Boy, you are strong

Boy, you are strong

This weekend I was hanging with a new friend and we were talking about our lives. When I told him a bit about my life he said “Boy, you are one strong woman”
I hear this a lot but I don’t understand it when people say it to me.

The way I look at things, you have two choices in life:
1. You can either let life knock you down, which it will because that is what life does
2. You can get back up and try again and fight.

These are the only two choices you have, you could become miserable, angry and bitter because of the things you didn’t achieve or because of what you perceive life did to you or people did to you.

Or you can choose to be positive, you can choose to learn the lessons of every thing that happened to you, every knock down. You could choose to look at it from a different perspective and say how can this situation make me better, what do I need to learn? What part of it is my own shit? What do I need to own?

I’m not strong, I’m just a survivor, see I’m going to survive no matter life throws at me, no matter how many times I get knocked down, I’m going to get back up, it’s the only thing I know how to do.

Believe me it’s not easy, it’s not fun, would I have liked to have an easier life? Yes, Hell we all would, who wouldn’t?

But I didn’t, so either I could choose to be mad, I could chose to hate all men because of all the hurt I’ve had, I could choose to say poor me, life sucks and everyone has it outĀ for me.
I could look at all the losses I had in my life, the many let downs, how much failure I’ve had and let life break me.

Or I can chose to say no, I am not going to see things that way. See I saw my grandmother be miserable every day of her life, she blamed my grandfather, who cheated on her, she blamed the world for her troubles, she never took responsibility for anything. She was bitter, mean and angry her whole life, nothing made her happy because she wss never happy with herself.

I made a conscious decision years ago that I would never be like her. Every day I chose not to let life take my joy, not to blame, not to point fingers on why I am not happy.
Yes, even after all the times I have gotten fucked over, I still choose to see the best in people, I still believe in fairytales, I am still Tinker bell.

This is a choice I make every day, yes, life can suck at times and it has many, many times in my life but am I going to dwell on that or am I going to learn the lesson and move on? This is a choice..

Look this doesn’t mean I don’t cry, that every now and then I don’t have a pity party and ask why God why? I am human, it hurts my heart like every one of you, the only difference is I don’t take up residency there. I have a pity party and the next day I pull up my big girl panties, I figure out what is the lesson I am suppose to learn, I dust myself off and move on.

Anyone can do this, I am not strong, I am determined, I refuse to give up, l am a survivor not a victim.

So today my friends remember you can do this too, you just need to ask yourself this question, are you a victim or are you a survivor? And then act accordingly, it’s a choice that you need to make, choose wisely because just like me, they can be saying about you “Boy, you are strong”

“Be the change you want to see”

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

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