I just dont get dating today

Tgif Treadmill Treats

 

I just don’t get dating today

 

In this last episode of this week’s series about dating, I have to say I just don’t get dating today.

 

Look in the old days, you like someone, they asked you out, you go out, they call you, they are polite, they are a gentlemen…you start dating.

 

Now a days…it’s all texting, never meeting, drive by coffee dates, never text or call you back even if you seem to click…it’s horrible to say the least.

 

Today in the dating world we have catfish, we have serial daters, you got men who go ghost on you, the we are only going to text but never meet you man and lots of I just want to hook up guys.

 

There are the guys that look nothing like their pictures, or their pictures are 30 years old or 30 pounds ago, guys that are freaks, guys that have an obsession of sending pics of their dicks and of course the trolls…. slim pickings for sure out there…

 

If you actually get to meet, you then find out that they are freaks, have commitment issues, have lots of baggage and or baby mama drama. Maybe they are narcissistic, controlling, jealous or passive-aggressive or have some other kinds of issues….it is definitely rough out here.

 

But what are you doing to do? Sit at home? Have a pity party?

Oh hell no,  I will continue to go out there and date, I am determined to have the time of my life. Will I kiss more frogs? Oh absolutely…. probably plenty at this rate….but I refuse to say all men are dogs or I’ll never find the one.

 

Nothing in this life comes easy, you can’t lose weight over night, become successful overnight or achieve your dreams just like that ….so what makes us think we can find a mate just like that.

 

Is it frustrating? Oh hell ya! But so is dieting and exercising all week to step up on the scale and realize you lost nothing!

 

Eventually it will happen, there are some great men out there. How do I know? Because I have plenty of wonderful male friends in my life, my best friends are guys, I had 2 wonderful father’s and a man who was like a father to me and I was blessed with a wonderful father in law…I know good men and I know they are out there.

 

It’s just up to us to keep digging through the shit to find our diamond. It’s up to us to not settle because we are lonely or feel we need a man to complete us. It’s up to us to stand up and set boundaries, to realize our self worth and say no…not happening, keep it moving mister.

 

We need to know what we will put up with and what is a deal breaker. We need to own our past shit, deal with it and make ourselves whole before we go out there and mess someone else up.

 

But most of all we need to let go, have fun, enjoy and be in the moment even if the moment sucks right now.

 

This will be a time you look back on, a time you will laugh about, this is your learning time about yourself and about others and one day when your laying in the arms of your soul mate, with a love that fills you, that you couldn’t imagine, you will look back and think how did I ever survive that…and look how far I’ve come.

 

So today my friends, I know you are saying I just don’t get dating today but hold on because as I say all the time if you believe nothing is impossible.

 

“Be the change you want to see”

 

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

 

***Now available***

My book “The blessing in Disguise”

Selling on my website:

 

Home

 

And on Amazon.com

 

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_13?qid=1462358109&sr=1-13&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=the+blessing+in+Disguise

 

http://www.am6azon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_12?qid=1434452632&sr=8-12&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&keywords=the+Blessing+in+Disguise

 

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Lost in transition…texting today

Thursday Treadmill Treats

 

Lost in translation….texting today

 

In this week’s series about dating, I have to talk about texting, as it is the number one form of communication in today’s dating world.

 

Texting is this generations communication and don’t get me wrong it’s great for things like your kids telling you to bring home milk, or to tell you they got there or got home okay. It’s great to tell someone your running late or can’t talk right now but as solely a means for communication, some things get lost in translation.

 

Back in the stone ages, we had phones attached to the wall, you waited for hours for someone to call and God forbid you had to go to the bathroom and then the phone finally decides to ring.

There you are, running out with your pants around your ankles trying not to fall on your face to grab the phone before it stops ringing and then trying to act like your not out of breath so that you don’t seem desperate or like you were waiting on their call!….Oh, so many of you are laughing right now at that memory!

 

We had long conversations on the phone, we heard disappointment, sadness and happiness in someone’s voice. If you said something stupid you could correct yourself fast and explain what you really meant.God, it was so much easier back then.

