Can you handle the truth?

Thursday Treadmill Treats

 

Can you handle the truth?

 

Yesterday I wrote about standing up for what is right, today I am coming forward asking another tough question about who you are and what you believe in…The truth.

 

Yes, people we are digging deep this week into who you really are.

There are some people that can’t handle the truth, they might ask you for your opinion yet they think that theirs is better, so then why ask?

 

I was like that, my best friend is gay and when we would go shopping I would ask his opinion, when he would say he didn’t like something I would ask “Why? What’s wrong with it? How come?”

 

He would get mad and say “Bitch, do you want my opinion or what? I don’t like it, that’s why”

 

Well, did I want his opinion? Yes, but on my terms, because I liked it, so why didn’t he?

Through out our friendship I can always count on him to be brutally honest with me even when I didn’t want to hear it and even when it hurts, at least I know where he stands and I know he is honest.

 

But there are so many people like me, who want advice yet can’t handle the truth. We sometimes can’t  even see the truth in ourselves.

I couldn’t admit I had a drinking or drug problem for years, even when I was waking up on the floor with vomit all around me, hungover yet again, I still went to work, so I was good, no problem.

 

I couldn’t admit my ex was verbally abusive, even to myself, that would mean I failed, that I picked the wrong one,  yet again. I couldn’t face the truth for years. I lied to everyone including myself just so I wouldn’t have to admit I picked wrong.

 

When everyone said Mr Con Artist was just that ….no, I said your just haters that I am so happy,  no, even though all the signs were there and my intuition was screaming, I couldn’t admit the mistake I had made.

 

We can’t handle the truth because of our ego, that would mean we didn’t pick right or do the right thing. God for bid we make a mistake and the world sees it! How could we ever redeem ourselves in people’s eyes? So we never admit to our failures and in return we never learn the lessons we are supposed to.

 

When I started writing this blog, I decided that I was going to be brutally honest about everything.

I fall down, I do stupid things, I make mistakes…. huge mistakes, yet the differece is now, I am always trying to learn the lessons from them. I am not afraid of my failures anymore or what people will think because I know I am human and these are the things that make us human, that make us stronger.

 

I can handle the truth now because I know there is a lesson in it and so I put it all out there so that others might see themselves and know it’s alright to fail, to fall down, to pick wrong. To own what you did and to not be afraid of the truth.

 

So today my friends, think about if you can really handle the truth?

 

Can you take off the rose colored glasses you see yourself through and stop worrying about what others will think or say? Look the truth in the face, stand up straight, admit your failure, own it, find the lesson, forgive yourself and let it go and move on….because yes, sometimes the truth hurts  but sometimes the truth will set you free!

 

“Be the change you want to see”

 

” And just when the caterpillar thought his life was over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

 

***Now available***

My new book The blessing in Disguise

Selling on tmy website:

 

Www.treadmilltreats.com

 

And on Amazon.com

 

http://www.am6azon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_12?qid=1434452632&sr=8-12&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&keywords=the+Blessing+in+Disguise

 

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When do you stand up for what’s right?

Hump day Treadmill Treats

 

When do you stand up for what’s right?

 

The other day as I was with my cousin we were talking about standing up for what is right.

 

No matter what, no matter who comes at you, no matter how many friends you lose, you still stand up for what’s right. That is how we were brought up, this is what our moms taught us.

 

You stick together, if your family or if your friends, you stick together. You stand up for them, if they hurt, you hurt, if someone does them wrong, they might as well have done it to you because you will be there standing behind the person you love, doing the right thing.

 

Anymore, people don’t get this concept, they don’t want to rock the boat, they don’t want to be “politically incorrect” Whatever the hell that means anymore, as the littlest things sets everyone off on that rant.

 

They rather stay on their sides and be “nice” And don’t stand up for the truth.

 

I am old school, if your my friend or family, I am there for you, no matter what, I have your back, I am your friend for life, I will do anything for you. I get pissed off if someone hurts you and believe me I will let them know it in no uncertain terms.

