Tgif Treadmill Treats
How do you know if the signals you think your getting are actually the signals? In today’s world people don’t know what they want, they have no idea the baggage they are carrying.
They say one thing yet their actions show another.They are hurt from before, they are afraid of commitment. They are hot and then cold, its no wonder there are so many confused people out there.
I was speaking to a friend recently and she told me a story and asked for my advise. (Hello! Does she read my blogs? Did she know my tract record with men?)
Anyway back to the story… she been friends with a man for years, when all of a sudden there seemed to be a shift in their friendship.
He seemed more attentive, he touched her more when speaking, he looked at her with longer eye contact, he started asking her to hang out more often, he starting treating her like a date more than a friend.
They started to go out, go dancing…things were hot and there was definitely a chemistry there that wasn’t there before between them.
She said it was all the typical signs of a man courting a women but they were friends, she was confused. So I gave her my two cents (with my track record might have been worth, half a cent)
I told her to ask him outright what was going on, that way she will know where she stands.
So after yet another hot night of dancing she found the courage to ask if there was more between them and was shocked when he said they were just friends.
Could she have been that wrong? All the signs were pointing that way and yes, they had been friends for a while and they hung out but this was different, it seemed like their friendship shifted into the
“I want more relm”
She says she is more confused than ever because he has done so much for her throughout their friendship and she was hoping that this might turn into something more.
When she came back to tell me what happened and ask my opinion again, I was as confused as she was…I’ve been there with a man who was hot then cold, in then out, the chemistry was off the charts but yet he wouldn’t step up. When I finally asked where I stood he also said friends, which was fine but there had to be a clear line, no touching, no comments about dating others, no sexual comments, there had to be a clear friend line and when he couldn’t keep those boundaries I stopped talking to him. He then went on to blowing up my phone, text messages and Facebook messages asking me why.
Boundaries….there has to be boundaries if you friends be friends….I dont flirt with my friends, I don’t dirty dance with my friends, I don’t and don’t let them cross that line of sly comments.
I say upfront we are friends and we will always be just friends please understand that. I don’t play games or give off signals unless I want it to go somewhere else.
Look we are grown ass people now stop playing games liked we played back in high school. Step up or step out simple as that.
I can’t figure men out, I have a bad picker, I am no one to give advise but my advise if you obviously have no one else to give you any, is be honest, ask straight away, and if you can’t take the answer then set up boundaries, clear boundaries you both agree to or step out if it’s too much for you to handle or your feelings are already to deep.
Life is too short to play games, to sit around and wonder…what if…Maybe..
Maybe not ….
Please! Who has time for this? We have jobs and kids and responsibilities, I don’t have time for games so please say what you want or what your looking for in the long run.
Men, don’t say on your profile your looking for a long term relationship and then text a women something sexual your lying, be real… you want to hook up.
Women don’t say you want casual then get upset when he dates others, be honest say your looking for serious.
Say what you mean and mean what you say!!
So today my friends remember be clear, people can’t read minds, don’t put off signals to confuse others and if your unsure for f***s sake say it…”Hey I like you but I am not sure where this is going or I like you but I am not over my last relationship or I am not feeling this” but be clear and be honest and for God’s sake don’t give off mixed signals.
** I know this is a tough time of year so I will be putting this number out there for all that needs it…I been there and I know how dark it may seem especially during the Christmas season, there is help, it will get better…I am living proof of “This too shall pass”**
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