Hump day Treadmill Treats
Today as I was talking to my daughter she told me some things her father had said about our recent court case.
I had to laugh that he was lying while he was saying,
I was lying.
Here’s the thing I was an expert liar while I was married to him, shocking that I would admit that huh? Yes, we hate to admit our flaws, we rather die than admit were not perfect.
I am so not perfect!
Sorry I tell it all, the good, the bad and the really ugly. Being not perfect, I have done some really crappie things including lying.
I lied about being happy in my marriage.
(I was misrable )
I lied about us being the “perfect” family
(We were falling apart and so disfunctional)
I lied about seeing my friends.
(he hated all my friends)
I lied about wanting to make the marriage work.
(All I wanted was to get out but I was too afraid)
Yes, I lied about everything and hated myself for it!
The day I decided to leave the marriage was I day I vowed I would never lie again.
I was free and freedom to me meant never having to lie to try to please someone, to be myself warts and all. To know my self worth and know that I cannot be everything to everyone.
I write this blog every day,
5 days a week, four weeks a month, 12 months a year for the last 4 years. There is nothing I have not put out there.
I’ve told you my great moments, I’ve told you when I was lied to and cheated on by Mr. Con Artist, I poured my heart out, I shared my heartbreaks and disappointments, I told you time and time again when I fell on my face.
I have shared my highs and lows, I opened myself up to the world and criticism from strangers.There is nothing I won’t share and because of that there is no reason for me to lie.
So when I hear this from my daughter I think at least I am growing, I am owning what I did and who I was back then…yes, I was a liar but I am a different person now and if you can’t see that, if you can’t see how much work I put into changing to this person I am today…well that’s your problem, if you think a leopard can’t change his spots, that no one is capable of change, that’s on you…
Maybe you need to take a long hard look in the mirror…maybe your incapable of change…maybe you will never grow or change…maybe just maybe it’s you..
So today my friends, own what you did, stand tall in the mistakes you’ve made, because through the failures and heartbreaks, it made you to the person you are today.
As I always say in the end of every blog ” Be the change you want to see”
“Be the change you want to see”
“And just when the caterpillar thought his life was over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”
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