Sometimes I forget my strength

 

Sometimes I forget who I am

Sometimes I let life overwhelm me, sometimes, because I’m human I get down and I question God.
I sometimes forget where I’ve been from, how many times I’ve been knocked down, how many people I’ve lost that I loved, how many things people have done against me and to me, throughout my life. How many times I’ve had my heartbroken and how many times I’ve trusted and been betrayed.

I forget that I hit rock bottom not once but twice, that I overcame drug and alcohol addiction, that I forgave my rapist and then went on to help others who were raped.
I forget that I survived 24 years in a verbally abusive marriage, that I walked out with nothing and started a business at the same time.
That I’ve overcame a fear that kept me stuck in a place of misery for so long.

I sometimes forget that I did a triathlon, even though  I suck at swimming and hate to run, yet with a broken toe, a jelly fish bite to the ass and a thunder and lightning storm, I still placed 3rd in my age group on my first time.

I forgot that I walked on fire because I figured that might be a piece of cake after walking through fire for so many years.

I sometimes forget I have  gotten so many things on my bucket list checked off and so many things my vision board that have came true because I never gave up, having hope and faith about what was going to happen in my future.

Sometimes when the darkness comes and covers me and life comes at me strong and hard, I sometimes forget who I am, what I can do and what I have accomplished. Those days when I cry myself to sleep, when I wonder why me and when will life ever give me my season, those days that I am human and I hurt yet again.

I sometimes cannot see where I have been, the journey I have taken, the obstacles I’ve endured and the successes I’ve had, in believing in myself. It is those days, those days that are the darkest, when you cannot see your accomplishments and how far you’ve come, I know I will be okay. I know that just like the Bible verse, “Sorrow only last for a night but joy comes in the morning”

I know that in the morning that God will fill my heart with peace, with love, with joy and fill my mind with all that I have done and show me how far as I have come, to teach me that this is just all just a test for my testimony. That I will get through this just as I have got through everything else in my life, that I am not down for good, that this is just a set back. It is in those moments that I pull myself back up, I dry my tears, I lift my head, and I give thanks to my God for getting me through all I thought I could never get through before.

It is with his grace & mercy that I survived each and every day, it is with him that I continue to go on, it is with his faith that I know that one day it will be my season, one day I will be where I want to be, have the man he chose for me, the calling he has for my purpose, it is in his time and not mine and that gives me the strength to go on.

Sometimes I forgot what real strength is and that I always had it inside of me.

And just like the unforgettable quote from the movie The Wizard of Oz, I remember that:
“You always had the power my dear, you just had to learn it for yourself”

“Be the change you want to see”

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

***Now available***
My book The blessing in Disguise
Selling on my website:

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New year….new beginings

New year, new beginnings

Yes, every New Years we have a chance to change things, to make things better, to let go of some things that no longer do us any good.

We make all kinds of resolutions like to eat better, to exercise more, be kinder to others and the list goes on and on. But do we really need a day that we wait for so that we might change these things?

Isn’t everyday a new day? Why not start tomorrow? Today? This minute? This very second?

Why don’t we try to be our very best, every day? If it’s possible to start over on New Years, why isn’t it possible to change anytime in our lives? Because it’s really just another day…every day can be a new year, a new life.

Why do we judge people on sins of their past? Can any of us say we are the same people we were thirty years ago, twenty years ago, even five years ago? I would hope that people wouldn’t judge me on the stupid things I did thirty years ago, as I have grown and I have learned alot of lessons. I am not the same person I was when I was doing drugs or in a abusive marriage, I’ve grown, I’ve changed.

There are many lessons I have learned along the way that have made me a better person. But we are all growing and changing, we are all trying to do better, be better.
That is what life is all about, isn’t it? Why is it that if last New year’s you said you were going to lose thirty pounds, but a year goes by and not only haven’t you lost thirty pounds you put on ten extra.

Would you want people telling you twenty years later “Well you never did that, you never kept your New Years resolution, you can’t change” No, no one would.

There are plenty of things all of us have done that we are ashamed of or wished we could have changed, but its the past that’s why its is called the past, its behind you.

