&sr=8-12&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&keywords=the+Blessing+in+Disguise

 

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