Not selling my soul anymore

Tuesday Treadmill Treats

 

Not selling my soul anymore

 

Yesterday, I should have been on a private luxury catamaran sailing around the British Virgin Islands for nine days.

 

Yes, this would have been a once in a lifetime trip, definitely a check off my bucket list but this trip also came with a price. I am not talking about monetarily, I am talking about a soul price.

 

We all have a soul price, something we will put up with because of the benifits.

It could be a job that you hate but the benifits make you stay.

 

It could be a friendship, because that person knows you better than anyone and you don’t think you can get that from anyone else, so you put up with their negativity and crap.

 

It could be like me, a marriage, or a relationship. You are there because you are living the good life, a nice house, designer clothes, fancy cars, big vacations, lots of toys.

 

It is all the same, you are selling your soul for something. It doesn’t feel good anymore yet your still there, your not happy but you think it could be worst.You think you can’t find better, you make excuses…it’s not so bad…

 

See I did that for way too many years and I swore I would never do it again. So when I got this trip as a gift from someone I was dating, I knew at the time of the gift that this relationship was over. Believe me, it did cross my mind to suck it up and just go…Hello I am human… and it was an unbelievable trip!

 

But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t fake feelings I didn’t have. Pretending to want to be there with this person when I knew good and well he was not the man for me.

Look, I had to fake it for so many years, that I refuse to have to do that on my new lease on life.

 

So I broke up with him and believe me, so many people called me crazy. They said just go, it’s a once in a lifetime trip, suck it up….Yes, I heard it all but I still couldn’t do it.

 

I needed to be able to look myself in the mirror and be okay and this was not okay.

I had already realized he was passive aggressive and controlling, I was not going down the same road I fought so hard and for so many years, to run away from.

 

No, I was going to be honest, I was walking away with dignity, with my self respect. I was done and nothing, not even a bucket list dream vacation was keeping me here.

 

I, like so many other of my friends don’t need to be hit over the head with the same lessons, going from one abusive relationship to another. I learned my lesson, time to move on, cut my losses and be ready for the one God has for me.

 

I am in the second half of my life, I can’t waste time nor do I want to waste time on things that are not good for me, or not going somewhere. I have big plans for this half and pretending, not being me and selling my soul is not on the list.

 

If a luxury catamaran cruise is for me, it will happen…I will not have to sell my soul for it.

 

There have been so many lessons I’ve learned in the 6 years that I walked away from my marriage. There have been many eye opening experiences, life changing, ahh haa moments in this journey but the biggest lesson I’ve learned is to be me, be true to myself.

 

I will no longer compromise who I am, I will no longer settle, I will no longer live making others happy, this is my life,  and I am going to live it my way.

 

So today my friends instead of sending you a postcard from some exotic place, I am on this treadmill writing this. But I can tell you I am happy, I am good with this decision, with my life.

 

I own my dignity, my self respect, I am the captain of my own destiny and I know that nothing is worth the price of my soul.

 

“Be the change you want to see”

 

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

 

***Now available***

My book “The blessing in Disguise”

Selling on my website:

 

Home

 

And on Amazon.com

 

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_13?qid=1462358109&sr=1-13&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=the+blessing+in+Disguise

 

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Mother’s day message

Treadmill Treats Monday Message

 

Mother’s day message

 

Yesterday was Mother’s day and I chose to honor God and my mom by going to her favorite place and I imagine God’s as well…the beach.

 

Some people think you must be in church to honor God.

That’s like saying if you sit in a garage, your a car… See God is everywhere you are, God is in you, God made you, he knows your heart.

 

There are some times I need to be alone with him, I need to talk to him one on one. I need to cry because I am so very grateful for all he has done in my life.

 

I walked for miles, I prayed, I cried for my mother, I gave thanks over and over, for where I am.

I looked back, I remembered the times I had woken up on mother’s day…Loving the fact that I was blessed to be a mom but hating my life, my circumstances, the road I took to get there.

 

I hated that I gave up so much, that I lost my soul for “things” I thought were important but in the long run brought me no happiness at all.