 

I will call out a liar, a cheater, a person of no scruples, oh yes, you will not get away with it while I am that person’s friend.

 

But this last year I realized there are only a few of us left, true friends and family that will do that for me.

 

I am a open book, if I am happy I write about it, if I am sad, if I have problems, if someone breaks my heart, you better believe I am writing about it.

 

I am transparent, like it or not, it’s not about you!

It’s about helping others find their voices, showing others that even in the darkest of times, to have faith, to be open and honest and know it’s okay to fall down as long as you get back up and keep fighting.

 

So these last few years when the man I thought loved me and my best friend hurt me to the core, I thought my “friends” would stand up for me and speak out against the wrong doing that was done.

 

I obviously was wrong, but here’s the beauty about being wrong, you get to learn a lesson, a very important lesson, that not everyone does the right thing, that not everyone is your friend.

 

Hard lessons to learn but really good ones as well because it separates the true friends from the phony ones, it lets you know people’s true colors, their real agendas and who they really are.

 

Do you want a bunch of phony friends who don’t have your back or a small handful who have enough pride and gumption to say “No, that’s wrong and I will no longer be your friend after the crappie thing you’ve done to this person”

 

See its okay…I know who is who now, I know who are the gossipers, who are fair weather friends, who have no backbone and I realized I don’t want or need you in my life. So thank you for this lesson, thank you for showing me your true colors, thank you for closing the door and showing me who my real friends are.

 

So today “my friends” remember not everyone who hugs you is really for you, some of them are just looking where to place the knife. Pray you learn the lessons, the lessons are there to make you stronger and to stand up for what’s right.

 

“Be the change you want to see”

 

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life was over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

 

***Now available***

My new book The blessing in Disguise

Selling on my website:

 

Www.treadmilltreats.com

 

And on Amazon.com

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_6_twi_pap_2?qid=1452884833&sr=8-6&keywords=the+blessing+in+Disguise

 

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I like looking at snow. ..from Florida

Tuesday Treadmill Treats

 

I like looking at snow…from Florida

 

When I woke up this morning at 5 am ( Yes, I get up at that ungodly hour every morning to get to the gym)

 

I checked my phone and even though I have lived in Florida for the last 25 years I have a weather update set for New York.

This morning it read -10 with a wind chill of -30.

 

Really?? Minus 30? Your kidding!!

Now as much as I love New York and no matter how long I have lived here, I will always be a New Yorker in my heart. There is no place in the world like New York, the action, the people, the breathtaking beauty of upstate, the incredible beaches of Long Island, yes New York has it all….except for one small fact…they have winter…long and cold from the beginning of October till the beginning of May.

 

Yes, I can remember snow on my birthday, in the beginning of October and still wearing winter coats on easter and beyond.

I don’t even remember not wearing a coat over my Halloween costume, it was like you were a flasher, Happy Halloween quick open your jacket, flash your costume, quick close your jacket.

 

I remember the blizzards we would have when you opened your front door and saw a wall of snow that you had to push past to get outside to now shovel your walkway, the path to the car and then have to start on your now frozen car and pray it started.

 

Yes, you had to wake up at least an hour earlier and maybe more because when you were done even if it was 20 below, now you were all sweaty and tired and had to clean up again before you went to work.

 

I remember the heat not being hot enough until you pulled into work,so you froze all the way there. I remember the furnace dying in the middle of the night and waking up like a human popsicle.

 

I remember busting my ass on the ice way more times then I care to admit,

I remember on the coldest days my car not starting and having to wait outside in the hail and sleet for someone to help you  (Yes. No cell phones back then, imagine that? )

 

People think snow is beautiful and yes, it is the first night maybe on a Friday or Saturday when you didn’t have to go anywhere, when your looking at it from your window, before the plow and salt trucks come and make it a dirty mess, before your car, your boots, your pants bottoms look like they’ve been through a war.

 

When you didn’t have to chop wood, carry into the house and stoke the wood stove all day and all night so that you didn’t wake up in human popsicle form! (Yes, I did this, hello I was an only child, free labor for my poor parents!)