 

Now with texting, you can’t tell if someone is joking, mad or aggravated and if someone doesn’t use punctuation.. oh forget it! Your lost!

 

I was having a conversation with a guy I met online recently I was in a rush, off to clients but wanted to at least answer him back and it came off like I was pissed and he said so.

I tried to explain the situation but that took another 10 minutes…yuggg!

 

And what’s with you text someone and they don’t text you back for hours or days?? This pisses me off to no extent.

 

Look fool, I know you have that phone attached to your hand 24/7. You even pee with it in your hand and yet here I am waiting for hours or days for a response? Wtf?

 

No one knows anything about real conversation anymore gone are the days you meet someone and you spend hours on the phone with them and you fell sleep with the phone in your hand…again your laughing, well you are if your in my generation!

 

No today it goes:

 

“Hi”

“Hey”

“How are you?”

………………….5 hours later

“Good you”

“Great what are doing this weekend?”

………………….. three days later

“Nothing”

“Well that’s good since the dam weekend is already past!”

Delete….

 

Uggggg…..is this just me? Or does texting make us stupider?

What the hell is going on with today’s society?

Sorry I am a writer and I can not get my point across in three words or less…impossible! This is not name that tune (Again dinosaur reference)

 

This was not invented to have full out conversations, yet we are trying to do that with it.

 

And then there is the worst of all, people breaking up with people via text. You got to be kidding? You have no balls at all, you are the scum of the earth in my book. Grow a pair, stand up and be a man, face her, it’s the least you can do as your about to hurt another human being.

 

My last relationship I had to do via the phone and it killed me.

I wanted to be face to face, but I lived 1500 miles away and it couldn’t wait a second longer.

Okay… but I sure the hell didn’t do it using a text and I was 1500 miles and couldn’t run over there to do it in person.

 

Dating in the second half of our life’s is tough. We are new to this, all of this technology, online dating, relationships via texting, flaky unconnected people…this was not like it was in the stone ages…but we must adapt and grow otherwise we will be left behind and alone.

 

So today my friends, remember this is a whole new game, texting has become a part of our everyday lives, but we must be respectful of others, we must think about how our words are coming across, we must for the love of God… use punctuation!

 

This one thing can mean a world of difference…

Let’s eat grandma

Vs

Let’s eat, grandma

Have a laugh on me today!

 

“Be the change you want to see”

 

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

 

***Now available***

My book “The blessing in Disguise”

Selling on my website:

 

Home

 

And on Amazon.com

 

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_13?qid=1462358109&sr=1-13&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=the+blessing+in+Disguise

 

http://www.am6azon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_12?qid=1434452632&sr=8-12&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&keywords=the+Blessing+in+Disguise

 

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The positives and negatives of dating today

Hump day Treadmill Treats

 

The positives and negatives of dating today

 

In today’s series of dating I will give you my two cents on the positives and negatives…again this is my two cents you might have your own.

 

Oh boy now this is a good one…

There are many lessons I’ve learned since jumping back into the dating world 4 years ago. So many things have changed in the 24 years I was married, it was really a new world out there.

 

Gone were the days of meeting someone at a party, or through a friend, gone were the days of clubs, at least for me. Gone were a date for dinner at a nice restaurant, no all of that was gone…and I never even got the memo!

 

In its place was the Internet where you can turn from a 5’3 troll into a 6’4 God with a six pack… poof in a instant!

 

Gone was the dinner dates replace by drive by coffee dates, yes all of this changed and definitely not for the better in my opinion, so I will give you the top positive and negative things to dating today

 

Top positives of dating:

 

1. You have alot more to chose from, you can keep swipping all night and it’s never ending.

 

2. You can talk before you go out, see if he’s really for you.

 

3. You can go on a drive by coffee date and see if you really want to waste 3 hours of your time with Mr.Wrong.

 

4.You can see what you really have in common before committing to a date.