Tomorrow is a brand new day, just like New years is a brand new year. So don’t wait to change and don’t assume that others haven’t changed. Time waits for no one, use your time wisely, make today a new year, tomorrow a new year, this second a new year… any time you change yourself, is a new year.

“Be the change you want to see”

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

***Now available***
My book The blessing in Disguise
Selling on my website:

Home

And on Amazon.com

http://www.am6azon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_12?qid=1434452632&sr=8-12&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&keywords=the+Blessing+in+Disguise

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New Years resolutions

New Years resolutions

Every year we all make New years resolutions, we vow to go to the gym more, eat right, make more money, do the things we should be doing already but didn’t.

Us gym rats know that the gym is packed the first month of the year but by the last week in January not so much and by the second week in February it’s just us die hards that are in there again.

So why do we do that to ourselves? Why do we make these resolutions only to break them and then make ourselves feel bad?

Three years ago I decided I wasn’t going to make anymore resolutions, I was going to make life resolutions, to do something to change who I was as a person inside.

2014 was: Let go and let God

This meant I couldn’t control everything,
I couldn’t figure out all of my problems, if I wanted to change my life I had to let go of control and give it to God. God kept giving me messages but I thought I knew better.

All year long God has been knocking, he’s been telling you to follow him but you done what you wanted  to do where did it get you? So in 2014 I decided to let go and let God.

2015 was: Pray and let God worry

I remember stressing so much I couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep, my hair was falling out, I even thought I was having a heart attack at one point. I couldn’t go on believing in God and keep stressing, it didn’t make sense, did I believe or not? Do I have faith or not? So I chose to pray and let God worry, that was the  best decision I ever made.

2016 was: Be present in my purpose

I know I am here for a purpose, I know God gave me this gift of writing and to be able to touch others with my words and so in 2016 I chose to be present in that purpose and know that this is where I am supposed to be.

My bible verse has always been: Romans 8 .28
God causes everything to happen for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. I was present in this verse and my life all year long.

2017 was: Be real to yourself

For me it’s listening to that voice inside yourself, feeling what makes you happy, trusting that God is telling you, what is real. We often po po things in our minds, we know deep down what the message is but we don’t listen.

I heard the message and I have acted quickly on it as I trusted God and my intuition. This was a hard one and sometimes I reverted into my old ways but I was quicker to learn my lessons and move on.

This year’s is: Knowing your self worth…
A hard one for me as I’ve lost it along time ago and haven’t gotten it back. I let men use me, I run after men who aren’t worth my time, I made excuses for bad behavior of people and gave way too many chances to people who’ve have hurt me.
I have to practice what I preach, what I write about to my readers. I need to show others how to treat me, with respect and love and if not, your outta here.

But you cannot get all of this, if you still will not let go, if you still do not have faith…it’s all on you, can you get out of your own way to make things happen?

I’ve learned that these are the 7 most destructive behavior you do to yourself.

1-Pride
2-Living in the flesh rather than being lead by the holy spirit
3-Procrastination
4-Gossip
5-Unforgivness
6-Jealousy
7-Want to be served instead of serving

Once we let go of these things, once we let go of control, once we learn faith and we pray and let God worry, once we are present in our purpose, once we are real with ourselves, everything we ever wanted, everything we ever lost, everything that was stolen from us, will be returned in abundance.

So today my friends, I tell you that this is your year, you are the only one to change the things in your life. If you truly want them to change you have to do the work and believe me sometimes it’s not easy.

You don’t want to give up control, how can you not worry? How can I believe or have faith when crap is hitting the fan all around me? It is all up to you…I am no different than you…if I can do it then you can too. Change your life today…

Don’t make New years resolutions, make life resolutions…start today…

“Be the change you want to see”

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life was over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

***Now available***
My new book The blessing in Disguise
Selling on my website:

Http:// www.treadmilltreats.com

And on Amazon.com

http://www.am6azon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_12?qid=1434452632&sr=8-12&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&keywords=the+Blessing+in+Disguise

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How have you changed in the last year?

What have you changed in the last year?

