Some people are like trees

Hump day Treadmill Treats

 

Some people are like trees

 

My girlfriend sent me this Tyler Perry, Madea video this morning and I needed to speak on it, as no words could have been truer. He explains how some people are like trees in your life and some are there for a season and some for a lifetime.

 

See if someone wants to walk out of your life…let them go!

Especially when you’ve been the best man or best women you could be towards them, let them go.

 

Whatever they are running after they will see what they had but let them go.They will realize what they lost eventually but it will have been too late, you would have already moved on by then.

 

The person your crying about now, you won’t even remember their last names in 3 or 4 years, you will be saying “What the hell was I thinking? I must have been lonely as hell to have hooked up with you!”

Now your laughing because we have all said that at one point in our lives or another.

 

Some people come into your life for a lifetime, some just come for a season and you need to know which is which.

 

Sometimes you will tell a person about the things they are doing that are hurting you, if they fix it or they try to fix it then they are a leaf trying to grow up to be something, if they don’t, that means they don’t care, they never cared move on! Let them go!

 

See some people are like leaves on the tree, they blow this way, then they blow that way and as soon as the storms come they are out of there, they were just there to teach you a lesson. Most people are like leaves, they are only there to suck life out of the tree and once in a while give you shade, then they wither up and die.

 

Some people are like the branches of the tree they stick around for a while but as soon as you step out on them, they crack and break leaving you high and dry.

 

But if you have a few good people, these are the roots of your tree, that are there for a lifetime.Those are the ones you keep around, because no matter how bad the storms get they are there to protect you, to keep you steady, these are your deep roots, that are meant to stay around.

 

It took me along time to find peace in my life, I have put up with a lot of crap along the way because I didn’t think I was good enough, I was scared to be alone, I needed a man in life so I put up with chaos, I put up with shit just because fear kept me stuck.

 

Yes, I am one of those who say “When God, when will I have a good man?”

but I’ve realize that this the time is to work on myself, it’s okay to be alone. I’d rather be alone and happy than with someone that is ruining my peace.

And here’s a tip I’ve learned if you have peace in your life and then you find someone and your peace feels like it’s leaving you….they are not the one, trust me when I tell you this.

 

You will be surprised by the things people put up with just to have someone say they love them….no, you need to love yourself first, you need to spend time with yourself, figure out why you are crying over leaves, that were there for a season, they are there to teach you a lesson, figure out what that lesson is and move on.

 

Yes, even at this age I am learning and growing and changing. See I refuse to settle, I refuse to let someone use or abuse me, I am okay with my life. I have a full life and if you don’t, then go out and get one.

 

The other day my girls asked me where I was going, I said to yoga on the beach, they asked with who? I said I didn’t know, it was a Meet up group. They said how can you do that, you don’t know anyone, that is the point I said… I will meet people.

 

It’s your choice you can sit home, you can be lonely, you can put up with shit just to say you have a “man” or you can get a life, you can make the life you want. Don’t wait around to live until you find someone, find yourself now.

 

So today my friends, realize who are your leaves in your life, who are your branches and know that they are there for a season and it’s okay.

And then you will realize who are your roots, the ones you can always depend on. In the meantime, learn your lessons, find yourself, enjoy yourself, live your best life now!

 

“Be the change you want to see”

 

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

 

***Now available***

My book “The blessing in Disguise”

Selling on my website:

 

Home

 

And on Amazon.com

 

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_13?qid=1462358109&sr=1-13&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=the+blessing+in+Disguise

 

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When you know better, you do better

Tuesday Treadmill Treats

 

When you know better, you do better

 

When you know better, you do better, is one of my favorite quotes from Maya Angelou because it is so true, this goes for everything in your life.

 

When you are young and you date a man solely based on his looks or the car he drives, you think, yeah that’s all I care about, he’s hot! Until you realize hot alone does not cut it, if he is as dumb as a rock and cant add unless he takes off his shoes, hot goes out the window.