 

I reflected over the lessons God had taught me, the lessons he is still teaching me. I reflected over the small things that I am now grateful for…

 

The joy I have in my life now, the peace I feel in my home, in my soul, the gratitude I feel each and every day for where I am now. I no longer have fear, I no longer need to lie, I no longer need to to worry as I have this unshakeable faith in him.

 

I know my mom will always be with me, I know the lessons she taught me, I will carry on.

 

I know that the strength she showed in the face of conflict, gives me strength to go on.

 

I know the love she always gave to me and everyone around her showed me how to open my heart, how to be compassionate, to be giving.

 

I know that her work ethic, her willingness to learn, to never give up showed me I can do anything. I know all she taught me, I am passing on to my girls, I am teaching them so she will always live on…

 

I know all I’ve been through is for a purpose and even though I might not like what I am feeling right now, I know this will also be for my testimony. This will be so I can tell others never give up, that dreams can come true if you believe!

 

So today my friends remember, it doesn’t matter where you are, where you give thanks, how you praise God as long as you are doing it… God is listening, he hears your cries, he holds your heart in his hands, he has you….

Never forget you are a child of the most high God…he is always there just like my mom is…

I love you mom…

 

“Be the change you want to see”

 

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

 

***Now available***

My book “The blessing in Disguise”

Selling on my website:

 

Home

 

And on Amazon.com

 

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_13?qid=1462358109&sr=1-13&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=the+blessing+in+Disguise

 

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My freedom of speech

Tgif Treadmill Treats

My freedom of speech

My question today, to all of you out here is… aren’t you worried?

If today’s world doesn’t scare you, you are living under a rock.

We should be afraid, be very

afraid because we are thisclose to having our freedom’s taken away from us.

In the last week alone, 2 journalist were arrested for asking questions our “government” didn’t want to answer.

A single mom with a sick child at a town hall meeting asked about health care for her child was thrown out and scared with the government taking her child away from her.

3 activist were recently arrested for protesting Jeff Sessions in a congressional hearing.

Native Americans were arrested and dragged off to jail for protecting the land that we once stole from them but now want back… sacred land no less.

American journalists were banned from a meeting recently with “Cheeto man”

The list goes on and on…Hell I might be arrested for writing this soon….where do we draw the line….when it’s too late?

I will tell you when it’s too late…before you even realize it’s happening…look at the past…look at all of these dictators, they all started small, one arrest here, one there, then people disappearing into the night, before long we are too scared, they are too big and we have no rights left.

People open your eyes, read up on these past dictatorships,  see how they started…all the same…

It’s like being a victim of abuse, it’s not all at once, it’s one step…Okay, you will let me get away with that. Okay, let’s try this, okay, now let’s try this…Oh wait too much, too soon let’s back up, let’s put on that I am a great guy face…Okay, they bought it…okay, let take this away…and before you know it your gave all your power away and you have none left.

Your stuck, your afraid, you can’t speak up or leave.

Yes, these dictators do the same thing…little by little…before you even realize it…your freedom is gone..

These are the dictators that came before…..

Adolf Hitler

Romania’s Nicolae Ceausescu

Kim jung un

Fidel Castro

Mussolini

And there are many many more I can name.

These men were narcissistic, egotistical, money hungry, power seaking men… not unlike “Cheeto man”

This is America, the land of the free…free to speak our minds, free to protest, free to ask and demand answers…

This is what our Constitution is about, this is what we fought wars for, this is America people… for now anyway….

Unless we rise up and demand our first amendment rights, unless we unite, we speak out out, we flood the Internet, our government officials with our voices then the joke will be on the American people. And this is no laughing matter people….

This is your freedom we are talking about…

This is what I do…I get to speak my mind to people all over the globe, people everyday get to have a say, to speak their peace because of this very important thing called freedom of speech…

This is why people use to want to come to America, they would risk their lives to live here, because we were a land of compassion, we had freedom’s, we cared about others and their lack of…

This country is not becoming great…no, this country is becoming a fascist country caring only for the rich, the powerful, the few that look and think like each other.

We should be ashamed of ourselves, we should read up about how easy it is to fall into a dictatorship, we should all go to Ellis Island and read what the world thought about us…what use to make us great…something we have forgotten…

“Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, the wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me, I lift my lamp beside the golden door!”