 

Yes, as I read this, as I look at the news I think I am so happy I live here in the winter, we have one box in the crawl space of winter clothes, we pull down once or twice a year. Our winter coat is a leather jacket, our idea of cold is 60 degrees.

Yes, this is the cold weather I am use to now. Thank you very much.

 

Don’t get me wrong as soon as spring comes I will be wishing I was back home in New York and if there was ever global warming I would be packing my things and be out of here, moving right back there.

But until then I will be watching it right here…from Florida.

 

So today my friends back home, keep warm, get ready for the blizzard that’s coming and dream about sunny south Florida, your room is ready…the beach is calling your name, pull down that one summer box from your attic and come on down!

 

“Be the change you want to see”

 

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life was over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

 

***Now available***

My new book The blessing in Disguise

Selling on my website:

 

Www.treadmilltreats.com

 

And on Amazon.com

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_6_twi_pap_2?qid=1452884833&sr=8-6&keywords=the+blessing+in+Disguise

 

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alentine’s ay there’s no V or D for alot of us

Treadmill Treats Monday Message

 

alentine’s ay there’s no V or D for alot of us

 

Yes, another Valentine’s day and for many of us we are still single. So many cards, flowers and hearts everywhere you look, you can’t help but to be bombarded with signs that keep reminding you, that you have no one.

 

For people like me who are really romantic, this is a tough holiday, l love to buy cards and gifts, do special things for the man I love but here’s the thing I didn’t need a day to tell me to do these things, no for me it was an all the time thing. I wanted my man, hell I want all the people in my life to know how much I love them, all the time.

 

Why is it we have holidays to remind us to do the things we should be doing all year long. My Bishop preached a great sermon yesterday about how of all of God’s words, the most talked about in the bible was love. How we need to love one another, how we even need to love our enemies…wow, tough one for so many of us.

 

Yes, we should be showing love to everyone, I didn’t need a day to tell me to buy a card or give flowers to my mom or my girls or the man I am with.

I do so because I want them to feel appreciated and loved all year long and not just on the obligatory day, which feels like your suppose to do it, because everyone else is.

 

I also don’t feel like a half of person because I have no one. I don’t feel like my life will start when I meet the “Right one” No, I am whole now.

 

I am content with my life and myself, would I like to have someone to share my life?  Yes, absolutely I am a truly romantic person and I enjoy being in a relationship but I will not settle anymore.

 

I now know my worth and until I meet someone who also knows my worth, I will be content to be alone.

I will be okay buying Valentine’s cards for my girls and flowers for my loved one ( how I miss giving my mom flowers on no special occasions )

I will tell the people I love that they are special every day because I don’t know how much time I have here and I never want to have regrets or should haves in my life.

 

So today my friends, you might not have any V or D for alentine’s ay but I am sure you have other people in your life you love, that you want to spend time with and even if you don’t love yourself because it begins with you, if you don’t love yourself first, you cant love anyone else.

 

Hoping you all had a wonderful day!

 

“Be the change you want to see”

 

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life was over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

 

***Now available***

My new book The blessing in Disguise

Selling on my website:

 

Www.treadmilltreats.com

 

And on Amazon.com

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_6_twi_pap_2?qid=1452884833&sr=8-6&keywords=the+blessing+in+Disguise

 

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There is nothing more important than your happiness

Tgif Treadmill Treats

 

There is nothing more important than your happiness

 

I write all the time about being happy, about changing your life and living large. Life is to short to be unhappy, you never know when your time will be up.

 

Do you really want to the to be here and thinking to yourself “Wow, the last 5 years,10 years, 20 years,

I have been so unhappy, what a waste of a great life”

 

No, I want to live my best life now and I am here to tell you, it can be your best life.

There is not a day that goes by that I don’t give thanks for this life I have now and sometimes like recently, it is that much clearer how blessed I’m truly am.

 

Being divorced with kids means that you still have to deal with your ex about your children. Recently I had to meet with mine for a parent teacher conference with some issues with our daughter. Sometimes as much as we think we are over it, sometimes the memories flood back in, this was one of those times.