You have 2 more days left, so what did you do this year? Are you the same person you were at the start of last year? Have you changed your attitude, let go of your hatred and bitterness? Did you cut out the people that weighted you down last year? Did you stop doing the negative things that plagued you?
Most people make new years resolutions and then don’t keep them.

Its never to late to change even with the hours counting down you can change right now, this minute, this second! You dont need a special day to change, a specific hour, do it right now.
Don’t give up, there is always a chance to change yourself and your life.

Don’t say I’m too old, I am set in my ways, I can’t, it won’t happen….fill in the blanks with excuses, they are just that, excuses, take action now! Being a winner doesn’t mean you always win, it means you never give up!

Champions are determined, they are not quitters.There is a Youtube video I love, it’s two marathon runners, their neck in neck, so close to the finish line when one falls and trips the other one. Their legs are like jello they keep trying to stand yet keep falling, over and over. They try to get up but can’t, then one starts to crawl to the finish line with the other right behind her.

She makes it to the finish line and then helps the other one cross it as well, that is a Champion! It didn’t matter what her timing was, it just matter that she finished, nothing was going to stop her even if she had to crawl…that is determination.

When I was doing my triathlon, I had broken my toe the day before, I had got stung in the ass by a sea of huge jelly fish in the beginning of the race and as I was running the last leg of the race, ass burning, toe killing me, the skies opened up and lighting and thunderstorms rained down on me. I didn’t care I was determined to finish.

I raised my fist to the sky and scream “Is that all you got because I am not giving up!”
I crossed the finish line and just as I did the rain stopped and the sun shined on my face. It was one of my proudest moments, I did this despite the fact that I was afraid of swimming and sucked at it, that I hated to run and that all this happened to me, I didn’t quit, I finished what I started out to do! That made me a winner.

They say the greatest accomplished in life is to earn something not to be given it and it’s true, you know you did all by yourself, you did it and that is an incredible feeling.

So today my friends with the last hours left to 2017, don’t wait until the ball drops, change your life right now, this second, it’s never to late to change…

Happy New year to all of you…thank you so much for your continuing support for me and my blog. I wish you health, peace and joy for the upcoming year and the peace of mind to know anything is possible if you believe……

“Be the change you want to see”

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

***Now available***
My book The blessing in Disguise
Selling on my website:

Home

And on Amazon.com

http://www.am6azon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_12?qid=1434452632&sr=8-12&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&keywords=the+Blessing+in+Disguise

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Hit the reset button

Hit the reset button

Isaiah 43:18-19

“Remember not the former things,
nor consider the things of old.
Behold, I am doing a new thing;
now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?
I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert”

Sometimes I am hard headed, sometimes I want what I want, even when it no longer serves me, when it is no longer good for me, yet I still hold on.

I need a word, a sign, over and over to show me the way. I am lucky God knows that I am hard headed and he gives me leeway over and over again.

Yes, I am one of those people who can’t see the new things that God has waiting for me, because I need to let go of the old, that I am holding on to.

So when my girlfriend gave me this CD of a message that my Bishop preached one weekend while I was away, something told me to listen to it as I needed a message, a sign from God and I definitely got what I needed to hear.

Don’t remember the former things….forget those things, the things that haven’t gotten us any where.
Relationships that have been over, yet your still holding on, friends that you have outgrown, jobs that no longer suits you but your still there because you, like I, am still holding on but we need to reset, do it over.

Life will throw you a ball that you can either fumble it or throw a touchdown, it’s up to you. You need to reset your passion for your purpose, you need to focus on God first.
If you go after things first, instead of God, you will miss your God moment.

There are so many hurting people in this world today, people who have been messed up, screwed over, hurt over and over again. People who have been dropped, see…hurting people hurt people…
Do we keep on hurting people? Or do we hit the reset button and stop this cycle.
You need to heal yourself first before you get into a relationship, you need to let go of things that is not in your now season.

Let people be who they are, don’t let them hurt you but you can chose to walk away, to love them from a distance, to say, I am saying no, this will no longer be acceptable to me.

Why do we constantly go back to things that didn’t work out the first time?
Why do we try over and over expecting different results?