 

5. Shit…I have to come up with more? This is harder than coming up with a new blog every day!

 

Let’s more on…

The negatives:

 

1. It’s the Internet, you can be whoever you want, all you have to do is steal someone else pictures and poof your them!

 

2. You can show your best pictures, pictures from years ago, 30 pounds ago, apps that take away your wrinkles, yes… you can make yourself look better…alot better

 

3. You can all of a sudden grow a big set of balls and ask things to women you would never have the balls to say in person.

 

4. You can string someone along with texts and phone calls and then never committ to actually meeting.

 

5. You can show your junk to multiple women at once…Oh yes…Men do this all the time..

 

I will tell you this, if you send me a picture of your junk, it better be some extraordinary junk because if it’s not I will show it to all my friends and we will be laughing and talking about your stupid ass!!

 

6. How much time do I have on this treadmill? I could be going for a gym record here…. you get my point…

 

Yes, to say online dating is bad is an understatement at the least…I remember my last one saying “Aren’t you glad your not in that anymore, aren’t you glad you have me now?”

 

Okay, I would rather be back here than with a passive aggressive and controlling man yet again…this my friends is a piece of cake!

Delete…delete…delete….

 

And besides what would I write about? What would I laugh about with my friends and family on my morning rides?

 

It’s all good, I will keep kissing the frogs because I know there is my Prince out there somewhere looking for his princess…he just lost….he doesn’t want to ask for directions….but he’s coming….

 

So today my friends, don’t take it so seriously, enjoy the life you have now, enjoy your kids, your friends, yourself…

Enjoy the quite times, reflect on what you are willing to put up with and what is a deal breaker, then look at the last few relationships and think long and hard about if being with someone is worth putting up with all that crap?

You’ll be much better, I promise you…

And until Prince Charming comes laugh, laugh at the craziness, laugh at the way the world is now, laugh at yourself….life is too short…enjoy every moment because soon this too shall pass….

 

“Be the change you want to see”

 

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

 

***Now available***

My book “The blessing in Disguise”

Selling on my website:

 

Home

 

And on Amazon.com

 

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_13?qid=1462358109&sr=1-13&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=the+blessing+in+Disguise

 

http://www.am6azon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_12?qid=1434452632&sr=8-12&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&keywords=the+Blessing+in+Disguise

 

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Tips for the online dater

Tuesday Treadmill Treats

 

Tips for the online dater

 

This week I will be doing a series about dating….

And and all of the good and bad that goes along with it! Hold on to your pants, this will be a trip!

 

Since being single I have tried online dating and let me tell you it is a trip!

 

Last week someone wanted to meet me, he wanted me to come to his place (Hello, are you nuts?) And when I said no, he didn’t want to put anymore effort into it than standing on his patio and waving to me? Because he was “famous” Wtf?

 

Then when I obviously didn’t show up he had the nerve to call me an idiot. Hello? I’m the idiot?

 

I had another guy on the first email tell me how beautiful I was and oh btw my junk is 13 inches…. again Wtf?

My reply… but your brain is pea sized because obviously you can’t read, I am not looking to hook up. Really???

 

but no matter what, to find your prince, you first must kiss a lot of frogs…so to speak and believe me I have.

 

In today’s world online dating is truly a scary thing to do after not dating for 24 years.

 

But I continue to do it as I am not going to find Mr Perfect for me knocking at my door. (Well my neighbor is cute and single…) okay generally not knocking on my door.

 

So I have some tips for all of the guys out there that are also new to this dating scene, very important tips from a women’s point of view.

 

1. Put up a picture

In my experience guys without pictures in this day and age are married period!

 

2. Put up more than one picture and a full body picture

Yes, you can look really good in one picture, the right angle, the right light but in others you look like a completely different person. Body shots, sorry everyone has a type I like in shape guys, you don’t have to be Mr. Universe but you have to be able to see your toes. I am active, I want a active guy.

 

3. I don’t need to see pictures of what you looked liked 30 years ago, yes, you were a football star in high school, your not anymore, we all looked better then, let it go.

