I want to be an inspiration to others

On Thursday Treadmill Treats

 

I want to be an inspiration to others

 

I saw a quote that says

“I want to be an inspriation to others, so that whenWe  they look at me, they will say, if she could get through it so can I”

 

I posted it on my Facebook page some time back and some of my friends massaged me to tell me that I was, I wanted to cry!

 

I do this blog 5 days a week, I work every day at being postive and trying to be a blessing to others.

My purpose in life is to let people know your never too old to change, to forgive,

to start over, to find your purpose, whatever it may be, it’s never too late!

 

Will it be easy? Oh Hell no! Will I sugar coat it for you? Hell no!

Will you want to throw in the towel? Hell ya!

 

Over and over, you will cry out enough! You will look at the hard times and think if I have to say “What doesn’t kill me will make me stronger” One more time I will slap someone…I am frigging superwoman already, enough already!!

 

But hopefully since you read my blog (lol)

You will know that yes it might get bad, real bad but the end it will be so worth it.

 

In the end you can say I did it, made it, I got through the pain, the storm. I’ve learned lessons and I came out the other side a better person.

 

I am here to show you all my battle wounds, my fall on my face yet again moments, my great moments, my laughter, my joy and even the dark places we don’t like to talk about.

 

I show it all because I want you to know through all of that I am still grateful, no matter how many times I fall down, no matter how dark it may get, that I still feel like I am blessed, I am still grateful even through the tears, I still have an undying hope and faith that “This too shall pass!”

I still belive that God has greater dreams for me than I could ever imagine for myself!

 

So today my friends I want to thank you all that wrote me, for making me cry.

It means I am doing something right and hopefully with God’s blessings I will be able to continue to be an inspiration to others.

 

“Be the change you want to see”

 

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

 

***Now available***

My new book The blessing in Disguise

Selling on my website:

 

Home

 

And on Amazon.com

 

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_13?qid=1462358109&sr=1-13&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=the+blessing+in+Disguise

 

http://www.am6azon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_12?qid=1434452632&sr=8-12&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&keywords=the+Blessing+in+Disguise

 

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How much weight are you pulling in your cart?

Hump day Treadmill Treats

 

How much weight are you pulling in your cart?

 

I love to listen to Steve Harvey in the morning and recently he asked that question and it made me start thinking …. How many people are in your cart? Who is helping you?

And how many are dead weight?

 

He started by saying “You have a old wooden cart with wood wheels and a long thick rope, there are rope burns on your arms and shoulders from pulling it by yourself, but this is your cart and you have to pull it yourself. Hopefully you will find a good partner, one who will jump off the cart to give you water or feed you when your hungry. They will kick a rock out of your path or give you a push when you need it. They are helping you in your journey and are important with helping you and your cart.

 

Then you might have family or friends in your cart who have their legs off the side, kicking in the wind, they are helping you push alittle, their backs against yours giving you that little bit of extra help to get up that hill, they will kick some rocks out of your way, they are giving you some support.

 

Then there are the ones who are in your cart that are laying down drinking lemonade and asking when are they going to get there? What’s taking so long? Telling you that your never going to get there, saying you know the journey is too long, that its impossible…  you know the kind… dead weight…

 

We all have some dead weight in our lives, people that are negative, that never see the good, that always have something to say. We need to cut them out like cancer, they got to go, its infecting you and everyone around them.

Yes, they might be family or they might be your best friend, but it doesn’t matter they have to go!

 

I speak on this because I have cut the cancer from my life. Yes, I am a loyal friend till the end but there has to come a time when you are getting sick because of them, they are trying to keep you down when you need to fly!

 

You have to realize that,

its not that you don’t love them but this is for your own health, it’s your life,

you need to get rid of the dead weight!

 

So today my friends, figure out how many of people you know are the dead weight in your own cart? Come on you know who it is!

Throw them out, that hill is way to steep to make it unless everyone is helping you to make it up to the top. Everyone wants to get to the top with you yet no one wants to put the effort in when it gets tough, when the hill is the steepest, when it’s hot and your tired and it seems like you’ll never get there. No, they just want the glory when you get there.

