I refuse to settle

Tgif Treadmill Treats

 

I refuse to settle

 

After last weekend of hanging out with a wonderful bunch of women that I am blessed to have in my life, I have come to the conclusion that I will no longer settle.

 

I have come way to far in my life to settle for a man that’s not perfect for me, wait before you go off on me, I did not say perfect, I said perfect for me, big difference.

 

There is no perfect person and I am as far from perfect as they come, so just so you know that I am not living in la la land. I am not asking for anything unreasonable, like he has to be 6′ blond, 200 lbs, with muscles, blue eyes, make at least 600,000 a year, drive a 750 BMW and be a Virgo.

 

Don’t laugh I know some women with this list and they will not bulge (well, good luck with that) No, that is unrealistic, but… there are a few things on my list that are non negotiable.

 

I will not settle for a man who does not have God first and formost in his life, my religion has saved my life, literally and my faith and my church are the biggest part of my life.

 

I will not sell my soul for a man with money and lose myself, I’ve been there done that for 24 years, never again.

 

I will no longer settle for broken, unreliable men, no I am not here to fix you, you need to work out your issues before you start a relationship. I took 2 years to work on mine, I had to own my part in my failed marriage, figure out what I needed to fix.

You must have taken this journey by yourself, don’t your issues into the next relationship, same problems, same end result.

 

I will not be your mother, I’ve raised two kids not looking to do that again, be a grown up.

 

I will not settle for a lying, cheating or deceitful man. No I deserve to have a man love me enough and love me completely just as I will do for him.

 

I will not settle for a man who will disrespect me, no I now know my self worth, I am worthy of being treated like the queen I am, just as I would never disrespect you, you will do the same.

 

I want someone with a kind heart, that is compassionate, that is close to his family and is there for his friends.

 

Someone who is makes jokes when you know its really not a joke, who tells you no one else can love you like them, who is insecure, needy, passive aggressive, narrossist or jealous. Oh lord, I definitely picked too many of those types of men.

 

Someone who knows his finances and at 50 is not living paycheck to paycheck, sorry I did that at 20, we are not 20 anymore.

 

Someone who is funny, (funny is the new sexy) who can laugh at themselves and the world, who has your back and will “let you crash their party” like that Luke Byron song he, would drop everything to be with me, that I come second after God to him.

 

Someone who cares enough about himself to be in shape and exercises, enjoys the outdoors, someone who is a blessing to others.

 

Is this such a unrealistic list I ask you? Isn’t this what human beings should be? Not looking to get over or hurt someone else? Am I asking for too much?

Doesn’t matter, this is my list, make your own… I refuse to settle as I know what kind of women I am, I will love you until the end of time, I will be your biggest cheerleader, I will have your back, I would fight the world for your honor.

 

I will be there to help you,

I would even carry you if you fall. I will be your partner 100% give my all, care about your feelings, will always be honest and faithful.

 

All I ask is the same in return that’s all and if I can not find someone who is willing to give as much as I am well than I am just fine being by myself because I refuse to settle.

 

So I am putting it out there, these are the the conditions and the deal breakers, so be it!

 

So today my friends think long and hard and ask yourself, are you settling because your lonely? Because you can’t live without someone in your life? So you are settling for half a man or women. Don’t settle know your worth and take nothing less!

 

** I know this is a tough time of year so I will be putting this number out there for all that needs it…I been there and I know how dark it may seem especially during the Christmas season, there is help, it will get better…I am living proof of

“This too shall pass”**

Please get help, call today:

National Suicide Hotline: 24/7

1-800-273-8255

 

“Be the change you want to see”

 

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

 

***Now available***

My new book The blessing in Disguise

Selling on my website:

 

Home

 

And on Amazon.com

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_13?qid=1462358109&sr=1-13&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=the+blessing+in+Disguise

http://www.am6azon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_12?qid=1434452632&sr=8-12&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&keywords=the+Blessing+in+Disguise

 

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Signs all around us

Thursday Treadmill Treats

 

Signs from above

 

I am a big believer in signs, your thinking of someone and the song that reminds you of them plays on the radio, or they call.

 

Your praying for a answer and you go to church and the sermon is about what you were praying about and is your answer. You go to a book store and a certain book sticks out or better yet falls out (yes, that has actually happened to me)

 

Yes, I am a big believer of the other side trying to communicate with us. When my mom past that first mother’s day I was outside in my screened in porch, the door was opened and in flew a yellow butterfly and landed next to my coffee cup. I balled like a baby. When we brought her ashes upstate to be buried with my dad months later, after the ceremony was over, a yellow butterfly flew around all of us and landed on her headstone.

