Forgiveness is first for you

Tuesday Treadmill Treats


Forgiveness is first for you..


Recently I was speaking to a friend of mine about forgiveness and even though he is Christian, it was still a hard concept for him. He was dealing with some family problems and was hurt, he couldn’t seem to know how to go about letting go and forgiving.


So I decided to tell him my story and how I forgave my rapist.

The look on his face was priceless, he sat there with his mouth open and finally asked how? How could I forgive something like that? Wasn’t that an unforgivable act?


I sat there for a second and thought about his words, yes, it was unforgettably but not unforgivable. See I forgave this man, but it wasn’t for him, it was for me.


Forgiveness is first for you, the forgive is to release you from something that will eat you alive, that will distroy your joy and your ability to love fully.


I asked him “Do you think this man cares about the pain and torment I have gone through? If anything he feeds on it and I wanted to cut that off and in doing so release him from a burden he carries whether he knows it or not and a burden I was carrying, one that was eating me up inside”


When you choose to forgive another you love him as well, that what’s we were made to do love one another.

Nature finds more power in love and forgiveness than hate…


But here’s the thing, don’t twist this around,

forgiveness no way requires you to trust the one you forgive, no you don’t have to be friends, invite him to dinner or even speak to him again. Forgiveness is about setting you both free, letting go of the hurt, the pain, the anger and the hatred you feel.


He was still sitting there not really grasping it so I told him the story of the day it changed for me.


It was a beautiful day I was driving my new Mustang, the t tops were off, the sun shining, music blasting.

I was in a great mood,  singing to myself and smiling when all of sudden I saw him walking out of a store with someone, they were laughing and having a ball and in that one instant my whole demeanor changed, my body tensed up, I went from happiness to hatred in 1.1 second. My pressure went up, my great day went up in smoke..all I felt was anger, I wanted to jump the curb and run him over! I wanted to slap the smile off his stupid face!


How could he be happy? Look at what he did to me, he should be suffering like me! yuggg I screamed at him in my car…I had lost all control and it was in that moment that I realized he didn’t care, he was getting on with his life, this hatred was only effecting me,

that forgiving him was for me, I didnt want to feel this bitterness, it was eating me up, I needed to let it go for me not him.


It was that day I forgave him, I released all of the pain and I forgave…my whole life changed after that. Will I ever forget? No never but it no longer owns me, I am no longer the victim, I am surviver and I am free, to live, to be happy, to get on with my life.


Slowly the light bulb went off in him, he said “That’s amazing if you could forgive the man who raped you, then I can forgive my family for our differences, thank you..”


So today my friends, I am hear to tell you, it’s amazing what forgiveness will do for you, “YOU”

what it can do for you, if you only let it.


“Be the change you want to see”


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