 

Listening to your elders, oh that’s a big one, I remember telling my daughter one of the first times we were going to New York in the winter, that the “boots” she wanted me buy her were actually slippers.

 

She turned to me and said “You don’t know what your talking about, all my friends have them”

I said “What the hell do your friends know they all live in Florida!”

But because she thought she knew better than me, I bought them and that “cute coat” that was a measly windbreaker at best, to teach her a lesson.

 

I told her cute goes right out the window when your freezing your ass off! But she wasn’t hearing it. Needless to say it was 5 below 0 zero and sleeting when we got there and her “boots” were soaken wet, her feet were frozen and she was shaking from the cold in her “coat”

 

She was whining and crying that I needed to buy her new boots. I said “Ha! Not me! Remember, I’m the one that doesn’t know anything? Besides you look cute, isn’t that what you were going for, well you got it!”

 

Do I have to tell you she ended up buying her own boots and now she always packs warm when going away.

 

See how this saying goes? Especially when we were young, we would put up with things like a lying, cheating spouse, a drunk, or a gambler because “Girl, I love him”

Now that we are a grown, we know our self worth and we know that we would rather be alone that be treated like that again.

 

When we look back at our at our lives and look at some of the truly stupid things we’ve done all while thinking, I got this, I am “grown”

It makes us slap our heads and say “What an idiot I was” but these are all lessons we needed to learn.

 

The worst comes when you have children and then believe me, you are truly winging it, they come with no manual. You thought you knew what you would do and was very vocal about it as you watched others do it before you. Ha! big difference when its your kid!

 

It’s like when you are watching a boxing match, your yelling you suck, you should have gave him a jab, left uppercut, oh please didn’t you see that coming?

 

What would happen if you got in that ring? Would all your great advice still work for you? Oh hell no! you would be knocked out before the bell stopped dinging to start the fight! Get real!

Yeah, it looked easier than it really is and all you thought you’d do is suddenly gone.

 

Here’s the thing, you are going to screw it up and that’s okay, you are human and it is bound to happen.

But guess what? When you know better you will do better. That’s the beauty of lessons, of living life with an open mind, you will constantly learn new things, that is what makes us grow.

 

So today my friends, don’t be so hard on yourself, its okay, you will screw up, you will fall on your face.

Hell, I do it all the time and then I put it out there for the world to see, so you can certainly tell your best friend or your pastor or counselor, who ever it is, it’s okay to talk about it, to learn from it.

 

Remember everything we go through is a lesson, it just wasted if we get nothing from it, so learn your lesson, then let it go and just know that when you know better you will do better!

 

“Be the change you want to see”

 

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

 

***Now available***

My book “The blessing in Disguise”

Selling on my website:

 

Home

 

And on Amazon.com

 

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_13?qid=1462358109&sr=1-13&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=the+blessing+in+Disguise

 

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Fear must be conquered

Treadmill Treats Monday Message

 

Fear must be conquered

 

There are many times I’ve come to church and I ask God for a message, something I can’t figure out, something that I need answers to, so I pray that I will hear my answers through the sermon.

 

I can’t tell you how many times I felt like God was speaking right through my Bishop to me and today was no different.

 

These last few weeks have been tough on me, so many things coming against me, the storms have been so fierce that I felt like I was drowning.

 

And even though last week my church husband said what I needed to hear about how God always comes through for me, about how I am always blessed by him, but Hello! I am hard headed and needed yet another reinsurance and yesterday I got it! And I am sharing it with you today. These are my Bishop’s words…

 

You need to conquer your own fears, we are all afraid of something….of losing, of failure, of not getting what you want, so many fears we have… not being a good parent, a good parnter, a good human being, we live with fears every day.

 

Fear removes faith out of your spiritual journey, see you need to walk in your faith. It says many times in the bible

“The just shall live by faith”

 

There is a reason it is said so much, because there are more people out there besides me that are hard headed.