 

This year on the 5 year anniversary of her death as I was thinking of her, I stepped off a cruise ship in Mexico and this yellow butterfly flew around me, now come on coincidence, all of this? I think not.

 

This time of year is hard on me as I miss my mom so much, I miss the family and parties, everyone around the table filled with all kinds of Italian goodies, laughing, cursing and loud.

 

Last year at this time, I was thinking of my mom and crying as I was wrapping gifts. When all of a sudden a card fell out of all the wrapping. I opened it and it was a card from my mom that said no matter what remember how much I love you and it had a business card of her old real Estate business that I haven’t seen in years, as if I needed any more proof that she was there with me.

I cried even more because I knew she was still there looking out for me.

 

This year is no different, I am again missing mom but this time I happened to find an old tape player as I was looking for wrapping paper. Just for ha ha’s I played it. It was a recording from a medium I went to see after my mom’s death while I was separated and so confused. I was afraid I couldn’t do this by myself, he always told me that for 24 years so you start to believe it.

 

I needed to know she was still here, I needed help, I needed encouragement so I went to New York to this Long Island Meduim and yes, of course my mom came through. There were so many things this women couldn’t ever know about me or my family but yet she was telling me things only my mom could know.

 

She told me that she is always here with me. She knew I talked to her picture, she knew I was sleeping in her bed during this separation and cried myself to sleep every night. She told me to go through with the divorce that I would be fine.

Just hearing this again while I was again wrapping Christmas gifts gave me a sign she was still with me.

 

On a side note, all of the things this medium said turned out to be true.

Yes, three years later I am the happiest I’ve ever been.

I take care of my self and my girls with no help, I own my own home and business and I have a peace and joy that is priceless.

 

Whether you believe in this or not, it is hard to put an answer to all of these things that happen but hey its not for you, it’s for me and I believe and that’s all that matters.

 

So today my friends, remember there are signs all around us, signs to do things or not do things. Hello, like intuition that I spoke of yesterday. There are signs for answers we seek and there are signs from loved ones we miss, we just have to be open to see them, don’t be so wrapped up in your life that you miss your signs.

 

** I know this is a tough time of year so I will be putting this number out there for all that needs it…I been there and I know how dark it may seem especially during the Christmas season, there is help, it will get better…I am living proof of

“This too shall pass”**

 

Please get help, call today:

National Suicide Hotline: 24/7

1-800-273-8255

 

“Be the change you want to see”

 

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

 

***Now available***

My new book The blessing in Disguise

Selling on my website:

 

Home

 

And on Amazon.com

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_13?qid=1462358109&sr=1-13&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=the+blessing+in+Disguise

http://www.am6azon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_12?qid=1434452632&sr=8-12&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&keywords=the+Blessing+in+Disguise

 

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Stealing your light

UHump day Treadmill Treats

Stealing your light

All of my life I wasn’t the prettiest, I wasn’t the smartest, I wasn’t the most popular but somehow I had a lot of friends and plenty of boyfriends (please no comments from the peanut gallery)

See there is this something I had…I have always had this light…this something on the inside that draws people towards me.

You all known people like this, you don’t know why but you want to be in their presence, it feels good, it makes you feel like home, warm and comfortable.

For years people I hardly knew would tell me all their problems, deep intimate secrets that they said they never told anyone before but felt comfortable enough with me to tell me.

I have had people tell me it’s my energy they love and every one who comes into my home says the same thing….its peacefull, like they want to sit and stay for hours.

This is not something I do on purpose, this is just a gift I was obviously born with but this gift can also be a curse at times because the same people that say they love me for me, that want to be around me, are really energy suckers.

Yes, you laugh but there are actually people like that out there, people who suck your energy, who want what you have, who want to be you.

They say they love you for you yet after they are with you, they want you to change.

People who tell you how much they love you then tell you no one can love you like they can, so you start to think maybe they are right.

People who tell you how good they are and how no one else would be able to cope with your gift, your lifestyle, you….and it puts that seed of doubt into your head.

People who say they love what you do, your friends, your involvement in things and people until you start taking away from them and what they need.

People that tell you no one has ever stepped up in your life and how they are willing to do that, be that person you have always been looking for.