 

Believe me once they are gone your will feel the weight taken off your shoulders, litterally!

You need to put you first,

its okay, the world is not going to end if you do this! Believe me. And when you do that mountain is not going to look so hard after all.

 

“Be the change you want to see”

 

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

 

***Now available***

My new book The blessing in Disguise

Selling on my website:

 

Home

 

And on Amazon.com

 

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_13?qid=1462358109&sr=1-13&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=the+blessing+in+Disguise

 

http://www.am6azon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_12?qid=1434452632&sr=8-12&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&keywords=the+Blessing+in+Disguise

 

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No matter what your not quitting

Tuesday Treadmill Treats

 

No matter what…your not quitting

 

Watching the summer Olympics has been amazing. More and more of our athletes are breaking records, they are stronger and faster than ever before.

 

We broke all records with Team USA record-breaking Rio 2016 Olympic Games With 121 Medals, 46 Golds.

 

Making his fifth and he says is his last Olympic appearance, Michael Phelps, further cemented his legacy as the greatest Olympian of all time with 23 gold medals and 28 overall. Winning five golds and one silver in the the 2016 Games, showed that even with his opponent talking trash against him, when push came to shove, Phelps was focused on winning. While his big mouth opponent was caught watching him swim by in a picture that went world wide.

 

Jamerica’s own Usain Bolt   wins his ninth Olympic gold making him the fastest man in the world. Critics were saying he was too old to win again..now what you got to say…

 

But the most inspiring stories are that of people’s  spirit, that of determination and of never giving up.

One such story is Shaunae Miller of the Bahamas who dived at the line and won the race by perhaps half an arm’s length. She said she had nothing left but she was not going to give up.

 

And the story of New Zealand runner Nikki Hamblin who had stumbled and fell, accidentally bringing down American runner Abbey D’Agostino.

D’Agostino then helped Hamblin back to her feet but the American couldn’t run because of the injury.

Hamblin helped her up and stayed with her and together they both completed the race.

 

These athletes give it their all, there is no such thing as quitting, they have a job and they get it done. Even when it seems impossible, they are not quitting.

 

How many of us say its too hard, I don’t want to do all that, I can’t make it…I quit..

 

That’s the easy way out, but sticking it out, following through no matter what it takes shows who you are, what you are made of, it makes us better people.

 

When I decided to do a triathlon, I hated running,

I sucked at swimming and I was a average bike rider what I lacked in experience  I made up for in determination.

 

I couldn’t run around the block, I looked like a drowning cat in the pool but I kept at it, day after day I kept at it. Was it hard? Unbelievably hard, did I want to give up? Yes, every morning at 5 am when the alarm went off but I didn’t.

I was determined even if I was the last one to cross the finish line…I was going to finish!

 

Now looking back it still fills me with joy, I did something I never thought I could, I pushed myself beyond my limit and I completed my goal. The fact that I placed 3rd in my age group, well that was the cherry on the cake, again as long as I finished, hopefully before dark, that was all I was hoping for.

 

We all have this in us, we can endure more than we think we can if we hold on, if we don’t quit. We can do so much more than we think we can.

 

So today my friends remember you just have to say to yourself “No matter what…your not quitting!”

 

“Be the change you want to see”

 

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

 

***Now available***

My new book The blessing in Disguise

Selling on my website:

 

Home

 

And on Amazon.com

 

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_13?qid=1462358109&sr=1-13&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=the+blessing+in+Disguise

 

http://www.am6azon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_12?qid=1434452632&sr=8-12&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&keywords=the+Blessing+in+Disguise

 

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3 years of freedom

Treadmill Treats Monday Message

 

3 years of freedom

 

Today is the anniversary of my freedom, three years ago today I got divorced.

I have to tell you, it has been the best three years of my life.

 

If I would have known how truly happy and at peace I would be feeling today, I’ve would have done this years and years ago.