Today my friends remember your voice still has power, call your government officials today, protest, write, blog, speak out before it’s too late…

As for me I will keep speaking out, until they arrest me, until they take the breath out of me…I will continue to do my 1st ammendment right…freedom of speech!

“Be the change you want to see”

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

***Now available***

My book “The blessing in Disguise”

Selling on my website:

Home

And on Amazon.com

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_13?qid=1462358109&sr=1-13&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=the+blessing+in+Disguise

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The things stupid people in politics say

Thursday Treadmill Treats

 

The things stupid people in politics say

 

Yesterday I read something in the news that made me flip a nut, I could not believe this person, a person “someone” voted into political office could actually say.

 

Rep.Tila Hubrecht called pregnancy that results from rape “A gift from God”

While arguing that abortion should be illegal, even in the case of rape and incest.

 

Now if you know me or read my blog you know I was a victim of rape when I was 15 years old, I was a virgin, a scared little girl who found out that besides having to endure something horrific as a rape now found herself pregnant by such rape.

 

Now tell me Rep.Hubrecht, was this a “Gift from God”

A teenager who had her whole life ahead of her, who didn’t ask to be raped, now pregnant? This is what you call a gift? Are your frigging nuts? Have you lost your frigging mind??

 

What do you know of being raped? Nothing because if you did you would never say something as stupid as this!

 

Do you what it feels like to cross a picket line, when people are spitting on you, calling you a baby killer?

Having a cold hearted doctor  tell me that I shouldn’t cry now, that I should have thought about this before I spread my legs…wait… was he a relative of yours maybe?

 

No, you know none of this nor do you care what a 15 year old would do with a baby when she was just a baby herself.

 

You people that are so against abortions, who call us names, who want abortions to go back into the back alleys, have no solution to these young women. No plan to in place to help these women keep a baby yet your so fast to pass judgement, to stand on your high and mighty soap box condemning the rest of us, yet offering no solution while you all run back into your glass mansions at night.

 

Believe me this was no “Gift from God” this ruined my life, this changed who I was, who I was supposed to be.

 

Yet your brilliant idea is to slap the rapist on the hand and let him off and then leave us stuck with a child we never wanted with no help from anyone.

 

And now with cheeto man’s new “no health care plan” even less help and definitely no psychological help, as this is a “pre existing condition” to deal with any of it.

 

As long as it doesn’t effect you or yours…your good. As long as health care is free for you and your political friends, who cares about the rest of us minions. As long as your going home to your big homes in wonderful school districts, as long as you have minimum wage nannies to watch your children, cooks, drivers and all the good life has to offer who cares how a 15 year old deals with being molested, that runs away from hell, now to have to figure out how to raise this “Gift”

 

Get a frigging grip Bitch!!  Wake the fuck up! This is real life, this is the real world, which obviously you don’t live in.

 

You just can’t throw around words like this, make laws like this, that will effect millions of women and not have a plan to help. Are you and your hollier than thou friends planning on supporting these childre?

 

Are you giving tax cuts, day care, free college, financial help to these women who under yours and the new Hitler’s regime will now even have less help?

No, you people aren’t planning to do anything but look down and wave your self righteous finger at the victims.

 

So today my friends, I beg of you get on the phone, call your Representatives, call your government officials, let them know your outrage, let’s stand up and throw these morons out of office.

 

Yesterday alone…cheeto man fired the FBI chief, who was investigating him, they arrested a member of the press because they didn’t like the questions they asked and they have morons like this running our country…

 

We are not United, we are divided…we are suppose to help our neighbors, love one another, have compassion…this is what we are made to do…

Where is that? Why are you letting it happen?

 

If they want to put me in jail for my freedom of speech…go ahead but I will not go down without a fight, I will scream peace, love and compassion till I am taken home and if you any once of heart, you should be screaming as well.

 

“Be the change you want to see”

 

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

 

***Now available***

My book “The blessing in Disguise”

Selling on my website:

 

Home

 

And on Amazon.com

 

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_13?qid=1462358109&sr=1-13&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=the+blessing+in+Disguise

 

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Can men and women be friends?

Hump day Treadmill Treats

 

Can men and women be friends?

 

This has been a question long asked by both men and women, can the opposite sex be just friends?