The same thing that drew them to you now they want it for themselves, they want you to stay and shine that light just on them, not share the gift with the world so they become needy, they start little by little to make you question everything.

This is where your intuition comes into play, believe me it took me along time to hear and then even longer to listen to mine. But we all have it, when your hair stands up for no reason, when their is a small voice in the back of your head saying something is not right!

This is when we need to listen but we, especially women, poo poo this away…oh he’s a great guy, I might never find another one like him (his words ringing in your head)

You make excuses, no one knows him, everyone says he’s a great guy, he’s had a bad childhood, he’s misunderstood, fill in your bullshit story here….

That’s what we do, what we are programed to do…but that is not what our intuition is saying yet we tend not to listen, to see the red flags. We are comfortable, we don’t want to start over, we think it might change. Yes a million and one excuses for a behavior we know is wrong.

Stay and trust me, little by little they will steal your light, it will get dimmer and dimmer until your drained, you cant see your own good, you lose yourself.

All the while they are getting brighter, they are the ones with the light now but not the authentic light like yours, no they had none to start with.

No, they only have this light until you realize this is wrong and you leave, it is then you see they never had the light they said they did, no all of that was a act to get you, they believe what you believed, they are positive, they were all you were…in their minds but not in reality.

So they are off to find the next person they can suck the light out of, see they are light vampires they go around sucking light out of everyone.

I know each and every one of us has been hanging out with  a person and when we leave we feel drained ? Like you have no energy, sometimes so much so that you need to lay down, these are energy and light suckers and they are everywhere.

So today my friends remember to listen to that voice, pay attention do you keep picking the same kind of men? Women? Are the red flags there but you refuse to see them? Have friends said things but you refuse to listen…

HELLO!! These are all signs,  believe me I know, but God, the universe whatever you call it gave you this gift, this light, it is yours for a reason, it is your responsibility to keep it safe, to keep it burning don’t let the light vampires suck it, move on, let them go, protect your light for the people who need it and really appreciate it.

Don’t let anyone steal your light.

** I know this is a tough time of year so I will be putting this number out there for all that needs it…I been there and I know how dark it may seem especially during the Christmas season, there is help, it will get better…I am living proof of

“This too shall pass”**

Please get help, call today:

National Suicide Hotline: 24/7

1-800-273-8255

“Be the change you want to see”

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

***Now available***

My new book The blessing in Disguise

Selling on my website:

Home

And on Amazon.com

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_13?qid=1462358109&sr=1-13&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=the+blessing+in+Disguise

http://www.am6azon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_12?qid=1434452632&sr=8-12&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&keywords=the+Blessing+in+Disguise

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The loss of a friend

Tuesday Treadmill Treats

 

The loss of a friend

 

Sunday was a hard day for me as I was getting up to get ready to go to a funeral for my “Church husbands” brother. See he was a good man, healthy and strong, in the second half of his life and bam just like that he was gone, heart attack…here today, gone tomorrow.

 

This was the first funeral I had to attend since my own mothers so I was emotional from the get go. It was also raw because my dear cousins parnter pasted away four days before and I am still processing that because I love her so much and I feel her pain and loss.

 

I then get a text message that a dear childhood friend had passed that morning, he was my age, we went to school together, hell we even dated for a minute years ago.

 

He was always laughing, he would help you out in a heartbeat, he was a great brother, uncle and friend and just like that he’s gone. Talk about life is too short…

 

He didn’t know he was sick, he had a cold he couldn’t shake, a cough that wouldn’t go away. Back and forth to the doctors and hospitals and still no relief. When this last time they finally found something…too late stage 4 lung cancer and just like that, no sooner after, he is gone.

 

I tell you all the time, forget the dishes, forget the laundry, take your kids to the beach, stop and make time to color with them, make cookies, its the little things they will hold sacred.

 

Let go of the anger and resentment, forgive others and ask for forgiveness, drop everything for a friend to catch up. Be present in the moment with who you are with, leave your phones and emails, enjoy the time together.

 

Forget about money, its the memories you will think of when it’s your time and how you wished you’ve done more with family and loved ones.

 

Don’t die with regrets, do that bucket list now! Live life like is is your last day here because it very well might be. We are not given extra time to do a reover, you want to change? Do it now, not tomorrow not the new years, you might not have until then.