 

4. I don’t want to see pictures of your animals, if you happen to have a great picture of yourself holding your dog, fine but ten pictures of your dog, not so much, I am not dating your dog.

 

5. I am not interested in what you have.

No need to put up pictures of your motorcycle, boat, big house or fancy car, not impressed been there done that, money definitely does not make a man. (And then you have the nerve to call us gold diggers!)

 

6. Don’t lie about what you like and don’t like.

We eventually will meet and talk and you can’t keep up lies and why would you want to? Be you..

 

7. Catfishing…what is with that? Why pretend to be someone your not, for what reason? Get a life and stop messing with others.

 

8. Don’t say you want a relationship when all through your profile your talking about clubbing and sex, be real if your just looking to hook up, say it!

 

9. Be specific in what you want, do you want kids, what’s your deal breakers, smoking ect.. skinny, chunky, tall, short, so we know what your looking for and not waste time.

 

10. Say something about yourself, likes, hobbies, what your looking for. Men with a blank profile to me are blank men, boring…I know it’s not easy talking about yourself, ask a friend to help you, while your at it ask them to take pictures of you too!

 

Maybe my men readers will give me some tips on how we women can make our profiles better. I am always open to change…

 

On a good note I did have a date last week…he looked like his pictures, he was a gentleman, he was funny and sweet and we’ll see where it will go….I will let you know…

 

So today my friends, it’s a new world out there, we must adapt to changing times and to do so we must change as well.

 

“Be the change you want to see”

 

***Now available***

My book The blessing in Disguise

Selling on my website:

 

Http://Www.treadmilltreats.com

 

And on Amazon.com

 

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_12?qid=1434452632&sr=8-12&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&keywords=the+Blessing+in+Disguise

 

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Praying for a man he has for me

Treadmill Treats Monday Message

 

Praying for a man he has for me..

 

I have been divorced for 4 years, I was separated for 2 before that. I didn’t date all through the separation as I needed to work on me and I needed to forgive him for his part.

 

I needed this space to find me again and believe me, it was amazing. When I got divorced I wanted to feel like a women again, I wanted to feel attractive, I wanted to know I still had it.

 

Prideful? Yes, but after 24 years of put downs, of telling you time and time again, that you are worthless, that no one would ever want you besides him, you yearn to hear something from someone. That your pretty, that you are a  strong, intelligent, capable women.

 

I dated alittle, I met a man who was alot younger, who was great but who wanted more than I could give, as I’ve been there, done that.

When I reconnected with an old ex I fell hook, line and sinker. He told me all I wanted to hear he wined and dined me, he made me feel like a princess and then he turned out to be the world’s biggest con artist.

 

I decided I was not dating anyone, not dinner, not drinks not anything for a year. I worked on my book, spent all my time with my girls, prayed to learn to forgive yet again.

 

Yet in all this time I never asked, I never prayed about a man, not once in all of my tithes, twice a week did I ever speak of a man.

I prayed about my girls, my book, my blog, my business, about a home, about my friends, about forgiveness but never once about a man.

 

I was hurt, I have been hurt so many times in my life by men.

I was doing me and I was good with that fact.

When I met my next one he also was an ex I dated in high school ( Note to self…no more dating ex’s!!)

I thought he was sweet and kind but I was cautious, I was not throwing it all in the ring like the last one. And then there were the warning flags yet again, these flags that I chose to ignore in all the men I date.

 

It turns out he was another version of my ex husband, narcissistic, passive aggressive and controlling. I was out of there, I am stupid but not that stupid that I needed a repeat performance.

 

So at this point, I would like to find a man to share my life with. My girls are grown now, will be starting their own lives soon.

I have an amazing life and would like to share it with someone but not just anyone, it has to be who God has chosen for me.

 

So recently I started to ask,

I’ve been putting it on my prayer request, I put it on my vision board, I am praying on it and just like always, my God has jokes.

 

He is bringing me jokers, horrible dates, men with issues, boys who play games. Oh yeah, fun times for me but I know now that I put this in his hands, now that I gave it to him, he will take care of it. Just like he’s taken care of everything else in my life.