 

What has the fear in your life has kept you from doing? Fear will keep you hostage in a bad marriage, in a lousy job, with friends that no longer suit you, yes, fear will keep you locked up better than any maximum security prison will.

 

I was afraid that I couldn’t make it, being a single mom of two, not being on my own for 24 years, believing all that he spoke about me, that I was useless, stupid, that I couldn’t make it without him and that I was stuck in this verbally abusive marriage forever.

 

So many of you out there may be in this position right now, your scared, you have no self esteem, you have children you need to care for. I know what your going through and I am here to tell you that you can do it, you can be happy, you can stop living like your walking on eggshells each and every day. There is a big, beautiful world out there and its yours if you will only step out and let go of fear.

 

Last night I was talking to my boo and somehow we got talking about all that I did while in this marriage.

I cooked, I cleaned, did laundry.

I made sure dinner was on the table every night at 6,

I cleaned the yard, the pool, the sprinklers, I fixed everything that broke.

 

I worked part time, I took care of our business and all the office work, I did hair at night. I was room mom and PTA mom, I was at every function my girls had, every sport, I was the milk and cookies mom after school, the weekend mom that took them to every park,  bike riding, surfing, skate boarding, all while every morning getting up at 6 am to go to the gym 5 days a week.

 

I was doing this all on my own anyway why couldn’t I be happy while I was doing it without him? Your reading this and thinking yes, I do all of that…yes, you do yet your miserable, you cry yourself to sleep and you pray for a different life.

 

You have the power to change it all, will it be a bed of roses? Oh hell no, it will be tough, it will be scary but you will be happy, you will feel a peace like no other, a sense of accomplishment. You will come home to “your” home, there will be no yelling, no put downs, no drama, because it is your life now and you get to chose how to live it.

You are in control of your own happiness and there is nothing like that feeling.

 

How did I do it? I read books, I started liking myself again, I envisioned and dreamed about what my life would be like. I made vision boards, I  joined self help groups but what changed it all for me was I prayed, I gave it all over to God, I prayed and let him worry. I stepped out in faith, no money, just starting a new business, just divorced lots of pressure right? No…I knew he would take care of me and he did and continues to do so.

 

I was going over my bills last night and I don’t know how I do it…but God…

I get to travel, I have been blessed with so many things and so many incredible people in my life, my boo, an amazing Church, Pastor and Church family. My girls are good and healthy, my life is more than I dreamed it could be!

 

So today my friends remember…believe in yourself, believe that you can do it, step out on faith, let go of the fear, you are stronger than you know.

Life is too short to be anything but happy…

Nothing is impossible if you believe….

 

“Be the change you want to see”

 

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

 

***Now available***

My new book The blessing in Disguise

Selling on my website:

 

Home

 

And on Amazon.com

 

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_13?qid=1462358109&sr=1-13&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=the+blessing+in+Disguise

 

http://www.am6azon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_12?qid=1434452632&sr=8-12&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&keywords=the+Blessing+in+Disguise

 

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Why you hate so much?

Thursday Treadmill Treats

 

Why you hating so much?

 

People like to talk, even though they know nothing about you. People talk even when they don’t even know you, just from what they think they know about you.

 

Why do people do this? Are they that petty and jealous? That they see you and maybe see what you have and automatically they hate on you. For no other reason then that?

 

My question to them is are you not happy with yourself? Are you not secure with yourself?

It is about your issues, not the person your hating on.

 

Do you know anything about that person? Do you know how much they struggled? Do you know how many nights they cried themselves to sleep to get up and put a fake smile on for the world?

 

You know nothing of what it took to get to this moment, yet you speak on it as if your an expert.

 

People do this all the time with the Internet, as if it gives them a free pass to criticize someone, to throw hate on them, to put someone down because its easy to sit behind your computer screen and hate on people.

 

When I got this home, I was blessed to have many wonderful friends step up and help me. Their kindness made me cry and I was overwhelmed that they would even fly across the country to be with me and help.

 

And yet some people actually had the nerve to say I paid for the work with sexual favors..really??

What just because you have no friends that would go above and beyond for you, you assume that is the only way I could get this.