 

Your unhappy, in a horrible relationship, get out, you hate your job find one you love, even if it means less money. You are mad at relatives, forgive, you haven’t spoken to your parents, pick up the phone. Your mad at your kids over their lifestyle, get over it….all that is important is that you are living each day to the fullest, that if it’s your time to go you won’t say I would have, should have, could have …done this or that.

 

Believe me no one on their death bed is saying I wish I made more money, worked more hours, no they are wishing for one more day, one more minute with the ones they love to say the things they didn’t while they could.

 

So today my friends, like I tell you all the time, forgive, laugh often, live big because just like these three people life can be over in a second, live every second filled with love, compassion, joy, peace and gratitude.

 

My condolences to:

 

The Tomak family

 

My cousin Cindy and Mike’s family

 

and to The Graham family

 

May God hold you in his arms and comfort you. We may not know why they were taking from us so soon but we know they are with you…

 

** I know this is a tough time of year so I will be putting this number out there for all that needs it…I been there and I know how dark it may seem especially during the Christmas season, there is help, it will get better…I am living proof of

“This too shall pass”**

Please get help, call today:

National Suicide Hotline: 24/7

1-800-273-8255

 

“Be the change you want to see”

 

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

 

***Now available***

My new book The blessing in Disguise

Selling on my website:

 

Home

 

And on Amazon.com

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_13?qid=1462358109&sr=1-13&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=the+blessing+in+Disguise

http://www.am6azon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_12?qid=1434452632&sr=8-12&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&keywords=the+Blessing+in+Disguise

 

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Why I believe what I believe


Treadmill Treats Monday Message

 

Why I believe what I believe

 

Since I started this blog four years ago I decided that on Monday’s I would write Monday Message. It would be about what I leaned Sunday from church but from my perspective.

 

Yes, I do say things about my faith during the week as my faith is me and I am my faith so no I couldn’t write this blog without it being weaved into it.

 

I have ran into a lot of people that said I talk to much about my faith, people that said I am scaring people off and I quote “With all my God talk”

I have been asked if I’ve become a “Holy roller” I have even had people questioned my faith telling me I wasn’t “Christian enough”

 

See you can’t please everyone either I am too much or not enough but this is not their journey, it’s mine and mine alone.

 

I can’t live to please others, I’ve spent too many years trying to do that and guess what? They are never happy and never will be and you just end up burnt out trying.

 

No, I speak of my faith on the off chance that someone out there is reading this, someone is in a bad place, has hit rock bottom, can’t see the light maybe they are reading this and can see themselves and think if she did it, I can do it.

Maybe I can talk someone off the ledge and show them what a year can change, what blind faith can do, what stepping out with only his safety net can do for you.

 

I am here on the off chance that some women in a abusive relationship happens to come across my blog and thinks I can be happy too if I leave. Someone on the verge of suicide can see that I was there once oh hell twice and yet I held on and look at how amazing things turned out to be.

 

I write and speak of my faith because I know where it’s taken me, how it’s got me through the darkest times of my life and I want others to feel this.

 

Look I don’t care if your Christian, Buddhist, Jewish or Muslim. I don’t care what “God” You believe in as long as you believe in a higher power, something or someone greater than yourself that you can call out to, believe in and have faith with.

 

This is not about me preaching to you my beliefs, I am only here to tell you what works for me, that’s all. If you believe or not, is it up to you.

 

Sometimes I think I am here just talking to myself while I write this blog but then I get a sign, a message from someone asking me how I got to this amazing place of peace and joy. I get a call asking me to help them, speak to them or tell me that my words helped them and yes, it makes it all worth it.

 

See this is my purpose, this is my God given gift, to touch people, to share my testimony with others, to help others.

This is the way I get to do that, to share what I know and hey if you don’t like my path…your more than welcome to find your own. If you don’t like all my “God” talk believe me there are plenty of other blogs out there to read. Delete me, block me, unfriend me but I will continue to do me in spite of it.

 

I never sugar coat anything, I always say I am not Willy Wonker, I give it to you real. Will it be easy? Oh hell no, you will fall and fail, you will think “I thought if I gave over my life to God it would be perfect”

 

Please…. then you haven’t read my blogs, it will be harder, you will still cry but it will teach you what it means to give up worry, stress, to believe in something you can’t see, something bigger than you through the storms.

 

You will find peace and joy but it will take all of you to hold on to it. But once you have you will do anything to keep it, believe me nothing will become as important as your relationship with your higher being…for me it’s God….

