Hump day Treadmill Treats
March has significant meaning to me
Life is so short and time flies by so fast sometimes we lost track of time and how many years this or that happened in our lives.
Well, thank God for Facebook and their reminders of what you were doing a year, two years even three years ago to keep you updated.
It was because of those reminders that I realized that March was so significant to me.
Dont get me wrong, I remembered all of these events but didn’t realize that they all happened in the same week in March.
I sit here and laugh as I think back over my life in these last 4 years since I was separated and then divorced.
I realized that in March this last week, 3 years ago, Stella got her Groove back. I went out with someone I had the biggest crush on while I was in high school, 1st time I was with another man in 24 years.Talk about scary! But I needed to know I was still desirable, that I was wanted, that I still had it. Hey, after a loveless, fake ass marriage, a women needs to feel that, let’s be real here.
Well that’s one thing you can always count on me to be, is real!
Anyway it turned out to be an incredible experience, one I will never forget and even though it didn’t work out the way I wanted it to, we are still great friends until this day. He helped me grow and start my journey and I am forever grateful for all he taught me.
A year later I met Mr.Con Artist and found out he was lying and cheating and threw him to the curb (literally) Yes, that also happened this week two years ago! I remember reading all I wrote at the time, all the pain I was in, how devastating it was because he knew me since we were 12 and he knew all the hurt I had endured in my life and still took advantage of all of that.
I didn’t date for a year, he cured me of that.
But I thank him as well because he also taught me so many lessons and I got to teach my girls, thoese lessons, like never to stand for a lying, cheating man, it’s a one shot deal with me you cheat and lie, we’re done!
After that year of retrospect I started talking to my high school sweetheart again. I had just bought and remodeled a new home and I was fried.
I was emotionally, physically and financially wiped out and when he suggested I come home to New York to spend a few days of down time I was ready.
This was a full circle, unreal moment for me as I could remember for years sitting in my tub every night with my wine and my sleeping pills, crying myself into a drunken stupor praying my ex husband would be asleep when I finally stumbled out of the tub.
And here I was in my high school sweethearts bathtub, that he filled for me, with coffee he brought me, telling me breakfast would be ready soon. I had dreamed of this moment for so many years and now I was living it, it so surreal it brought me to tears.
It was the most incredible weekend of my life but I learned yet another lesson as much as you might want to go back, sometimes the problems that were there the first time around are still the stumbling blocks today. He will always hold my heart and I am so grateful for that weekend but I realized it could never be again.
So while I was reading all of these events that happened in March, I was on a cruise in Mexico. Talk about an interesting month!
I have learned a lot of lessons to get to this point,
I had a lot of tears and alot of laughs, I had some heartbreaking moments and some life changing moments as well.
I am at a place of peace now, I am good with me and know my own worth.
I know that I am a survivor, and that I am okay.
I am ready to open my heart to someone and not bring the sins of the past into it, I have learned valuable lessons from each of these people. Lessons that taught me about me, lessons that let me grow into who I am now.
So today my friends, I will forever reflect on March as my most incredible learning month and I will give thanks for all that gave me those lessons.
I can not wait until next year’s March…you never know what will happen if you believe!
“Be the change you want to see”
“And just when the caterpillar thought his life was over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”
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