 

When you ask this question you will get a lot of different responses. I was shocked by how many, when I was talking about it with a bunch of my friends recently.

 

You had the one side that said no, no way….men and women can’t do it, there is always sex that comes in the way. They said eventually you end up in bed together or its that the guy wants to sleep with you and is just your friend for that reason.

 

Then there was the opposite group saying yes, why not?

I am, of course in this group, as I grew up mostly having male friends and since my divorce have reconnected with many of them.

 

I don’t get it and maybe it’s because I am an only child and always wanted to have brothers. Or maybe it’s the fact that guy friends don’t bring drama in your life and you will definitely never have a cat fight with them.

 

I love my guy friends, they are truly like my brothers, sleep with them? Yuck! Would you sleep with your brother? Sexually attraction? No! I want to hook them up with my girl friends, please…

 

Look a lot of people are very insecure and don’t trust their partners, if that’s you, get over it!

If they are going to cheat, they are going to cheat, whether it’s with their best friend, your best friend, the waitress down the street, with their assistant, if that’s what they want to do, they will do it.

 

My view is you trust your man or women until they give you reason not to, period.

 

See my guy friends have given me a lot in my life, they have given me advice, they taught me things, helped me out of binds, even pretended to be my date to get rid of a creeper.

 

My world was not the same without them. While I was married to the most insecure man on this planet, I gave up all my male friends, I was even stupid enough to cut my very best friend out of my life for him and hell he was gay! Duh no threat there!

 

Today I have my church husband, my neighbor husband, for years I had my work husband, my gay best friend. I have the most amazing guy friends that I can call on, at all hours and they would be there for me, not because they want to sleep with me but because we are truly friends. I never take that for granted, I know I am blessed.

 

So today my friends, I will tell you the one thing I’ve learned, is that life is way to short, have as many friends as possible, they enrich your life, they make things fun, they will have your back, they make each day that much brighter, so don’t limit yourself!! You can never have too many friends!

 

“Be the change you want to see”

 

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

 

***Now available***

My book “The blessing in Disguise”

Selling on my website:

 

Home

 

And on Amazon.com

 

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_13?qid=1462358109&sr=1-13&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=the+blessing+in+Disguise

 

http://www.am6azon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_12?qid=1434452632&sr=8-12&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&keywords=the+Blessing+in+Disguise

 

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I want to stop thinking about you

Stop!

I want it to stop…I need it to stop….I want to stop thinking about you….I want to go to sleep at night without you on my mind….I need to wake up without dreams of you holding me through the night…

 

I need to let this go….yet I don’t know how….

I need to move on yet how can I when I still look at your pictures and my heart aches….

 

When I know that there was this connection that keeps drawing me in….

When my heart keeps overruling my head…

When I know you were so wrong….yet you were so right…

 

I pray for these feelings to go away…yet every night they return….

I need answers….but there are none….

So I replay every conversation in my head for clues….

But again I come back to these feelings….that take over my heart….my head…my soul….

 

I want you to go away…yet I can’t stop looking at your posts for a clue…

Do you think of me like I think of you?

No….my head tells me….if he was he would be with you….

But my heart says there was more….

 

I know that I am no good at this….and this just proves it yet agian….. I want to cut myself off from the world…yet without love life is not worth living….

 

So what am I supposed to do? When sleep eludes me…

When my heart aches….

When this feeling will not go away…..

 

I wish I never met you….yet the thought of you engulfs me….

I think how did this happen?

How did I allow myself to fall?

Yet falling was the most amazing feeling.

 

The left fights the right, my heart fights my head, contraindications are battling each other ……

He said he wanted 50 years together…he never called…

He said he hadn’t felt like this in years…..yet he is gone….

Disappearing like a thief in the night….taking my most precious gift with him….

 

My head says he lied…

My heart makes excuses for him…

I toss and turn yearning to hear his voice, to see his smile, to smell him once again….willing myself not to call…

 

I pray for sleep….I pray not to wake up from the dreams that take over my nights…..

Dreams of us together again….

 

I know this was not meant to be….yet I can’t stop wondering why?

I need to just walk away, close the door and move on with my life…

But I have no idea how….

So yet again I will be thinking of you….