Your willing to change but the other person isn’t willing to change, you can either live in misery or you can take your joy back and walk away. Value yourself, it’s their loss, you know who you are, you are wonderfully made.

The truth will be revealed to you if you look for the signs, if you listen, if your willing to change your patterns, if your willing to let go of the things that are not working.

Maybe it’s a pattern with you, like the pattern I have with men, everyone of them is the same, I get hurt over and over by the same kind of men that I have chosen so I need to hit the reset button and start over.

God gave your a script and you messed it up but you haven’t reset it and a part of your purpose gets cut off..you need to reset your life.

Maybe you made a wrong turn, somehow you got distracted, someone swept you off your feet but God is saying make a uturn, reset, stop making the same dumb mistake you’ve made before…

Today forget the things that are behind you and reach for the things that God has for you in front of you… what your eyes have not seen, your ears have not heard…all that he has for you…

So today my friends, remember you can reset your life, you can change your pattern, you can start over and even if your like me and need sign after sign don’t worry, he will give you it, songs on the radio, messages at church, social media posts, friends telling you things at the right time…yes, I heard the message, over and over yet I chose not to listen because I wanted what I wanted but I can no longer not listen as the signs are way to many and I need to walk away and I need to wait on what God has for me. I need to hit the reset button, do it with me today…reset your life.

“Be the change you want to see”

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

***Now available***
My book The blessing in Disguise
Selling on my website:

Home

And on Amazon.com

http://www.am6azon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_12?qid=1434452632&sr=8-12&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&keywords=the+Blessing+in+Disguise

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Yet again I get back up

Yet again I get back up…

I always write about listening to your inner voice and how over and over when I don’t, things turn out bad. Today I am writing about how all of what I talk about is practice, we need to do it over and over and over again until it becomes a daily routine.

The studies say if you do something repeatedly for 30 days it becomes a habit and you are more likely keep it up but even then you may fall off the wagon. My point today is that no matter how many times you fall off that wagon, God keeps giving you another day to try again, to change things, to make things better but it’s up to you to try again.

If I quit after every failure, if I let them win after every let down, every time I fell on my face or had the rug pulled out from under me I would be in a rubber room by now. Yes, I sometimes have a pity party, table for one, I cry, I sometimes scream, I definitely asked why me but then I realize he’s got this, I will be okay and I can and will get through another day.

For me it’s funny, I get messages, a song will come on the radio, I will go to church and the message will be exactly what I needed to hear, a friend will post something on my Facebook page just what I am going through without knowing it. These are signs we need to know so that we can and will keep going. These signs give us hope and they are tiny bits of strength for us.

Fear is a huge factor for so many of us, can we do this? Can I support my family?  What if I fail? I am afraid, I am not smart enough, pretty enough, skinny enough, rich enough…. We have all thought this, at one time or another, so feel free to add your fears in the blank.

Whatever they are, we all have them and sometimes let’s be real, change is really scary, the unknown is really scary and we don’t want to go there and fail.

I tell my girls, failure is good because it teaches you a lesson and there is nothing embarrassing about it. Great people failed before making it big, Thomas Edison, Colonel Sanders, Oprah Winfrey, even Walt Disney have all failed multiple times, but they never gave up.
Hell, I failed and have fallen on my face many of times and then I write about it for the whole world to see, now that is scary!

People you don’t even know you, are judging you but I don’t care what they have to say. I put it all out there to let my readers know that they are not alone, that if I can do this, so can you.
I am not special (except in God’s eyes) I am no different than you, you got this, we got this, it will be alright just keep practicing.

So today my friends remember, each and every day to pratice positively, practice gratitude, practice letting go of the fear, stop it in its tracks when you feel it. When you start to get anxious, when you start stressing, stop take a deep breath and go back to that happy place of peace. Some nights as I am trying to sleep, things pop into my head and each and every time, I stop, and then go back to my positive thoughts even if I have to do it a thousand times before I fall asleep.

I know those thoughts come but they are not staying and making themselves comfortable in my head!
This is my mind and I control it! And yet I get back up again….

