Suicide is real for all of us

Suicide is real for all of us

Yesterday we learned of the suicide of multi millionaire  designer Kate Spade.
She was 55, married and had a 13 year old daughter. She grew up in the Midwest and started at the bottom working for a fashion magazine. She started her global company in her living room with her husband and it went on to be a multi million dollar, world wide company.

To the world, she had it all, fame, wealth and a beautiful family. Anything she wanted to do or buy, she could, she had the world at her feet.
But obviously that was not enough, that was not enough to stop her from taking her own life.

Just like the world famous Robin Williams, who to everyone, seemed like he had it all too. He also took his own life, he made us all laugh as he was dying inside.

You never know what someone is going through, you don’t know the pain they are in. You see what they want you to see, what they show to the world.

I can relate as I did that as well. I portrayed to the world that we were this amazing family, that we were happy, that I had this wonderful husband but in actuality we were a dysfunctional mess.

No one knew I cried every night in my tub with wine and pills to take the pain away. No one knew the pain I was in when I thought life was too much and I too, thought and planned to take my own life.

We don’t know what was going on in Kate’s head or in Robin’s head, what would make them think, it couldn’t get better.

So many of us, especially us that grew up poor and are still struggling, can’t imagine what problems you can have when you have all that fame and wealth.
We assume that money can fix it all but as we see all the time it can’t.
Like that rap song, more money, more problems. I know that lesson first hand, that money can’t buy happiness as we had plenty and I was still misrable.

Suicide can effect anyone, any time, any where, no matter how much wealth and fame you have. No matter how much you laugh or make people laugh, this may be a front they are putting on.

You don’t know what will push someone over the edge, that one more thing they can’t deal with for one more day. You don’t know unless you’ve been there, how it feels. Unless you’ve hit rock bottom and you don’t think you will ever see the sun again. Unless you know what hopelessness feels like, like there is no other way to stop the pain you are in.

Yes, we all at one time or another may have thought the world is better off without us, that the struggle is too much, that we just can’t make it through one more day.

But I am here by the grace of God, to say it can get better, it will get better if you just hold on, if you reach out for help, if you tell someone.

Life will always kick us down, it will always get tough but it will also get better. After every storm the sun comes back out…every storm. Same thing in your life, the sun will come out again, if you hold on.

I wish people would talk about this more, talk about their pain, their depression, their struggles so others see they are not alone.
I write this blog and I put all my life out here, even the really ugly because I am human, I make mistakes, I am in pain at times. I struggle, I get hurt, lied to, cheated on, I get knocked down but I am still here and grateful that I didn’t take my life, grateful years ago, God saved me from myself.

So that I can preach this message, never give up, get back up, bloody, bruised and hurt, get back up, the fight is not over, you still have a sun to see. It will get better, I am living proof of that.

My deepest condolences goes out to Kate Spade’s family and the millions of other familes that we don’t hear of that this happens to every day.

Please reach out for help, it saved me from myself, there is help out there.
Here is the information:

Prevention Lifeline

We can all help prevent suicide. The Lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support for people in distress, prevention and crisis resources for you or your loved ones, and best practices for professionals.


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