How do you begin to trust again?
This is a question I’ve been asking myself all week, it’s where one part of you truly wants to believe someone and the other part of you says no frigging way in hell.
I guess this goes along with the battle between your head and your heart, where your head is saying look at all the signs, look at how many times this person did the same thing over and over again. You know one of my favorites sayings is, what is the definition of insanity? It’s doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results.. ha! perfect example.
But yet your heart is telling you, they are a good person, maybe they can change, maybe what they are saying is true, so this fight goes on inside of you.
What will bring you to a decision when there’s so many questions in your mind? When you’re constantly going back and forth debating whether or not you can trust somebody.
They also say a past indicator of a person is what you’re going to see in the future, is that true?
Can a person change? I’m a big believer in change, I say it all the time, hell it’s even in the end of every one of my blogs, “Be the change you want to see”
So yes, I believe people can change at any age, it’s all up to you, it’s all in your mind. Here’s the thing, for somebody to believe that, to believe another person has changed, that person has to put forth effort, they have to take actions, words are cheap but your actions show who you are.
For example, if a man cheated on you and you give him another chance, he has to go above and beyond everything you need him to do in order for you to trust him again and to make the relationship work.
No matter what it is, what you need to feel secure, if he really wants you back, if he really wants to gain your trust back, if he really wants this relationship to work, he will do whatever it takes to gain back your trust because he’s the one who broke it in the first place.
See his actions are matching his words, he is doing the work, no matter how hard it may be to gain your trust, for how ever long it takes.
But if he came at you with I’m sorry, I’ll never do it again but was still secretive with his phone, still not telling you where he is going, still not trying to make you feel secure, that shows you that his actions are not matching his words.
How do you trust yourself to make the right decision? Especially when you are constanly trying to see the good in people? When you want to believe a person can change but you’ve been hurt so bad in the past that your heart is screaming No! Not again!
I guess this is a wait and see game, it’s a one day at a time, it’s a don’t throw yourself into the fire too fast thing.
Sit back and watch their actions, don’t listen to the words alone.
Proceed with caution, watch for signs, listen to your intuition, go into it with your eyes wide open and your heart guarded.
Only time will tell, fake can only last so long, so if this is all just to suck you back onto the same old crap, you will find out soon enough. Hopefully without wasting too much of your time and hurting your heart beyond repair.
So today my friends…. I got nothing for you…I have no answers, I am human like all of you, I love big, I give my whole heart, I trust until you give me a reason not to, I forgive and I let go but I am not perfect and I don’t have all the answers, this my friends is a wait and see game… because I don’t know how to begin to trust again.
“Be the change you want to see”
“And just when the caterpillar thought his life over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”
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