 

As we sat there with the teachers and he hardly gave them a chance to talk, when he cut me off and gave me that look of disgust like so many times in the past, when he turned things around blaming everyone, never excepting or owning any of his wrong doing, all of the last twenty years came flooding back, all of the put downs, all of the fights, all of the nights I tried to drown my misery in a glass of wine, crying in the bath. It almost took my breathe away and I realized now more than ever, that I am so happy that I am free.

 

I am in a constant state of gratefulness as if I was a prisoner finally let out of jail after many years. I never take anything for granted. Every day and even multiple times a day I give thanks for the life I have now and the ability to be able to take care of myself and my girls.

 

After so many years of believing his words that I could never make it without him, that I was nothing without him, there is nothing more satisfying than being able to do the opposite of what he said.

 

I am living and I am living well, I may not have the big house or the fancy cars and toys, I may not go on the big vacations or eat at the finest restaurants anymore but I could care less. I have something money could never buy, I have peace and joy and happiness and that my friends, is priceless.

 

So today my friends, remember life is short, time goes by in a second, don’t live a life you hate. Don’t stay in a marriage that your dying in, don’t stay for the kids or for the big lifestyle, don’t stay out of fear. You can do this, no its not easy sometimes but nothing worth anything is but I am here to tell you, it is so worth it! Because there is nothing more important than your happiness…be happy, start today.

 

“Be the change you want to see”

 

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life was over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

 

***Now available***

My new book The blessing in Disguise

Selling on my website:

 

Www.treadmilltreats.com

 

And on Amazon.com

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_6_twi_pap_2?qid=1452884833&sr=8-6&keywords=the+blessing+in+Disguise

 

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Continue reading “There is nothing more important than your happiness”

You just never know

Thursday Treadmill Treats

 

You just never know

 

You just never know if today’s the day your life will change, if you will meet the love of your life, if you will be getting the job promotion you’ve been wanting.

 

You just never know if the impossible dream that you’ve been wishing for will come through today, you just never know if a blessing is coming your way…..you just never know…

 

Every day, every minute, every second your life could change, something miraculous could happen and everything could be different.

 

You hear about it all the time, someone with stage 4 cancer finds out they are cured, you’ve been writing for years then overnight your a New York Times bestselling author look at JD Rollings (that’s what I am waiting for and it’s coming)

 

You go to sleep and your Youtube video goes viral overnight and forever your life is changed.

 

There is no dream that is impossible, no dream that is too big it’s only you that box in your dreams, you that say “Nah that could never happen. It’s impossible”

 

You are your own biggest obstacle, you can make your dreams happen or you can squash them before they even have a chance.

If you don’t even believe they can happen do they even have a chance?

 

So today my friends, don’t give up, even if things are looking bleak now, even if you think it will never happen, change your attitude, dream big because you never know how your life may change, today may be that day.

 

“Be the change you want to see”

 

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life was over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

 

***Now available***

My new book The blessing in Disguise

Selling on my website:

 

Www.treadmilltreats.com

 

And on Amazon.com

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_6_twi_pap_2?qid=1452884833&sr=8-6&keywords=the+blessing+in+Disguise

 

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Do as I say not as I do

Hump day Treadmill Treats

 

Do as I say not as I do

 

I had to laugh at myself yesterday (it’s okay, we should all be able to do this)

When I was running around my house looking for my stuff to do my taxes.

 

See I am a professional organizer and personal assistant and I am very good at what I do… for my clients. I own my own company and have many clients that pay me well for my talents. Saying all of that I am not perfectly organized as I make my clients.

 

Yes, its the old do as I say, not as I say not as I do, routine and yes, it’s bad, I know.

 

I have this business, I do hair at night, I also for extra money do focus groups (hey I’m a single mom, I have to hustle to pay the bills)

 

I write and post this blog on six sites every day, I have 2 daughters who need me for this or that, (which mostly means cooking, cleaning, money or rides)

 

I own my home and everything is on me including the lawn and all eles that needs fixing.

Owning your own business means I am the marketing guy, promotion guy, book keeper and every other job that needs to be done.