 

I will keep praying, I will keep asking, I will keep dating, (Hello! I need material for my blog) but I will no longer worry, he has this, he has me. He is the all mighty God, the God of impossible and the God of miracles (and after all the losers I’ve dated I need one!)

 

I put it out there and I will believe… so today my friends remember that sometimes we have to go through storms to appreciate the sun. You have to kiss alot of frogs to get your Prince. You have to pray, to put it out there, to believe even when it seems impossible…

Keep praying for the person he has for you…

 

“Be the change you want to see”

 

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

 

***Now available***

My book “The blessing in Disguise”

Selling on my website:

 

Home

 

And on Amazon.com

 

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_13?qid=1462358109&sr=1-13&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=the+blessing+in+Disguise

 

http://www.am6azon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_12?qid=1434452632&sr=8-12&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&keywords=the+Blessing+in+Disguise

 

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Why are you still single?

Tgif Treadmill Treats

 

Why are you still single?

 

The other day someone asked me this question like being single was a bad thing.

Like if your not a couple there must be something wrong with you.

 

I had to laugh, I look around at alot of my friends who are in “relationships” And thy are misrable, they cry all the time, they get treated like crap, they get no respect, they are definitely not happy but what? Their in relationships so it’s all

good?

 

Please! Give me a break, I am not desperate, I am not going to put up with all of that just to say I have a man. I don’t need a man. Would I like to have a relationship? Yes, but I don’t need one so bad that I am willing to take any one, even a crappie one.

 

No, honey I’ve been there, done that… I am okay with myself.

I actually like myself and my own company I don’t need a man to “complete” me, I am already complete, thank you very much.

 

Now don’t take this as I am a man hater or a bitch. I am neither but I refuse to settle just to say I have someone, I refuse to be unhappy even one day, life is way to short.

 

Do I know a relationship is hard work?

You say, it’s not always hearts and roses. Please I am a New Yorker, I don’t wear rose

colored glasses, I get that but I will not put up with a lying, cheating, disrespectful man like so many of my friends do just because I am afraid of being alone.

 

I am willing to work hard at a relationship, I am willing to give 100 %, put my heart and soul into one but that will only happen if the other person is willing to do the same. I am not going to put all of me and get just the crappie part of him just to “have a man”

 

I am only asking for what I am willing to give….loyalty, respect, honesty, caring, tenderness, a willingness to give it your all.

 

Look that’s like saying your going to your job every day, you work your ass off every day, work long hours, put your all into it and at the end of the week you get no paycheck. What? Really? No, you’d be gone right? Oh hell, you would be gone in a heart beat.

 

Yet you do the same in a relationship year after year and you still stay, why? Your putting in your all and getting no paycheck week after week yet your still there because a man, is better than no man mentality?

 

I refuse to buy into that and for that reason, I am single and will stay single until I meet a man that is willing to work as hard as I am at it.

 

So today my friends, remember you don’t need a man, or women for that matter. It may be nice to want one but you have all you need in inside of yourself and if you feel you don’t, maybe you need to take sometime off from dating and find it. Find that you can be happy by yourself, that you are complete just the way you. Maybe then you will be okay with being single.

 

“Be the change you want to see”

 

” And just when the caterpillar thought his life was over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

 

***Now available***

My new book The blessing in Disguise

Selling on tmy website:

 

Www.treadmilltreats.com

 

And on Amazon.com

 

http://www.am6azon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_12?qid=1434452632&sr=8-12&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&keywords=the+Blessing+in+Disguise

 

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Why I do what I do…

Thursday Treadmill Treats

 

Why I do what I do…

 

I write this blog every day, 5 days a week for the last 4 years seriously. That’s almost 1000 blogs! You have to love what you do to do that!

 

I wrote 2 years before that but not seriously, I putter around with it, it was short and I couldn’t say what I really wanted to because I was married and didn’t have that freedom. I also couldn’t preach about something I wasn’t out of, so I waited until I was truly free to express myself.

