When God speaks to you

Treadmill Treats Monday Message

 

When God speaks to you

 

I have been through a lot in my life, I have hit rock bottom twice, I wanted to check out more than a few times, I’ve lost way to many loved ones, I’ve been raped, I’ve overcame a drug and alcohol problem. I have been lied to, cheated on, abused and controlled.

 

Yes, it’s been a hard life but I keep persevering, I get knocked down and no matter how bloody and battered I am, I get back up and keep fighting.

Since I gave my life over to God I realized that one of my worst traits is that I am hard headed. Okay, okay, I’ve always known that, it must be this Italian thing but I need multiple signs from God to tell me what to do.

 

When I wanted to leave my marriage I prayed for signs and God gave them to me over and over but it took me many more years of pain and heartache to listen and finally leave.

 

When I was dating Mr. Con Artist I knew from the beginning that this was not for me yet I kept asking for sign after sign until God said you want a sign…Bam and he gave me his password for his phone so I could see it with my own eyes that he was cheating and lying.

 

When he told me to give my last 100.00 for groceries to someone at church, I protested, I got mad. I said this is the only money I have, I was not listening but I gave in when I said “If I turn around and she’s the first person I see, I will” Bam! There she was and it was then that I listened.

 

Little did I know her lights were going to be shut off and she needed 96.00 by the morning, as she cried to me after I gave it to her but here’s the thing I got 3 new clients the next day, my money back, tripled!

 

When I started this business, I needed yet again multiple signs, and time and time again God provided them for me, yet I am still not listening until he had to go as far as getting me fired on my first day so that I would have to depend on him. (Who gets fired on their first day?) That is God closing the door you keep opening!

From that day on I have learned to trust and depend on him.

 

Yes, I am slow and I am new to this walk so I am still learning but the lessons are quicker now and I pray more for the answers and listen, for the past has taught me to know his voice.

I learned that he knows what is best for me, because I can’t seem to distinguish that, yes, even at this age…

 

So recently as I prayed about another situation in my life , which by the way I didn’t pray about in the beginning and I definitely should have, well I got a message but hard headed me didn’t listen.

 

I had my own agenda, I was listening to my own voice, when things came up yet again, I didn’t listen to that voice, when others said things I still didn’t listen…Hello, I thought, I am a grown women, who are you telling me?

 

I felt my peace leaving…Okay people big, big sign here… when you finally get peace in your life, when you can stand in a storm and not worry about everything coming at you, that my friends is peace, true peace.

 

And I know this feeling as I’ve had it before and also felt it leave but still I didn’t listen, so when I couldn’t shake this feeling anymore, when my peace was wavering yet again, I knew I had to ask him yet again for another sign.

 

A few weeks ago at our annual International Believers Conference not one, not two but three preachers gave me a message I needed to hear and I knew I must listen because as the last message spoke to me the most.

 

“God has great things in store for you but he’s waiting for you to pack up their stuff and get them out first before he will give you, your blessing for your purpose” ….Signs???? You think??

 

Yes, I need that rock to hit me upside the head to listen…

But I know how ever much this will hurt, it is about the bigger picture, it is about my walk with my God and it’s about, if I will listen, if I will follow.

 

If your not a believer it sounds like a crock, what do you mean signs, he talks to you, are you nuts? It’s all good, I tell you all the time, you do you and that’s great if it works for you but trust me this works for me, time and time again…

See only if your a true believer, than you know God’s voice, it is only then that you would never ask “What does God’s voice sound like or how does he speak to you?”

 

So today my friends, remember this is your walk, you need to do what is best for you, you need to listen and look for signs for the prayers you are praying and you need to know that everything happens for a reason…don’t question it…just do it, just listen when God speaks to you.

 

“Be the change you want to see”

 

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

 

***Now available***

My book “The blessing in Disguise”

Selling on my website:

 

Home

 

And on Amazon.com

 

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_13?qid=1462358109&sr=1-13&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=the+blessing+in+Disguise

 

http://www.am6azon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_12?qid=1434452632&sr=8-12&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&keywords=the+Blessing+in+Disguise

 

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Finding your courage yet again

Tgif Treadmill Treats

 

Finding your courage yet again.

 

There has been many changes in my life in the last four years, it seems to be incredible that so many changes could happen to a person who use to be so afraid of change.

Even still my life is changing..even when I think this may be it…bam….the rug gets pulled out from under me yet again. But here’s the thing I am no longer afraid.

