There are times when I have undying, blind faith and then there are times when I am human and have doubts, worries and fears like everyone else. It is through those times that I pray even more, when I was in my darkest days, I still gave thanks and I still had faith even if some days it was as small as a mustard seed.
I was still grateful, I still felt blessed, I still prayed for others and their needs even as I could hardly get up in the morning, even as the pain in my heart sometimes were so overwhelming it felt like I couldn’t make it one more minute. I still prayed, I still was able to see Gods grace and mercy and I knew that he had great plans for me, that I had to hold on till they came.
Last night at church my Bishops sermon was about this and how big was your faith. I am human and yes I am scared sometimes, how am I going to do this? Can i really pull this off? That women comes back the one who let her ex control her and let his cruel words of how she could never do it, that she was nothing without him and how she was stupid whisper in her ear. On those days I need to be in church, I need to pray more, I need to praise to know that I will be okay. All I need to do is pray and let God worry!