So you must surround yourself with people who are fearless…who have faith, who will lift you up when you have no strength.

 

Fear rules your life…

Is this you? Your thinking, this is hard, I am struggling, it’s not possible to live in faith everyday.

You’re worried about stuff you can not change.

Faith has become impossible for you and fear has become your normal.

 

Your living a defeated life…but Faith is the way of life for the believer, you must hold on to your faith in the mist of the storms.

I have to tell you, faith is only possible in the mist of chaos….

If everything is perfect then you wouldn’t need faith!

 

The reason your going through what your going through, is so that you live in faith and not fear, this is a lesson you need to learn, to trust him, no matter what.

 

When you believe in God, when you know the word, then you know God has your back and you know that sooner or later he will turn things around for your good.

 

When you begin to doubt God, your life becomes a playground for the devil, he wants you to doubt, he wants you to worry, so that your faith is shaking.

 

So what is fear?

False

Evidence

Appearing

Real

 

Fear will make you put a time clock on God but he is on his time, he is an on time God… just not on your time.

 

You must conquer your fears…

God has so much in store for you but fear will threaten your health…

Fear will give you financial stress

Fear will make you believe things are hopeless…

 

But Faith….Faith will open the door to great possibilities.

God will move moutains, he will part the seas, he will give you move than even you dreamed of.

 

Here’s the part that got me to the ugly cry… and I quote…..

 

You have seen God do good over and over again…yet you doubt him…but he if he’s done it before he will do it again..and again….and again..

 

Didn’t my church husband just tell me that? Don’t I know that? Yes, but I needed to hear it again…that is the human part of us.

He closed with this….

 

“The Lord is my light and my salvation whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life of whom shall I be afraid?”

 

“Through an army besiege me, my heart will not fear…though war break out against me… even then I will be confident”

 

Yes, this was God speaking to me yet again, another confirmation that hard headed me needed. I get it….I get it…

I chose not to have fear…I chose faith…

So today my friends ask yourself what do you chose?

And then ask yourself how’s that working for you?

 

If it’s not working, get rid of fear and find your faith, it’s your choice, choose wisely as this is the difference between a peaceful live and a life filled with fear.

 

“Be the change you want to see”

 

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

 

***Now available***

My book “The blessing in Disguise”

Selling on my website:

 

Home

 

And on Amazon.com

 

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_13?qid=1462358109&sr=1-13&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=the+blessing+in+Disguise

 

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Racism in your own neighborhood

Tgif Treadmill Treats

 

Racism in your own neighborhood

 

Yesterday while I was on Facebook I saw a friend of mine, that I grew up with, post a picture of some Islamic women with the caption that said and I quote

“Dirty bastards taking over Brooklyn”

 

I had to stop and look twice, like I couldn’t believe what I just saw and I responded with exactly what I was thinking…. “Wow….Did you really just say that???”

 

Yes, welcome to the new world where all the closeted racists are now free to come out of the closet, hurry grab your white sheets, it’s okay to be a dick again!

 

I guess it surprised me as we grew up in such a diversified town, we had black friends, gay friends, interracial friends, Spanish friends, Indian friends, Jewish friends, Christian friends, this was truly a melting pot of people. So when did you become a racist?

 

And when did you think it was okay to post it on social media? I am still stunned at the blatant disrespect of another human being.

 

Saying  you hate a whole race or culture because of what a few people have done is like when in the 70’s when people blamed all the dobermans for one attack. In the 80’s it was the rottweiler and in the 90″s it was the bit bull…

No, it wasn’t all of these types of dogs that attacked but people blamed all of them for the few attacks, they were all bad…they had to be banned….everyone jumped on the ban wagon…we must get rid of them….

 

Same thing applys here because a radical bunch of Muslims have done these terrible acts, the whole group gets blamed.

 

I shouldn’t be surprised, it happened in World War 2 when we gathered up all people of Japanese descent and put them in camps in the United States because of what other Japanese did. Where does that make any sense?

