Treadmill Treats Monday Message
Stop being petty…
Today’s message is an important message that effects so many people.
So many people can’t or won’t let go of the past, so much so, that they become angry, bitter and petty.
I saw this in full effect this weekend at my daughter’s graduation, this amazing celebration that should have been filled with love and joy but instead was mared with petty bullshit.
I have, since the beginning, decided to take the high road in this divorce for the sake of my girls, have I’ve been perfect? Oh hell no, read my blog I am far from perfect but for the most part I have tried to not talk about their dad, I don’t ask about him, what’s he’s doing, who’s he’s dating, nothing at all.
Have I occasionally called him a ass hole? Absolutely when he stopped paying child support, when he pulled a few other stunts, yes….but I have not put my girls in the middle of our bullshit.
When my baby turned 18, my ex told he he would never speak to me again and true to his word, at our daughter’s graduation he refused to speak to me. His whole family came over to me, they hugged and kissed me hello, they told me they missed me and wished I could come to the upcoming wedding of my sister in law.
I was grateful for their kindness, I have always loved them, they were in my life for 24 years, it sucks that he has made them choose sides but it is what it is.
I said hello, nothing…
My girls watched as his pettiness took over…I wanted to cry when I looked at my baby and she looked like she wanted to cry.
This was her day, she worked so hard to get here and I wasn’t going to do anything to ruin it for her. When they all said they were going out afterwards to celebrate and a few of his family said they would have liked to invite me, my baby looked so torn as not waiting to leave me on my own but still waiting to go with them.
I made it easy for her, I told her to go with them, have a great time, that we would celebrate another time, this was her day…it was okay.
Was my heart breaking that she had to be put in this position? Absolutely, would I have gone to lunch with them? Absolutely, I would have sat at the other end of the table, I wouldn’t have cause a scene or spoke bad about their dad, I would have just been there for my daughter, to make her feel like she didn’t have to pick, to let her enjoy her day without stress.
But my ex was not having any of it, I was persona non grata, he wouldn’t even let go of his pettiness, not even for the sake of his child, not even for one day.
We have been divorced almost 4 years, I’ve moved on, he’s moved on. Look I was misrable and I wanted to live the second half of my life happy.
I imagined he was misrable as well, after a while you must know your partner is faking it, in all areas of your lives, he had to see and know I was calling it in, but I was done doing that so I left…
And your still mad why? Because I can actually take care of myself, because I am happy, because I am living my life on my terms?
Whatever it is that your still mad about, you should have put it aside for the sake of our children, for this one special day, you needed to let it go.
That afternoon I reached out to a friend of mine, he is also divorced, his ex cheated on him, then married the man she was with. Yet this man for the sake of his children and his love for them, put all that aside and still goes to family functions, he still speaks to them, he has never say a bad word against his ex and he has every right to, yet he chooses not to.
I told him I am glad that I know real men like him, men full of integrity, men who no matter what will put their children first. That I was grateful to know him and know not all men were so petty.
He apologize to me for my ex’s behavior, saying it was pretty shitty of him to do that but no not all men are like that.
Do I wish I could be friends with my ex? Definitely and I would, for the sake of my girls… I would do anything for them.
I don’t want them to feel they have to pick, that they are in the middle, so until or if that day ever comes I will do what so many mother’s in the world do every day for the love of their children, I will sacrifice myself and my happiness to make them happy.
Look here’s the thing….they know…they see or will one day, see what you’ve have done for them. My girls saw and called it out, they spoke the words petty….not me.
They told me how they wished he could get over himself and his issues and then told me it was alright because I looked hot as hell and that probably pissed him off even more…
Have I told you how much I love my girls lately?
So today my friends, while graduation season is here, oh hell don’t wait for that, how about a birthday, a school event or just a Friday when your picking them up.
Think about how your actions, your anger, your bitterness, your pettiness is effecting your children.
Look at their faces, see their hearts breaking….and think twice about your actions that will effect them for a lifetime.
I chose to put my girls first….all the time…what do you chose?
“Be the change you want to see”
“And just when the caterpillar thought his life over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”
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