When you know who you are, no one can tell you different.

Tgif Treadmill Treats

 

When you know who you are…no one can tell you different.

 

I know that I have grown in the last 3 years since my divorce, I try to learn the lessons I am supposed to and try to grow into a better person.

 

I preach on here all the time how you have to own what you do, how you have to want to change and how you should let people treat you, it’s all up to you, you are the only one that can change these things in your life.

 

I am far from perfect and I am always telling you this, but I try each and every day to become a better person, some days I make it someday I fall short, but I don’t beat myself up if I don’t, I get up the next morning and try again.

 

That’s the wonderful thing about this thing we call life, if we are lucky enough to wake up the next morning, we get another chance to change things, imagine that?

 

I know I have alot of single moms that follow me and we know how tough it is to deal with our ex’s ┬ábut as I always say we must do our best for the sake of the children. Sometimes it’s easier said than done, sometimes they want to suck you back into the drama that once was your life, but as I learned yesterday I have grown enough to know better and I refuse to play that game.

 

I owned my part of the dismise of my marriage, I admitted to all the horrible things I did or did not do,

I have forgave him, I forgiven myself and I have moved on.

 

Unfortunately the ex has not and yesterday when he sent 25 belittling, degrading, verbally abusive text messages, I was calm when I simply told him to own his part, to change and to get on with his life because his attacks on me no longer effect me.

 

I went on to tell him no matter what I thought about him, I still want my girls to have a father in their lives, but they need a healthy one, not a verbally abusive one, that puts them down at every turn.

 

That if they chose not to be with him that would be their choice, that I keep encouraging them to have a relationship with him, no matter what, but they are almost adults and if they pull away it’s not because of what I said, it’s because of what you did.

 

Own your own actions, if you love your girls, change…. become a better father and maybe a better husband to someone one day.

 

Do not keep blaming everyone else and never except any of the blame ever! Hello no one is that perfect, no one! We all have our part in the things that happen in our lifes, own it, change it and move on.

 

Or you can continue to blame others, stay stuck in your bubble and never grow into a better person, the choice is yours but know that whatever choice you make, your words no longer have any effect on me, I have moved on and I will continue to pray for a better relationship between you and my girls because in the end they are the only thing that matters to me.

 

I want them to grow up to be strong, independent women who will pick healthy men who will know their worth and treat them accordingly.

 

So today my friends remember you have the power….

You can choose to let the words effect you, you can be sucked backed in the drama or you can calmly say I am done and walk away…. you have the power and just like Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz…you had the power all along….

 

Be the change you want to see”

 

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life was over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

 

***Now available***

My new book The blessing in Disguise

Selling on my website:

 

Www.treadmilltreats.com

 

And on Amazon.com

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_6_twi_pap_2?qid=1452884833&sr=8-6&keywords=the+blessing+in+Disguise

 

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You just never know when it’s your time

Thursday Treadmill Treats

 

You just never know when it’s your time

 

Last night I went to another funeral, this one was for a brother of a dear friend of mine. He was in his late twenties, handsome, full of life, he had his whole life in front of him and just like that he was gone.

 

As I sat there I thought about how many of these I have been to in my lifetime and realized that I have been in this spot, way too many times, more than any one person should have to.

 

I have lost so many people I loved, people like Jordan who were taken away at the prime of their lives as well.

 

It taught me two things:

Life is precious and life is short.

 

You have to be present in the moment, you have to truly enjoy your life and the things you do. You have to forgive and forget, reach out to the people you love, tell them how much you love them, spend time with them, treasure the moments you spend with them.

 

We hold stupid grudges, we hold on to hate and anger, we can’t admit when we are wrong and can’t forgive when others try.

 

Does any of it matter? When that person is gone will you have guilt? Will you cry and say I should have, I could have? Would you wish for one more minute with them? If you can honestly answer yes to any of the above questions then you need to make it right now, not tomorrow now!

You might not have tomorrow….

 

I know about hatred, for years I held on to the hatred of my rapist, it consumed my life, when one day I realized it was only hurting me, he didn’t know or couldn’t care less, he was living his life, but I was killing mine, so I forgave him, for me not him.

 

I stayed in a verbally abusive marriage for 24 years afraid and hating my life, if I would have known how great these last 3 years have been I would have done it years before but I can stand here and tell you if I was called home tomorrow, I am truly glad I lived my best life, I was present in every moment,

I forgave and let go of all of the hatred and anger, I lived big and laughed often, I learned lessons and I found peace and joy that I thought was impossible.

 

So if my time was up,

I know I lived my life they way I wanted to even if it was for only 3 years, it was the best three years!

 

This is how we should all learn to live life, now, each and every day because none of us knows when it will be your time or your loved ones time.

At the end you won’t be thinking of how clean the house was, how much money you made, how many people you hated or did you wrong, no, you’ll be thinking if I only had more time with my kids, if I gave more of myself to others, if I could have made amends with loved loves, if I could have lived my life different…

 

So today my friends, remember this, time is one thing you can’t buy and you cant take back, you must use it wisely, don’t be that person wishing what if…be that person that say I lived life big!

 

RIP my dear Jordan, you brought so many smiles to so many people and you will be missed.

 

Be the change you want to see”

 

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life was over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

 

***Now available***

My new book The blessing in Disguise

Selling on my website:

 

Www.treadmilltreats.com

 

And on Amazon.com

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_6_twi_pap_2?qid=1452884833&sr=8-6&keywords=the+blessing+in+Disguise

 

My weekly Youtube page, please subscribe:

 

Twitter: treadmill treats

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