 

As long as I can remember I wrote… poems, letters, songs and especially in my diary. It was an outlet for me, to express my feelings I couldn’t speak, instead I wrote.

 

When I was finally free I wrote about my fears of leaving my “big” life, my fears of being a single mom, I wrote about all of my fears as I promised myself I would never stay silent again. I would never lie about anything in my life again.

 

I write about my failures, my lousy picker with men (Now there’s alot to write about!) my issues with my kids, the world, my feelings…I write about life…that’s why so many people can relate, I am brutally honest and raw, I am not sugar coating anything.

 

Talk all you want about me…but I know this is my purpose and there are people out there that are getting something out of my writing. Someone, somewhere that is reading this and saying if she overcame this or if she hit the bottom and came back, I can do it too.

 

I do this to inspire others to never give up, I do this because it is me, a part of my soul, I do this because it is my purpose.

 

I jump out of bed some mornings and run to the gym because I need to write, it’s this feeling that you must do this…

If your not passionate about something you can’t understand it.

 

They say you know what your passion is if you would do it even without getting paid…Hello! That’s definitely me!

 

I do it because when I hit rock bottom I wished I could have found someone else who was going through what I was. I wished I had a role model to be honest and tell me about the road ahead.

 

I was scared and needed that reinsurance that I would be okay, not to blow smoke up my ass but to be truthful and tell me even with hardships, even when your big lifestyle changes, even when things come against you, the peace and joy you will find because you are truly your own person, that you now know your self worth, is amazing and worth all the sacrifices to get there.

 

So today my friends, yes, I will keep putting it out there…all of my failures, my successes.

I will write about my fears, my peace and joy, my good times and the times I will cry and ask God why, because this is real life, this is everyone’s life…

I am just not afraid to put it out there for the world to see…

Here I am… human…I make mistakes, I own them…I love, I laugh, I cry…I am real…

 

Get real people…it is only then you will find your true self, it is only then you can make the changes to live a life worth living… I do this because I must…I must give and I must grow…

This is my purpose, what is yours?

 

“Be the change you want to see”

 

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

 

***Now available***

My book “The blessing in Disguise”

Selling on my website:

 

Home

 

And on Amazon.com

 

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_13?qid=1462358109&sr=1-13&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=the+blessing+in+Disguise

 

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Stand up and be a dad

Hump day Treadmill Treats

 

Stand up and be a dad

 

There are sometimes I am at a loss for words…and for me that is a miracle but this is definitely one of them.

 

See I was married for 24 years, I always thought we would put our children first, that no matter what happened, they would always be first priority.

 

When I finally had the courage to leave this verbally abusive marriage, I still thought this.

I swore I would never talk bad about their dad (believe me, its harder then I thought )

For the most part I have tried to do this, hello! I am human and I do slip every now and then.

 

I even tried to tell my girls what a great dad he was to them, as I want my girls to have a good relationship with their father, they need a dad in their lives.

 

I remember my oldest said “What makes him a good dad because he pays for things? Because he shows up for things?”

I said “Yes, definitely”

She said “No, it doesn’t.. he calls us names, puts us down, uses his money to control us, makes us feel like shit all the time, just because he pays and shows up doesn’t make him a great dad”

 

I was shocked but she was right…lately I’ve been shaking my head at the things he’s been doing like refusing to pay for prom or graduation or even college stuff. All because our little one moved in with me full time. He no longer has control of her, he no longer has anyone to abusive, this is now his new control.

 

I pray every day for enough money that they will never have to ask him for anything, that I can do everything for them but I also pray for him, that God may change his heart because one day he will wake up and be an old man and realize he pushed his girls away, that he ruined any hopes of a relationship with them and that will be sad not just for him but for them as well.

 

He’s still mad at me, he hates me and says so at every turn. He tells my little one when she turns 18 he will never talk to me again….really?? How very grown up of you, these are our kids like it or not, we will forever have a bond…

 

Move on, don’t try to hurt me by withholding things for them. Yes, she will get a prom dress, she will have graduation, she will have money for college.. see I will work even harder to make sure of it and yes, your hurting me, by making me struggle to do what you should be doing.