This message today was for me, if you got something out of it, bonus plan!
(see even I still have practice)

“Be the change you want to see”

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

***Now available***
My book The blessing in Disguise
Selling on my website:

Home

And on Amazon.com

http://www.am6azon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_12?qid=1434452632&sr=8-12&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&keywords=the+Blessing+in+Disguise

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Surviving the holidays

Surviving the hoildays

This time of year is wonderful, the weather gets cooler, people seem nicer, its a season of peace and joy. We actually hear of kind acts and it warms our hearts.

Yes, it’s all of that and…lets be real here, its stressful as Hell. You have to figure out where your going to get money for presents, for food, you have to go or see relatives you don’t like, or entertain a house full of people who might not be appreciated.

You might be alone or maybe with someone who you no longer want to be with. You might have bad memories from seasons gone by, there might be a lot of things going on and for alot of people this is definitely NOT a season of peace and joy.

Recently I was getting stressed, I work alot, 12 hours a day most days, how was I going to do all of this and get everything done in time.
Hell, I can hardly get the normal things done like clean my house or put clothes away and now add shopping, wrapping, grocery shopping, making sauce and then lansgana, shells and more! Where the hell am I going to find time for all of this?

I also started thinking about Christmas’s of the past and how much I miss my family, my mom and dad, the other people who are no longer in my life and I started to get sad.
Life changes… ready or not, like it or not, this is life. Yes, it was all getting to me.

So I decided I have two choices (see there is that choice thing again) I could wallow in my sadness, stressed out, not looking forward to the hoildays or wishing they were over already or I could decide that I can’t do everything, if some things aren’t perfect so be it.

That maybe this is not where I thought I would be, or that I can’t change or bring back the people I miss, so I have to do what I tell all of you, I have to be present in the moment.
I have to remember all that I am blessed with, I have to be happy and grateful as it could have been another way.

I have a home, I have my girls, I have a business I love, we have food and money for gifts. I have family and friends who I love and who love me.
I have a support system in my church and my church family, I have faith…I have so much to be grateful for.

Yes, I may not be where I thought I should be, I may not have everything I want, I may not have all the money in the world but I do have peace and joy.
Anytime when I stress or when anxiety gets to me, I remember how far I’ve come. I remember all the past Christmas that I didn’t celebrate, all the tears I’ve cried, the years when I didn’t think my life was worth anything and I was planning on ending it. Yes, who would have thought what a few years would do, how it can change everything.

It is that, that brings things into perspective for me. God kept me here for a reason, my girls need me.
I have a purpose and even though I might not think I am where I am supposed to be, it is where I need to be now, there are lessons I still need to learn.

This keeps me going, look I know it might be tough now, you might feel alone, you don’t think you have the strenght to survive one more day but you do, you have it in you. You cant imagine how your life can turn around in a second, in one day, everything can be different.

So today my friends remember you have the power to change things and for my change,
I decided to open my home up to any of my friends and family. Hell, I even posted it on my Facebook page, an open door policy, come on over to my house, bring a chair and your appetite because I know how hard the hoildays can be alone or with people you don’t want to be with.

So remember you can change, your not perfect, you don’t have to be or don’t have to have everything, your stressed, so change… let it all go….live in the moment, be grateful for even the small things, the bigger things will come later, its okay, you will survive and you will survive the hoildays as well.

** I know this is a tough time of year so I will be putting this number out there for all that need it…I been there and I know how dark it may seem especially during the Christmas season, there is help, it will get better…I am living proof of
“This too shall pass”

Please get help, call today:
National Suicide Hotline: 24/7
1-800-273-8255

“Be the change you want to see”

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

***Now available***
My book The blessing in Disguise
Selling on my website:

Home

And on Amazon.com

http://www.am6azon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_12?qid=1434452632&sr=8-12&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&keywords=the+Blessing+in+Disguise

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Listening to that voice inside of you

Listening to that voice inside of you

I write this blog every day not because I know anything better than anyone else because believe me I don’t. It’s so that I can tell my story to others, so I can show you it’s okay to fall on your face and get back up over and over and over again and I have done just that in front of the whole world.

