I dont need to be taken care of

I don’t need to be taken care of

 

Recently I was accused of taking advantage of a person I was dating….I would like to speak to this….

 

Years ago my ex held all the cards, he took care of everything, I had no control. I was afraid to leave this big lifestyle, afraid I couldn’t make it on my own. Lets be honest I liked the fancy vacations, the designer bags, the toys…Yes, I liked the big life and so I sold my soul and stayed.

 

When I realized that no amount of money could buy me happiness, I left not knowing how I would take care of me or my girls…

 

I only had faith in God…

I left with a mattress and my personal items and for months we all slept on the floor on that mattress.

I have worked 3 jobs, I’ve worked 14 hours days,

I worked 7 days a week….I am not afraid of work.

 

I have never took money from anyone nor asked anyone for money…

I do what I have to do to get by.

I will never be dependent on a man again, I will never ask or take anything from a man, I got this….

 

Now I ask you all ..because your boo takes you on vacations does that make you a user? Because your boo wants to help fix things around your home, knowing your a single mom working 3 jobs, does that make you a user? Isn’t that what boyfriends are suppose to do for their girlfriends? At least that’s what I thought…..

 

When I did their taxes, organized their house, built their business a website, gave them a mortgage, dropped everything to fly out and take care of them when they were sick, did I throw it back at them? No, that’s what you do when your with someone… it’s called give and take….

 

But did he pay my mortgage? Did he pay my car payments? Did he clothe my girls?

 

No, he did none of that….so I don’t owe him anything….

 

I don t have a check list of all I’ve done for someone…

Oh… I did this for you now you need to do this for me….

 

I do it because I want to, because I feel for them, because God but it in my heart. Not because I need to one day throw it in their faces.

 

And just because your not feeling them anymore doesn’t mean you owe them anything for the things they’ve done.

 

I am blessed with wonderful friends, that time and time again came to my rescue.

I don’t know what I’ve would have done without my best friend that flew down to take care of all the things I needed on my new home. My guardian angel neighbor who has helped me more than I can tell you, my dear childhood friend who not only helps me out with my car but also looks out for my kids.

 

Did I have to sleep with any of them in return for their kindness? Hell no, they did it out of the goodness of their hearts and I in return would and have dropped everything to be there for them.

 

I have helped them organize their homes, helped them move, loaned them money, picked them up when their cars broke down, I listened to them at 4 am when they needed an ear….that’s what friends do…

 

Hello!! That’s called friendship, maybe people who feel this way have no friends, but I am sorry that doesn’t make me a user, that just makes me a great friend.

 

So today my friends, remember¬† doing something for someone you care about isn’t on a checklist….

I did this for you…check …

you did this for me….check

I did this for you…..check

Oh, wait you owe me one now…

 

It’s called giving from the goodness of your heart and not expecting anything in return, that’s the truest meaning of love and friendship.

 

I know I got this, I am a strong, intelligent and independent woman, but we all can use the kindness of others, especially when it’s giving selflessly.

Learn to give selflessly….

 

“Be the change you want to see”

 

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

 

***Now available***

My book “The blessing in Disguise”

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