Tgif Treadmill Treats
Can we let this go please?
The other day my youngest told me a story about her best friend, her parents have been divorced as well.
The mother remarried and recently her ex husband’s uncle passed away, when she asked her daughter if her dad was going to New York to the funeral, she said she didn’t think so. The mother knew it had to be because of financial reasons as this was his favorite uncle so the ex wife went and bought him a ticket to go and then her new husband took him to the airport .
I sat there listening and finally said “Wow that is so wonderful, I wish I had that kind of relationship with your dad” my little one looked at me with sadness in her eyes and said “Yeah me too”
Now this couple didn’t go through a happy divorce, things happened, hurtful things, as I know them and the story personally.
But they have chosen to put things in the past, move on and become friends for the sake of their children.
Yes, I always talk about my marriage and how it was a verbally abusive one and how happy I am to be free, but in order to be happy and free I had to forgive, let go of the hurt, anger and the resentment and move on.
There has been enough time, I know who I am, I am a strong, confident, independent women now. His words no longer have any effect on me, I realized these were his issues not mine, my issue was allowing him to treat me that way.
But time heals all wounds as they say and in this time of our lives there are going to be a lot of events that we will have to be attending together, graduation, going off to college, later on marriages and grandchildren (Hopefully much, much later)
But we will have to interact with each other and I want to do this for my girls. I don’t want them to feel they are caught in the middle, they they have to chose sides. I want them to see their parents get past this hopefully as friends, like my little one, best friend parents.
Yesterday they told me my mother in law was having a retirement party, its a eighties theme party. I love my in laws, they have been in my life for 24 years, they have been nothing but great to me and my girls, truly I miss them and the times we spent together.
We had dinner with them every week, we went on vacations together, they never missed an event for the girls…I miss all of that and I told my girls that I would love to go to that party, that maybe it could be a dry run for my little ones graduation.
I don’t think I will be getting an invitation to it but hey I put it out there.
He wouldn’t have to sit near me, he wouldn’t have to talk to me, I would be on my best behavior and would never cause a scene, even if he tried because I am trying to make this work for the sake of my girls.
I was lucky to have such great role models, my mom and dad who were friends to the end, who even though he cheated on my mom, she forgave and moved on to be friends for my sake, they both remarried but they still did things with me as a family.
They loved me that much, to be able to do what was best for me.
I want my girls to know that feeling, to know they are the most important thing and no matter how hard it is we will do it for their sakes.
I am friends with all my ex’s (Okay, not Mr. Con Artist, who by the way, now comes up automatically on my spell check! That kind of nonsense I have no time for in my life, as I tell you all the time to cut out the negative, life sucking people out of your life)
Where was I? Oh yeah, I am friends with all my ex’s, look you fell in love with them for a reason, there had to be some good right? So it didn’t work out, okay… let it go, move on, be friends.
So today my friends, I will be praying that we can get passed this, that maybe someone out there reading this will say, hey I want to do this for my kids as well.
That we as parents will put our children’s needs first and not make them have to chose, a choice they should never have to make.
Lets try to show them to love one another even if its uncomfortable or it may still hurt because its not about you, its about them.
Can we just let this go, please?
“Be the change you want to see”
“And just when the caterpillar thought his life was over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”
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