 

So today my friends, I leave you with this, this is what has gotten me through, my God, my faith, my belief and my church and my church family. All of this has chanced my life as I could never imagined it could be and I will spend the rest of my life thanking my God.

 

A lifetime praising his name and telling others of my journey would never be enough. If you want to reach out to me I am always here, I can be reached by message, calls or emails but I will always take the time to reach out to help.

 

See the gratitude, the peace and the joy I feel each and every day is why I believe what I believe….

 

** I know this is a tough time of year so I will be putting this number out there for all that needs it…I been there and I know how dark it may seem especially during the Christmas season, there is help, it will get better…I am living proof of

“This too shall pass”**

Please get help, call today:

National Suicide Hotline: 24/7

1-800-273-8255

 

“Be the change you want to see”

 

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

 

***Now available***

My new book The blessing in Disguise

Selling on my website:

 

Home

 

And on Amazon.com

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_13?qid=1462358109&sr=1-13&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=the+blessing+in+Disguise

http://www.am6azon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_12?qid=1434452632&sr=8-12&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&keywords=the+Blessing+in+Disguise

 

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Mixed signals

Tgif Treadmill Treats

 

Mixed signals

 

How do you know if the signals you think your getting are actually the signals? In today’s world people don’t know what they want, they have no idea the baggage they are carrying.

 

They say one thing yet their actions show another.They are hurt from before, they are afraid of commitment. They are hot and then cold, its no wonder there are so many confused people out there.

 

I was speaking to a friend recently and she told me a story and asked for my advise. (Hello! Does she read my blogs? Did she know my tract record with men?)

 

Anyway back to the story… she been friends with a man for years, when all of a sudden there seemed to be a shift in their friendship.

He seemed more attentive, he touched her more when speaking, he looked at her with longer eye contact, he started asking her to hang out more often, he starting treating her like a date more than a friend.

 

They started to go out, go dancing…things were hot and there was definitely a chemistry there that wasn’t there before between them.

 

She said it was all the typical signs of a man courting a women but they were friends, she was confused. So I gave her my two cents (with my track record might have been worth, half a cent)

I told her to ask him outright what was going on, that way she will know where she stands.

 

So after yet another hot night of dancing she found the courage to ask if there was more between them and was shocked when he said they were just friends.

 

Could she have been that wrong? All the signs were pointing that way and yes, they had been friends for a while and they hung out but this was different, it seemed like their friendship shifted into the

“I want more relm”

 

She says she is more confused than ever because he has done so much for her throughout their friendship and she was hoping that this might turn into something more.

 

When she came back to tell me what happened and ask my opinion again, I was as confused as she was…I’ve been there with a man who was hot then cold, in then out, the chemistry was off the charts but yet he wouldn’t step up. When I finally asked where I stood he also said friends, which was fine but there had to be a clear line, no touching, no comments about dating others, no sexual comments, there had to be a clear friend line and when he couldn’t keep those boundaries I stopped talking to him. He then went on to blowing up my phone, text messages and Facebook messages asking me why.

 

Boundaries….there has to be boundaries if you friends be friends….I dont flirt with my friends, I don’t dirty dance with my friends, I don’t and don’t let them cross that line of sly comments.

I say upfront we are friends and we will always be just friends please understand that. I don’t play games or give off signals unless I want it to go somewhere else.

 

Look we are grown ass people now stop playing games liked  we played back in high school. Step up or step out simple as that.

 

I can’t figure men out, I have a bad picker, I am no one to give advise but my advise if you obviously have no one else to give you any, is be honest, ask straight away, and if you can’t take the answer then set up boundaries, clear boundaries you both agree to or step out if it’s too much for you to handle or your feelings are already to deep.

 

Life is too short to play games, to sit around and wonder…what if…Maybe..

Maybe not ….

Please! Who has time for this? We have jobs and kids and responsibilities, I don’t have time for games so please say what you want or what your looking for in the long run.

 

Men, don’t say on your profile your looking for a long term relationship and then text a women something sexual your lying, be real… you want to hook up.

 

Women don’t say you want casual then get upset when he dates others, be honest say your looking for serious.

Say what you mean and mean what you say!!

 

So today my friends remember be clear, people can’t read minds, don’t put off signals to confuse others and if your unsure for f***s sake say it…”Hey I like you but I am not sure where this is going or I like you but I am not over my last relationship or I am not feeling this” but be clear and be honest and for God’s sake don’t give off mixed signals.