 

That’s like saying I should be put in jail because I am Italian and look what Mussolini did, so I shouldn’t be trusted. Really?? Does that make any sense at all?

 

Why does it bother you so much that people are different than you? Gay marriage is not effecting your life, an Islamic women sitting on a bench laughing with her friends is not a threat to you and interracial couple that has done nothing to you.

 

They do not deserve to have to deal with your hateful ways, they are just living their life and they, like all of us have a right to live it without hateful words spoken to them, without worrying about getting pulled over, without seeing hateful images on the Internet.

 

Who died and left you God to judge others? You all make me laugh, so righteous looking down, pointing fingers at others when your own houses are a mess.

 

When you cheat on your wife’s, have children out of wedlock, when you are dishonest and lie to others, but that’s okay in your twisted mind.

Yet you all think it’s okay to judge others and speak about them like they are sub human.

Really??

He who has no sin, cast the first stone….

Go ahead anyone…anyone…..yeah I didn’t think so….

 

I am truly sadden for the state of this world I am leaving to my children. I am saddened that as far as we have come, for women rights, equality for the LGBT community, the overcoming of segregation, the rights of a women’s body and so many other rights, that people fought and died for,

that now we are letting it slip away.

 

We need to be that voice for the people that don’t have one, that are too afraid to speak up, that one day could be you or I….

 

So today my friends take a stand, let the people in your life know it’s not okay…

Stand up, be heard….we are all one…no matter what color, what religion, what sexual preference.

 

We are all humans, we all bleed the same color…we all have the same wants, we want a family, love, to be able to live in peace and not fear….

We are all one…it’s only when you chose to see the difference that you will….

 

This year has taught me alot of lessons and one of them is to get rid of toxic people so I am putting it out there if your a racist, you are no longer welcomed in my world…my world only has room for love and not hate….

Take a stand and do the same!

 

“Be the change you want to see”

 

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

 

***Now available***

My book “The blessing in Disguise”

Selling on my website:

 

Home

 

And on Amazon.com

 

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_13?qid=1462358109&sr=1-13&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=the+blessing+in+Disguise

 

http://www.am6azon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_12?qid=1434452632&sr=8-12&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&keywords=the+Blessing+in+Disguise

 

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How do you deal with the stress in your life?

Hump day Treadmill Treats

 

How do you deal with the stress in your life?

 

We all have stress in our lives, we live in a fast pace world, we want more, we want to keep up with the the Jones, whoever they might be.

 

Just getting by takes all you got these days and being a single mom out here is twice as tough.

We want to be the best mom’s we can be, be there for our children, pay the bills, deal with our homes, our jobs, try to fit in some kind of love life and still have time for ourselves, our friends and our families.

 

It’s enough to drive yourself nuts, if you let it. I know about all of these things as I am a single mom and I am human. Sometimes it’s just too much, sometimes life throws so much crap at you, that you feel like your drowning, that you think your taking 2 steps forward just to get knocked 3 steps backwards.

 

We’ve all been there, things seem to be going well, we are ahead, life is going along, your dealing with things, when all of a sudden bam!

Shit hits the fan, you lose a job, something unexpected happens, someone comes at you, your heart gets broken, or sometimes it all comes at once…bam there it is!

 

Recently this has happened to me and it seemed overwhelming, like why me? Why is this happening again? When will I ever catch a break?

 

I did a little pitty party, I cried, I laid in the tub with wine and tried to figure out what was my next move, I cried…wait did I already say that…okay so I did alot of that…

 

But then I realized I can’t do stress, it was stealing my peace, I worked so hard for my peace and I want it always in my life, so I am willing to do anything to keep it here.

 

So I did what have done for years, I prayed and let God worry. See I know time and time again that when one door closes another one opens, see he does this.

 

He didn’t bring me this far to leave me, I have been through worst, I am a survivor, I am a fighter. Yes, I will get knocked down but you better not be stupid enough to bet against me, because I will rise again and again.