 

Yes, I was afraid, I hated change, I stood in a loveless, misrable marriage for way too many years because I was afraid. Fear kept me stuck, fear ruled my life and made me unhappy.

 

Yet here I am stronger because of all of that.

Yes, all of the pain, all of the fear gave me strength, gave me a testimony that I have today. I am so grateful that my life has been so shooked up because it made me realize that I can do anything.

 

Yes, I am thankful for all the pain, for all the knock downs, for all the times I laid on the floor and cried out for help, yes, for all of that, I am grateful for.

 

Some of you may have read my book and are thinking look how many horrible things happen to this women over and over again and she got through it, even when she didn’t think she could get through, yet again she did.

 

Here’s the thing yes, I was a strong women at one point. Yes, I survived a rape, an abortion, an attempt suicide, drug and alcohol addiction, many deaths and losses and friends turning their backs on me.Then to give away all of my strength and power to one person and lose myself.

 

So yes, you can start out on the bottom and sometimes you have to build yourself and your life over again and again, that doesn’t mean your life is over.

 

I lost my voice, I lost my courage, I believed all he said, that I was weak, that I couldn’t do it without him, that I never be able to do it. I was afraid, I didn’t think I could do it, I had heard his words for so many years I believed them, I became them. I was stuck, like many of you reading this.

 

How many of you are still replaying the words your parents spoke about you? Your family, even your spouse? How many of you feel their words shaped your life? “Well they said I was stupid, worthless so I am…

I can never make it…I will never become a doctor or lawyer they are right who I am kidding, who do I think I am?”

Their voices, their put downs influence your life, your decisions, made you who you are today.

 

But all of that, all of the voices in your head, all of your fears that you are worthless are finished when you decide to change your life.

 

Here are some steps for you to change your life and pull yourself up yet again

 

1- Believe in a higher power, doesn’t matter which “one” just find one that you can believe in.

 

2- Love yourself, sounds simple but it’s not when your still hearing others voices

 

3- Stop listening to the voices, even your own that says I can’t…

 

4- Believe anything is possible, doesn’t matter how big, how impossible… just believe.

 

5- Envision your life as you want it, dream about it, see it as if it has already happened.

 

6- Don’t let a knock down, knock you out, the fight is never over, you can come back stronger and win!

 

7-Have a positive attitude, never say never or I can’t.

 

8- Let go of some people, not everyone is rowing your boat, some people are drilling holes, know who is who and dump them.

 

9- Let go of hatred and anger, forgive…not for them…for you, so you can move on.

 

10- Dream big, even if you can’t imagine how it will happen, you olny need to see the big picture…you only need to be positive, to believe, to imagine, the rest will come.

 

So today my friends, change is just one thought away, one second for you to decide no matter how many knock downs I had, I am going to win, no matter how battered or bruised I may be, I am going to overcome it, because even if no one eles believes in me, I will.

 

I will dream big and know that I will achieve all I put my mind to no matter how many obstacles come…

I can and will do this!

 

“Be the change you want to see”

 

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life was over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

 

***Now available***

My new book The blessing in Disguise

Selling on my website:

 

Www.treadmilltreats.com

 

And on Amazon.com

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_6_twi_pap_2?qid=1452884833&sr=8-6&keywords=the+blessing+in+Disguise

 

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My wonderful women friends

Thursday Treadmill Treats

 

My wonderful women friends

 

Yesterday was International Women’s Day and I wrote about how we should uplift each other every day not just on this day.

 

As I was writing that piece I was thinking of how blessed I have been in my life with my women friends.

I know that growing up I was a Tom boy and didn’t have many girlfriends, all most all of my friends were guys.

 

I remember my girls coming home from school telling me all the drama between them and their girlfriends and asking me how I delt with it growing up. I laughed and told them when you had guy friends you didn’t have drama, you had competition, you had ego’s but no drama.

I guess that why I feel I can do anything, that I am so competitive because it was do or die with the boys, they were not cutting you any slack, keep up or get left behind.

 

As I got older I realized how women friends filled a different part of your soul, they understood you, they had that ear to listen, they felt your pain, I had a different connection with them, then I did with my guy friends.

 

They understood about my marriage problems, my child rearing problems, being a women and trying to be superwoman, even if you were dying, you would die trying rather than admit defeat.

They got it, they knew your journey and they were always there to lift you up.