 

** I know this is a tough time of year so I will be putting this number out there for all that needs it…I been there and I know how dark it may seem especially during the Christmas season, there is help, it will get better…I am living proof of “This too shall pass”**

Please get help, call today:

National Suicide Hotline: 24/7

1-800-273-8255

 

“Be the change you want to see”

 

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

 

***Now available***

My new book The blessing in Disguise

Selling on my website:

 

Home

 

And on Amazon.com

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_13?qid=1462358109&sr=1-13&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=the+blessing+in+Disguise

http://www.am6azon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_12?qid=1434452632&sr=8-12&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&keywords=the+Blessing+in+Disguise

 

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Random acts of kindness

Thursday Treadmill Treats

 

Random acts of kindness

 

About four years ago I decided to stop watching the news on Tv. I always felt depressed after watching it. For an hour it was nothing but horrible things people in this world do to each other on a daily basis.

 

If you were from another planet and you watched our news you would run back to where you came from thinking we are all about hate and negatively.

Bottom line, it sucks and I decided I didn’t want that kind of negatively in my life so I chose to stop watching.

 

I listen to the radio, I get the news in 3 minute bits so I’ll know if the world is going to come to a end or if we are in the cone of death, three minutes of bad news is plenty.

I want to hear or read about the good in this world, I want to know how we helped one another.

 

How we came together, like when 911 happened, there were so many stories through out the tragedy, of people banning together, helping each other. New Yorkers shined, they showed the world what we were made of, that we had huge hearts and we were tough and we stuck together.

 

Yes, we need to learn to pay it forward, help a neighbor out when they lost their jobs and have children to feed or take care of. We need to help our elderly who cant do things around their homes anymore or veteran who served our country.

We need to buy someone a cup of coffee just to brighten their day, how about saying a kind word to someone? You have no idea, you might be the only kind word they will hear all day.

 

You never know what someone is going through especially during this Christmas season when so many people feel alone and lonely.

 

What does it take to slow down and do a good deed? Is your life so dam important that you have no time to stop and give a kind word, help out someone?

 

People say the world needs to change… no, the world doesn’t need to change we need to change.

 

Every kind act we do changes the world, every time we post a good deed on social media, every time we pay it forward, someone else does the same and before you know it the negative turns into positive.

 

Before you know it we are watching good news on Tv, there are more shows that show the goodness of people, more and more people are kinder. This is how it works one person at a time, doesn’t matter if you think your the only one, that you can’t make a difference, you can.

 

You cant imagine what one person can do, can start… look at Dr.Martin Luther King, look at Mother Theresa, look at the countless others that took that one stand and changed the lives of thousands.

 

Sometimes I think why I am writing? Who is reading this? Is anyone reading my stuff? Maybe I am fooling myself, maybe I can’t help people with my words but then I get a letter or email telling me that my words helped them or touched their hearts.

That one person that I know I somehow helped, keeps me going, look I am not looking to help the whole world just one person at a time.

 

So today my friends, remember it all starts with you, yes, I know your life is busy Hello! Ever read what I do everyday?

But it’s bigger than you, it’s not all about you, you were made to help, to give, to show love and compassion for each other. So take the time this season and do something good, pay it forward.

 

See I am paying it forward one person at a time, I give of myself, I still have a big open heart no matter how many times it may get stomped on, I will still see the good in people I will still do good because like I say in every blog “Be the change you want to see”

I want to see the change so I will start with myself…

 

** I know this is a tough time of year so I will be putting this number out there for all that needs it…I been there and I know how dark it may seem especially during the Christmas season, there is help, it will get better…I am living proof of “This too shall pass”**

Please get help, call today:

National Suicide Hotline: 24/7

1-800-273-8255

 

“Be the change you want to see”

 

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

 

***Now available***

My new book The blessing in Disguise

Selling on my website:

 

Home

 

And on Amazon.com

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_13?qid=1462358109&sr=1-13&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=the+blessing+in+Disguise

http://www.am6azon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_12?qid=1434452632&sr=8-12&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&keywords=the+Blessing+in+Disguise

 

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Dam Ive been through a lot of shit


Hump day Treadmill Treats

 

I’ve been through a lot of shit…

 

Ever see that quote on social media with the cartoon character saying “When I look back I can’t believe how much shit I’ve been through”

Well that about sums it up for my life.

