The differnce between a good man and a bad man

Tuesday Treadmill Treats

 

The difference between a good man and a bad man

 

During this month, Domestic Violence Awareness month, I am writing a series of blogs on watching for the red flags and knowing our self-worth and so I figured this would be a perfect topic to talk about today.

 

A good man versus a bad man, some of us don’t even know the difference anymore, we get so caught up in them or maybe we just so desperately want to be with someone that we don’t see the flags or we ignore them because as I have learned there are always red flags.

 

Somehow in our minds we blur the difference, we keep letting these men get away with things things that as Queens, we should never have to put up with.

 

See I know all about this subject as I am the queen of picking the wrong man.

I often wonder why is it that we keep picking the same type of men, the narcissistic man? The same controlling, passive aggressive man, the same jealous man over and over?

 

Men who’s their feelings olny matter, men who only care about themselves or their best interests.

So today I will give you examples of the difference:

 

The difference between a good man and a bad one is that when your best friend dies, a bad man doesn’t have it in him or doesn’t care enough to come and to be there┬áto hold you through your pain, a good man would be there before you hung up the phone, no matter if he just worked a double.

 

A good man would offer to help you, pick you up, to be there in your time of need, bad man wants you to ask, and will only do so, if you do ask.

 

A good man that had an hour free if a client cancel would call you because that would be an hour more that he would be able to be in your company.

In a bad one’s mind you wouldn’t ever be a thought.

He wouldn’t want to spend that time with you because you’re not on his mind as much as he’s on yours.

 

A good man would text you through out the day because your on his mind and he wants you to know this. A bad one waits for you to reach out to him even after you tell him it bothers you that you seem to always do this.

 

A good man would drive 5 hours just to see you for one, a bad one doesn’t see you as valuable enough to his time or his schedule to put you on it, see him driving 5 hours to see you for one hour would never happen with this man, unless of course it’s for the booty. Come on let’s keep it real here!

 

Ladies trust me when I tell you, men like these, it’s all about them, what’s good for them and what will benefit them.

 

Yes, they will string you a long, tell you what you want to hear as long as it benefits them, as long as they are getting what they want out of it, as long as they don’t have to put that much time and effort into it.

 

I’ve actually had a man once tell me he didn’t have the time to read what I wrote to him about what I was feeling….Really you have the time for a bootycall but not the time to know why I am hurting because of the things you’ve done?

I did tell you about the men I pick ladies? But you still seem to want my advice. My advice? Don’t do anything I do!

 

Signs ladies!! These are signs, when he tells you he is a narcissist, when he tells you nothing comes before his work, when he tells you he is self centered, for God’s sake believe him! He knows himself better than we will ever know him.

These are the red flags, these are your warning signs to run, no matter how amazing the sex is, don’t let that suck you in, because eventually sex alone will not be enough.

 

So this is the question I ask myself and my queens all the time, why we can’t understand the signs? Why do we make excuses, poo poo them away? Why do we not think we are of value?

That we are worthy of better treatment, that we should always be front and center in a man’s mind. Hello… we obviously don’t mean that much to them because if we did, we would be front and center in that man’s mind always!

 

Maybe it’s the whole generation of texting where people’s emotions don’t come into play because you don’t hear them and it doesn’t come across or it gets misintrude through texting. Maybe it’s easier to do things through text, say things, that you would never have the nerve to say in person.

Whatever it is, we need to go back to the old days where we sit down and talk, when we tell them this is what I want, this is what I expect and if you chose to ignore my needs, I am kicking you to the curb.

I am done being an afterthought

(Read that blog, that was a great one!)

 

You will always be front and center in a man’s life and if your not, your outta there!

 

So today my queens, know your worth, know how valuable you truly are and if this man can’t or won’t treat you as such, trust me another man will. Don’t discount yourself for great sex, for once in a while crumbs of their time, for being last on their list, last on their minds.

 

You are worthy so much more and one day a good man will come and he will show you all the things you have been missing with these bad men.

Wait for your king…dont get caught up with these “Fuck boys” as my favorite Youtuber Derrick Jaxn always says.

 

You are worth it…I am worth it, we queens… are all worth it, don’t sell yourself short.

 

“Be the change you want to see”

 

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

 

***Now available***

My book “The blessing in Disguise”

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