Until one day I will no longer be…

 

 

Sex in the city…today’s version

Tuesday Treadmill Treats

 

Sex in the city…today’s version

 

I have to tell you dating today compared to twenty five years ago is so different, the last few years I have had so many changes it has made my head spin.

 

Illness, deaths, divorce, career changes, and yes dating, all which have been hard and scary but it is always how you look at things, is it a burden or a blessing? It’s up to you to chose how you see it.

 

I always chose to see the good and with dating I chose to see the funny and then share with my friends. All of my friends said try online dating, since we never had this years ago and I am not into the bar scene and have a full and busy life, I thought why not, another change in my life, lets give it a shot.

 

Let’s start with Mr. Italian who asked me if I was Italian (what my name Francesca didn’t give that away?)

Then he asked if I was ever beaten with a spoon? (Was he really Italian? Because if he was, that was a requirement of a Italian mother) I said yes. Then he asked if I ever hit my girls with a wooden spoon (Did you not get the last part? I am now wondering if he was a little slow)

 

Here it comes but because I haven’t dated in 24 years I don’t see it coming. He then asks if I could beat him with the wooden spoon! What?? Did he just write that to me? DELETE!

 

Next thing I learned is always read everything in a profile, take “Mr.Sneak things in his likes on his profile”

He had about 100 likes and I am not joking! I glanced through them and wrote him back, he asks did I read his profile?

I say yes, he says did you catch it? Catch what? I say.

The whip and chains part…. Really?? I can’t make this shit up!

 

No, I didn’t catch that part, after all didn’t you get the previous part about having a life and not having tine to read 100 things someone likes to do, obviously the whips and chains weren’t in bold letters!

 

He goes on to say, he is just looking to have fun, I say then why is your profile saying you want a relationship? Why dont you list that your a freak looking for a one night stand and not waste everyone’s time?

 

He goes on to tell me I am a prude and close minded! Ha!wait, wait…. listen to this… DELETE!!

 

My girlfriend started chatting with this guy when out of the blue he texts her his ass!

Yes, a picture of his ass!

She doesn’t skip a beat and texts back, “Why are you sending me a picture of your ass? Does it look better than your face?”

He writes back lol, really?

Yup, you guessed it DELETE and go ahead guess his new name… Yup, you guessed that too Mr.Assman!

 

We have names and stories for all the guys that we have encountered, which we decided that we are going to write a book about it!

 

We would love to hear your stories as I know in this age of technology there has to be plenty!

 

Look dont be a man hater, dont think there is no good men out there, that they are all freaks, have fun with it, call your girlfriend have a really good laugh in the morning on your way to work like I do!

 

Laughter is the best medicine, at least get something good out of it! Don’t take life so seriously, enjoy, laugh and then write a blog about it! Since I am the Taylor Swift of blogging!! Got to love where I get all my ideas from!

 

Gotta run, Mr.Dallas is texting me!

 

“Be the change you want to see”

 

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

 

***Now available***

My book “The blessing in Disguise”

Selling on my website:

 

Home

 

And on Amazon.com

 

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_13?qid=1462358109&sr=1-13&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=the+blessing+in+Disguise

 

http://www.am6azon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_12?qid=1434452632&sr=8-12&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&keywords=the+Blessing+in+Disguise

 

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My baby is eighteen today

Tgif Treadmill Treats

 

Cinco de Mayo special

My baby is eighteen…

 

I can’t even believe today is my baby’s eighteenth birthday, I am still shaking my head, like how did this happen?

 

I can remember when I found out I was pregnant with you, I was having pains and went to the doctor for some tests, he told me to sit down that he had some good news and some bad news.

 

No one ever wants to hear those words, he went on to tell me I was pregnant. Which I was shocked as I was still getting my period and the fact that I had endometriosis and they told me I would probably never have another child.

 

I was ecstatic, but then he came the bad news….I had some kind of tumor growing and he didn’t know if it was cancer.

In one second my world turned upside down, I would have to come back in a few weeks to see.

 

When I went back he informed me it grew way to fast and if it was cancer I wouldn’t survive the pregnancy, we had to go in now. I was 4 months along and this was major surgery that they would move the baby to one side and then remove the tumor, there was little chance of the baby’s survival, he made that very clear to me.