 

I now have older friends, younger friends, I have black friends, Spanish friends, Muslim friends, Jewish friends, I am blessed with a melting pot of amazing women in my life.

 

Married friends, single friends, single moms, gay friends, straight friends.

 

I have friends for a few months and friends I’ve known all my life. I still talk to and see so many of these people that I’ve known since I was 5 and moved upstate.

 

See it doesn’t matter they all bring something to my table, they all fill my heart with their kindness, their humor, their strength, these are some of the amazing women I am blessed with.

 

I learned a few years ago that not everyone you grew up with, are still who you think they are and I have no time for drama or pettiness so I decided that I have enough great friends and I cut them loose.

 

I’ve learned I don’t have to deal with negative, petty, backstabbing “so called” friends, when I have the real deal in my circle, so bye-bye there’s the door, don’t let it hit you in the ass on the way out!

 

I tell my real friends how much I admire them, I tell them they are my hero’s, my role models.

I let them know what an amazing job they are doing, how I am their biggest cheerleader. Yes, and I always tell them how much I love and appreciate them, all the time.

 

This is what we are supposed to do, this is what real women do, this is what a decent human being does.

 

So today my friends, be thankful if you have a circle of women friends, be thankful if you can pick up the phone and have someone talk you down from the ledge, if you have great friends than you are truly blessed, never take that for granted.

 

I would like to thank all of my girlfriends and my “Soul Sisters” for filling my life with love, laughter and a lifetime of memories….I love you all!!

 

“Be the change you want to see”

 

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

 

***Now available***

My book “The blessing in Disguise”

Selling on my website:

 

Home

 

And on Amazon.com

 

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_13?qid=1462358109&sr=1-13&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=the+blessing+in+Disguise

 

http://www.am6azon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_12?qid=1434452632&sr=8-12&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&keywords=the+Blessing+in+Disguise

 

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International Women’s Day

Hump day Treadmill Treats

 

International Women’s Day

 

Today is International Women’s Day, a day we celebrate each other as women. A day to say hey good job, we support you, we honor you.

 

I dont know, years ago we didn’t have days for these things. Grandparents day,

Secretary day, Friend day.

Hello they even have a national Eat dinner with your family day Wtf? Do we really need a day to tell us to do this?

 

It was just about being kind to people all year long but now suddenly we need a “day” to remind us to do something nice for a certain group of people, something we should do all year long.

 

But as it may be, today is International Women’s Day, it’s a day to tell us to uplift another woman, to tell a woman how great we think she is.

 

How wonderful and splendidly she’s made and how the world would never exist without this wonderful human being called the woman. Not only does she give life, she protects life, she nurtures life, she is behind you, she is your biggest cheerleader, she is there for a shoulder to cry on, she is it all, the whole package.

 

Yes, women are exceptional creatures and guess what? I already know that and if you read my blog, you would know that every day in my real life I try to uplift women, to give praise and honor to these amazing creatures.

 

I don’t get all of these reality TV shows where these women are back biting and horrible to each, they try to put each other down, to make each other look bad to others.

 

These aren’t real woman, these are little girls who’ve never grew up, little girls with jealousy issues, image issues, self esteem issues, lots of frigging issues!

 

Because if your a real women, you are happy for another woman’s achievements, you are happy when your friend gets a promotion or wins money or finds a perfect guy.

 

You’ve happy for them, you want to see them achieve things, even if your not achieving things yourself at the moment, you’re still happy for them. That is what a real woman’s is about, a real woman never looks down on another woman unless she’s giving her a helping hand up.

 

A real women wants other women to succeed, to pave the way for the next generation to come, to be role models, to be leaders, to change the world.

 

I have been blessed with many women friends, I cry with them, I hurt when they hurt, I laugh when they laugh, I feel pride when they accomplish things.

 

I feel joy when good things happen to them. That is what a real women does, she encourages, she gives words of comfort, she tells you, you can do anything, be anything, she is your ride or die girl…

 

She is a true women, don’t get fooled by these other “women”

These so called “reality stars” trying to be women, they have no clue…these are not the women I want my girls to look up to, I want them to see real women.

 

I want them to know I don’t need International Women’s Day to put out there how much I love and admire other women. I’m not afraid to say it, it doesn’t make me look any less of a woman to compliment or give praise to another woman, it just makes me a decent human being and maybe that’s what we all need to be today, more decent human beings to each other.