 

Do you know how many times I’ve helped them move? How many times I was there for them in the past? How many free haircuts I gave because I knew the situation they were in and I was trying to be a friend?

 

No, you know none of this because you don’t know me, if you were my friend you would know who I am and what kind of friend that I am. You would know that I have friendships since I was 5, that these friends are the family I choose for myself…but you know nothing because you chose to automatically assume the worst.

 

Oprah recently said if you can’t ignore your haters, you cant be famous.I get that everyone is going to talk about you…

 

Believe me I get that, like when I was in high school and everyone said I was a whore because I had a lot of guy friends when the truth was I was with the same guy 6 years and was a virgin until I was 18, yet they “knew” about me ha!

 

So then why does it get to me? Because I would never assume anything about anyone, I don’t know you and your struggles, so why would I pretend to know you? I wouldn’t automatically think the worst of a person, I wouldnt just hate on a person just to hate on them.

 

So I guess I figure the rest of the world is like me but they are not. A fact I am learning more and more these days.

 

As I always say we are here to learn lessons, even if it took me this many years, I am still learning and I better learn quick because soon I will have a lot more haters and I have to learn to have thick skin.

 

So today my friends, (My real friends) remember before you speak of someone, know who they are, know of the hard times, know of their struggles, think that maybe they are going though something you know nothing about.

 

Life is to short to be hateful and mean, to be envious and petty, to be jealous and spiteful…we only have so much time here, lets spend it being kind, speaking hope and love, uplifting each other and being grateful for what we do have. Really life is way to short…why you hating so much?

 

“Be the change you want to see”

 

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

 

***Now available***

My new book The blessing in Disguise

Selling on my website:

 

Home

 

And on Amazon.com

 

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_13?qid=1462358109&sr=1-13&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=the+blessing+in+Disguise

 

http://www.am6azon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_12?qid=1434452632&sr=8-12&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&keywords=the+Blessing+in+Disguise

 

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Promoting your man on social media

Hump day Treadmill Treats

 

Promoting your man on social media

 

I went to a singles event last weekend and one of speakers were talking about how we as women, as soon as we get a man, we are all over social media promoting him.

 

You on there as soon as you meet him…oh hes such a great man, he’s so cute, he has a great job, he is so sweet….

Hello you know him for like 3 minutes…

But your so happy you got a man so it’s the first thing you do…Ohhhh…look at me I got a man!

 

He takes you out, he buys you flowers, there you are…Oh..isn’t he the best?

3 and a half minutes of knowing him

 

Your marketing him way beyond his potential…

Hell, you don’t even know his potential or even if he has any at all but there you are promoting this man.

 

Then after a few weeks or even a few months, the crazy starts to come out and all of a sudden your changing your tune…

Maybe not posting so much, maybe thinking you might have jumped into this too fast.

 

Believe me I’ve done this… to the extreme, I knew my ex husband for 2 weeks when I went back home, sold my business, rented out my house, gave my dog away (Yes, you read this right, I even gave my dog away) and moved lock, stock and barrel 1500 miles away, where I knew no one.

 

After the first month I knew I made a horrible mistake but hell I promoted him all over…how great he was, what a catch, look at this good man I found …and I moved 1500 miles away just to be with him.

How was I going to say now “Oops I made a mistake, not really the great guy I thought” No, I had a big ego, that shit wasn’t happening so I stayed…yet a bigger mistake!

 

Yes, we all do this and did this and this was way before social media.We want others to see how happy we are, we are all projecting something were not.

 

Did I learn my lesson, well it took me a while…like the run in with Mr.Con Artist Hell. I was just divorced and I was promoting him and all the gifts, all the trips, all the wonderful things he did and said. Hello ex look at this great guy I got… ha,ha

(Oh please you’ve all done that, don’t lie) until I got wise…

 

How’s that for a lesson, to then put out what a fool you had been, that he was a lying, cheating dog and not just with one women but 3 and a wife for good measure!

Oh yeah… I am no longer anyone’s PR guy! You need to earn that status.