 

After a 8 hour surgery and the rest of the pregnancy on bed rest and lots and lots of praying, Miss Sarah J. Came to the world on Cinco de Mayo at 3:48 in the afternoon.

 

All the doctors and nurses called you a miracle baby, you survived all the odds to come.

You were always smiling, always happy, you never cried, never fussed, but lord was you were into everything, and was the best escape artist ever.

Escaping from your crib, your stroller, my hand, let go of you for one second and you were off and running.

I can still see you sucking your thumb while carrying around ellie and cely.

 

You were the perfect student, always on the honor rolls, the perfect child never saying or doing anything wrong, maybe too much so as we all know we can never achieve perfection and this took a toll on you.

 

Your teenage years were hard on both of us, living in a home with a verbally abusive father, a mother that was misrable and a sister who always caused drama weighed heavy on this free spirits soul.

 

After my dad died, one of my best friends, your “uncle Waltie” and then my mom dieing all in a span of 3 years, something died in both of us, all of this changed you.

You were depressed, moody, you hated the world and who could blame you as this was too much for a teenager to have to handle.

 

When I finally left your dad, you thought I left you too, our relationship was strained but I kept pushing through, always there for you, telling you time and time again how much I loved you, that I knew your pain and all of this would pass.

 

Eventually we got past this, you got past this and you pulled it together even finishing high school early.

This month is especially blessed for us… you are a young women today and at the end of the month you will be graduating, we are at an amazing place in our lives, with you living with me full time with your sister.

 

Our home is filled with peace, joy and laughter, we have all overcame alot, we fought the battles and came out victorious. This fight has made our love stronger, it makes me proud to know I raised this amazing young women.

 

So today my miracle baby, I want to tell you and the world how proud of you I am.

 

That you have overcome so much, yet you are still loving, caring and have a heart of gold. You are compassionate, funny, unique and you definitely dance to your own drummer just like I taught you.

 

You are going to have an amazing life, with college off in the near future… you my dear can and will do anything you set your mind to.

You are truly God’s gift and as your uncle Ricardo always says you are gifted, but I always knew that, see you have and will always be my gift.

 

Fly free…my gift…see the world, change the world…be you, never worry about what others say…share this amazing gift with everyone you meet…

 

And know your biggest cheerleader will always be here for you…praying for you…Loving you for you… the amazing young women you have become…I am so proud of you…

Happy eighteenth birthday baby!!

 

“Be the change you want to see”

 

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

 

***Now available***

My book “The blessing in Disguise”

Selling on my website:

 

Home

 

And on Amazon.com

 

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_13?qid=1462358109&sr=1-13&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=the+blessing+in+Disguise

 

http://www.am6azon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_12?qid=1434452632&sr=8-12&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&keywords=the+Blessing+in+Disguise

 

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National day of prayer

Thursday Treadmill Treats

 

National day of prayer

 

Today is National day of prayer, people all over the world will come together and pray as one.

The bible speaks of “When two or more people come together to pray, I am with them”

 

There has never been a time when we needed to come together more, than now. We have more racism, more hate, less tolerance and more divide in our world than ever.

 

Instead of coming together to make “Our nation great” we have never been more torn apart, we are the laughing stock of the world and may be on the verge of World War 3.

 

We need prayer more than ever, we need to come together, Black, White, Asian, Muslim,  Christian, Gay, Straight,Trans, all of God’s people, must come together and pray for peace, pray for tolerance, for strength in these troubled times.

 

Prayer changes things…I know… you are looking at someone who had hit the bottom, who lost my self, my faith and my way. Yet through it all I prayed, I believed that prayer could change things, even while I lay crying night after night, even when it seemed hopeless, I prayed…

 

We seem to pray only when we need something, when there is nothing else, when it’s our last hope. When we should pray every day, when we should be grateful for anything and everything we have, we should pray for our neighbors, our families, our loved ones and yes, even our enemies.

 

Matthew 5.44

“But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you”

 

Yeah that one was a hard one for me, what? Love my enemies, pray for them…Oh I’m praying that they …..

 

Oh you know what you would end that sentence with.

But I’ve learned you need to pray for them, to heal their hearts, to fill them with God…that is the only way things will change.