 

Two people that are different two people that aren’t the same religion or have the sexual preferences that we do or are different in the way they think, maybe we should just be decent human beings to each other and we won’t need a special day and maybe just maybe every day will be that special day.

 

Happy International Women’s Day to all the beautiful, smart, caring, amazing Queens out there, we celebrate you today and every day!

 

“Be the change you want to see”

 

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

 

***Now available***

My book “The blessing in Disguise”

Selling on my website:

 

Home

 

And on Amazon.com

 

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_13?qid=1462358109&sr=1-13&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=the+blessing+in+Disguise

 

http://www.am6azon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_12?qid=1434452632&sr=8-12&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&keywords=the+Blessing+in+Disguise

 

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We all need to own what we do

Tuesday Treadmill Treats

 

We all need to own what we do

 

We all need to own what we do in our lives. You need to stand up and own who you are and the choices you made.

 

I write this blog every day, I put my self out there to be judged every day. I own each and every mistake I’ve made and then I place it out here for you and the world to see.

 

I owned that I stayed in a horrible marriage for 24 years, I owned that I stayed because of the money and my fear.

I owned that I had a emotional affair for the last five years of that marriage, I owned that after I got separated, that I fell in love with a man who wouldn’t or couldn’t love me back.

 

After my divorce, I owned that I was taken in by someone who lied and cheated on me.

I own that even all these years later I haven’t learned my lessons and am still picking the same type of men.

 

I own that I still have issues with anyone trying to control me and accepting help from others.

These are my mistakes and I fully stand up and take responsibility for all of them.

 

You cant blame people for your mistakes, you can’t say because I got caught, it is all your fault. You can’t say this is all your issues because I refuse to see my own. But people do this every day, they blame and point the finger at others because they are not willing to see the problem in themselves.

 

If you want to grow and change, you must grow up and deal with the aftermath of what you have done, it is only then you will be able to change.

 

I remember being with my girls in Ny and I was driving their Aunt Pam’s car and as we drove it into the garage and parked, I opened the hatch not knowing the ceiling wasn’t high enough. I heard a sickening sound and when we got out to see what we did, there was a huge dent in the back of her trunk.

 

My girls who were young at the time, said “Mommy dont tell Aunt Pam, she will get mad, she won’t know ” I said “No, but I will, I did this, I own this”

So I marched them upstairs to apologize and offer to pay to fix it, they started to laugh, come to find out the dent was there from them not us.

 

I taught them to do the right thing, for them to own what they do, then to apologize and take responsibility to try to make things right.

 

We grow, we learn, we change, hopefully for the better but unless your willing to step up and deal with your issues, you will never go on to your next level.

 

So today my friends, own up, believe me its not so bad, at least your not doing it in front of thousands of people like I do each and every day. Then forgive yourself and let it go.

 

That is what I am doing today, I am owing my mistakes yet again, I am forgiving him, I am forgiving myself and letting it go.

 

I’ve learned the lesson I was supposed to, to listen to my intuition, to be still and hear God’s voice, to trust what I am feeling, see life is too short for regrets!

Don’t spend anymore time on expired people, when you know it’s not right, walk away, follow your heart.

Life is short dont waste a minute of it, Life it big, live it to the fullest, live it with a clear heart, live it!!!

 

“Be the change you want to see”

 

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

 

***Now available***

My book “The blessing in Disguise”

Selling on my website:

 

Home

 

And on Amazon.com

 

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_13?qid=1462358109&sr=1-13&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=the+blessing+in+Disguise

 

http://www.am6azon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_12?qid=1434452632&sr=8-12&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&keywords=the+Blessing+in+Disguise

 

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What kind of faith do you have?

Treadmill Treats Monday Message

 

What kind of faith do you have?

 

I have realized that all I need in my life is my faith in God, as long as I have that, everything else will fall in place.

 

It took me along time to realize this, there were alot of mistakes, lots of crying and worrying, there were alot of dark times that made me see this clearly.

 

A lot of religious people scare off “regular” people who are trying to find their faith. They make it seem like you need to be perfect in order to find faith, in order to talk to God, to come to church.

 

So people think “Well I’m not perfect so this won’t work for me” and walk away. Steve Harvey always says “You will never be perfect, so quit trying!” And he’s right, its not about being perfect, its about trying to be the best you can be, that’s all.

 

Its about getting to the place where you can find peace and joy because you have found faith. You know no matter what storm you might go through, you will hold on to that faith and know it will be alright.