 

You see your friends doing the same thing but they don’t tell the real story like I did, no, they just say they are getting off Facebook for a while…

Ha…your laughing because you know those people or maybe your one of them?

 

Sneak away until you hope people forget all the PR work you did for that fool.

 

What about the man that is really for you, who is out there, but he now doesn’t want you because your constantly promoting these other men…

It’s funny a man wont admit he’s in a relationship with you, yet all the while your promoting him, no he sits back and let’s you do all the work for him.

 

Yet who’s promoting you? Who’s calling out what a great women you are? Yeah I thought so…don’t have an answer to that one…

 

I put my whole life out here, the good, the bad and the really ugly because I hope that someone will see themselves in me, in my failures, in my mistakes.

 

I hope they will see me, warts and all, getting up over and over, never giving up, learning the hard lessons to try to become a better person.

 

But you don’t have to, learn from my mistakes…

So today my friends remember don’t promote that person so fast, make sure they are the one, make sure they deserve to be promoted first.

 

“Be the change you want to see”

 

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

 

***Now available***

My new book The blessing in Disguise

Selling on my website:

 

Home

 

And on Amazon.com

 

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_13?qid=1462358109&sr=1-13&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=the+blessing+in+Disguise

 

http://www.am6azon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_12?qid=1434452632&sr=8-12&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&keywords=the+Blessing+in+Disguise

 

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Hello I am waiting

TuesdayTreadmill Treats

 

Hello…I am waiting

 

Hello!… I am waiting….. yes we are all waiting on something and sometimes it seems like we have been waiting forever.

 

I wrote about my feelings yesterday, that I asked God when is my season coming?…haven’t I been waiting long enough?

 

We lived in a drive through society, we want it now, fast, we feel like we are owed, come on, lets go, is our favorite saying, especially if your a New Yorker.

 

Sometimes because of our impatience, we jump into things that is not always so great for us.This is big when it comes to relationships. We want a wife, a husband or a boyfriend or girlfriend so bad that we can’t wait, we don’t listen to the inner voice, no, we want it now!

 

So we take the first one that comes around because we are afraid that if we don’t, we will be alone and hey someone is better than no one right?

 

No!! Sometimes there is a reason, maybe you need to grow, maybe at this point of your life you need to be free to explore things you want to do and see, maybe just maybe, you need to learn a lesson that its better to be alone then to be with someone who makes you feel lonely.

 

Maybe your waiting on your big break, you worked hard, you know that this is your purpose, you know you are good at what you do, yet your thinking, come on when is this coming? When will my big break happen? (Okay this part may be for me, Hello! I am human after all!)

 

But maybe you are not ready yet, maybe God is lining up things on your behalf and when your break comes you will be ready. (I’ve had a few public speaking engagements, not as many as I would like but its getting me prepared to inspire thousands, millions of people, so I have to start small)

 

Do I have any doubt that this blog will be an international hit or that my book will be a New York Times bestseller? No!

( Hell, my spell check automatically types New York Times bestselling author, I have put it out there so many times)

 

Do I doubt that I will be speaking to thousands of people?

Hell, no… I know its coming, just as I knew and I put it out there that I was going to leave my marriage, that I would be able to support myself, that I was going to get the home I live in, that my life would be filled with peace and joy.

 

I had a vision, I had a dream, I envisioned it, I put it on my vision board, I ate this, breathe this and I never once stopped believing and guess what? I got it.

 

So, do I not believe this will happen again? Oh I am betting the house that it will. I have big faith, I have big dreams… now I just need big patience!

 

Yes, I like you, want it now, come on, when is it coming? But I know all good things come to those who wait, faith without works is dead and its all in your season… I can go on and on and guess what? sometimes I need to do it just to reinforce it in my head.

 

So today my friends remember yes, its coming, but until it does, just enjoy this moment, live in this second and have faith that it will come when you are ready, truly ready and try to not say Hello! I’m waiting.

