Don’t try to change people

Don’t try to change people

I am always on here saying don’t try to change people, to except them for who they are. I look for the good in people, I look at their hearts to see what kind of people they really are, we all have faults, we are human after all.

I know better than anyone what it is like to try to be someone else to please another person. You lose yourself, you give pieces of yourself away until there is none left, then you wake up one day not knowing who you are and wondering what happened.

I realized recently that I also wouldn’t want a person to change for me, that if that is who they are, they should continue to be who they are. I would never want someone else to go through what I went through, to feel what I felt.

If your with someone who wants to change, that’s wonderful but how do you know if they really want to or they are doing it for you? How do you know that later on, they realize they didn’t want to do it, that they just wanted to make you happy yet now they are miserable because they are not their authentic selves?
You don’t… they have to make that decision to want to change for the right reasons.

So when I am out here in the dating world, I have to figure this out… can I accept this person? His flaws, his background, his little quirks? Or do they bother me too much and I have to walk away.

I have learned that I will not put up with being an afterthought, being last on their list, I will not accept calling or texting when they feel like it, if we are in a realonship or trying to build a relationship. I will no longer chase or initiate times to spend together or men who are not putting their all into this, only when it ends in a booty call.

I will also run the moment I see a passive aggressive man, narcissistic man, a controlling man or jealous man…been there, done that and will not repeat that mistake again.

I don’t have all the answers, we each walk our own journey and must be true to ourselves. I know I have to be me, always, take me or leave me, that’s okay but I am not changing.

Not to say I won’t learn things along the way or see things from a different point of view and then make a decision, on my own to change. But to try to get someone to love me or like me, to be something I am not, no, that is one lesson I learned and I don’t need a repeat performance thank you! Just like letting someone change to please me…not happening either.

So today my friends remember be true to yourself, be your authentic self, never change for someone else, change because you want to be a better person, change because you’ve learned lessons and you’ve grown as a person, that is being an adult and as I always say be the change “you” want to see.

“Be the change you want to see”

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life was all he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

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