 

Each time you think I am out for the count, every time you think I have lost, I will come back, stronger than ever.

See the impossible is my life…

Yes, I’ve overcome things that would have killed others and I have had blessings that seem impossible, it’s because I have faith that is unstoppable.

 

So yes, the storms may be here now, yes my heart may have been broken, yes, people have come against me, yes, situations may have changed but trust me, this will only make me stronger, this will only make my faith stronger.

 

See you don’t know my God, see you don’t know that when the storm is here, I can dance in the rain, I can speak my truth, I can stumble but I will get back up.

I will keep fighting, I will keep putting my story out there for others to find hope in, this is my purpose, this is why I must go through what is thrown at me time and time again.

 

And when you really need a kick in the ass you can always go to the one person in your life who will give it to you real…for me it’s my church husband…who told me that no one gets blessed more than me, that no one has a faith like mine… that even when it looks really bad God always comes through for me…. So why would I be stressing?

 

So I will not lose sleep over it, I will not cry another tear, I will not stress or worry. Instead I will pray, I will look inside for the lessons I’ve obviously needed to learn. I will cry tears of gratitude for all that I have, for the road I have already traveled, for the strength to persevere in spite of everything.

 

So today my friends I know you might be going through the storms right now, I know that you might be tired, that it seems like it will never end.

 

That you’ve cried enough tears to fill a ocean…I know…but hold on….go to your higher power whatever that may be…

Let go of things you have no control over, let peace take over your life…believe that anything is possible and it will be okay…this is just a season…but seasons dont last forever….

 

Ask yourself how are you dealing with the stress in your life? And then change it!

 

“Be the change you want to see”

 

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

 

***Now available***

My book “The blessing in Disguise”

Selling on my website:

 

Home

 

And on Amazon.com

 

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_13?qid=1462358109&sr=1-13&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=the+blessing+in+Disguise

 

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Finding peace in your life

Hump day Treadmill Treats

 

Finding peace in your life

 

Today’s blog may be more for me than you…recently alot of things have come at me…I am human and sometimes it’s tough, sometimes I get down, sometimes it gets hard but the one thing I’ve learned is to hold on to my peace, when I am not centered my peace goes away…and I have worked too hard to let that happen.

 

Every one is always talking about finding peace in their lives. Is there is chaos in your life? Is there is always so much drama around you?

 

You never get a minutes peace and you wonder why is life doing this to you?

Is this you? Are you thinking you will never have peace?

 

Stand up and be accountable for your life, peace is a choice, you choose to have peace in your life! Simple huh?

Yes, you choose to have peace, Its up you.

 

I write a lot about choices because that is what life is about! Yes, things will get thrown at you, life is not always going to be a bed of roses! Get over it, it is what it is! But its about how you chose (there is that word again)

to deal with it, that will make or break you.

 

I write every day, I write about my story, about what got me to where I am today. It was my choice, to give my life to God, because I was broken and hurting,

I was lost and dying inside, I chose to believe I could do it, even when everyone including my own mother said I would never make it on my own.

 

I chose to be happy,

I chose to be positive every day, I chose to have peace and joy in my heart.

How do I do this? I let go and I give it all to God, I can’t do this on my own, look what a mess I made of my life without him.

 

I chose to pray and let God worry, nothing changes when you worry, nothing! So why do it then? I no longer worry about anything!

 

I chose to be grateful each and every day, even when things are falling apart around me, even in the face of the storm, I know I will be alright.

 

Even when I feel lost, when life is throwing so much at me, when my heart is breaking and I don’t know why all of this is happening, I still look to God, I still believe it will get better.

 

See I know that this is a test, to see how great my faith is, to teach me a lesson, to see if I will break or if I will stand tall in my faith but I will past this test, see no matter what…. I know it will get better.