 

“Be the change you want to see”

 

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

 

***Now available***

My new book The blessing in Disguise

Selling on my website:

 

Home

 

And on Amazon.com

 

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_13?qid=1462358109&sr=1-13&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=the+blessing+in+Disguise

 

http://www.am6azon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_12?qid=1434452632&sr=8-12&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&keywords=the+Blessing+in+Disguise

 

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I need church

Treadmill Treats Monday Message

 

I need church

 

I need church like a drowning man needs air, I need church like a man in the desert needs water, I need to be here, to worship and pray with others who’s  faith is like mine.

 

This faith, this church is about me, for me.

I will never get on a soap box and preach to others about what they must do or not do. I am from the school of whatever gets you through your day is what is good for you.

 

I don’t judge, who am I to judge? I am far from perfect, I believe that God, my God is a forgiving God, a loving God but again this is for me.

 

This is what gets me through my day, this is what gets me through the dark nights, the times when it feels like I can no longer hold on, it gives me strength, it gives me hope, it fills me with peace.

 

When I come to church I hear a word that is for me, things I’ve been praying about, things I’ve been going through, somehow it always speaks to me…Todays message was exactly what I needed to hear…

 

Lately I’ve been asking God what is going on? I’ve been doing all the right things yet it feels like I am spinning my wheels, when is this breakthrough coming? If this is my season where is it?

Does this mean I stop believing? No, but even Ms. Positively needs some reinsurance now and then.

 

I have been away for 2 weeks and even though I watched the podcast, its not the same as being there, so I really needed a message.

So this was todays message:

 

God is shaping you into what he wants you to be…

He telling you want he wants you to do, you need to obey God, once you do God will open doors.

God is taking you places you may not want to go…but you have to go.

 

It is there he will show you what he has planed for you, I know that your comfortable you dont want to go, but it is through that uncomfortable times, you will grow.

 

He shows you if he can do it for others, he can do it for you

 

It might get messy, it might get dirty but God is shaping you through it all.

It doesn’t look like you envisioned your life to be, its out of control, your swimming but not going anywhere…

Sometimes we go against God’s plan and it gets harder.

 

But just watch what God is doing, he will make it over,  he is working on you.

 

God can take your mess and turn it into a message.

Don’t get caught up what you look like now…

Eyes have not seen, ears have not heard what you will become if you stay in his will….

 

And then my Bishop said “Remember this too shall pass” which was my mom’s favorite saying and I knew this was my message…

 

Yes, this is the message I needed to hear…its always the message I need to hear…this is way I keep coming, this is why I need God, this is why I need my church….

 

“Be the change you want to see”

 

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

 

***Now available***

My new book The blessing in Disguise

Selling on my website:

 

Home

 

And on Amazon.com

 

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_13?qid=1462358109&sr=1-13&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=the+blessing+in+Disguise

 

http://www.am6azon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_12?qid=1434452632&sr=8-12&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&keywords=the+Blessing+in+Disguise

 

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Let it go already

Thursday Treadmill Treats

 

Let it go already…

 

These last 2 weeks of being home taught me a lot of lessons, one of the biggest ones was to let shit go…seriously… people hold on to all kinds of crap.

 

I caught up with someone up there and they were going on and on about this one or that one, I was like, didn’t this happen in high school? That was 30 something years ago and your still mad and talking about it? Seriously??

 

They hold on to grudges from 40 plus years ago.

“Oh so and so did this to me 40 years ago and I will never forgive them”

 

Really? Do you think they are thinking of you and your petty grudge? Oh Hell no, they could care less, its only effecting you, you can’t move on, you cant get past it, it’s not about them anymore its about you.

 

Your upset at a family member they said hurtful things, they screwed you over, so for years you are holding on to the hurt and the anger and they are going on living.They have no idea that every time you think of them you get pissed nor do they care.

 

Your mother sucked, your father drank and beat you, your best friend cheated with your ex, your business partner screwed you out of money, your ex was a son of a bitch….insert your sob story here, we all got one, it’s how you let it effect you that counts.

 

Yes, if anyone, I could be the mayor of this parade, with all the people that hurt me and screwed me over but I chose not to. I have let it go, I chose to let it go, to forgive them, its for me not for them, I chose to move on.