 

So saying all that, I don’t have time to have my house “Perfectly Organized” as my clients. I remember my dad who was a plumber and we had a leaky faucet for years.

My mom use to always talk about the shoemakers kids not having shoes, I now know why, he was too busy making everyone else shoes.

 

So today my friends, don’t worry if your like me and

are saying do as I say not as I do, there is still time to change.

Now…where was the forms I was looking for?

 

“Be the change you want to see”

 

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life was over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

 

***Now available***

My new book The blessing in Disguise

Selling on my website:

 

Www.treadmilltreats.com

 

And on Amazon.com

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_6_twi_pap_2?qid=1452884833&sr=8-6&keywords=the+blessing+in+Disguise

 

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Step out of your box

Tuesday Treadmill Treats

 

Step out of your box

 

Doing anything new is scary but sometimes you need to step out of your box and do something unexpected, you will never know what wonderful things could happen to you when you do.

 

I remember when I was separated, I felt so alone, I had plans to hang out with my daughters but their dad had made plans for them and no one bother to let me know.

 

I thought I have two choices here:

1- I could sit home by myself

or 2- I could go out by myself

I was not into sitting home by myself yet again so I took door number two.

 

Yes, it was scary but it was better than sitting home alone and being depressed.

 

A few weeks later I joined meetup.com, its a site that puts together people by their interests, like yoga, bike riding, women empowerment Ect. Whatever you might be into, they have groups for it.

 

So I went on line to their  calender and found they were getting together for a free concert in the park with like three other meet up groups.

 

I decided why not, so I got l changed, got in my car and went. Did I know anyone? No! Was I meeting anyone there? No!

I was stepping out of my box by going to this concert and I was determined to meet new people.

 

I found the group leader and introduced myself, he in return, introduced me to all the members and even the memebers in the other group and unbelievably, we had a ball.

 

I got to meet around thirty new people, I got to network and I had a blast. Afterwards we went to the casino to see another band and have some drinks. I had such a great time, so much better than sitting home alone.

 

I decided that yes, I will be going to another group meet up with them and to others by myself because it was so much better than sitting home by myself !

 

I was afraid of change, I lived my life in fear, I stayed in a horrible marriage because of fear. In order to change your life, you need to let go of fear, you need to embrace change and you need to step out of your box.

 

So today my friends, what have you wanted to do but were scared to do? Tell that guy, you’ve known forever that you like him? Go to the movies by yourself? Learn to dance even if you don’t have a partner?

 

Whatever it is you should crawl out of your box and try, you never know, you just might have a blast like I did. Try it, step out of your box, you only live once!!

 

“Be the change you want to see”

 

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life was over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

 

***Now available***

My new book The blessing in Disguise

Selling on my website:

 

Www.treadmilltreats.com

 

And on Amazon.com

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_6_twi_pap_2?qid=1452884833&sr=8-6&keywords=the+blessing+in+Disguise

 

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I am Christian but I am human

Treadmill Treats Monday message

 

I am Christian…but I am human

 

Recently a few people said something to me that really got to me, they said,

“That wasn’t very Christian of you” about some things I did and said.

 

Since when did I ever say because I am Christian that I am perfect?

What because I go to church? Please, If I sit in a garage does that make me a car?

 

No, I am human, I am so not perfect. ..Hello, do you read my blog? I get mad, I curse, I break all kinds of comandments, please!!

Don’t put me up on a pedestal because I praise my God or speak of his greatness in my blogs.

That does not make me holy than thou, that makes me a believer, that’s all.

 

That is the problem with people today especially people who go to church, they feel that they are better than others, that they have to be perfect after all “we” go to church.

They suddenly forget that they were once sinners and some still are, yet because they come to church that somehow makes them better.

 

No, here’s the thing my Bishop says all the time, is that we are all sick and broken and we come to church to be healed.

 

That is why I started going, I was broken and I needed help, I had no where else to turn, I had hit rock bottom, I was lying on the floor, praying for something I didn’t really believe in and even still he helped me,  Hell, I still need help, lots of it!

