Me, myself and I
Last night I was at a singles conference and I learned alot of things about being single, so I wanted to share this with you.
Sometimes it’s feels like life doesn’t start until you meet someone, that people make you feel like you need to with someone in order to be someone.
Like if your not in a relationship, your not whole, not complete.
Movies put this into our heads with lines like “You complete me”
Why aren’t we complete before? Why must we have someone to complete us?
Being in a relationship isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be and being single isn’t all it’s cracked up to be either.
They both have their issues, their pros and cons yet being single comes with a stigma, there must be something wrong with you, oh…poor Sally she’s been single forever… poor Dave he’ll never find a women…
Singleness does have some problems
Singles is selflessness and we must remember that
Marriage is unselfessnes.
So when you get into a relationship you need to realize that, you will have to consult with another person, you will have to compromise, you might even have to concede to things to bring peace.
Being single means you have no one to answer to, you do what you want, when you want, you don’t need to ask anyone, you make all the decisions.
Being single and being Christian is hard. You want to please God and yet you are still human. But we must enjoy where we are in our lives, be present in the moment we are in.
Benifits of being single are
1.Time with God and for God
2.The right to be selfish
This is all your time, to become closer to God, it’s your time to be selfish, to work on yourself, to do the things you want to do.
I also learned that there are 4 kinds of singles out there:
1. Single and social media stunting:
You know the ones that have a profile to make them out to be something there not.
2. Single and satisfied:
Sometimes your in a season of singleness, your okay where you are, you are good with it.
3. Single and sinning:
Well, most of us fall into this one, we are Christian but not perfect. We are still trying to get it right.
4. Single and seeking:
We feel we are not complete unless we have someone, that we are desperately looking for that someone to complete us.
We need to remember these rules when are are looking for a partner (Yes, there are rules)
1. You must be physical attracted to that person.
2. You need to discuss each other’s past.
3. You need to discuss finance.
4.They must love God.
You need to know about that person, their goals, dreams. Do they have a plan? A vision? What are they doing with their lives?
Their history, are they constanly looking for the next best thing? Are they going through one relationship after another, blaming everyone else? Maybe the common denominator is them.
And you must know if you have the same beliefs.
Do they believe what you believe? Where is their faith level?
If you don’t know these things, your not ready to get married. Maybe you haven’t admitted to your flaws, maybe you need to unpack your bags from your former relationships, maybe you need to do some work on you.
Once you do this then you need to know your worth, you need to say, that is not enough or I see the red flags and I’m outta here. You need to say:
I am a wife material..
I want to get married and I will not settle.
You must have ground rules, know what is a deal breaker for you and know when it is time to move on if they cross that line.
Once you have done the work, enjoy your singleness, do the things you want to, the things you enjoy, spend time with your friends, spend time with God, do you and be grateful for this time alone.
This time maybe be short lived or long term but you need to be okay with you, with being alone and liking yourself.
You need to learn this before you get into a relationship.
So today my friends remember that being single is not a curse, it’s nothing to be ashamed of, it’s a blessing to find yourself, to work on yourself, to be selfish and it’s okay, it will make you a better partner when the time comes.
Learn to be okay with me, myself and I.
“Be the change you want to see”
“And just when the caterpillar thought his life over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”
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The blessing in disguise…. revealed**
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