 

You know you make 4 times what I do but believe me, your really hurting them in the long run…your showing them love comes with strings, that if you do what I say, I will love you and I’ll take care of you….sorry it doesn’t work like that.

 

You cant fathom the fact that I am past all your pettiness, that I forgave you a long time ago.

I wish you peace and joy, I pray your heart softens and that it’s not too late for you and your girls…let it go already, I’ve moved on, you moved on…let go of all that hate and anger. We will always be connected by these two amazing young women, let’s try to do right by them.

 

Let’s try to make their graduation, proms, marriages, children, holiday’s and their life events be filled with peace, don’t make them pick sides, don’t make them uncomfortable because of your issues, please for the love of God…let it go already!

 

Be the dad they need, the kind of dad they can look up to, admire, be the kind of man they will search out as a mate one day. Be kind, forgiving, show them change is possible, show them how much you love them by being the best dad they need now and forever.

 

So today my friends remember these words….send it to the Dads out there who think they are hurting you by withholding from their children.

 

Let them know you will go to the ends of the earth for your children, you will get it done, you will provide with no strings attached but in the long run, it’s the pain we see in our children’s eyes that we cannot fix, it’s the hurt you cause them, we cannot erase… it is that that causes us the most pain…because no matter what we do, we can’t fix it… we can’t fix them wanting you to do the right thing, to love them unconditionally.

Please stand up and be the dad they need before it’s too late.

 

“Be the change you want to see”

 

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

 

***Now available***

My book “The blessing in Disguise”

Selling on my website:

 

Home

 

And on Amazon.com

 

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_13?qid=1462358109&sr=1-13&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=the+blessing+in+Disguise

 

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What Easter is really about

Treadmill Treats Monday Message

 

What Easter really means

 

I know that alot of the holidays seem to have two meanings, take Christmas, it’s all about the birth of Christ but somehow Santa got thrown in and now it seems to be more about him than the son of God.

 

Easter also got thrown over for the Easter bunny, who came up with this? Easter is about our saviors death and resurrection.

 

These are two of our holiness days and somehow, someone, somewhere decided… nope that’s too serious for us, we can’t let you have these holy days, so let’s invent some nonsense to cast a shadow over these days.

And we buy into all of this hype that casts a shadow over the real meaning.

 

It seems that many of us only go to church on these days, which to me, some is better than none, maybe the spirit will touch your heart, maybe this is your turning point back to God.

 

We all need a starting place and if these are the only two days you go, at least you are there to honor the son of God and you deserve praise for that.

 

This is what Christmas and Easter is, its a time to honor the son of God, to give thanks to God for bringing us his son, to teach us love and to teach us forgiveness.

 

Think about it for a moment, your child is amazing, he has this gift, he knows no hate, he teaches love and peace, he takes in all kinds of derelicts in his circle. Murders, thief’s, liars, whores, the bottom of the barrel kinds of people, yet he loves them because he knows their souls.

Your child goes around the world, he preaches the word of God, but some people are afraid of him, of his truth. His own friend betrays him, he is arrested and beaten, he is given a death sentence and in front of everyone including you, he is nailed to a cross to die a slow death.

You have the power to save him, you hear his cries, “Why father have you forsaken me?” Yet you do nothing…

 

And at the end close to his death, he asks you to forgive those who did this to him…

You watch and let your only child die, so that the world could be saved, you have the power to end the world, to punish thoese who did this, to save him, yet you let him die.

 

There is not a parent out there who could ever do this…not one of you…yet he did.

God gave his only begotten son so that you may learn love and forgiveness, so he could wash away your sins with his blood.

To teach you that it doesn’t matter what color you are, what you did before, even what you even did to him, if you accept him, he will forgive you…

 

Can you say that? Be real..you can’t accept your sister saying something about you 20 years ago, never mind someone who betrays you and causes your death or your child’s death, that will never happen.

 

Yet he did all of that for us, he changed the world forever by this unselfish gift he gave us.