 

I look back and think dam…how did I survive? How much crap can one person go through and still have faith, still see the good in people, still have a heart that full of love…all I can say is..but…God.

 

Yesterday as I came home from the gym, I did 16 laps, had a great sauna and steam room, it was a great workout and I felt great. I had a spring in my step, singing to myself, it was just one of those great mornings where you feel good to be alive.

 

Riding home the sun was coming up, it was a magnificent sky and I was listening to Kirk Franklin’s song Over, it goes…. it’s not over, if you got air to breathe it’s not over…get up cause it’s not over…your a fighter… with strenght from somewhere above…you’ve been here before, but you made it…even when your enemy turns out to be your best friend…its not over..

 

I pulled up to my home to see it all decorated in Christmas lights and I sat in my driveway and balled like a baby. Why you ask? Because I know where I’ve been and how far I’ve come.

 

I know the bottom and am so grateful for all I have now, so much so it brings me to tears all the time. I am here to tell you I am glad that all of that happened to me, it was to make me stronger, it was to believe in something I couldn’t see, it was to teach me never take anything for granted.

 

It was to give me this gratitude that I feel each and every day I walk into my home, into a client’s home, into the gym.

I know the blessings I’ve received… this home, this business I have, this body that can walk every day and is healthy, my girls, my family and friends.

I have a peace and joy I never imagined, I have no stress or worry, I take none of this for granted and I am so very grateful.

 

So yes, I am glad I’ve been hurt, glad I was raped, that I’ve been lied to and cheated on, glad I went through a 24 year verbally abusive marriage, that I had drug and alcohol problems, that I hit rock bottom more than once because I know now where my strength comes from.

 

I know I will survive that no matter what comes against me again, I will stand back up and fight against it, I will come back time and time again because that is what a fighter does, he never gives up no matter how tough it gets… he keeps fighting because he knows the prize is going to be amazing, so amazing that it will take your breathe away and bring you to tears.

 

So today my friends if you think I can’t do this, its too hard, you want to give up, look back at what you’ve already been through, look how far you’ve come and know that you can do it, they may knock you down but your not out for the count and then you too can say I’ve been through a lot of shit…I survived and I am blessed.

 

** I know this is a tough time of year so I will be putting this number out there for all that needs it…I been there and I know how dark it may seem especially during the Christmas season, there is help, it will get better…I am living proof of “This too shall pass”**

Please get help, call today:

National Suicide Hotline: 24/7

1-800-273-8255

 

 

“Be the change you want to see”

 

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

 

***Now available***

My new book The blessing in Disguise

Selling on my website:

 

Home

 

And on Amazon.com

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_13?qid=1462358109&sr=1-13&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=the+blessing+in+Disguise

http://www.am6azon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_12?qid=1434452632&sr=8-12&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&keywords=the+Blessing+in+Disguise

 

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Our lives must serve an enteral purpose

Treadmill Treats Monday Message

 

Our lives must serve an enteral purpose

 

We are built for a greater cause, it is to serve the greatness of God.

 

See anytime you live for material things that is not what you are here for, these things are temporary. When we leave they are not coming with us.

You brought nothing when you came into this world and you will leave with nothing when you go.

 

These things are not important in the big picture, these things will not bring you enteral life.

 

Sometimes we get stuck on more, the bigger the better, keeping up with the Jones, to show others how well your doing.

Don’t become dependant on your sucess,

“What will it profit you to gain the whole world? Over seeking first the glory of God”

 

You are not in control, he has the last word over your life, even in your after life, you are just here for a while, all of “this” is only temporary.

 

Do you know why we are really here? It’s not to get the biggest house, the most money, the best designer clothes, no sorry to tell you none of that matters.

 

“For we are his workmanship, created in Christ for good works” Yes, we were created for his good as this bible verse tells us. His good not our stuff, not to live a me, me, me world.

 

We are here to spread the word, to show others love, even your enemies. We are here to teach compassion, to teach forgiveness, to care for your neighbors, to give of yourself, to do his works.

 

See the problem is your trying to do this by yourself, you just want the job, you think..I just want to get married, I just want to make money…

Many of you think fulfillment is coming by the things you have, the job, the position you have and the stuff you acquire but it will never be enough, you will eventually want more and more.

 

Your here to please him, your here to fulfill your purpose, that gift we all have that he gave us, you here to make the world better a better place then it was before you came here, this is what we are here for, this is what we will be judged on.