 

We all have seasons in our life, we have wonderful seasons and yes, we will have hard seasons. We will have to endure the bad ones and be grateful for the good ones but its up to us to hold on to our faith. To keep praising and keep thanking him for every day that I am alive, to know I will be alright.

I chose not to complain about what I don’t have and give thanks for what I do.

 

Oh, here’s a big one that most people can’t or won’t do….

I chose to change, change me, change bad habits, change my surroundings, even change the people in my life, if that is necessary to make my life more peaceful.

 

Sometimes change is tough but without change you will not get to your goals, your dreams and to your peace.

 

So today my friends, you say you want a peaceful life? Here are the steps to help you get there, now it is your choice to do something about it. Remember chose wisely because you only have one shot and life is way too short!

 

“Be the change you want to see”

 

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

***Now available***

My new book The blessing in Disguise

Selling on tmy website:

Www.treadmilltreats.com

And on Amazon.com

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_13?qid=1462358109&sr=1-13&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=the+blessing+in+Disguise

http://www.am6azon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_12?qid=1434452632&sr=8-12&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&keywords=the+Blessing+in+Disguise

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London bridge has fallen down

Tuesday Treadmill Treats

 

London Bridge has fallen down

 

My heart is once again aching for the people of London as another radical crazy person has bombed the London Bridge.

 

I can’t wrap my head around it and I am sure many of you reading this can say the same thing. That you can’t wrap your head around why someone would want to do this. Kill innocent people, kill children who have no political or religious views, for what reason?

 

Because you think we should all believe in your “religion” that because we are different, we have different views, different sexual preferences that you are automatically better than them and they must be destroyed?

 

What “religion” makes you hate others? Makes it okay to kill people? When is this ever okay?

 

And instead of us coming to together to fight the forces of evil, we are more divided than ever.

 

Somehow it’s now okay to hate again, it’s okay to bring out your white sheets again, it’s okay to segregate people yet again.

When was this ever okay? And what kind of person are you, that your not up in arms about all of this?

 

You should be in an uproar for what’s going on, yet so many of you fall silent, not wanting to upset people, maybe not wanting people to delete you on social media.

Please!! Who gives a shit! If we don’t stand up, we are part of the problem not the solution!

 

It’s not okay to think your better than someone else, it’s not okay to hate someone because of their skin color, their religious beliefs or their sexual preferences….Hello it’s never okay!

 

See what happens when you don’t speak out is they start to win, they get stronger, they know they can get away with more and more and slowly it becomes alright…and before you know it, we are back in concentration camps, saying how did this happen?

 

We must stand up for wrongs, for the people whose lives were cut short and no longer have a voice, for our children and grandchildren who we will be leaving this world to.

 

We must overcome evil, but the only way to do this is with love, with unity, with one world, that is on the same page, the page that says, everyone is different and it’s okay, it’s what makes us unique and beautiful.

 

So today my friends, stand up, speak out, tell the haters out there you will not follow their evil plan, to divide the world, to make it okay to hate, you have a voice…use it before it’s too late.

 

Tell them it’s not okay to kill innocent people, it’s not okay to hate because people are different, it’s not okay…it’s just not okay…

 

Our thoughts and prayers go out to the families of this tragic incident on the beloved London Bridge ….may we all be one in love♡♡♡♡

 

“Be the change you want to see”

 

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

 

***Now available***

My book “The blessing in Disguise”

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Stop being petty

Treadmill Treats Monday Message

 

Stop being petty…

 

Today’s message is an important message that effects so many people.

So many people can’t or won’t let go of the past, so much so, that they become angry, bitter and petty.

 

I saw this in full effect this weekend at my daughter’s graduation, this amazing celebration that should have been filled with love and joy but instead was mared with petty bullshit.

 

I have, since the beginning, decided to take the high road in this divorce for the sake of my girls, have I’ve been perfect? Oh hell no, read my blog I am far from perfect but for the most part I have tried to not talk about their dad, I don’t ask about him, what’s he’s doing, who’s he’s dating, nothing at all.