And even that has to be messed up with the invention of these fake characters to overshadow what is the true gift.

 

So today my friends remember what Easter is really about, it’s not about the Easter bunny, eggs or baskets, it’s about what God has done for us.

It’s about the love he shown us, a love so big that he watched his only begotten son die a slow death so that he could come back and teach us that nothing is impossible, no dream is too big, that love and forgiveness will conquer all and all you have to do is speak his name, all you have to do is say he is your Lord and savior and all your sins are forgiven…imagine that?

 

We all can learn from his life, to live life large, to be grateful,  to forgive, to love unconditionally…pretty simple huh?

Let’s never forget the true meaning of Easter.

 

“Be the change you want to see”

 

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

 

***Now available***

My book “The blessing in Disguise”

Selling on my website:

 

Home

 

And on Amazon.com

 

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_13?qid=1462358109&sr=1-13&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=the+blessing+in+Disguise

 

http://www.am6azon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_12?qid=1434452632&sr=8-12&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&keywords=the+Blessing+in+Disguise

 

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Why cant you be friends with your ex’s ex?

Tgif Treadmill Treats

 

Why can’t you be friends with your ex’s ex?

 

I get alot of slack for this, people cannot understand how I can be friends with my ex’s ex. My black girlfriends even tell me they are taking away my black card as they would never even dream of doing this.

 

I don’t get it, see I lift up other women, I am not jealous or catty. I admire women, their strengths, their tenacity, their achievements. I am happy for my friends when they get a promotion, find the love of their lives or fulfill a dream, there is no envy here ever.

 

What they achieve makes it better for all of us and especially for the next generation, so we should all applaud them.

 

My ex’s ex are kind, intelligent, strong women, believe me they picked great women, they were not just great guys.

 

So why shouldn’t we be friends? They don’t want them anymore and even if they did, why should that automatically make them bitches in your eyes?

You’ve moved on, it didn’t work, whatever the case may be, it doesn’t have anything to do with them.

 

I have been blessed to have an open heart, to see these women for who they truly are, great people and to be able to cultivate a friendship with them.

 

My one ex’s ex comes to holiday dinners, we go to the beach and out for drinks and dancing, we talk about our lives, our kids, our hopes and dreams. I truly admire her, she is a single mom doing it by herself and doing a great job.

 

My recent ex’s ex is a funny, kind, open hearted women who knows the pain I’ve been through in my marriage. We relate on so many levels, we have the same personality, we like to have fun, we enjoy people and are not afraid to laugh at ourselves.

 

So tell me why wouldn’t I be friends with these women? If they weren’t my ex’s ex and I just met them at Starbucks and started up a conversation with them, I would immediately like them and want to be friends with them…so because they are ex’s ex I can’t? Who says? Who’s making up these frigging rules?

 

I dance to the beat of my own drum, I don’t follow rules, I like and am friends with people for who they are in their soul, this is me…like it or not too bad, I am not changing, this is my life and I will live it as I see fit.

 

Maybe people are worried about what we are talking about, like our ex’s? Well as a friend once said to me “If you do the right things, you won’t have to worry about it” ha I couldn’t agree more!

 

So today my friends, remember to dance to the beat of your own drummer. Follow your heart, listen to that inner voice, let go of jealousy, envy and competition…we are all the same….women who are trying to be the best we can be, to raise our children to be good people, trying to leave the world a little better then when we got here.

 

We all need to applaud one another, give encouragement, show love and compassion to each other.

We are all in this together and I for one am changing what the look of being a ex’s ex is…one example at a time.

 

Hats off to all the amazing women out there, I honor you today and every day!

 

“Be the change you want to see”

 

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

 

***Now available***

My book “The blessing in Disguise”

Selling on my website:

 

Home

 

And on Amazon.com

 

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_13?qid=1462358109&sr=1-13&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=the+blessing+in+Disguise

 

http://www.am6azon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_12?qid=1434452632&sr=8-12&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&keywords=the+Blessing+in+Disguise

 

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