I want to stop thinking about you

Stop!

I want it to stop…I need it to stop….I want to stop thinking about you….I want to go to sleep at night without you on my mind….I need to wake up without dreams of you holding me through the night…

 

I need to let this go….yet I don’t know how….

I need to move on yet how can I when I still look at your pictures and my heart aches….

 

When I know that there was this connection that keeps drawing me in….

When my heart keeps overruling my head…

When I know you were so wrong….yet you were so right…

 

I pray for these feelings to go away…yet every night they return….

I need answers….but there are none….

So I replay every conversation in my head for clues….

But again I come back to these feelings….that take over my heart….my head…my soul….

 

I want you to go away…yet I can’t stop looking at your posts for a clue…

Do you think of me like I think of you?

No….my head tells me….if he was he would be with you….

But my heart says there was more….

 

I know that I am no good at this….and this just proves it yet agian….. I want to cut myself off from the world…yet without love life is not worth living….

 

So what am I supposed to do? When sleep eludes me…

When my heart aches….

When this feeling will not go away…..

 

I wish I never met you….yet the thought of you engulfs me….

I think how did this happen?

How did I allow myself to fall?

Yet falling was the most amazing feeling.

 

The left fights the right, my heart fights my head, contraindications are battling each other ……

He said he wanted 50 years together…he never called…

He said he hadn’t felt like this in years…..yet he is gone….

Disappearing like a thief in the night….taking my most precious gift with him….

 

My head says he lied…

My heart makes excuses for him…

I toss and turn yearning to hear his voice, to see his smile, to smell him once again….willing myself not to call…

 

I pray for sleep….I pray not to wake up from the dreams that take over my nights…..

Dreams of us together again….

 

I know this was not meant to be….yet I can’t stop wondering why?

I need to just walk away, close the door and move on with my life…

But I have no idea how….

So yet again I will be thinking of you….

Until one day I will no longer be…

 

 

Sex in the city…today’s version

Tuesday Treadmill Treats

 

Sex in the city…today’s version

 

I have to tell you dating today compared to twenty five years ago is so different, the last few years I have had so many changes it has made my head spin.

 

Illness, deaths, divorce, career changes, and yes dating, all which have been hard and scary but it is always how you look at things, is it a burden or a blessing? It’s up to you to chose how you see it.

 

I always chose to see the good and with dating I chose to see the funny and then share with my friends. All of my friends said try online dating, since we never had this years ago and I am not into the bar scene and have a full and busy life, I thought why not, another change in my life, lets give it a shot.

 

Let’s start with Mr. Italian who asked me if I was Italian (what my name Francesca didn’t give that away?)

Then he asked if I was ever beaten with a spoon? (Was he really Italian? Because if he was, that was a requirement of a Italian mother) I said yes. Then he asked if I ever hit my girls with a wooden spoon (Did you not get the last part? I am now wondering if he was a little slow)

 

Here it comes but because I haven’t dated in 24 years I don’t see it coming. He then asks if I could beat him with the wooden spoon! What?? Did he just write that to me? DELETE!

 

Next thing I learned is always read everything in a profile, take “Mr.Sneak things in his likes on his profile”

He had about 100 likes and I am not joking! I glanced through them and wrote him back, he asks did I read his profile?

I say yes, he says did you catch it? Catch what? I say.

The whip and chains part…. Really?? I can’t make this shit up!

 

No, I didn’t catch that part, after all didn’t you get the previous part about having a life and not having tine to read 100 things someone likes to do, obviously the whips and chains weren’t in bold letters!

 

He goes on to say, he is just looking to have fun, I say then why is your profile saying you want a relationship? Why dont you list that your a freak looking for a one night stand and not waste everyone’s time?

 

He goes on to tell me I am a prude and close minded! Ha!wait, wait…. listen to this… DELETE!!

 

My girlfriend started chatting with this guy when out of the blue he texts her his ass!

Yes, a picture of his ass!

She doesn’t skip a beat and texts back, “Why are you sending me a picture of your ass? Does it look better than your face?”

He writes back lol, really?

Yup, you guessed it DELETE and go ahead guess his new name… Yup, you guessed that too Mr.Assman!

 

We have names and stories for all the guys that we have encountered, which we decided that we are going to write a book about it!

 

We would love to hear your stories as I know in this age of technology there has to be plenty!

 

Look dont be a man hater, dont think there is no good men out there, that they are all freaks, have fun with it, call your girlfriend have a really good laugh in the morning on your way to work like I do!

 

Laughter is the best medicine, at least get something good out of it! Don’t take life so seriously, enjoy, laugh and then write a blog about it! Since I am the Taylor Swift of blogging!! Got to love where I get all my ideas from!

 

Gotta run, Mr.Dallas is texting me!

 

“Be the change you want to see”

 

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

 

***Now available***

My book “The blessing in Disguise”

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