How our memories effect us
Recently when talking to my cousin we spoke of my former best friend and what she did to me because of her addiction. I knew I would get a response from my cousin who I love dearly.
It was because I said how I missed her and how I pray for her to get well.
Well, my cousin definitely had something to say about this one (like I didn’t already know that)
And yes, she is right. Lately I had been thinking of my former friend and all the good times we shared together. It seems like every remember when, Facebook showed me was us together and it made me sad that I no longer had this friendship.
Yes, sometimes we remember the good times and smooth right over the bad ones. Its like when a person is a crappie person all their lives but then they die and all of a sudden they are saints. Wtf? Two days ago you were calling them a Sob and now they are wonderful? Get real, just because they are dead doesn’t erase all the bad they did.
I remember a classmate who made my life hell, he was forever calling me names, he was the first to start rumors about me, he tortured me on the school bus every day. I had no idea what I ever did to him but he had it out for me. He was killed in a car crash in our junior year, everyone was going to his funeral, when they asked if I was going I said no.
They said it was disrespectful that I wasn’t going, how could I not go. I said I wasn’t a hypocrite, I didn’t like him and he never liked me when he was alive and just because he’s dead doesn’t change that fact.
Look I was sorry he died, he was young and had his whole life ahead of him but it didn’t change the fact he was a ass.
So I get my cousin, my former friend was a ass to me, she hurt me and yes, sometimes I tend to forget all of that when I am remembering the past.
Yes, it’s because I am Tinker bell and I do see the good in people even the “toads”
I will never change, that’s just me.
But I am far from stupid as I will never let her or anyone else who hurt me, do it again. Their loss not mine.
I am a friend for life, I love with all I am, I have your back, I am your ride or die girl… but, if you hurt me, we are done.
I will not let you back in my life to do it again, I am that women that if you cheat once it’s over, no second chances ever! No, I will forgive you, but I won’t forget.
So today my friends and my dear cousin who I love so very much and who I know has my back without me ever looking.
Know this…I am not going to change, I will still pray for my enemies, I will still keep looking for the good in people even when you see none, I will still forgive the ones who hurt me and I will still remember the good times and miss what we had and even through the pain, I will still remember the good, that’s just me.
Otherwise the memories of the pain will effect my entire life in a negative way and I’ve already went down that road, so I will continue to believe in fairy tales, I am going to forever be Tinkerbell and not grow up…
Me and Peter pan will be waiting for you in Neverland…
“Be the change you want to see”
“And just when the caterpillar thought his life over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”
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