 

You will look at your bad times and think “What is the lesson I am suppose to be getting from this? or look at it as, this test will be for my testimony” It is then you will not lose hope.

 

When your business is not going as you would like it, when your salary gets cut, when you lose your job, when the storms are coming at you, you will stay calm in the storm because you know you have deep faith and you know God will provide for you.

 

Maybe your stressing over your kids, your love life or your family. You don’t know what to do and its tearing you up inside. Your losing sleep, your hair is falling out, your making yourself sick, I know because I was there…I did this…and guess what? It didn’t change a dam thing!

 

Some of you, you might be saying “Well she’s in a dream world, what, am I not going to worry? Yeah right, who’s going to pay my bills, she has lost her mind”

 

When its just the opposite,

I have my mind and it is clear.

I chose not to worry about things I cannot change, It is better to make myself sick? Worry, have stress? Are those things going to make it better?Pay my bills? Get me more money?

 

No, it won’t, but if I keep my faith, pray and know it will be okay, I might be in the same situation for now but I can feel peace, I am calm, I can hear God’s voice about what is to come next and I am more open to things I have never thought about before.

 

Sometimes life has a way of making you slow down and take a look around, to make you appreciate what you do have, it is all the way you look at things.

 

So today my friends, I am here to tell you that no matrer what will come at me, no matter how many times I fall down, I will keep up my New year’s resolution from a few years ago…to “Pray and let God worry”

 

Which is a wonderful quote from Martin Luther King. Each and every day I do just that.

Try it, it is amazing how it can change your life! Ask yourself what kind of faith do you have?

And sit quietly during the storm…knowing he has you.

 

“Be the change you want to see”

 

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

 

***Now available***

My book “The blessing in Disguise”

Selling on my website:

 

Home

 

And on Amazon.com

 

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_13?qid=1462358109&sr=1-13&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=the+blessing+in+Disguise

 

http://www.am6azon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_12?qid=1434452632&sr=8-12&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&keywords=the+Blessing+in+Disguise

 

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A mans true colors

Tgif Treadmill Treats

 

A man’s true colors

 

Yesterday me and my cousin were talking about men and how they put up this front when they meet you.

 

Now I know this can also be said about women but as I’ve never dated a women I can only tell if from my perspective from dealing with men.

 

When you first meet a man, he tells you what you want to hear, he tells you your beautiful, your smart, some men even go as far as telling you he enjoys the same things you do.

 

Maybe they know what we are looking for….maybe they go as above and beyond and seek out things about you, maybe even read your book to see what your dreaming about, to see what your longing to hear and then they use that to reel you in.

 

Men are chameleons, they can put on different colors to be who they are not. Some men have no personality of their own and so they take on yours.

 

It’s only when they feel comfortable, when they feel they got you, will their true colors will come out, when the real man, will rear his head.

 

Most of the time, it is too late for us, we bought it hook, line and sinker, we are in love with “this man” And bam! Here comes his twin brother who has been waiting in the wings to appear.

 

His evil twin, his narcissistic, passive aggressive, racist, controlling, overbearing twin is now in control and your thrown for a loop. At first you think your just hearing things, this sweet man wouldn’t, couldn’t say or do these things…

 

Then he will apologize, he will send flowers, he knows he pushed the envelope too far, he scared that all of his hard work of pretend will be ruined.

 

You, the trusting soul you are will think maybe it was me, he might even hint, it’s you, your over sensitive, you think maybe I was, so you let it go.

But there is that feeling deep inside your gut telling you

“No! Listen to me!”

This will be the first of many red flags you will see and ignore.

 

He will then say something or do something and say “I was just kidding, can’t you take a joke?” But this “joke” will hurt…jokes arent suppose to hurt but then the sweet twin comes back, he tells you “babe I love you, I would never hurt you would I?” And you think no…he wouldn’t do that, would he? See there is still that ounce of doubt…that warning flag but Mr.Sweet Twin smmozes you back once more.

 

This viscous cycle will continue, little by little… he will get you to question yourself, make you doubt your own instincts, even start apologizing for things that weren’t even your fault.

Then will buy you flowers, gifts and trips and you will think…nah…not him, he’s a good one.

 

Beware he is the master manipulator, he has practiced his craft over and over until it is smooth as silk..until he so good, he’s selling you the Brooklyn Bridge and your saying what a deal!

 

What you don’t see is the insecure man, the man that is so worried about what the world sees and says, that he will do anything to keep up that facade.