To put out evil thoughts about another, even when it is deserved, is perpetuating hate and anger.

 

What we need to put out in the world is… love, compassion and tolerance for others, even for the ones who hurt us, even for the ones that are different from us, they are all God’s children just like you and I.

 

Mathew 18.19

“Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven”

 

So today my friends, remember let’s come together and ask God to heal us, all of us.

 

Let us ask for peace, for compassion, for tolerance, but most of all, for love for one another…love is the most spoken word in the bible…he is trying to tell us something…let’s listen today on this very important National day of prayer…

 

I’ll end this with my favorite song…”I’ll pray for you, you pray for me and watch God change things”

 

“Be the change you want to see”

 

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

 

***Now available***

My book “The blessing in Disguise”

Selling on my website:

 

Home

 

And on Amazon.com

 

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_13?qid=1462358109&sr=1-13&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=the+blessing+in+Disguise

 

http://www.am6azon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_12?qid=1434452632&sr=8-12&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&keywords=the+Blessing+in+Disguise

 

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I am so not perfect

Hump day Treadmill Treats

 

I am so not perfect

 

I am so not perfect, let’s just put that out there, let’s be real.

If you read my blogs you know that if I am nothing, I am real. Some of you think I am too real and ask me how I can put all my business out here.

 

It’s so that my readers can see themselves in me, in my troubles, in my struggles and say hey, if she can get past this so can I.

 

I have to tell you, it takes way too much work to be perfect.

I did that for way too many years, trying to please someone else, trying to fool the world to see what was not there.

 

I don’t want to ever have to do that again, I have flaws, we all have flaws, some of you are too ashamed or embarrassed to show them to the world as if we’re all not human and as if we all don’t make mistakes.

 

We are all not perfect but for some reason in this society, you have to have this facade that you’re perfect, that you never do anything wrong and nothing bad ever happens to you, in this perfect little social media world.

 

We want other people to look at us that way, look at me and my perfect life…. look at the house of lies I live in…look at the big expensive house I have but can’t afford a pizza, look at the designer clothes I dress in, looking like a million dollars  but the crediors calling every day, look at my perfect family, yet we are a disfunctional mess behind this wall of lies.

 

That’s way too much work for me…I swore if I ever got out of my web of lies that I would never lie again. Look I’m so not perfect, I curse like a sailor when I’m in traffic, well…that might be a New York thing….

 

Okay, I curse like hell all the time, so what? I wear my heart on my sleeve, I love big, I fly off the handle and say things I should hold on to until I calm done. I sometimes have a short fuse when it comes to my kids and their things that piss me off but I am quick to apologize.

 

I can get very passionate about things I believe in, sometimes too much so. I see the best of people, too much, as I am almost blinded to the truth.

 

I expect people to act like me, be honest, be a great friend, be a good person and yet not everyone is like that and I get mad when they are not.

I expect honesty ha! Not in the dating world but I still expect it.

 

I am a Christian but I am definitely not perfect here either…

I’ve broken many commandments…Oh don’t act shocked, we all have, get real!

 

I get down, I ask why me? When will it be my turn God?

I ask God for something and when he provides I ask for another sign just to make sure.

I questioned him, I’ve cursed at him, I have even stopped believing in him yet he has always been there for me.

 

No, I am far, far from perfect and truthfully I don’t know if I ever want to be perfect. I need to learn more lessons, I need to pray for help, I need to remember where I’ve come from to give thanks, I need to grow and change. When you are perfect, you are done, there is no room for any of that.

 

So today my friends, remember we are all not perfect, we will fall, we will struggle, we will screw up and screw up big time (At least if your like me, anyhow)

But it’s about learning, it’s about paying it forward with our knowledge, it’s about being real and raw…if we were all like that, we wouldn’t need to kill ourselves trying to be “perfect”

 

“Be the change you want to see”

 

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

 

***Now available***

My book “The blessing in Disguise”

Selling on my website:

 

Home

 

And on Amazon.com

 

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_13?qid=1462358109&sr=1-13&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=the+blessing+in+Disguise

 

http://www.am6azon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_12?qid=1434452632&sr=8-12&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&keywords=the+Blessing+in+Disguise

 

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