 

Do you really think while your at death’s door you will be thinking “I wish I  had a bigger house, more purses, more money” Believe me that is not what you will be thinking, you will be wishing you spent more time with your family, that you were a better person, that you should have done things differently.

 

Now some of you might not believe and I am not here to tell you what to believe in. I am good in whatever you believe in, this is my journey, I’m doing me, you do you.

 

This is what gets me through my day and in the end you might be right maybe there isn’t a God, a heaven or Hell ….. but what if there is? I know I will not be taking that chance, I know what he has done in my life, I  know where I’ve come from. I can still remember the feeling of hitting rock bottom twice, I know what happened when I turned my life over to him, sorry I am not taking any chances, all I do, I do for him and his grace and mercy.

 

So today my friends remember we are here for an enteral purpose, his purpose, to do his work because the only thing that matters is when you come before him that he tells you

“Well done my child, well done”

 

“Be the change you want to see”

 

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

 

***Now available***

My new book The blessing in Disguise

 

Selling on my website:

 

Home

 

And on Amazon.com

 

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_13?qid=1462358109&sr=1-13&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=the+blessing+in+Disguise

http://www.am6azon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_12?qid=1434452632&sr=8-12&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&keywords=the+Blessing+in+Disguise

 

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Learning from our elders

Tgif Treadmill Treats

 

Learning from our elders

 

This is the last of this week’s series of being grateful.

I leave you with this one, how we can learn from our elders. How we can learn gratitude from them, learn to be grateful for them and all they have done for us.

 

If you read my blog you know I am a single mom and I have 3 jobs, one of them is doing hair. Recently I got a one day a week gig at a assisted living place, doing all the residents hair.

 

In this country we tend to throw away our elderly, we don’t think they have much to offer any more. We are not like the Chinese who cherise their elderly as people with wisdom, people they look up to for advice.

No, we don’t do that here, once you get to a certain age, you are no longer relevant, you have nothing to offer so most times they throw you into a nasty nursing home never to be seen again.

 

I know this for a fact as I see this week after week. People who are smart, funny and have a world of knowledge just left by themselves after giving so much to so many people.

 

I see this gift in them and I love to talk to them. I want to know how did they survive without washers, lights, refrigerators?

What it was like working in the cotton fields, being a women in a time where you had no voice? I have so many questions.

 

Yes, we have grown so much since then but they have so much to teach us.

 

One of my clients is 102! And when I tell you she is as sharp as a knife, she dresses up every day, gets her hair done once a week, can walk and definitely knows what she wants.

I want to grow up to be her!

I recently asked her what is the secret to living to 102, she said have good children and to do what you want to do.

 

She traveled the world by herself at 40, she started a new career at 50, she fought for women’s rights even back then, she joined the Israeli military at 55!

 

Now keep in mind that doesn’t sound like much in today’s standards but that was 50 plus years ago, when women were suppose to know their place, where women didn’t dare to dream big like that.

 

She said do what you love, do what you want even when they say you can’t. She said break barriers, do the things you thought you never could.

 

Yes, she is my hero, she never complains, she is never negative, she had a wonderful life and yes, her children visit her all the time, unbelievable.

 

Yes, I have heard stories from them that I have only read about in books, things I could never imagine having to go through, escaping from communist countries, surving the Holocaust, the drought, the war, the rations, things we never had to deal with, thank God.

 

Yes, their tenacity is amazing, their will to survive, their ability to change with the times, all of this we can learn from them, if we take the time.

 

So today my friends remember that our elderly are gifts, they fought the battles so that we could have our freedoms we have today.

 

They are the great minds that invented so many of today’s comforts, they have seen and heard so much more than we will ever, even as smart as we think we are. They’ve done so much more than we could ever do today without machines or Youtube!

 

Learn from these resources, treat them like the national treasures that they are. Take time out of your “busy” lives and go visit them, sit and talk with them, treat them with the respect they deserve and be grateful that they paved the way for you, so many years ago.

 

“Be the change you want to see”

 

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

 

***Now available***

My new book The blessing in Disguise

 

Selling on my website:

Home

 

And on Amazon.com

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_13?qid=1462358109&sr=1-13&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=the+blessing+in+Disguise

http://www.am6azon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_12?qid=1434452632&sr=8-12&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&keywords=the+Blessing+in+Disguise

 

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