 

Have I occasionally called him a ass hole? Absolutely when he stopped paying child support, when he pulled a few other stunts, yes….but I have not put my girls in the middle of our bullshit.

 

When my baby turned 18, my ex told he he would never speak to me again and true to his word, at our daughter’s graduation he refused to speak to me. His whole family came over to me, they hugged and kissed me hello, they told me they missed me and wished I could come to the upcoming wedding of my sister in law.

 

I was grateful for their kindness, I have always loved them, they were in my life for 24 years, it sucks that he has made them choose sides but it is what it is.

 

I said hello, nothing…

My girls watched as his pettiness took over…I wanted to cry when I looked at my baby and she looked like she wanted to cry.

 

This was her day, she worked so hard to get here and I wasn’t going to do anything to ruin it for her. When they all said they were going out afterwards to celebrate and a few of his family said they would have liked to invite me, my baby looked so torn as not waiting to leave me on my own but still waiting to go with them.

 

I made it easy for her, I told her to go with them, have a great time, that we would celebrate another time, this was her day…it was okay.

 

Was my heart breaking that she had to be put in this position? Absolutely, would I have gone to lunch with them? Absolutely, I would have sat at the other end of the table, I wouldn’t have cause a scene or spoke bad about their dad, I would have just been there for my daughter, to make her feel like she didn’t have to pick, to let her enjoy her day without stress.

 

But my ex was not having any of it, I was persona non grata, he wouldn’t even let go of his pettiness, not even for the sake of his child, not even for one day.

 

We have been divorced almost 4 years, I’ve moved on, he’s moved on. Look I was misrable and I wanted to live the second half of my life happy.

I imagined he was misrable as well, after a while you must know your partner is faking it, in all areas of your lives, he had to see and know I was calling it in, but I was done doing that so I left…

 

And your still mad why? Because I can actually take care of myself, because I am happy, because I am living my life on my terms?

 

Whatever it is that your still mad about, you should have put it aside for the sake of our children, for this one special day, you needed to let it go.

 

That afternoon I reached out to a friend of mine, he is also divorced, his ex cheated on him, then married the man she was with. Yet this man for the sake of his children and his love for them, put all that aside and still goes to family functions, he still speaks to them, he has never say a bad word against his ex and he has every right to, yet he chooses not to.

 

I told him I am glad that I know real men like him, men full of integrity, men who no matter what will put their children first. That I was grateful to know him and know not all men were so petty.

 

He apologize to me for my ex’s behavior, saying it was pretty shitty of him to do that but no not all men are like that.

 

Do I wish I could be friends with my ex? Definitely and I would, for the sake of my girls… I would do anything for them.

 

I don’t want them to feel they have to pick, that they are in the middle, so until or if that day ever comes I will do what so many mother’s in the world do every day for the love of their children, I will sacrifice myself and my happiness to make them happy.

 

Look here’s the thing….they know…they see or will one day, see what you’ve have done for them. My girls saw and called it out, they spoke the words petty….not me.

 

They told me how they wished he could get over himself and his issues and then told me it was alright because I looked hot as hell and that probably pissed him off even more…

Have I told you how much I love my girls lately?

 

So today my friends, while graduation season is here, oh hell don’t wait for that, how about a birthday, a school event or just a Friday when your picking them up.

Think about how your actions, your anger, your bitterness, your pettiness is effecting your children.

 

Look at their faces, see their hearts breaking….and think twice about your actions that will effect them for a lifetime.

I chose to put my girls first….all the time…what do you chose?

 

“Be the change you want to see”

 

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

 

***Now available***

My book “The blessing in Disguise”

Selling on my website:

 

Home

 

And on Amazon.com

 

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_13?qid=1462358109&sr=1-13&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=the+blessing+in+Disguise

 

http://www.am6azon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_12?qid=1434452632&sr=8-12&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&keywords=the+Blessing+in+Disguise

 

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