The effects of verbal abuse

Tgif Treadmill Treats

 

The effects of verbal abuse

 

October is National Domestic Violence month and it is a subject near and dear to my heart.

So all through this month I will be writing about it, to try to open your eyes about what it actually does to the victims.

 

Today I want to present you with some facts about this devastating crime and the lasting effects it can have.

 

This is not just me telling you, this is actual facts and reports from top researchers on what domestic violence and verbal abuse can and will do to people and let me tell you it’s really scary.

 

According to the CDC, they

released a study in 2008,

that surveyed more than 70,000 Americans and the

results were staggering. These are the results of  that survey.

 

· 23.6% of women and

11.5% of men reported at

least one lifetime episode

of intimate partner violence.

 

· In households with  incomes under $15,000  per year, 35.5% of women

and 20.7% of men suffered violence from an intimate partner.

 

· 43% of women and

26% of men in multiracial

non-Hispanic households  suffered partner violence.

 

· 39% of women and

18.6% of men in American

Indian, Alaska Native

households suffered

partner violence.

 

· 26.8% of women and  15.5% of men in white

non-Hispanic households

suffered partner violence.

 

· 29.2% of women and

23.3% of men in black

non-Hispanic households

suffered partner violence.

 

· 20.5% of women and  15.5% of men in Hispanic households suffered  partner violence.

 

Harvard university put out

there own study on verbal

abuse, they went on to say:

 

Scolding, swearing, yelling,

blaming, insulting,

threatening, ridiculing,  demeaning & criticizing can be as harmful as  physical abuse, sexual  abuse outside the home or witnessing physical abuse at home.

 

The report suggests that,

when verbal abuse is  constant and severe, it  creates a risk of post-traumatic stress disorder,

The same type of

psychological collapse experienced by combat troops in Iraq.

 

The research on which the report is based points out that children who are the target of frequent verbal

mistreatment exhibit  higher rates of physical aggression, delinquency, and social problems than  other children.

 

Other researchers have  associated childhood verbal abuse with a

significantly higher risk of  developing unstable, angry personalities, narcissistic  behavior, obsessive-compulsive disorders, and paranoia.

 

“Verbal abuse may also  have more lasting  consequences than other forms of abuse, because it’s often more continuous,”

says Teicher.

 

“And in combination with

physical abuse and neglect,may produce the most dire outcome.

 

There are always signs, yetwe chose to ignore them,

here are a few:

 

Do they…

 

*Make derogatory

comments about a group

you belong to (gender,

career, religion, etc.)

This comment might end with “I mean them, not you.”

 

*Make fun of or insult your

ideas, behaviors, or beliefs?

 

*Make negative comments about people, places or  things that you love?

 

*Say things that are almost true about you, but leave you wanting to defend  yourself?

 

*Say, “What? It was just a joke!” to dismiss a remark

that offends you?

 

*Ask you questions about something that just  happened and reply to your answers, “Do you care to think about that and  answer the question again” or just sit there, staring at

you, in a way that lets you

know your answer wasn’t

“right”?

 

*Engage you in long

conversations about things on which you disagree  until you reach the point of wanting to say, “Okay.  Whatever. You’re right!”

Or insist that you repeat

what they said and then,

later, claim,

“You agreed with me!”

 

*Somehow manage to physically back you into a

corner or somewhere you cannot easily escape during intense

conversations?

 

*Break you down until you

say your sorry about a fight you clearly are in the right about?

 

These are signs of how you feel when you are with them. Do you feel…

 

*Nervous when approaching them with

certain topics?

 

*Insulted because of their

use of foul language or does their use of foul language change the

meaning of otherwise

normal requests?

Such as: “Could you f*ck*ng tell me how much f*ck*ng longer it will be before you’re ready

for dinner?”

 

*A need to tell on yourself

about innocent events in  case the person hears

about it later?

 

*Misunderstood for the  most part, in your  relationship?

 

Do you doubt…

 

*Your sanity, intelligence, orcommunication skills  because of difficulties  relating to them?

 

*Your memories when it  comes to recalling  conversations or events with the person because their take on it is so  different from your own?

 

Ask yourself these  questions and be brutally honest with the answers because these are the signs.

 

Victims of verbal abuse  may:

 

*Have difficulty forming  conclusions and making decisions

 

*Feel or accept that there  is something wrong with  them on a basic level

 

I am here to tell you all of this is true as I was in a verbally abusive marriage for 24 years, I know how it feels to be yelled at, put down, belittled, told you are stupid and that you could never do anything right.

 

I spent years crying myself to sleep, thinking I could never get out of this relationship because I didn’t think I could make it on my own. His words rang over and over in my head, I’d be nothing without him, he would take my girls, I’d  be living in a box under 95…I was stuck in fear.

 

When I finally had the courage to leave I made it my mission to help other women, to make sure my words touched their hearts, to uplift and give encouragement to someone else who may need it, to constantly put the word out about this silent killer of lives and souls.

 

This will never go away if we keep quiet about it.

It has to be spoken of, we have to shine the light on this dark topic and show these men and women that even though you may not raise your hands to us, you are still a abusiver!

 

So today my friends, I beg you to reach out, to help others who are literally stuck in these relationships, give them a way to get out, donate to your local women’s shelters. You don’t realize how small and precious the joy is of just coming home not being afraid and just being happy is until you walked in our shoes.

 

 

“Be the change you want to see”

 

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

 

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