You have to bring more to the table then just your junk
I have to tell you, I heard this message before, from friends and from my amazing cousin who always has my back but somehow it never sank it like this.
You know how you know what is the right thing to do, but you keep screwing up until one day bam! It hits you like a ton of bricks and it’s then when you change? Well that was me until this trip home.
I was having dinner with an old friend and we started talking about dating and my dating life in particular.
He said I should just take a break, that I was a good women with a lot to offer but I was letting all kinds of losers come to my table without bringing something.
And I will quote him excalty:
“He needs to bring something to the table, dinners, roses, candy, hell even a dam biscuit but not just his dick! He needs to bring more to the table than just his dick!”
I laughed, it was funny but that was my Oprah light bulb moment, he was absoulty right and maybe I needed to hear it this way, maybe I needed to hear it from a man, maybe I was just ready to hear it, whatever the reason was, I heard it loud and clear.
He and the others were right, yes, I’ve been single for the last 6 years and yes, I would love to be in a relationship but hell, I do have a lot to offer and I am giving it away at a bargain price when I am priceless.
Maybe it’s because of where I was for so many years, not valued, constantly put down and not appreciated that I think it’s okay to get just the crumbs. Hello! It’s not, it never will be!
I am a good women and I am not saying that to brag, that is just a fact. It’s okay to say that, to own our value, to say hey, we bring a lot to the table…what do you bring?
Why do we feel like we will never find a man, so we put up with losers that ghost us, that call us only when they want a piece of ass, liars, cheaters or men who say they want a relationship but are not willing to step up?
Why do we not value ourselves enough to say move it along buster, there’s the door, don’t let it hit you in the ass on the way out.
It might be for the reasons I did it, you’ve been beat down for so long, you don’t think you deserve it or maybe it’s because your afraid of being alone or maybe you don’t think you can find a good man out there, that’s one I hear a lot, no good men left, that’s bullshit!
I know a lot of great men, I have great male friends so I know they are out there, it’s who you are picking, let’s be real here.
I am being real here and now, Steven’s death taught me a lot of lessons, the biggest is life is too short, I am not wasting another minute on bullshit men.
I have found my worth,
I know what I bring to the table….honestly, loyalty, kindness, a big heart, a ride or die chick that will build you up and have your back always. I am independent, I can cook you some amazing meals and I will always show you what a real men needs in the bedroom….oh Hell yeah, I went there… I know what I am bringing!
We have a lot to offer, we need to stand up and like that song “Good women” says..
“Pay a couple bills, make a couple of meals, make me feel good half the time… I can do that by myself….
You got a good, good women, you better pull it together and act like know you do”
So today my friends, I am here to tell you that I know what I bring to the table….now you better step up and show me what you bring and it ain’t just gonna be your dick!
“Be the change you want to see”
“And just when the caterpillar thought his life over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”
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