Forgiviness is not for others, it is for you

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Forgiveness is not for others, it is for you…

Recently this topic has come up a lot with me and my friends and I realized that forgiveness is a very hard thing to do for a lot of people.

It wasn’t easy for me as well until I learned one key factor…it is for me and not them.

I remember driving my Mustang GT it was a beautiful day, t tops were off, radio was blasting, I was looking and feeling good. A perfect day until I saw my rapist coming out of a place with some girl laughing like he didn’t have a care in the world.

All of a sudden everything about me changed, I gripped the steering wheel, I wanted to run him over…a few times, I was angry and wanted revenge. Totally different persona then 5 minutes before, but what I realized is he didn’t know and didn’t care how I felt, he was going on with his own life and none of this was effecting him.

When I loaned money to my best friend and she took off, I had not olny lost my money but my best friend as well. You better believe I was hurt and angry.

But I knew I had to forgive her, not for her but for me. See I learned that unforgiviness will empower those who OWE you to OWN you…

Yes, they will own you, your thoughts, your emotions, your time, your whole life is thinking and hating them…they own you.

Letting go, let’s you go… you have to forgive and then let go…it’s the only way to release it. In order for us to continue to grow, we have to learn how to continue letting go.

Now let me tell you, forgiveness is NOT…a approval of what the offender did to you…

Is is not closing our eyes to the wrong…

Forgiveness is not forgetting…

Forgiveness is not submitting to abuse…

Forgiveness is not automatically trusting again…

Forgiveness is not always the restoration of a relationship…

You can forgive but your not going to get played again, your not going to allow that person back into your life.

Yes, I forgiven my rapist but I will never forget the pain he caused me.

Yes, I forgiven my best friend but we are done, finshed, you will never get the chance to screw me over again. This goes for the men in my life as well, I will forgive you for lying, for cheating, for hurting me but we are done.

I am a one and done girl, I will be your best friend, have your back and be your biggest supporter but you screw me and we are done!

We also think forgiveness is avoiding confrontation. No, you are allowed to say your feelings, to confront the people on their wrong doings, to tell them your mad, hurt and pissed as hell. You can be all of these things and speak them but then you must forgive and walk away.

Unforgiviness is a spirit of bondgage, that keeps you stagnant and stuck in that place of hurt and hate…

Forgiveness is a spirit of liberation that sets you free so that we can move on without hatred.

People think if I forgive them, then I am giving them a pass on what they did.

No, your not, your not saying it’s okay that you’ve done such a horrible thing. Your acknowledging what they did, your speaking to what they did, your not forgetting what they did but your releasing all the hate and anger you are holding within you, you are setting yourself free.

So today my friends, is anger and hate holding you hostage? When you think of that person does your whole persona change?

Is all your time focused on hating them and hurting for what they did to you?

When they are living their lives without a care in the world, not thinking of you and what they did to you…see hating them has no effect on them…none what so ever …the only effect it has is on you…think about that… and then forgive and set your self free…

“What you can become depends on what you can overcome”

Be the change you want to see”

” And just when the moth thought his life was over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

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