 

What you don’t see is the pain, he can’t and won’t deal with from his past, the mistakes he made that he will shift the blame to others, you dont see a man that has no personality or interests of his own.

 

He may look like he’s all put together on the outside, he has a successful business, everyone loves him and thinks he a “great man”, he has it all together….yet he is really broken, he is a lost little boy looking for someone to bully and your it!

 

Yes, he will change to fit your needs until he has you, until your all in and then and only then he will start telling you how no man will ever treat you this way, look how good I am to you, no other man has stepped up but I am.

 

He will tell you you have a “strong personality” And other men don’t like that but he does.

He will put these ideas in your head, that you need him, that you can’t make it without him…and you will eventually start to believe it.

 

Now the warning signs are screaming in your head but you love him, you might have a family with him, your doubting your ability to even care for your self, or if there is anyone else out there for you.

 

Yes, this chameleon has got you, you are his and he knows it until you decide game over! Until enough is enough and you start listening to that inner voice that has been saying “Run Forrest run!” Since the beginning but you’ve tuned it out until now…

 

Your today is now…this minute, this second do not let it go on one more second, take back your life, your self worth, your heart and your soul.

It’s never to late to be truly happy, your never too old to start over, life is too short, why be miserable?

 

So today my friends, my advice to you is run like Forrest, listen to the warning signs, hell call his ex’s if you have to, confirm all that your feeling and then take back your life…your life, see you had one all along…

 

Believe me it will be the best decision you can ever make…

And keep your eyes open for the chameleons, they are everywhere…

 

“Be the change you want to see”

 

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

 

***Now available***

My book “The blessing in Disguise”

Selling on my website:

 

Home

 

And on Amazon.com

 

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_13?qid=1462358109&sr=1-13&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=the+blessing+in+Disguise

 

http://www.am6azon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_12?qid=1434452632&sr=8-12&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&keywords=the+Blessing+in+Disguise

 

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Time changes things…

Thursday Treadmill Treats

 

Time changes things

 

I love Facebbok, there is this feature that shows you what you posted a year ago, two years ago, five years ago and sometimes we forget where we were at that moment.

 

As I looked I realized that what a common thread I had with this month…Funny how things happen.

 

Last year at this time I reconnected with an old friend I had dated in the past. We were just starting on this journey, I had so much hope, I was happy to find someone I thought was different, who understood me, who said all the right things….

 

Two years ago today, I was with someone I had loved all my life. I thought this time we would make this work, we knew what was out there, we went through so much to be back together that we would fight to keep this love alive. I was wrong…he couldn’t leave his life he knew then…and he still wasn’t willing to now. I was devastated and heartbroken but at least I knew for sure it was finished for good.

 

Three years ago today my world fell apart yet again, I was dating a man who I thought loved me and wanted to spend his life with me. I was just coming out of a horrible marriage and was longing to hear those words I had so very much missed for the last 24 years. I was vulnerable and believe everything he was feeding me even when my intuition was screaming something wasn’t right, I continued because my life was so barren from emotion.

 

I bought into it hook, line and sinker and the day I found out he was nothing more than a sociopathic liar and cheater, I kicked him to the curb, literally with no second chances.

 

Now here it is a year late on this month, on this day, that I called it off with someone I was seeing from last year.

I knew this wasn’t for me as I had already went down this path once before and and strong enough to realize that I wasn’t going to repeat the same mistake. I saw all the signs and yet again I didn’t listen, but this time I wasn’t going to waste years thinking and praying it would change, no I am out of there.

I cannot change anyone, it’s not my job to fix anyone, I want someone who took the time and effort to fix themselves.

 

See so yet again my world has changed 360, but I know it will be alright. I  have my God who gets me through anything, I have an incredible family and wonderful friends, I have a business I love, a home I never imagined getting, I finished my book and am on to my next one it.

I am happy and peaceful and I found a new me, one that is more confident, who can hear and listen to my intuition, who can pray and know God’s voice.

 

I am truly grateful for the pain I’ve been through because I would have never found myself and these lessons without it.

 

So today my friends, no matter how dark it might be don’t give up hope, hold on, look for the lessons that the pain is teaching you and know that when you look back a year later, two years later, five years later… what a difference it can make.