 

I refuse to give it power over me, I refuse to hold on to something that is not useful anymore, for what? They don’t care that your mad, they don’t think of you, they have forgotten all about it or maybe just maybe they changed, maybe they were young and stupid, maybe they grew up, maybe it was different in your mind then in theirs….oh ever thought about it that way?

 

No, because it’s about you and your pain, its yours for so long, it’s become who you are…like saying I’m Francesca…I’m a rape victim…it’s a badge you wear.

I am not a rape victim, rape was something that happened to me, it doesn’t define me, it’s not who I am.

 

If I went around for 40 years and said to everyone, I am a rape victim then it would be part of me, it would be who I am.

 

See I even forgave him,

yup believe it or not, I let it go, I freed myself.

Now come on, if I could forgive the man who raped me, don’t tell me you cant forgive your family member for saying something stupid 25 years ago.

 

So today my friends, what are you holding on to? Has it been so long that it defines you? Is it your badge now? How is it benefiting you? What are you getting out of it?

Be truthful, be real, if you are, you will let it go…there is an amazing world out there why spend it angry and bitter…life is way to short…let it go already.

 

“Be the change you want to see”

 

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

 

***Now available***

My new book The blessing in Disguise

Selling on my website:

 

Home

 

And on Amazon.com

 

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_13?qid=1462358109&sr=1-13&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=the+blessing+in+Disguise

 

http://www.am6azon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_12?qid=1434452632&sr=8-12&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&keywords=the+Blessing+in+Disguise

 

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The lessons I’ve learned this year 2016

Hump day Treadmill Treats

 

The lessons I’ve learned 2016

 

The last two weeks I’ve been on vacation, well a working vacation but at least I was somewhere different.

 

I went home to upstate New York, a place that gives me peace, that lets me recharge and keeps me grounded.

 

Nothing like going home to people that knew you as a snot nose kid to keep you grounded.

This magical place filled with huge pine trees, streams, rivers and the most incredible lakes and waterfalls you have ever seen, makes all of my problems go away.

 

It also teaches me lessons every time I am there. Lessons about life, about myself and about what’s really important in life.

 

This visit was no different,

I learned this summer what true friends mean, this was especially important as last summer my “best friend” screwed me over so bad it shook me to the core. I never thought she would do that and it made me question all of my friends and relationships.

 

Thankfully, I have a group of the most amazing friends and I realized that I can always count on them, so that restored my faith in friends and people again.

 

I also learned that I am too quick to jump to conclusions, I’ve learned that sometimes not everyone is out to box you in, that because I’ve been so hurt, I jump into “Your trying to control me and I’m out of here” mode in seconds. I’ve learned that as well as I am today, I still carry deep down, the hurt from my old marriage and The Con Artist.Things I need to obviously work on within myself.

 

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned was sometimes the connection is over, even though it may have been there for all of your life, sometimes it’s just done. That even though I may have wrote about it, it sometimes takes being in that person’s presence to know you weren’t just speaking it, you were definitely feeling it as well.

 

That it is truly time to move on, to wish that person well and still always love them but to know that connection is finally put to rest. This was a huge one  for me but I am glad that I learned it.

 

Yes, I’ve learned to be present in the moment, if its lunch with a old friend, to a hour at the lake remembering the good old days, to singing and dancing at a concert with people you love, its about all of these magical moments that we call life.

 

So today my friends remember there are lessons all over, your never too old to learn, to change, to dig deeper and make yourself better, but the best lessons we need to keep learning is that life is too short, live big, laugh loud, dance like no one is watching, be present and tell the ones you love how you feel, today is a gift, treat it as one!

 

“Be the change you want to see”

 

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

 

***Now available***

My new book The blessing in Disguise

Selling on my website:

 

Home

 

And on Amazon.com

 

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_13?qid=1462358109&sr=1-13&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=the+blessing+in+Disguise

 

http://www.am6azon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_12?qid=1434452632&sr=8-12&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&keywords=the+Blessing+in+Disguise

 

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