I write this blog so that we may learn lessons together and that I may share the lessons I’ve learned with others. Some lessons for me are harder than others, I am a little slow, it takes me a few tries before I get something through my thick head.

Here’s one I’ve been working at for a while…listening to that inner voice, really listening and then following it. When I say “voice ” it may not be an actual voice you hear, it may be a feeling, a sickness in your stomach, just intuitively knowing this isn’t right,your hair stands up, you get goosebumps, chills, whichever way it comes to you, that is your “voice”

When I met my ex husband I heard the voice, I saw the flags but I was “in love” my ego wouldn’t let me go home with my tail between my legs so I stayed. I have not said things or did things not to “offend” people, I wanted them to like me or not get mad at me, even though the inner voice told me different.

I didn’t want to listen to the inner voice when I took a job after God showed me that I could do this business I started, I was scared. Just getting divorced I needed a steady income, so yet again I went against the voice and what happened they fired me after one day! Yup just in time for God to have plenty of people calling for my services of my own business. Yes, I couldn’t make this crap up!

When I meet Mr. Con artist I heard that voice, it was telling me run,run… but I was so starved for love and affection, I was broken and vulnerable, so I chose not to listen even after all of my friends said things, I still didn’t listen (I did say before I was hard headed didn’t I? )
And look how that turned out..

About  buying my house I wanted what I wanted, when I wanted it. I didn’t listen, so God closed every door in my face, over and over until I had no other choice then to sit and wait and listen and when I did he opened an even better, cheaper one for me just like he said he would.

So why do I keep fighting against the voice? I don’t trust my judgment, I am afraid, I am not sure if what I am feeling is true just like you out there reading this, I get it, I preach about faith and believing yet I am human and I stumbled and fall.
Over and over this feeling, this voice tells me what to do and when I don’t listen, God steps in and closes another door so that I may find the right one myself.

I realized that I can no longer not listen to this voice, this voice knows what is best for me and sometimes you just have to step out into faith, it may not work out for you the way you imagined it but from past experiences I know it works out way better than you could have ever dreamed for yourself.

So today my friends,step out, listen to that “voice” whatever way it comes to you and follow it, this is your gift, we are all born with it, we chose not to use it. Use it, listen to it, do it, don’t be afraid…look how many times I fell flat on my face (go back to old blogs there are plenty) it’s okay..it makes you stronger, wiser and better, trust me I know, let fear go and take this leap of faith with me!! Wheeeeeeee……
“Be the change you want to see”

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

***Now available***
My book The blessing in Disguise
Selling on my website:

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Life is too short

Life is too short

I am always saying life is too short, how we should do what we love, how we should get rid of negative, life sucking people out of our lives, how we should spend more time with our loved ones, how we should forgive and how we should live life big, laugh often and live large!

These last few weeks I’ve been taking my own advice and doing just that. Not that I always don’t live by that motto but lately even more so.

I had parties with my singles group, luncheons with my church family, I’ve spent lots quality time with my girls on a cruise, went out with friends, went dancing, generally having a blast. Yes, I have been living my best life to quote Miss Oprah.

I still remember last year while I was at another event, a Christmas show with my dear friend, she got a phone call and her life changed forever.

Her daughter was on the phone and she could hardly understand her as she was crying so much. She said her boyfriend was just killed in a accident.

They had been dating for years, he was a good boy from a good family. He was in college, he worked, he was sweet, kind and respectful and had his whole life in front of him.

And just like that he was gone…my heart broke for my friend and her daughter, it also broke being a parent as I could never imagine the loss of losing your child. That is a pain no parent should experience, ever and yet everyday unfortunately it happens to parents all over the world.

I read yesterday, a group of people on a cruise went on a excursion in Mexico, their bus flipped over and 12 people died…just like that one second your on a vacation of a lifetime, the next your life is changed forever. That hit close to home as it could have been us doing that this past weekend.

Would it matter, the stupid things you fought over?  Would the petty differences matter now? If you cut them off because of their sexual preference, dating habits or other non important issues you disagreed upon, would it really matter now?