 

“Be the change you want to see”

 

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

 

***Now available***

My book “The blessing in Disguise”

Selling on my website:

 

Home

 

And on Amazon.com

 

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_13?qid=1462358109&sr=1-13&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=the+blessing+in+Disguise

 

http://www.am6azon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_12?qid=1434452632&sr=8-12&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&keywords=the+Blessing+in+Disguise

 

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Why I talk about my past

Hump day Treadmill Treats

 

Why I talk about my past..

 

Ever jump out of bed because you love what you do?

That’s how I feel about writing this blog and today I couldn’t wait to be on this treadmill to write.

 

Yesterday a reader wrote me and asked me why I talked so much about my past life and my ex and I have this to say:

 

Dear reader,

The reason I talk so much about my past life and my ex is that I am the voice so many women do not have.

I am the champion of this cause.

I will keep shining the light on a subject no one wants to talk about.

I will write and give hope to women who are still struggling to leave and until my last breathe I will talk about this, that no one should have to live and be treated like this, ever.

 

You have no idea of how many women reach out to me and tell me that because of my writing they got the strength to leave, that they saw my journey and it gave them hope.

How they used my strength, my unstoppable faith to stand tall, to believe in themselves again, to gain the courage to finally leave.

 

Funny enough, last night I was speaking to an ex’s ex

(Yes, I am that women who is friends with her ex’s exs because let’s be real, they had good taste in women so why shouldn’t we be friends?)

 

She told of the hope I use to give her when she read my blogs, how she could relate to my pain, how she was in the same place and prayed that one day she would be free like I was.

 

Who knew this would come full circle with me dating her ex and then me realizing that I was going back into the Lions den yet again until I decided that this voice inside of me was screaming too loud for me to ignore anymore.

 

Hello!! Did I not know the signs? Did it not take me 24 years to get out of the last one? Was the last boyfriend a con artist? And yet here I was again.

 

See I am human, I still have things to work through especially when it comes to men and the ones I pick, but I speak of all of this in my blogs to show other women we all do dumb things like this and it’s a process, it’s a lesson that some of us take longer to get than others and it’s okay.

 

As we were talking, we realized that we both knew the journey, we were glad to be able to have each other to validate our feelings, that we weren’t “crazy” that these was his issues and not ours, that the signs were there from the beginning and yet we both chose to ignore them.

 

That sometimes the whole world sees a different picture, this “Great man” that is far from great behind closed doors and your the “crazy one”

Why would you ever leave such a good man?

Your labeled unstable or uncommittable when you dam well know he will never own his own issues.

 

She never spoke to me, she never spoke a bad word about this man as she thought maybe he had changed his ways, maybe I was the one to make him want to change.

 

As we talked deep into the night, we’ve come to realize you have to own your stuff in order to change, you have to admit to your faults and dear reader if you read my blog regularly, you will know I put it out there, all my faults, all of my issues…I am not blindly telling readers do as I say not as I do…

 

I’ve had counseling, my kids had counseling, I am far from perfect as I tell you all this all the time. I own what I do, I own that I screw up, I raise my hand when I do something stupid.

 

Hello!! Keep picking losers than write about it for the whole world to see, then get back to me!

 

I do this so others will see the real me, the same real them they see when they look into the mirror. I am just like them except I am blessed to have this platform to speak from, to tell my story, to make them think, to cry, to have hope, to see they are not alone…

 

So dear reader this is why I write about my past and my ex not that I can’t let go, not that I can’t forgive (Read back I’ve even forgave my rapist, my ex was alot easier to forgive)

Not that I am uncommittable, or I am crazy…no sweetie I write because I am the voice they no longer have…I hope that I can just give one person hope, that one person can say if she did it, I can do it.

 

I am real and I am raw and that is what the world needs more of, so if my writing about my past bothers you maybe you need to ask yourself why?

 

Maybe you need to a read another blog, a more flowery one, maybe this blog isn’t for you and you know what it’s all good.

I am not for everyone and this is why I love America because you can change the channel, you can pick and chose…you have a choice but for the readers out there struggling, know I will never stop, I will forever be your voice, I will keep being here telling you how amazing your life can be if you believe, if you chose the life you want…

 

This my friend, is what motivates me every day to write about my past…

 

“Be the change you want to see”

 

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

 

***Now available***

My book “The blessing in Disguise”

Selling on my website:

 

Home

 

And on Amazon.com

 

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_13?qid=1462358109&sr=1-13&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=the+blessing+in+Disguise

 

http://www.am6azon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_12?qid=1434452632&sr=8-12&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&keywords=the+Blessing+in+Disguise

 

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