Celebrating mother’s around the world
Yesterday we celebrated mother’s day, a day when we actually stop and tell our mom’s how much we appriciate them.
If you read my blogs you know I’m not big on these days, when are are forced to have dinner with our family, Siblings day, Valentine’s day, Teacher’s appreciation day, why must we have a day?
I don’t believe in them because I believe we should always tell the people in our lives how we feel, not once a year but every day.
As soon as I got old enough to get a job I would bring my mom flowers. Not for her birthday, not for mother’s day just because it was Friday, just because they made her smile.
When I moved to Florida I had the greenhouse set up a weekly delivery so that every Friday she still got my flowers just because.
See I wanted to let her know what an amazing mom she was, how I knew how hard her life was, I knew she grew up dirt poor in Harlem, that she had to leave school in the 8th grade to support her family as my grandmother was sick.
I knew she was a waitress working the night shift for years dealing with drunks every night to put food on our table. I knew she owned one descent dress she wore for every occasion because any free money went to me or fixing up our broken down farm house.
I knew that after working her shift, dead tired, she would come home to help my step father fix the house as they didn’t have money to pay anyone to do these things.
I knew what it was like for her to bust her ass every day. I knew my grandmother who was the most misrable, negative person on earth and lived with us, would tell her it wasn’t good enough, she was never grateful for anything my mom did.
I knew how hard it was to go through breast cancer never telling anyone because you are afraid you will lose your job, holding it all together for everyone else. To have your best friend, the father of your child, die suddenly a month later. Only to find out your only child was raped a month after that and you had to take her to endure a horrible abortion.
The night she found my lifeless body on the bathroom floor when I tired to end it all. How she sat by my side all night, how she prayed and cried when I came to, knowing she almost lost me.
Yet never crying, never complaining, always having to be the strong one for everyone else in your life. To be a women in her fifties going back to school to get her GED and then to go college, all while everyone told her it was crazy. My mom never stopped, she never gave up, she had a determination, she was unstoppable.
She took care of my step father for years in the depths of Alzheimer’s, until I found out how bad it was and stepped in.
She was always there for a friend, she always welcomed everyone at our dinner table. Some nights it looked like the United nations at our table. Black, White, Jewish, Chinese, Spanish, old, young, gay, straight, transsexual or drag queen, they were all there.
She opened her home and her heart to everyone, she become friends with all of her clients when she went back to school yet again and got her real estate licence and opened up her own company at 60.
Yes, I had some big shoes to fill and I was always grateful for this women who always put me first, who put aside her anger towards my dad for cheating to put my best interests first. To always be there for me, for always being the best mom. See I didn’t need a special day to tell her how much I admired her, I was constanly buying her cards to let her know, writing her poems, buying her flowers every week. I wanted her to know now, every day she was alive how much I appreciated her.
Not to cry at her grave, saying I wish I would have done this or that…no, I wanted to make sure she knew this now.
I took care of my step dad until he died and I slept on the floor of the Icu for 12 days when she had a heart attack. It was because of what she put into it, into me is what she got out of it. See I wanted her to know what a amazing mom she was and how I never stopped telling her that all she did for me, all she gave up, all she sacrificed for me, that I was truly grateful for it all.
I was there telling her all of this until the very end, she knew how much I loved her. How grateful I was to have her for my mom, to know what an incredible women I thought she was.
So this mother’s day and every day for the last 6 year’s, I have missed her. But I know she knew that I didn’t need a day to tell her how great she was.
So today my friends remember, don’t wait for “a day” to tell someone good job, your great, I appriciate you or I love you… just because I wanted you to know. Be present in the moment with them, spend time with them, call them, send or bring flowers just because….just because…
They won’t be here forever…
Thank you mom…I miss you every day and I only pray I can be half the mom you were…
I know you are always with me every time I see that butterfly…until we meet again…
“Be the change you want to see”
“And just when the caterpillar thought his life over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”
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The blessing in disguise…. revealed**
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