I will never be perfect, even if I went to church 24/7 because I am human first…

 

So for all of you out there who point the finger at me and say “but your a Christian ….”

Get over it, I am just a person trying to be the best person I can be, I try to use this gift God gave me, this gift to serve others, to try to help others with my gift of words, I speak of my God and all he has had done for me because I am so grateful and hope others can find this feeling of peace and joy in their lives.

 

I do this because I hope one day to be standing in front of him and for him to say “Well done, my child, well done”

 

So today my friends I will leave you with this…all of Jesus apostles were not “great and holy” most were sinners who were trying to change and still fell short, They were thief’s, liar’s and even Moses, who was a killer… yet Jesus accepted them, they were trying to be the best they could be, even though they would never be “Perfect Christians ”

 

So do me a favor don’t point fingers …I am just a human trying my hardest to be “Christ like” that’s all.

Remember he who had no sins, cast the first stone.

 

“Be the change you want to see”

 

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life was over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

 

***Now available***

My new book The blessing in Disguise

Selling on my website:

 

Www.treadmilltreats.com

 

And on Amazon.com

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_6_twi_pap_2?qid=1452884833&sr=8-6&keywords=the+blessing+in+Disguise

 

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When you know who you are, no one can tell you different.

Tgif Treadmill Treats

 

When you know who you are…no one can tell you different.

 

I know that I have grown in the last 3 years since my divorce, I try to learn the lessons I am supposed to and try to grow into a better person.

 

I preach on here all the time how you have to own what you do, how you have to want to change and how you should let people treat you, it’s all up to you, you are the only one that can change these things in your life.

 

I am far from perfect and I am always telling you this, but I try each and every day to become a better person, some days I make it someday I fall short, but I don’t beat myself up if I don’t, I get up the next morning and try again.

 

That’s the wonderful thing about this thing we call life, if we are lucky enough to wake up the next morning, we get another chance to change things, imagine that?

 

I know I have alot of single moms that follow me and we know how tough it is to deal with our ex’s  but as I always say we must do our best for the sake of the children. Sometimes it’s easier said than done, sometimes they want to suck you back into the drama that once was your life, but as I learned yesterday I have grown enough to know better and I refuse to play that game.

 

I owned my part of the dismise of my marriage, I admitted to all the horrible things I did or did not do,

I have forgave him, I forgiven myself and I have moved on.

 

Unfortunately the ex has not and yesterday when he sent 25 belittling, degrading, verbally abusive text messages, I was calm when I simply told him to own his part, to change and to get on with his life because his attacks on me no longer effect me.

 

I went on to tell him no matter what I thought about him, I still want my girls to have a father in their lives, but they need a healthy one, not a verbally abusive one, that puts them down at every turn.

 

That if they chose not to be with him that would be their choice, that I keep encouraging them to have a relationship with him, no matter what, but they are almost adults and if they pull away it’s not because of what I said, it’s because of what you did.

 

Own your own actions, if you love your girls, change…. become a better father and maybe a better husband to someone one day.

 

Do not keep blaming everyone else and never except any of the blame ever! Hello no one is that perfect, no one! We all have our part in the things that happen in our lifes, own it, change it and move on.

 

Or you can continue to blame others, stay stuck in your bubble and never grow into a better person, the choice is yours but know that whatever choice you make, your words no longer have any effect on me, I have moved on and I will continue to pray for a better relationship between you and my girls because in the end they are the only thing that matters to me.

 

I want them to grow up to be strong, independent women who will pick healthy men who will know their worth and treat them accordingly.

 

So today my friends remember you have the power….

You can choose to let the words effect you, you can be sucked backed in the drama or you can calmly say I am done and walk away…. you have the power and just like Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz…you had the power all along….

 

Be the change you want to see”

 

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life was over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

 

***Now available***

My new book The blessing in Disguise

Selling on my website:

 

Www.treadmilltreats.com

 

And on Amazon.com

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_6_twi_pap_2?qid=1452884833&sr=8-6&keywords=the+blessing+in+Disguise

 

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