No, none of that would matter…Would you think about how many times you worked to keep up with the Jones, instead of being with your family? Did the fancy bag or big house matter now? How many times did you said “Not now I’m busy, later” when later never came?

Did any of that matter now? No, all you would want is one more minute, one more second to spend with them, one more time to be able to hold them and tell them you loved them.
How you would give it all up for that one last time to spend with them…but it’s too late…

Don’t live a life that’s too late, don’t have regrets, don’t say, I would have, could have, should have…

So today my friends, remember live your best  life before something tragic happens, tell the people in your life you love them, forgive past hurts, let go of pain and anger. You raised these children to have their own minds, let them make their own decisions and then stand behind them even if they don’t agree with yours.

Love them for who they are, not who you wanted them to be. Love them, don’t judge them, tell them often how proud you are of them, how they turned out to be an incredible human beings and how no matter what you will be there and love them forever.

Tell them now, wake them up if you have to, don’t let another minute, another second go by…because you never know if your going to be too late…life is too short.

“Be the change you want to see”

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life was over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

***Now available***
My book The blessing in Disguise
Selling on my website:

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Happy 21st birthday to my mini me

Happy 21st birthday to my mini me

It seems like yesterday that I found out I was pregnant.
I can remember when the doctor told me that he didn’t think I would carry this baby to full term, he was shocked I even got pregnant in the first place as my endometriosis was so bad.

I remember having pre labor and having to take medicine every 2 hours, all day and night, being on full bed rest, her crowing at 7 months and way too many trips to the emergency room.

I remembered how I prayed every day to let me have this child I so wished for and then God answered my prayers, she came 3 weeks earlier on December 17, the exact day I had a miscarriage a year before.

Yes, she was truly a gift from God and she has been my gift ever since.

She was the best baby and the best little girl you could ask for. She always listened, never left my side, she became the best big sister and then she became my protector and defender as soon as she got old enough to see the pain I faced each and every day with her father.

She got more beatings than I can count from her father and went to bed hungry on countless nights as she spoke up and against his behavior towards me. She should have been a child and I was supposed to protect her, yet here she was protecting me..

God, how I wish I could erase the past and rewrite her childhood. I can never get over the guilt I carry by putting those burdens on a child…there are not enough words to say I am sorry.

She then got to a stage of rebellion, she got wild, she was almost uncontrollable, she ran with a fast crowd, got into all kinds of messes, was probably punished most of her teenage years, yet she always had a kind heart and a giving and caring nature and she was always still there protecting me.

When she finally asked me to leave, that if I was staying for her and her sister, that I shouldn’t do it. She wanted me to be happy and so her words gave me the strength to leave and know we would be okay.

The years since we left have been the best, there have been countless laughs, late night talks, sitting around the table actually eating together. She has grown into a beautiful, kind and compassionate young women.

She has a determination that is unbelievable  (Wonder where she got that from?)
I remember at 10 she drew up a contract that if she feed the sugar gliders every night for 6 months, we would buy her a monkey she desperately wanted, we all signed it, never in a million years thinking she would do this without us telling her, but sheer determination made her fulfill her end and yes, she got her monkey! That is who she is even back then.

She has faced unbelievable obstacles, she has lost more friends than a young woman should know of, she overcame a stalker ex boyfriend and she proved her dad and so many others that said she couldn’t do it, wrong.

And she still went through it all with class, finesse and a beautiful heart and even though we sometimes fight like hell, I love her with all my heart and soul.

So today my friends, I want you to wish my beautiful daughter a happy 21st birthday!
I am so proud of who you are, I am so proud of your accomplishments, your strength, your heart…
I know you have this incredible future ahead of you, I know you can and will do anything you set your mind to..I know you will be my heart and my best friend until I take my last breath…

You my child have always been my best gift from God and I am so very grateful for him blessing me with you!

I love you to the moon and back!

“Be the change you want to see”

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life was over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

***Now available***
My book The blessing in Disguise
Selling on my website:

Home

And on Amazon.com

http://www.am6azon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_12?qid=1434452632&sr=8-12&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&keywords=the+Blessing+in+Disguise

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